Embarrassment

[teddy564339]

One of the most intriguing things about AB/DLism to me is the whole notion of how embarrassment/humiliation is so appealing. I would rather stick to the idea of "embarrassment" rather than "humiliation" right now, just because I think that humiliation sounds so extreme. Like, when I think of humiliation, I think of being so embarrassed that you start to feel depressed or sick or crazy or whatever. Embarrassment, on the other hand, can sometimes give you a thrill without completely taking you out of your comfort zone.

I mean, I think a lot of people have humiliation fantasies, but I bet most of them wouldn't have the guts to live them out...there are just too many consequences, and it breaks down the wall between "normal" life and AB/DLism.

Embarrassment, on the other hand, is something that I know I at least have felt in the AB/DL sense, even if most of it was beyond my control.

Now, I've read about the reasons why embarrassment is such an appealing factor in AB/DLism....the whole notion of now embarrassment is a state of powerlessness, and lack of power is a natural trait of real babies, and yada yada yada. I'm not so much concerned with that right now.

I guess what I'm curious to hear from people is...when you have AB fantasies, do you like the notion of embarrassment? Also, how does it play into your fantasies?


When I think about it, I think it's more of a question of...when you fantasize, do you picture yourself as an actual baby, or do you picture yourself as yourself in a situation where someone is treating you like a baby?

Here's what I mean: If you like to picture yourself being a baby, then I would imagine embarrassment would not be a factor. Because...babies aren't embarrassed about being babies.

But...if you like being TREATED like a baby...I don't see how you can avoid embarrassment. I mean, even as an AB, I think it's embarrassing to think of myself as a baby...I think it's just a natural human trait. Maybe it's just me, but it seems like everyone would feel at least some kind of embarrassment if someone were to treat them like a baby in any way. Even if it's just simple things like playfully pinching a cheek or using slight baby talk.

I mean, I can think of a lot of little situations where friends (mostly female ) have made little babyish jokes to/about me. One time I was tired and one of my friends said "Do you need to be put in your crib?". Another time, another girl and I walked by some baby clothes and she said "Should we get a onesie for you?" And, of course, I have shown my teddy bear to a few female friends, who thought it was completely adorable that I had one. I even left my teddy out one time so that one of my male friends would see the teddy, and he made a few lighthearted jokes making fun of me about it.

But in those situations...there was always that thrill of embarrassment. Even though the embarrassment was uncomfortable, part of me wanted them to push those statements even further. It wasn't just the desire to be a baby...the embarrassment magnified it.

And I think it's just that those things are the closest I've gotten to someone treating me like a baby. Besides, if someone were to baby me because I asked them to, I would always be thinking they were only doing it because I wanted them to. In the embarrassing situations, what's so appealing about it is that I know that THEY get pleasure out of babying me. So I think it makes sense, because that's the way it is with real babies...tons of people, especially females, enjoy treating babies like babies.


Whew...I always get carried away with posts. Now it's probably too long for most people to take the time to read it. But I always think it's fun to think about these kinds of things.

 

[BromeTeks]

I go for embarassment in only a small percentage of my fantasies. Most of them Don't involve it.

 

[Error404]

I suppose embarrassment and humiliation just help people feel smaller.

Personally, I don't get humiliated or embarrassed at all, for me, the 'humiliation' and 'embarrassment' based actions towards me are to remind my regressed 4 year old self that I'm still just a little boy.

My regressed self has a whole different personality, I'm a little boy trying to be a big boy and through such, growing up to fast, so it's usually my caretakers job to make sure that I'm little by enforcing diaper use, naps, early bedtimes, et cetera.

...

Maybe the personality ISN'T that different from me after all.

 

[EmeraldsAndLime]

I think embarrassment adds greater depth to the whole experience of role-playing. You look at babies and they do things that adults or just older people in general wouldn't do. A lot of those things would be embarrassing for someone if they were grown-up and still did them.

I guess you have to look at it in the context of what your are doing and what you are trying to achieve. If you are acting like a baby, then these things come with the territory. It's not embarrassing per se, but since it's an older person acting this way then there is that hump to overcome. I think once you realise it's all part of acting out the fantasy, it's not so troublesome. I have been babied before and I was hugely embarrassed at first about it, but it passes in time and actually became quite a fun thing to do. I guess you could say it became "embarrassingly comfortable", as strange as that sounds.

 

[gamebaby]

I Was going to write about somthing like this. Any way im not into the whole embarrassing my self kind of this. I just want control and fredom to act like a baby and with some one who understands and wont tell. To me those kinds of fantises are my nightmares. But not to say it dosnt apeal to others. But the other guys are right about one thing. IF your and AB or Dl most people think of one thing. BABY. So it would defintly help in making you feel small.

