Does anyone have advice for reaching out to people online about abdl

PyreheartWolf

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Recently I've tried to get in touch with a mommy to try and live out some of my abdl fantasies. I've tried Instagram and reddit and been scammed multiple times, I'm at the point now where I'm honestly terrified to talk to anyone about it. They either ask for money as "tribute" or "one time payment " and it ends up being a scam or they come on super strong, I had one woman ask me genuinely if I'd like to move in with her and be her baby 24/7. I'm a disabled individual and I have to be super careful about moving in with anyone period because I could be easily taken advantage of, why would I add to that risk by making myself completely dependent on that person for everything. I'm convinced this person wasn't a bot or a scammer because when I explained that wasn't what I wanted they left me alone and didn't bother me but, I'm shocked I was asked that by complete stranger in the first place. I've lost a bit of money doing this so I'm kind of scared now but, I'd still like to make this happen someday. For now, I'd just like to make some friends who share my interests, does anyone have any advice on how to separate real good people from the fakes, creeps and scammers?
 
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Hi kiddo.

Sorry you got scammed.

It goes to show how careful we need to be. I also have had people on fetlife try and dominate me. But they soon disappear when changed. And some did want to take control of my finances, because I'm to Little to handle money!

Boy can I be a brat when I want to be. And seeing how long I can string them along is great just for me to say hum actually na biys.

Hopefully it stops them with messing with us Littles, just because we like being looked after dosent mean we not the one in control, because we are.

However something I will say is that we need to be clear about what we what to get out of the relationships we developed and be will to listen to the other person as well, good health relationship are built on respect and trust.

Anyway I hope that is helpful to you and you will find someone to share your life with.

Hugs
 
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siysiy said:
Hi kiddo.

Sorry you got scammed.

It goes to show how careful we need to be. I also have had people on fetlife try and dominate me. But they soon disappear when changed. And some did want to take control of my finances, because I'm to Little to handle money!

Boy can I be a brat when I want to be. And seeing how long I can string them along is great just for me to say hum actually na biys.

Hopefully it stops them with messing with us Littles, just because we like being looked after dosent mean we not the one in control, because we are.

However something I will say is that we need to be clear about what we what to get out of the relationships we developed and be will to listen to the other person as well, good health relationship are built on respect and trust.

Anyway I hope that is helpful to you and you will find someone to share your life with.

Hugs
Thanks for responding, I haven't given up searching, it's just disheartening and scary dealing so many scammers, good on you for wasting their time. I definitely agree with you, honest communication is extremely important in relationships and even more so with ABDL or even D/S relationships because there's so much vulnerability that's being displayed. It's nice to know it's not just me dealing with this kinda stuff, are there any immediate red flags for scammers that you've noticed?
 
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PyreheartWolf said:
are there any immediate red flags for scammers that you've noticed?
They try to be dominant from the start,
They don't seem to have read my profile,
they think I am into being spanked of some kind of BDSM.
and they like to talk about their needs and wants.

sometimes it is best to say No from the start. However, sometimes playing with them can be fun, and mean, but fun and they should mess with us Littles in the first place.

What a lot of people do when they want to insert their dominance is ask questions, that are designed to make you explain yourself. if you feel uncomfortable with that. the trick I have learnt is to take their dominance away by answering their question with a question. for example "Why do you need to know?" or "What makes you ask that?" make sure that it is an open question so they can not answer with Yes or No.

They will try and insert dominants by telling me what they want me to do, something along the lines of "My name is Master and you will address me as such." my follow-on from that could be., "Why do you want me to call you Master? Then follow their answers with "Why?" "But Why?" "yea But WHY! thought?" once I push that as far as I think I should go I will ask them something that is on their profile. and follow it up with. "Why?"

Yea, I know I am a BRAT!

hee, hee
 
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siysiy said:
They try to be dominant from the start,
They don't seem to have read my profile,
they think I am into being spanked of some kind of BDSM.
and they like to talk about their needs and wants.

sometimes it is best to say No from the start. However, sometimes playing with them can be fun, and mean, but fun and they should mess with us Littles in the first place.

What a lot of people do when they want to insert their dominance is ask questions, that are designed to make you explain yourself. if you feel uncomfortable with that. the trick I have learnt is to take their dominance away by answering their question with a question. for example "Why do you need to know?" or "What makes you ask that?" make sure that it is an open question so they can not answer with Yes or No.

They will try and insert dominants by telling me what they want me to do, something along the lines of "My name is Master and you will address me as such." my follow-on from that could be., "Why do you want me to call you Master? Then follow their answers with "Why?" "But Why?" "yea But WHY! thought?" once I push that as far as I think I should go I will ask them something that is on their profile. and follow it up with. "Why?"

