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Embracing myself and making new friends

bedwetterdavid

Bedwetter, overactive bladder, diaper lover
Est. Contributor
Messages
315
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Incontinent
Hi everyone! I've lurked in this community for a lot of years and only had an official profile for the last few. I feel like I'm finally thinking of this community as a group of friends with common interests who I can interact with, rather than something to be ashamed of.

I'm a pretty normal guy. Early 40's, family man, etc. I run a small business, I'm a military veteran, and enjoy being active.

I'm a Diaper Lover, and history with diapers is rather typical except that I feel like I got lucky with the era I was born into (1981) and how understanding my parents were. As a bedwetter, my parents kept me in diapers pretty much consistently as a young kid. There may have been a few times at 5 or 6 that they tried having me wake up in wet sheets to see if that would motivate me to quit, but they realized pretty quickly that it wasn't under my control. I even remember the old "star chart" where I was supposed to put a star sticker on each day I woke up dry, and would earn treats for it. I would get so disappointed when I would "fail". But after while they basically resigned themselves to the fact that my bedwetting was involuntary, and I wasn't made to feel too badly about it (although it was something I still felt ashamed of).

I think I was in diapers at night off and on until about 8. I have a memory of my mom getting pregnant with my younger brother when I was 7 and I remember commenting that "the baby wouldn't be the only one in diapers". With that said, I also have a vivid memory of my parents making me wear plastic pants over my underwear at night to stop the bedwetting and I feel like I'd been out of diapers for a while at that point. I'm not sure how old I was, but it was traumatic for me and I threw a fit. They finally threatened to spank me if I didn't comply, and I accepted my fate while feeling utterly humiliated. But I have no memories of diapers after age 8 until the next VERY impactful event happened in my life.

From 8 until 11 I was left to just wet the bed. I had to take care of my laundry, and my room always smelled like pee. I had a plastic mattress cover but my bedwetting was a huge source of embarrassment to me. I was MORTIFIED if anyone found out. In that time (around 10 I think) my parents tried a bedwetting alarm, but in my deep sleep I would just grab and yank the wires and never wake up enough to use the toilet. Ultimately I just kept wetting my bed.

Then in 1993 when I was months from turning 12, my dad told us he was going to be set to a technical training in Las Vegas for a week. With it being 14 hours away, my parents decided to make it a family road trip with us camping halfway in our tent trailer. My mom mentioned to me prior to the trip that she was concerned about me wetting the bed in the trailer or the hotel, and thought maybe we should get some adult diapers for me to wear. I was both embarrassed and fascinated. For the first time I really felt a desire to wear diapers, and didn't understand why. I actually reminded her about it the week prior to the trip and a day or two before, she took me to the store to buy some diapers for the first time in years.

The idea of being put back in diapers at 11.5 years old was something I had never considered, but all of a sudden it opened a new chapter in my life. I put those diapers on that first night and remember thinking there were incredibly crinkly and obvious. I did my best to hide them from my 3 siblings, but it was impossible. There was no hiding it that David was back in diapers. When I would walk around, the thickness of those early 90's diapers and the crinkling was a dead giveaway. I had other memorable embarrassing incidents during that trip which I've shared in other posts, but ultimately I think being put back in diapers at an older age like that was the origin of my affinity for them.

I eventually stopped having accidents about a year later, and was try for a solid 4 years. I joined the military and had probably 5 - 6 bedwetting accidents in bootcamp but was never discovered by anyone except my bunkmate. After that I was dry for another 5 years until I got married. Starting in my early 20s I would wet the bed maybe once every other year. In my mid 30s it happened a few times, and after one particular time I took the opportunity to wear diapers to bed just in case. My wife was understanding and grateful for the protection. Once I was back in diapers my bedwetting seemed to return full force. Within about 4 months I was waking up with a wet diaper about 5 nights a week. My theory is I've always been prone to wetting the bed, but that my subconscious mind wouldn't sleep deeply for fear of having an accident. I think now that I know I'm diapered I sleep deeper knowing I'm safe. I'm actually working with a urologist right now to get to the bottom of it with no luck. My neurologist actually thinks it could be stress induced.

