Don't really know if I can withstand wearing diapers

Allebasi

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Hi all,
Although my feelings for diapers/diaperings began a long time ago - back in 1998 - I really don't know if diapering is for me. Although my family is against age regression, my anxiety level has recently increased a lot, and would feel better regressing into more-frequent diaperings. Yet, I'm not rich, so buying diapers isn't really "me". I can't seem to find a job, and because of other issues I don't know if I can work ever again. Pacifiers don't really pull me any closer, and thumbsucking/bottle feeding isn't really something that I feel comfortable doing. I really don't know. When I diaper-wore in the early-late 2000's, (my fascination began in about the year 2000), I felt comfortable , and my anxiety was less.

I can't even explain my feelings to my doctor, because all they want to do is dope people up with unnecessary drugs until your committed to a psych ward. I enjoy using disposable diapers when I was diaper-wearing, yet I was always found out, and when I sometimes wore reusable cotton ones, it seemed like I was forever washing them. I never really could "go" into them - at least not beyond pee - but just the feeling of coziness really made me feel "safe" and comfortable.

My adult pacifier went away when I lost comfortableness using it. Can someone at least console me with what I could be missing?
(only using a pen name, and besides this pen name isn't for my real sex/gender).

Allebasi
 
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sbmccue

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We'd all be helped if you'd post an introduction. All of us here are certainly willing to do whatever we can to help you cope, but the difficulty is compounded when we know nothing about you.

You mention that your family is "against age regression." I find this very unusual. Have other family members actually said they'd look down on someone who used regressive behavior to cope?

I've been a practicing adult baby for nearly 40 years. I can tell you that the desire to wear won't magically disappear, and that if wearing diapers relieves stress for you and enables you to deal with the adult world, that seems like a cheap price to pay.

Finally, while I'm sure some doctors just want to "dope people up," my guess is that seeing a good therapist or counselor wouldn't result in that particular outcome. Again, you likely have deeper issues that none of us is capable of addressing ... largely because we don't know you.

Best wishes!
 

Allebasi

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Let's leave it that way. Maybe I shouldn't be here on this forum site. Can you delete my username from this site and close my account? Please find a way to do that!
 

Covered

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It sounds like you have a way of dealing with anxiety that doesn't involve harmful/addictive meds - why question that? I think you're over-thinking this and being too hard on yourself. Do whatever you've got to do to feel better, and don't spend too long worrying what others think.
 
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Diapersall81

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Allebasi said:
Hi all,
Although my feelings for diapers/diaperings began a long time ago - back in 1998 - I really don't know if diapering is for me. Although my family is against age regression, my anxiety level has recently increased a lot, and would feel better regressing into more-frequent diaperings. Yet, I'm not rich, so buying diapers isn't really "me". I can't seem to find a job, and because of other issues I don't know if I can work ever again. Pacifiers don't really pull me any closer, and thumbsucking/bottle feeding isn't really something that I feel comfortable doing. I really don't know. When I diaper-wore in the early-late 2000's, (my fascination began in about the year 2000), I felt comfortable , and my anxiety was less.

I can't even explain my feelings to my doctor, because all they want to do is dope people up with unnecessary drugs until your committed to a psych ward. I enjoy using disposable diapers when I was diaper-wearing, yet I was always found out, and when I sometimes wore reusable cotton ones, it seemed like I was forever washing them. I never really could "go" into them - at least not beyond pee - but just the feeling of coziness really made me feel "safe" and comfortable.

My adult pacifier went away when I lost comfortableness using it. Can someone at least console me with what I could be missing?
(only using a pen name, and besides this pen name isn't for my real sex/gender).

Allebasi
Sorry for the missed interpatation.... I didn't have my glasses on at first... late added post.... I thought it said couldn't whistle while... lol
 
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aberrantlyme

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Allebasi said:
Let's leave it that way. Maybe I shouldn't be here on this forum site. Can you delete my username from this site and close my account? Please find a way to do that!
@sbmccue is saying that people are able to help more when we understand some of your back story. I do not believe they are asking you to share all of your personal information. Most of the users on here are hiding behind a username/pseudonym as well. When you begin where you did without context and supplemental info it is harder to help provide insight.