 

[spacemanBEN]

Embarrassment is part of some of my fantasies, but definitely not all of them. It does seem to add a certain dimension to my fantasies. On occasion I have enjoyed the idea of forced regression which obviously involves a certain degree of embarrassment. However, my fantasies often involve being innocently treated like a real baby and this does not include the embarrassment aspect. Maybe about half of my fantasies involve some degree of this embarrassment. I think in reality and role-playing, I'd rather have this embarrassment kept to a minimum with the focus on being treated like a baby instead of being humiliated. Still, it can be fun to fantasize about and I wouldn't want most of my fantasies to become reality anyways.

 

[Error404]

I think embarrassment adds greater depth to the whole experience of role-playing. You look at babies and they do things that adults or just older people in general wouldn't do. A lot of those things would be embarrassing for someone if they were grown-up and still did them.

I guess you have to look at it in the context of what your are doing and what you are trying to achieve. If you are acting like a baby, then these things come with the territory. It's not embarrassing per se, but since it's an older person acting this way then there is that hump to overcome. I think once you realise it's all part of acting out the fantasy, it's not so troublesome. I have been babied before and I was hugely embarrassed at first about it, but it passes in time and actually became quite a fun thing to do. I guess you could say it became "embarrassingly comfortable", as strange as that sounds.

The very first time I was babied, the person whom babied me said I was the most realistic this person has ever seen. I won't give names, but I remember a good majority of the day we spent together very fondly. I was not embarrassed at all at any point. If this person wishes to post regarding such, I'm fine with said person posting regarding such.

I wasn't embarrassed at all, being because I completely immersed myself into the situation and I thoroughly remember how much I calmed down to being fed strawberry milk, and for how much of a hyper energetic person I am with an inability to keep still, for the first time in years, I settled, remained near perfect still (However, still twitching lightly) and I found myself just falling deeper and deeper into my regressed persona.

To the person whom knows who they are. I thank you. My memories are special and one of few things that have slipped into my heart.

 

[BabyDemon]

I think embarrassment plays a huge role. For me I think its the fear of being embarrassed. I HATE being embarrassed. I have trouble watching movies like American Pie where people are embarrassed on the screen because I feel their embarrassment. So for me when I'm an AB/DL what adds depth to my fantasies in the fear that I could be embarassed. Weird?

 

[weswissa]

I think embarrassment plays a huge role. For me I think its the fear of being embarrassed. I HATE being embarrassed. I have trouble watching movies like American Pie where people are embarrassed on the screen because I feel their embarrassment. So for me when I'm an AB/DL what adds depth to my fantasies in the fear that I could be embarassed. Weird?

Me too, like all of their emotions have been poured into me... and I do what I would do if I got that emotion in real life... even know that is real... but whatever... I get what you are saying...

~Weswissa

 

[starshine]

Embarrassment.

Embarrassment to me is a big part of my AB/DL life. It seems to come with the territory of regression, sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad. A lot of the time the embarrassment is there for a reason, and more often than not, it comes naturally.

When I regress, while I’m in the mindset of a 4yr old, and thinking like a 4yr old, I still can’t get rid of the fact that I’m an adult. The fact that I’m 5’10” and I’m a high school senior is always in the back of my head, and it stays there. So while I may be thinking about when the next Care Bears episode is on, I still can’t help but blush if someone were to slip their finger down my diaper to check if I was wet, because I know I’m an adult. I’m sure with the right person I’d be able to get past that, maybe even forget, but I can’t for some reason. It just stays in the back of my mind, even if subconscious.

I think it’s all about what you’re used too, as well. IRL I’m pretty, self sufficient, I do what I need to do, and I do it in a mature way. I don’t accept compliments for anything other than my achievements. So when someone just starts telling me how darn cute I am with a pacifier in my mouth my entire face turns beet red. However - when I’m told what a big girl I am for using the potty, then that just seems normal for some reason. But really, if someone wants to really make me blush, they just have to remind me what a cute ‘lil girl I am, it’s as easy as that. (If I’m in the right mindest, of course.) Also, because I do just about everything for myself IRL, when I have to rely on someone to do simple things for me, or they remind me that I’m too little to do it myself, that is really embarrassing too. Although I think that ties in with the ‘you know you’re still an adult’ thing.

It all depends on the age I role play at, as well. A 4yr old, typically, is potty trained. When I’m in that mindset and I wet my pants I’m still too old to be doing so. I like the scolding I’d get, the punishment, and the wave of disappointment. And then - is when I like the embarrassment. I want to be told it’s bad, that I’m supposed to be a big girl, that I should be embarrassed.

I also have my public humiliation fantasies. Note, it’s not something I’d ever do, because I believe that things like this should be kept to the privacy of my bedroom, but I‘ve thought about it. Being led around, my skirt lifted to check my diaper, or maybe wetting my pants and not being able to change right away. I can imagine myself blushing a deep red all the while enjoying every minute of it.