Yea, I know I am a BRAT!

hee, hee
Thanks for the tip, I'll try that out next time I go looking for a mommy. The one thing I've learned from this experience is the importance of information security and being very careful about who I trust online.
 
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Just be part of the community and try to meet people naturally and let things run their course. Hunting specifically for a mommy for hire on those kinds of sites is like trying to find a wife and soul mate on the Vegas strip.
 
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To quote Niles from Frasier, "Run fast, run far".

You stand a lot to lose: you stand to lose money; you stand to lose your security via blackmail; you stand to lose your reputation because one dip into your finances is never enough for them; you stand to lose your dignity when they can't get more of you and thus expose you...and...you stand to lose your privacy.

Or, say, you do move out and then in with this 'Mommy'...you could be deserted at your destination, or worse: waylaid. And they gamble you won't rat on them because to do so would out you & be on a police report...and when you go back, if you were living in disabled housing for which you waited years on a list and left, it won't be there waiting for you...you'll have to start all over & live in shared housing, forced to repress your way of life to exist among strangers...or family/friends. You'll be truly naked to fate and the one who cheated you will stay fat & happy in their home, with your money...and your dignity on the end of their string.

carrot-and-stick.jpg

The best things you can do:
  1. Don't feed them. At all. Once you do, it snowballs and never stops;
  2. Break it off 100%. Change every password & account of yours to which they did get access;
  3. Report the user, if they dealt with you here, Moo & Crew will deal with it firmly, and;
  4. Make friends here. Talk. We'll talk with you. Some here have been through your dilemma themselves and they'll educate you. We're a community here...recovery from your dilemma is one of the reasons we're here.
You're in the right place here. The 'mommies'? They'll never extend to you the same camaraderie. If they can ruin you...they will. They want what you have, not you. They deserve neither.

This has been a BSE PSA. QED. HWC. LL&P. EIEIO... 🥳
 
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PyreheartWolf said:
Recently I've tried to get in touch with a mommy to try and live out some of my abdl fantasies. I've tried Instagram and reddit and been scammed multiple times, I'm at the point now where I'm honestly terrified to talk to anyone about it. They either ask for money as "tribute" or "one time payment " and it ends up being a scam or they come on super strong, I had one woman ask me genuinely if I'd like to move in with her and be her baby 24/7. I'm a disabled individual and I have to be super careful about moving in with anyone period because I could be easily taken advantage of, why would I add to that risk by making myself completely dependent on that person for everything. I'm convinced this person wasn't a bot or a scammer because when I explained that wasn't what I wanted they left me alone and didn't bother me but, I'm shocked I was asked that by complete stranger in the first place. I've lost a bit of money doing this so I'm kind of scared now but, I'd still like to make this happen someday. For now, I'd just like to make some friends who share my interests, does anyone have any advice on how to separate real good people from the fakes, creeps and scammers?
Just last night I began a chat with a mommy that is supposedly based in my town. I'm very cautious about this but hope it works out. I will know in a few days if she is trying to scam me or not. I learned of her on ABDL match site. She reached out to me "because I was local." I'm 61 and have never experienced anything like this.
 
babyscotty37 said:
Just last night I began a chat with a mommy that is supposedly based in my town. I'm very cautious about this but hope it works out. I will know in a few days if she is trying to scam me or not. I learned of her on ABDL match site. She reached out to me "because I was local." I'm 61 and have never experienced anything like this.
I said it before, I'll say it again: run.
 
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PyreheartWolf said:
Recently I've tried to get in touch with a mommy to try and live out some of my abdl fantasies. I've tried Instagram and reddit and been scammed multiple times, I'm at the point now where I'm honestly terrified to talk to anyone about it. They either ask for money as "tribute" or "one time payment " and it ends up being a scam or they come on super strong, I had one woman ask me genuinely if I'd like to move in with her and be her baby 24/7. I'm a disabled individual and I have to be super careful about moving in with anyone period because I could be easily taken advantage of, why would I add to that risk by making myself completely dependent on that person for everything. I'm convinced this person wasn't a bot or a scammer because when I explained that wasn't what I wanted they left me alone and didn't bother me but, I'm shocked I was asked that by complete stranger in the first place. I've lost a bit of money doing this so I'm kind of scared now but, I'd still like to make this happen someday. For now, I'd just like to make some friends who share my interests, does anyone have any advice on how to separate real good people from the fakes, creeps and scammers?
Well, you're not doing so badly. You've recognised the WRONG sorts of people. Now you just need to make it plain what sort of people you'll chooses as friends ONLINE. I wouldn't mind having a 'mummy' here and would do just as I was told - but not offline - apart from my real mummy.
If you're lucky, and careful, you can have an online mummy here and they'll tell you how to be good and, maybe what to wear...... ? OH, one more thing. Don't Pay!!
 
