Does anyone feel they can't pursue a certain career because of ABDL?

[LittleMissPink]

I say this with specifically AB in mind. Jobs affected in particular are; Preschool teacher, Primary (Elementary) school teacher, HS teacher or community careers like being a pubic figure type e.g. politician.

I myself have considered being a teacher before as I like helping people and enjoyed some work placement I did years back at several primary schools. This isn't my only career option as I am still undecided but I feel a heavy stigma against going into that field because of the backlash that would come should my ABDL side get revealed.

For example, let's say I date a girl for six months and I thought she would be accepting of my ABDL side. But I misread. She freaks out and starts blabbing to my workplace calling me the disgusting P-word. That would be career crushing. A woman in this situation might have a slightly better chance at saving her job but I am a man so yeah I am screwed for sure. Men and children don't mix generally already (in societal acceptance) so then throwing in ABDL, well that just lights the whole thing on fire.

It angers me that society holds that kind of power. I would have done nothing wrong, nothing illegal but because of some stupid ignorant people I would be defamed and definitely let go in that situation just to appease those pitchfork monsters. This makes me very hesitant to want to work anywhere near children because of something like that happening.

What do you all think? Do any of you work in these fields? Should I even bother going that route if a slight misread in telling someone could lead to my total career combustion?

Even men who aren't ABDL get unfairly discriminated against. Have a read of this article: http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/l...her-was-my-dream--until-i-was-falsely-accused
"They questioned the child with leading questions to get him to single out two teachers - myself and a female teacher - but only I was suspended and questioned by police....After about an hour of questioning, police came to the conclusion that there was no evidence to support the claims made by the child's parents. "

 

[KitsuneFox]

"Normies" will never accept ABDL , and tend to falsely accuse us of being pedophiles .

Just being medically incontinent is a reason enough for a large number of ignorant #### people to harass and ostracized us. Yes, there are many MANY career options that I am not able pursue do to being medically incontinent - if any of my co-workers ever found out, I'd be harasses because I am forced to wear high capacity diapers at all times.

 

[DylanLewis]

I say this with specifically AB in mind. Jobs affected in particular are; Preschool teacher, Primary (Elementary) school teacher, HS teacher or community careers like being a pubic figure type e.g. politician.

I myself have considered being a teacher before as I like helping people and enjoyed some work placement I did years back at several primary schools. This isn't my only career option as I am still undecided but I feel a heavy stigma against going into that field because of the backlash that would come should my ABDL side get revealed.

For example, let's say I date a girl for six months and I thought she would be accepting of my ABDL side. But I misread. She freaks out and starts blabbing to my workplace calling me the disgusting P-word. That would be career crushing. A woman in this situation might have a slightly better chance at saving her job but I am a man so yeah I am screwed for sure. Men and children don't mix generally already (in societal acceptance) so then throwing in ABDL, well that just lights the whole thing on fire.

It angers me that society holds that kind of power. I would have done nothing wrong, nothing illegal but because of some stupid ignorant people I would be defamed and definitely let go in that situation just to appease those pitchfork monsters. This makes me very hesitant to want to work anywhere near children because of something like that happening.

What do you all think? Do any of you work in these fields? Should I even bother going that route if a slight misread in telling someone could lead to my total career combustion?

Even men who aren't ABDL get unfairly discriminated against. Have a read of this article: http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/l...her-was-my-dream--until-i-was-falsely-accused
"They questioned the child with leading questions to get him to single out two teachers - myself and a female teacher - but only I was suspended and questioned by police....After about an hour of questioning, police came to the conclusion that there was no evidence to support the claims made by the child's parents. "

SweetPrincess
Your query was about the difficulties in being ABDL and being in a licensed profession, particularly one with duty of care responsibilities (notably with children), or in a publicly visible position of authority.

Before my retirement I worked in a senior position in the public sector, and in an organization with responsibilities for the licencing of organizations and professionals with duty of care responsibilities with children. During that time the only people who ever knew I was ABDL were my wife of many years, and my therapists. That was the only way I could be sure of safeguarding myself, and the public duties and functions of the organizations that I worked for.