Now on the flip side - I enjoy embarrassing others a lot. I want to lead someone around, let them know how small they are, scold them when they’re bad. Or even, remind a man that he is, indeed, a man acting like a baby. I love watching someone blush, advert their eyes, and I like knowing that right at that minute - I have them in the palm of my hand, because I have a hold of their dignity. I think I enjoy this aspect of it just a tad bit more than I do actually being embarrassed myself.

 

[Mako]

For me only time I like being embarrassed is when I'm feeling naughty. But when I just want to be cuddled, or silly and playful, it would simply just counter the desired feelings and setting.

 

[Charlie]

I always call it humiliation rather than embarrassment. Just quickly quoting from wikipedia:
"Embarrassment is an emotional state experienced upon having a socially or professionally unacceptable act or condition witnessed by or revealed to others."
"Humiliation (also called stultification) is the abasement of pride; mortification. The state of being humbled or reduced to lowliness or submission. It is thus the process of being made humble. It can be brought about through bullying, intimidation, physical or mental mistreatment or trickery and embarrassment."

To me, humiliation feels a lot different to embarrassment, and certainly isn't 'embarrassment to a larger degree' as some people seem to say it is.
I tend to think that humiliation involves a humiliator...

Tripping over one's shoelaces in public, or running for a bus and missing it, or failing to catch a ball from a gentle throw (etc etc...) are all embarrassing, but from none of those would I gain any sort of (even a very remote) sexual thrill. In fact it seems absurd to think of that. Whereas having someone do something to me to intentionally bring me down would probably be very sexually thrilling.

To answer your question, humiliation is the major part of my AB fantasies. I'd go as far as saying that I'm not so much an AB/DL etc. as I am a person who is into humiliation, and diapers and baby stuff just so happens to be one of the most humiliating things I can think of. (This is also the root of my being a sissy).

How does it play into my fantasies? Well they are all geared towards it basically...

 

[Martin]

As long as nobody is around that doesn't know about what's going on I'm not embarrassed / I don't feel humiliated. As soon as that isn't the case I am but it doesn't feel good. Not really part of my fantasies either, guess I'm a minority when it comes to that.

 

[Millenniumfalsehood]

Embarrassment and humiliation don't have much to do with my fantasies, as they usually revolve around diaper-wearing as being normal and me finding other people who wear.

 

[teddy564339]

What I like about all of the responses here is that there are a wide range of them. Some people get nothing out of being embarrassed, and for others it's a very big thing.

Something I think that's also interesting...I don't think it's been brought up in detail in this thread, but I think in general embarrassment/humiliation seems to be sexually pleasing among *B/DL's. I'm sure there are people who get non-sexual pleasure out of embarrassment, and also people who get sexual pleasure out of non embarrassing *B/DL stuff. But...I wouldn't be surprised if it was a trend that people who like *B/DLism non-sexually also tend to not like embarrassment, and people with sexual pleasures tend to like embarrassment.


Of course, the next huge question would be why some of us like embarrassment and others don't...but that's a complicated question that I doubt anyone has a true answer for.

 

[Maverick]

When I regress, I don't really want to be humiliated. I want to be loved and given affection. I also want to be treated like a baby. But I don't actually want to be humiliated; that doesn't sound fun.

I used to have a big interest in physical age regression, though. I still do, but it's not as major as it was many months ago. That's pretty humiliating; a grown man being regressed to babyhood. So, maybe I do like some humiliation.

Although, I'd probably enjoy it if I had a female friend who said, "Do you need to go in your crib?" or "Should we get you a onesie?" like teddy564339's friends said. I'd blush a little, but I'd find it enjoyable.

 

[Mr. Marley]

I'm not an AB/TB/Infantilist. But one of my fantasies is that i'm very small, and people treats me like a toddler/child even though I don't wont do, and they know how old I really is. Its rather a humiliation-fantasy involving being treated as a baby against my own will, than a AB-fantasy. And the one time I did meet another dl for diaper play, I enjoyed that he made me wear diapers and a body, even though I never felt like a baby.

But I know I would never enjoy my fantasies if they became real. Humiliation as a part of diaper/baby/sex-play is one thing, being humiliated in "real" life is another. And I really hate that.

 

[IncompleteDude]

I don't get embarrassed if I'm with abdl carers or friends doing abdl stuff. Nude beaches are no problem also. However, the problem for me in when abdl stuff happens in a non-abdl setting. Like when my brother carries my bear around the house in front of my family to tease me. Cause then, the abdl stuff is crossing boundaries it shouldn't, and that makes me mad. To be sure, I do enjoy doing abdl stuff in public, on the rare occasion I intend to do it, because I get some pleasure in freaking others out! hehe

 

[Vladimir]

Embarrassment makes me cum. ;3

I prefer to keep things short, so no huge paragraph for me.

 

[teddy564339]

Embarrassment makes me cum. ;3

I prefer to keep things short, so no huge paragraph for me.

That actually sums up a plethora of thoughts very succinctly.