Anyway, that's where I'm at! Hopefully I can make friends with some of you.
 
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Hello and welcome aboard!
 
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Very interesting intro! How do you feel, today, about bedwetting and how much of a practical issue (i.e. leaks, exposure/embarrassment or making sure not to fall asleep when not wearing protection) does it represent for you?
 
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Fiammaverde said:
Very interesting intro! How do you feel, today, about bedwetting and how much of a practical issue (i.e. leaks, exposure/embarrassment or making sure not to fall asleep when not wearing protection) does it represent for you?

So I'm really torn on this issue.

There's part of me that's actually relieved that I'm a bedwetter again because it gives me the opportunity to wear diapers every night. Honestly diapers were a bit of an obsession for me before, and I would find myself spending entire work days on the road buying and wearing diapers to get my "fix". It was unhealthy, distracting, and resulted in guilt. Now that I can wear them at night I don't obsess about them nearly as much in the day, so I can focus on work much easier. From that perspective I can almost say that they're a necessity for my mental health.

On the other side of the coin I'm disappointed. I enjoy camping, mountaineering, hiking, etc. and those kind of outdoor overnight trips with the guys are difficult if you have to diaper up (or worry about a wet sleeping bag). I even had dreams of taking my kids on missions trips with my church to third world countries, but the idea of bringing 2 weeks of diapers to Papua New Guinea is daunting. Plus, what if disposal is a problem? I may not be able to just anonymously throw them away. (So far I'm trying to hide my diapers and bedwetting from my kids)

The other issue kind of contradicts my first point. While I obsess less due to daily use, I also am less interested. Diapers aren't that much fun anymore and that's actually a little disappointing. I think the ideal scenario for me would be one where I only wet the bed at certain predictable times. Like if I'm exceptionally tired, after sex where I'm likely to sleep deeply, or if I'm sick. I would LOVE it if my wife MADE me wear them during those times and reminded me so I don't have a choice. That's the dream. That way it's not all the time and doesn't lose the magic, it doesn't interfere with my adventurous aspirations, but I can still enjoy them without hiding them from her.

That's actually why I'm seeing a urologist and neurologist. I'm trying to figure out why I don't wake up when I need to pee. So far they've determined that I have urinary retention due to a benign enlarged prostate, so my bladder fills up faster because it doesn't fully empty. That leads to overflow incontinence. But that doesn't explain why I don't wake up.

Anyway, the journey continues. Either they'll find a way to "cure me" (in which case I'll probably make sure I'm wet after sex or when I'm sick) or I'll eventually get worse and none of it will matter. :)
 
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Interesting story. Welcome to the community! I've been exploring trying to pee while lying down but I have a mental block right now that makes it nearly impossible to do. But, I was never a bedwetter and that may be why. It seems like if you had previous episodes of it, your body still sort of gets past that mental block and just reverts to what it used to do. For you, probably being in diapers and having confidence in them being able to absorb your accidents caused you to get rid of the mental block stopping you from doing it and revert back to wetting again.

Overall, I'm really interested in experience all the sides of the ABDL lifestyle but can only do so much until I have a place to myself.
 
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Omg301 said:
Interesting story. Welcome to the community! I've been exploring trying to pee while lying down but I have a mental block right now that makes it nearly impossible to do. But, I was never a bedwetter and that may be why. It seems like if you had previous episodes of it, your body still sort of gets past that mental block and just reverts to what it used to do. For you, probably being in diapers and having confidence in them being able to absorb your accidents caused you to get rid of the mental block stopping you from doing it and revert back to wetting again.

Overall, I'm really interested in experience all the sides of the ABDL lifestyle but can only do so much until I have a place to myself.

Yeah, I've speculated a lot on this. A lot of people, including previous bedwetters, simply wake up when they need to pee. That bladder-brain connection is strong, and difficult to delete. I'm not sure why mine disappeared so fast. That's why I lean toward the idea that I've always been a bedwetter, and now my body is just relaxing more at night.

As far as peeing laying down, yeah it's not easy but it's just relaxation. Once you can wear diapers regularly that's pretty easy to get used to.
 