In terms of the actual licensing of professionals, to the best of my understanding investigations into allegations or reports of conduct that might be problematic were scrupulously exact and fair. I was never aware of any matter related to someone being ABDL, but to the best of my understanding that alone would not have triggered any formal sanction. That's no guarantee, just my understanding in one jurisdiction.

The greater problem is public misunderstanding of ABDL and the fact that it might be confused in people's minds with pedophilia or mental instability. Any employer would be in a difficult position if it became known that one of their licensed professionals with duty of care responsibilities for children was ABDL. They would be under an onus to be seen to uphold their duty of care responsibilities, perhaps even at the risk of infringing the interests or rights of that employee. Some employers might come down on one side of that dilemma, another employer might come down on another side.

Even though being ABDL would not technically have broken any rules, it would have been very difficult, perhaps untenable, for me to discharge my duties in a publicly visible senior position. How could a member of staff or an external person or organization accept an adverse decision from me without questioning my standing? It would have placed my agency in an impossible dilemma. I suspect it would not have ended well for my career.

Frankly, I was paranoid about disclosure when I was employed, and relieved to retire with all my responsibilities honoured.

A career in the service of the public good is one of the most rewarding things you can do with your life. I never regretted my career, notwithstanding the extra risk from my personal identity. I would commend such a career to anyone with a commitment to the public good.

My advice if you want a career as a licensed professional with duty of care responsibilities with children, or a career in a publicly visible senior position, is to keep your identity as an ABDL absolutely secret. It certainly helps if you are in a stable long term relationship with someone who will honour that confidentiality. That might be too much caution, but that would be the way I would go.

Regards. Dylan.

 

[DippyDawg]

Another thing to consider when seeking/starting a particular career is the possibility of being triggered while on the job. While some of us could probably deal with it and fight it as it happens, the rest of us couldn't. I just don't need another psychological issue to deal with, thank you very much.

 

[Katie2fingers]

I guess my job is helping and supporting AB's here

 

[Deleted member 40705]

I wanted to be a professional ballet dancer, but as I’m diaper dependant for IC issues, I’d never be able to wear a leotard/tights without it being very very obvious that I’m wearing a nappy!

 

[CookieMonstah]

You can be a teacher, I am planning on becoming an early years (0-5) teacher.

 

[ChocChip]

Yeah, there’s no law against being ABDL and doing a certain job, but the risk of being “outed” and misunderstood is bigger in a scenario where you work with young or vulnerable people.

Of course, wearing nappies (unless you need them for medical reasons) or other ABDL items on the job would have to be avoided completely.

 

[rosaliebent]

Dylan Lewis' response was great (hi Dylan!). The truth is tho that being outed as ABDL would affect most careers and more because of the general societal stupidity regarding it. A school teacher would be most vulnerable, but so would most other people. The only way is to be very private about this and not noise it about everywhere. I worry about some young people with their photos online wearing diapers and how this will affect them in the years to come. You think if you ever want to stand for any public office that they won't come back to haunt you?

It is exceedingly unfair that you can be a public drunk and people will understand, but if you are an upstanding person of impeccable integrity but wear nappies and dress as a baby at home them you will be vilified.

You need to play it safe.

 

[LittleMissPink]

My advice if you want a career as a licensed professional with duty of care responsibilities with children, or a career in a publicly visible senior position, is to keep your identity as an ABDL absolutely secret. It certainly helps if you are in a stable long term relationship with someone who will honour that confidentiality. That might be too much caution, but that would be the way I would go.

Thanks Dylan for your advice. It's sad that you had to go through so much anxiety that you felt 'relieved' when you retired. It shouldn't matter, we shouldn't have to feel like that.

Of course, wearing nappies (unless you need them for medical reasons) or other ABDL items on the job would have to be avoided completely.

Of course, I wouldn't wear on the job that would just distract me from doing me job anyway.

You can be a teacher, I am planning on becoming an early years (0-5) teacher.