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BobbiSueEllen said:
To quote Niles from Frasier, "Run fast, run far".

You stand a lot to lose: you stand to lose money; you stand to lose your security via blackmail; you stand to lose your reputation because one dip into your finances is never enough for them; you stand to lose your dignity when they can't get more of you and thus expose you...and...you stand to lose your privacy.

Or, say, you do move out and then in with this 'Mommy'...you could be deserted at your destination, or worse: waylaid. And they gamble you won't rat on them because to do so would out you & be on a police report...and when you go back, if you were living in disabled housing for which you waited years on a list and left, it won't be there waiting for you...you'll have to start all over & live in shared housing, forced to repress your way of life to exist among strangers...or family/friends. You'll be truly naked to fate and the one who cheated you will stay fat & happy in their home, with your money...and your dignity on the end of their string.


The best things you can do:
  1. Don't feed them. At all. Once you do, it snowballs and never stops;
  2. Break it off 100%. Change every password & account of yours to which they did get access;
  3. Report the user, if they dealt with you here, Moo & Crew will deal with it firmly, and;
  4. Make friends here. Talk. We'll talk with you. Some here have been through your dilemma themselves and they'll educate you. We're a community here...recovery from your dilemma is one of the reasons we're here.
You're in the right place here. The 'mommies'? They'll never extend to you the same camaraderie. If they can ruin you...they will. They want what you have, not you. They deserve neither.

This has been a BSE PSA. QED. HWC. LL&P. EIEIO... 🥳
Thanks, your reply was quite detailed and well put. Unfortunately it wasn't here, it was Instagram and reddit. I've sworn off Instagram now, I don't care how cute the pics are, I'm never going back ever, not even if they (meta) pay me haha. Reddit is a different story, I've deleted that particular account and will be staying far, far away from the personals subreddits but, I cant swear off it forever. I will however take your advice and change all my passwords just to be sure I'm safe, thanks for the advice. I would never move in with a random stranger who says they want to be my mommy, and I definitely wouldn't move to a different country to do so, I was merry shocked and frightened that a random stranger would propose such a things, it's been several weeks and I still can't believe that happened, it's insane to even think about.
 
NappiedBaby said:
Well, you're not doing so badly. You've recognised the WRONG sorts of people. Now you just need to make it plain what sort of people you'll chooses as friends ONLINE. I wouldn't mind having a 'mummy' here and would do just as I was told - but not offline - apart from my real mummy.
If you're lucky, and careful, you can have an online mummy here and they'll tell you how to be good and, maybe what to wear...... ? OH, one more thing. Don't Pay!!
Thanks, maybe looking on here is a good idea, at the very least this seems to be safer than anywhere else I've been recently that's for sure 😄 And don't worry, I have more than learned my lesson when it comes to paying random strangers on the internet for a pretend relationship based on lies and BS. Won't be making that mistake again.
 
Thanks for replying everybody, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that's been wronged this way, as much as it sucks that this has happened to me and others in the past and will probably continue in the future. It's nice to know, I'm not alone. 😁
 
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Well there’s Mommy Madeline in Chicago that I’ve been looking at since I was a kid but I know it’ll never happen for me, but I think you would benefit from it more than me I’ve looked over this website dozens if not thousands of times growing up I would always read the pages & fill out the form for fun but never go through with it (BTW if she is reading this I hope you accept my choice of not going I like to keep this part of my life quite & doing something like that without explanation would cause a lot of suspicion from where I live, small town word travels fast along with something out of the normal routine) she is a wonderful mommy & if you do choose to go someday please enjoy my fair share for me would you? https://www.mommymadeline.com/
 
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Diaperboy27 said:
Well there’s Mommy Madeline in Chicago that I’ve been looking at since I was a kid but I know it’ll never happen for me, but I think you would benefit from it more than me I’ve looked over this website dozens if not thousands of times growing up I would always read the pages & fill out the form for fun but never go through with it (BTW if she is reading this I hope you accept my choice of not going I like to keep this part of my life quite & doing something like that without explanation would cause a lot of suspicion from where I live, small town word travels fast along with something out of the normal routine) she is a wonderful mommy & if you do choose to go someday please enjoy my fair share for me would you? https://www.mommymadeline.com/
Hey thanks for sharing, I'm definitely gonna look into that, it might not be in the cards for me this year but, perhaps next year. If and when I do go, I'll share my experience with you on here when I get back.
 