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Hello and welcome .. great introduction. I have always we the bed after sex, I fall into deep sleep and usually will wet fairly early ..my wife sometimes would make sure I went to the bathroom after we had sex, but not always she kept our bed very well protected back then (and stull does) . I wear diapers every night
 
chamberpot said:
Hello and welcome .. great introduction. I have always we the bed after sex, I fall into deep sleep and usually will wet fairly early ..my wife sometimes would make sure I went to the bathroom after we had sex, but not always she kept our bed very well protected back then (and stull does) . I wear diapers every night

That's awesome. My wife already knows I'm unlikely to wet the bed when I'm away from home, and most likely to wet the bed when I'm extremely tired and in my own bed. So I'm close. I just need to gain control *most nights so I can sleep normally except for high risk situations.
 
bedwetterdavid said:
On the other side of the coin I'm disappointed. I enjoy camping, mountaineering, hiking, etc. and those kind of outdoor overnight trips with the guys are difficult if you have to diaper up (or worry about a wet sleeping bag).
As a fellow DL, I can relate to this. There is however some added flavor in doing DL things when away from home and surrounded mostly by people that you don’t know well. When traveling out of my usual neighborhood, being in potentially embarrassing situations will usually not have long-lasting effects, so I like to have my DL side surface a bit more and let it interact with the world.
One thing I always enjoy abroad is shopping for incontinence products. There is a thrill for me to hold a conversation about “that topic” with a salesperson who may also have English as second language.

Is your wife aware just of your bedwetting, or also of you being DL?
Is bedwetting something that runs in your family?
How would you approach the matter, should your children also be bedwetters?
 
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Wow . You are an excellent writer .
That was a very good introduction!
Welcome! I look forward to getting to know you better ! 😊..
My fascination with diapers started very early, about 3 or 4 years old ..
Unfortunately it was due to abuse from a baby sitter .
Although that was a bad thing, I have only positive feelings from my diapers today .
Although it has been a very hard journey for me , I am happy to be ABDL now . I'm 47 and nothing is going to change that .. so I am a happy little kitty with my diapers , pacifier and stuffie..
 
Great intro and welcome to the group!
 
Fiammaverde said:
As a fellow DL, I can relate to this. There is however some added flavor in doing DL things when away from home and surrounded mostly by people that you don’t know well. When traveling out of my usual neighborhood, being in potentially embarrassing situations will usually not have long-lasting effects, so I like to have my DL side surface a bit more and let it interact with the world.
One thing I always enjoy abroad is shopping for incontinence products. There is a thrill for me to hold a conversation about “that topic” with a salesperson who may also have English as second language.

I do that too! Love shopping for diapers, love talking to medical supply store people about them, and I love putting myself in embarrassing situations.

Recently I was wearing a diaper in another city and wet it on the drive so much that it leaked pretty badly. I had a backpack with pajamas in it, but that was all. So I stopped in at a medical supply store, explained that I was on an overnight trip and had leaked, and that I needed better diapers for the remainder of the drive. She helped me pick out some great disposable overnight diapers and stuffers, and I asked if I could change my diaper and clothes in her bathroom (the leak was pretty obvious). She was happy to oblige, and when I came out in my pajamas she actually had me turn around so she could inspect them to see if my diaper was too obvious. She said it was visible (the pjs were snug) and suggested I tie my shirt around my waist to hide my diaper butt. I love those interactions!
 
Fiammaverde said:
Is your wife aware just of your bedwetting, or also of you being DL?
Is bedwetting something that runs in your family?
How would you approach the matter, should your children also be bedwetters?

My wife is also aware of my DL tendencies, but is reluctant to participate. She's self conscious about the whole thing, but I have hopes that she'll warm up. So for the most part I keep it on the DL (haha)

Bedwetting does run in my family. My mom wet the bed until she was 12, and some of my kids wet too. I have 5 of them and the bedwetters have all outgrown it, but I had two that were in pullups/goodnites until they were 12 just like me (although I was in diapers, not pullups). We didn't make a big deal out of it and let them manage it themselves.
 