That's great to hear. We need more men in these fields even more so than any other teaching field. Society needs to learn to trust men with children more and I hope people like you can be that change. For example, I've had a women come up to me (working in retail) and try to tell me that a certain man isn't the father of a child only to be found out that hey, the child knows the man because he is the father and the customer is just way too bloody paranoid. Go on reddit and you'll find many fathers experiencing the same situation to the point that they won't go anywhere alone in public with their kids because of it.

I've also read a lot of discrimination against men in preschool in particular - Men aren't allowed to change nappies (though getting out of changing nappies sounds good, the reason for it it isn't), can't hug kids or touch them at all but women can etc. I hope you find a preschool that actually let's you do your job and not police patrol you like you could turn into a pedo at a moments notice.

I've deviated a bit from the original topic but entering these industries as a man being an average vanilla person is hard enough but if you're ABDL it just doubles the amount of stress. I don't particularly want to wait to retirement to feel 'relieved' I made it through without detection either. No idea what I'll do with me life, I've got a few other ideas I might try first.

 

[rosaliebent]

Thanks Dylan for your advice. It's sad that you had to go through so much anxiety that you felt 'relieved' when you retired. It shouldn't matter, we shouldn't have to feel like that.


Of course, I wouldn't wear on the job that would just distract me from doing me job anyway.


That's great to hear. We need more men in these fields even more so than any other teaching field. Society needs to learn to trust men with children more and I hope people like you can be that change. For example, I've had a women come up to me (working in retail) and try to tell me that a certain man isn't the father of a child only to be found out that hey, the child knows the man because he is the father and the customer is just way too bloody paranoid. Go on reddit and you'll find many fathers experiencing the same situation to the point that they won't go anywhere alone in public with their kids because of it.

I've also read a lot of discrimination against men in preschool in particular - Men aren't allowed to change nappies (though getting out of changing nappies sounds good, the reason for it it isn't), can't hug kids or touch them at all but women can etc. I hope you find a preschool that actually let's you do your job and not police patrol you like you could turn into a pedo at a moments notice.

I've deviated a bit from the original topic but entering these industries as a man being an average vanilla person is hard enough but if you're ABDL it just doubles the amount of stress. I don't particularly want to wait to retirement to feel 'relieved' I made it through without detection either. No idea what I'll do with me life, I've got a few other ideas I might try first.

And the irony is that you see almost as many women charged with sexually abusing children as men. The idea that men are more likely to be paedophile than women is true, but not by a particularly large margin and the surprise is that women tend to be crueler to small children than men

 

[LittleJames97]

You still can work at a school. I work at a middle school in my city as a cafeteria helper. As long as you being professional at work.

 

[CodyBaby]

I wanted to be a daycare worker (can't remember exact title in english) but after thinking seriously about it, I decided not to do it, I would be fine with 2-3 kids or toddlers or babies, but having to care for 8 would be too much for me, my brother does it and loves his job a lot and he is more a DL than AB and I freak out to think what would happen if he gets discovered and exposed, that kind of thing would make people think he's a pedo of some kind for sure.

 

[ykdprdave]

I guess it all depends on how you looks at it. There’s definitely some types of jobs that would most definitely disapprove of your extra curricular activities. Of course nothing wrong with wearing a diaper and all, since it could be medical, but if they knew it was abdl related I think you’d be looking for another job soon lol

short of working with children, I think that’s pretty much the extent of employer limitations. As far as personal limitations, that’s all on you and your comfort level. I go to work diapered pretty much every day, but I don’t let it be a hinderance. If I’m going to be doing something one day that wearing a diaper may impact my ability to do the job, I’ll Go without

 

[rosaliebent]

I guess it all depends on how you looks at it. There’s definitely some types of jobs that would most definitely disapprove of your extra curricular activities. Of course nothing wrong with wearing a diaper and all, since it could be medical, but if they knew it was abdl related I think you’d be looking for another job soon lol

short of working with children, I think that’s pretty much the extent of employer limitations. As far as personal limitations, that’s all on you and your comfort level. I go to work diapered pretty much every day, but I don’t let it be a hinderance. If I’m going to be doing something one day that wearing a diaper may impact my ability to do the job, I’ll Go without

But even working with kids should be unaffected. No one can tell and so if somehow you are discovered, why should it matter? It does of course and that's the problem because the assumption is that if you are wearing a diaper you are pedo or something. What about a man wearing women's underwear? does the same argument still apply?