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PyreheartWolf said:
Hey thanks for sharing, I'm definitely gonna look into that, it might not be in the cards for me this year but, perhaps next year. If and when I do go, I'll share my experience with you on here when I get back.
Thank you I hope you have a good time when you do 😊
 
PyreheartWolf said:
Thanks, your reply was quite detailed and well put. Unfortunately it wasn't here, it was Instagram and reddit
Okay, but if it happens here--and itvhas--report it to the mods. Super-important!

PyreheartWolf said:
I've sworn off Instagram now, I don't care how cute the pics are, I'm never going back ever, not even if they (meta) pay me haha. Reddit is a different story, I've deleted that particular account and will be staying far, far away from the personals subreddits but, I cant swear off it forever.
Good. Nothing but trouble there.

PyreheartWolf said:
I will however take your advice and change all my passwords just to be sure I'm safe, thanks for the advice. I would never move in with a random stranger who says they want to be my mommy, and I definitely wouldn't move to a different country to do so, I was merry shocked and frightened that a random stranger would propose such a things, it's been several weeks and I still can't believe that happened, it's insane to even think about.
Good show. We get a few members here who find themselves in the same dilemma so we let 'em talk and counsel them on what to do. You're on the best track possible! 🥳
 
siysiy said:
They try to be dominant from the start,
They don't seem to have read my profile,
they think I am into being spanked of some kind of BDSM.
and they like to talk about their needs and wants.

sometimes it is best to say No from the start. However, sometimes playing with them can be fun, and mean, but fun and they should mess with us Littles in the first place.

What a lot of people do when they want to insert their dominance is ask questions, that are designed to make you explain yourself. if you feel uncomfortable with that. the trick I have learnt is to take their dominance away by answering their question with a question. for example "Why do you need to know?" or "What makes you ask that?" make sure that it is an open question so they can not answer with Yes or No.

They will try and insert dominants by telling me what they want me to do, something along the lines of "My name is Master and you will address me as such." my follow-on from that could be., "Why do you want me to call you Master? Then follow their answers with "Why?" "But Why?" "yea But WHY! thought?" once I push that as far as I think I should go I will ask them something that is on their profile. and follow it up with. "Why?"

Yea, I know I am a BRAT!

hee, hee
Please read it somewhat hurt typing this

I know this pain however I’ve been catfished the creepy part is he had everything to match it up I went through one hell of a fucking rollercoaster not doubting anything because I was suicidal thinking it was a gift honestly thinking back I just realise how pathetic I was to believe it.

Anyway we talk for months and it wasn’t sexual or weird but the creepy ass part he lied about everything I knew about him he literally created a world of people and fabricated an entire life with imaginary people but talked about them so vividly it never spooked me or made me question.

As the weeks go by he fabricates an assault from his dad (his exit strategy) the following days he fabricates symptoms of a stroke/bleed on the brain to the very details of type slurring, passing out not knowing where he was and how he got there et cetra and I truly believed it. Of course he was type slurring with me at 1am talking about how he was drifting in and out of consciousness and I say I’m calling an ambulance.

At the same time supposedly his friend (Sophie) comes on the phone and plays with my emotions saying he’s in a coma and that the doctors say he can’t be filmed (the first red flag) christ it goes so in depth to how stupid I was it just makes me lose the will to live.

Anyway couple weeks later I do some reverse searching and some not so legal things to get behind everything (from my days in prevent) I know fucking ironic right the universe was just laughing at me. Anyway I presented him with the evidence and yeah…

Nothing has fucked me up more than that it’s genuinely broken me and I’ve not spoken about it since it’s ruined my joy in little space and my self dignity it’s all so much more in depth and fucked than I’ve typed but for the sake of whatever’s left of my sanity I’ve kept it short.

I will remain solo now probably until I die as my soul has been diminished I was broken over the fakest thing to ever happen in my life led to believe he was dying… I’m going to remain solo not by choice but by the fact I’m now so broken I don’t think I’ll ever come back from it. As for how I move on from something like that? I don’t honestly I don’t see a way back my mind is just clouded with bad thoughts which to me don’t feel so bad anymore.
 
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My only advice is to keep your hopes high and your expectations low.

I’ve met a lot of ABDL’s in person, but I’ve probably had twice as many flake.
 
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Str88jacketabdl said:
My only advice is to keep your hopes high and your expectations low.

I’ve met a lot of ABDL’s in person, but I’ve probably had twice as many flake.

How did you go about meeting the good ones? I’d love to know because for me such a person has yet to exist.
 
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