Many of us have felt like you do, and you have to find what ABDL means to you. Some like pacis, others not so much. While we are a niche subset of people we all still experience diapers differently because our past has presented diapers, regression, and these feelings in a different way. The commonalities bring us together, while our differences make us each unique.

Many also create and account and then delete it. This is similar to binge/purge that occurs with diapers. I would encourage you to slow down and take the time to look at your own personal acceptance of you as an ABDL. When I was able to allow myself to accept diapers as part of a balanced, healthy life I was able to push past the initial emotional responses of padding up and dig deeper into why I reach for them.

This forum, and this community, is very supportive.

If you are not ready, you can delete your own account in settings.
 
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blaincorrous

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Allebasi said:
Let's leave it that way. Maybe I shouldn't be here on this forum site. Can you delete my username from this site and close my account? Please find a way to do that!
“Shouldn’t” is a strange choice of words here. A therapist would take that word and ask why you’re so resolved that this word determines your truth.

There’s a very slim profile of people who shouldn’t be here. Underaged, pedophilic, self-harming. The people who SHOULD be here are people looking for support with who they are and what they’re dealing with, if it’s has anything to do with diapers, regressing, or incontinence.

I think you’ve been down the road you’re traveling before. You know where the road leads, you don’t want to go there, but what choice do you think you have? But everything is choice. Getting out of bed is a choice. Eating is a choice. Breathing is a choice.

Breaking out of a cycle is a choice.

Not breaking out of a cycle is a choice.

It sounds like you have some severe depression and anxiety and don’t feel like you have a way out. We want to help or we want to direct you to someone who can help.

You don’t want to use medications? That’s fine, as long as you can address the problem in another way. I believe the right therapist would help you. It doesn’t necessarily lead to medication.

Medication, for that matter, doesn’t necessarily lead to the psych ward. That feeling is your depression fighting for survival, like a parasite. At the core, you need to be a problem solver. Keeping your struggles and living with them isn’t helping you. They lie about the difficulty in solving them, the same way they lie about the benefits of ending them.
 
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WolfG

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blaincorrous said:
“Shouldn’t” is a strange choice of words here. A therapist would take that word and ask why you’re so resolved that this word determines your truth.

There’s a very slim profile of people who shouldn’t be here. Underaged, pedophilic, self-harming. The people who SHOULD be here are people looking for support with who they are and what they’re dealing with, if it’s has anything to do with diapers, regressing, or incontinence.

I think you’ve been down the road you’re traveling before. You know where the road leads, you don’t want to go there, but what choice do you think you have? But everything is choice. Getting out of bed is a choice. Eating is a choice. Breathing is a choice.

Breaking out of a cycle is a choice.

Not breaking out of a cycle is a choice.

It sounds like you have some severe depression and anxiety and don’t feel like you have a way out. We want to help or we want to direct you to someone who can help.

You don’t want to use medications? That’s fine, as long as you can address the problem in another way. I believe the right therapist would help you. It doesn’t necessarily lead to medication.

Medication, for that matter, doesn’t necessarily lead to the psych ward. That feeling is your depression fighting for survival, like a parasite. At the core, you need to be a problem solver. Keeping your struggles and living with them isn’t helping you. They lie about the difficulty in solving them, the same way they lie about the benefits of ending them.
I wouldn't put it any better.
As for anxiety, depression and, in my case, also withdrawal from society, I admit that medications helped me a lot.
I wish I had started therapy sooner.
However, being AB / DL is not a disease, quite the contrary. These are the words of a professional psychotherapist.
Diapers help fight stress and can be part of a healthy and happy life.
 
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ReluctantAdult

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Allebasi said:
Let's leave it that way. Maybe I shouldn't be here on this forum site. Can you delete my username from this site and close my account? Please find a way to do that!
I think this is a good place to be for your struggles. We are here to support each other. Most of us are adults that choose to or need to wear diapers and have had similar struggles. I wish my 19 year-old self would have found a forum like this. The internet showed me that there were others that desired diapers like me, but among that there was a lot of creepy things that contributed to my binge and purge cycles. This board has been a huge help for me in accepting myself as one who likes to wear diapers.
 
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