 

[BigKid25]

I live in California, and while most people would still be pretty misunderstanding and wary of an ABDL guy in general, there is a lot of sex education going around where people are aware that ABDL is typically just a kink. In which case, it is of the utmost importance that you keep it away from your job.

I'm pursuing public education now. Am I concerned about whether I'm outed or not? Of course. But I don't let that fear ruin my life because I 100% trust myself to keep that aspect far away from my job. I wasn't hired because I'm an ABDL. I was hired because I love teaching kids and making a positive impact on their lives.

I have spent 17 years in the Scouting program with no Scouters discovering my ABDL side, including the young adults who I'm familiar with and talk to online. Wouldn't they be the most likely people to find me? I am an adult with very normal life aspirations, goals and experiences with some private parts to my life as well. I focus on things that connect me to other people, not the private things which remain private. I work 30 minutes away from home and keep my professional life professional. Have boundaries and you'll be fine.

 

[KCA]

I've also read a lot of discrimination against men in preschool in particular - Men aren't allowed to change nappies (though getting out of changing nappies sounds good, the reason for it it isn't), can't hug kids or touch them at all but women can etc. I hope you find a preschool that actually let's you do your job and not police patrol you like you could turn into a pedo at a moments notice.

This is a legitimate concern. There was a recent newspaper interview with the person in charge of censoring the internet in Australia the e-safety commissioner, where she talks about one of her daughters's daycare workers being a man, and how she would carefully check everything when changing her daughter's nappy at home. This is a person who presumably knows what real child abuse looks like being happy to besmirch any man in a caring role.

 

[CookieMonstah]

Thanks Dylan for your advice. It's sad that you had to go through so much anxiety that you felt 'relieved' when you retired. It shouldn't matter, we shouldn't have to feel like that.


Of course, I wouldn't wear on the job that would just distract me from doing me job anyway.


That's great to hear. We need more men in these fields even more so than any other teaching field. Society needs to learn to trust men with children more and I hope people like you can be that change. For example, I've had a women come up to me (working in retail) and try to tell me that a certain man isn't the father of a child only to be found out that hey, the child knows the man because he is the father and the customer is just way too bloody paranoid. Go on reddit and you'll find many fathers experiencing the same situation to the point that they won't go anywhere alone in public with their kids because of it.

I've also read a lot of discrimination against men in preschool in particular - Men aren't allowed to change nappies (though getting out of changing nappies sounds good, the reason for it it isn't), can't hug kids or touch them at all but women can etc. I hope you find a preschool that actually let's you do your job and not police patrol you like you could turn into a pedo at a moments notice.

I've deviated a bit from the original topic but entering these industries as a man being an average vanilla person is hard enough but if you're ABDL it just doubles the amount of stress. I don't particularly want to wait to retirement to feel 'relieved' I made it through without detection either. No idea what I'll do with me life, I've got a few other ideas I might try first.

My previous setting wouldn't let me change some children, female, due to some religious reasons but at my current position I can change anyone and I can hug children and do anything a female practitioner would do. There is still discrimination against men though, you're right, like I said, I've faced it. I am trying to change perceptions and be diverse.

 

[CookieMonstah]

This is a legitimate concern. There was a recent newspaper interview with the person in charge of censoring the internet in Australia the e-safety commissioner, where she talks about one of her daughters's daycare workers being a man, and how she would carefully check everything when changing her daughter's nappy at home. This is a person who presumably knows what real child abuse looks like being happy to besmirch any man in a caring role.

We are trained to look for signs of abuse so any person who changed a nappy would know what to do if they saw something, so for her to do it, is just stupid and insulting to males.

 

[sbmccue]

Years ago, one of my babysitters was a young lady who taught at the high school level.

She was always terribly afraid of anyone finding out what she was doing for extra income on weekends, although I was probably as paranoid on the subject as she.