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bedwetterdavid said:
Hi everyone! I've lurked in this community for a lot of years and only had an official profile for the last few. I feel like I'm finally thinking of this community as a group of friends with common interests who I can interact with, rather than something to be ashamed of.

I'm a pretty normal guy. Early 40's, family man, etc. I run a small business, I'm a military veteran, and enjoy being active.

I'm a Diaper Lover, and history with diapers is rather typical except that I feel like I got lucky with the era I was born into (1981) and how understanding my parents were. As a bedwetter, my parents kept me in diapers pretty much consistently as a young kid. There may have been a few times at 5 or 6 that they tried having me wake up in wet sheets to see if that would motivate me to quit, but they realized pretty quickly that it wasn't under my control. I even remember the old "star chart" where I was supposed to put a star sticker on each day I woke up dry, and would earn treats for it. I would get so disappointed when I would "fail". But after while they basically resigned themselves to the fact that my bedwetting was involuntary, and I wasn't made to feel too badly about it (although it was something I still felt ashamed of).

I think I was in diapers at night off and on until about 8. I have a memory of my mom getting pregnant with my younger brother when I was 7 and I remember commenting that "the baby wouldn't be the only one in diapers". With that said, I also have a vivid memory of my parents making me wear plastic pants over my underwear at night to stop the bedwetting and I feel like I'd been out of diapers for a while at that point. I'm not sure how old I was, but it was traumatic for me and I threw a fit. They finally threatened to spank me if I didn't comply, and I accepted my fate while feeling utterly humiliated. But I have no memories of diapers after age 8 until the next VERY impactful event happened in my life.

From 8 until 11 I was left to just wet the bed. I had to take care of my laundry, and my room always smelled like pee. I had a plastic mattress cover but my bedwetting was a huge source of embarrassment to me. I was MORTIFIED if anyone found out. In that time (around 10 I think) my parents tried a bedwetting alarm, but in my deep sleep I would just grab and yank the wires and never wake up enough to use the toilet. Ultimately I just kept wetting my bed.

Then in 1993 when I was months from turning 12, my dad told us he was going to be set to a technical training in Las Vegas for a week. With it being 14 hours away, my parents decided to make it a family road trip with us camping halfway in our tent trailer. My mom mentioned to me prior to the trip that she was concerned about me wetting the bed in the trailer or the hotel, and thought maybe we should get some adult diapers for me to wear. I was both embarrassed and fascinated. For the first time I really felt a desire to wear diapers, and didn't understand why. I actually reminded her about it the week prior to the trip and a day or two before, she took me to the store to buy some diapers for the first time in years.

The idea of being put back in diapers at 11.5 years old was something I had never considered, but all of a sudden it opened a new chapter in my life. I put those diapers on that first night and remember thinking there were incredibly crinkly and obvious. I did my best to hide them from my 3 siblings, but it was impossible. There was no hiding it that David was back in diapers. When I would walk around, the thickness of those early 90's diapers and the crinkling was a dead giveaway. I had other memorable embarrassing incidents during that trip which I've shared in other posts, but ultimately I think being put back in diapers at an older age like that was the origin of my affinity for them.

I eventually stopped having accidents about a year later, and was try for a solid 4 years. I joined the military and had probably 5 - 6 bedwetting accidents in bootcamp but was never discovered by anyone except my bunkmate. After that I was dry for another 5 years until I got married. Starting in my early 20s I would wet the bed maybe once every other year. In my mid 30s it happened a few times, and after one particular time I took the opportunity to wear diapers to bed just in case. My wife was understanding and grateful for the protection. Once I was back in diapers my bedwetting seemed to return full force. Within about 4 months I was waking up with a wet diaper about 5 nights a week. My theory is I've always been prone to wetting the bed, but that my subconscious mind wouldn't sleep deeply for fear of having an accident. I think now that I know I'm diapered I sleep deeper knowing I'm safe. I'm actually working with a urologist right now to get to the bottom of it with no luck. My neurologist actually thinks it could be stress induced.

Anyway, that's where I'm at! Hopefully I can make friends with some of you.
Welcome! Thanks for sharing, you’re definitely among friends here!
 
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