does any else here just wish this desire would go away?

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timmywimmy

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i'm in my mid-forties now ... and I would happily settle for a vanilla sexuality. All this Ab stuff is just so complicatyed sometimes ...
 

Mesmerale

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I'm sure we all have at some point. Whether it be when something bad has happened, or when we feel it's more trouble than it's worth.

But it won't go away, so why bother worrying about it?
 
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Butterfly Mage

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I pretty much accept that this isn't going to go away. I do hope my next life will *not* have this particular feature, however.
 

Pramrider

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Same here, Butterfly Mage! With having such feelings for the past 50 years, they've stood the test of time. At this point in my life I doubt they'll ever go away. There were times in my teen/pre-teen years when I wish my thinking and desires were *normal*, that is, not having a strong attraction to baby/toddler items. By late teens and as an adult I just learned to accept and enjoy the pleasure derived from engaging in my brand of infantilism. For whatever reason(s) it developed in me, I realized it was a part of my personality that wasn't going to go away.

~Pramrider
 

cation

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My gf has told me I'm lucky to have something that makes me feel as relaxed as diapers do. Why would I want to be rid of something that is able to alleviate stress? Actually she joined the ranks of the diapered herself just lately. :2thumbsup:
 

PostTenebrasLux

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i'm in my mid-forties now ... and I would happily settle for a vanilla sexuality. All this Ab stuff is just so complicatyed sometimes ...
Yeah, me too. I'd like to be rid of it for good. However, it's been in the background lately for me; just not as appealing. All things ebb and flow, I suppose, but I don't feel any more 'vanilla' now that the AB/DL side of me is in low tide. I've been trying to think about why this set of desires has been absent recently--not sure I understand it.

But back to the original topic, I guess the way I see it right now is that even without this secret side of my personality, I'd still have some social miles to cover before 'normal' functioning could occur. That said, from what I've seen, the vanilla sexual lifestyle is still pretty complicated, and damn near everyone gets hurt at least once, no matter how normal.

Perhaps some of us are lucky that we've got an essentially harmless way to please and relax ourselves. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those lucky folks--for me, the AB/DL toys & activities don't do much for stress or loneliness.

I suppose it's mainly a detriment to my confidence, and an indirect barrier to intimate relationships. Looking back, I used to date a girl that probably would have been OK with it if I had the guts to tell her about it. Kink or no, I like the open-minded type. Getting rid of this side of me would be convenient, but I think it's not my first priority.
 

quattrus

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I'm not an AB myself but I can speak on the base of my DL desires, although they're probably easier to deal with and overall less invasive than *B feelings.

In my late teen years I used to wish they went away, and I tried a couple of times to stop - obviously without success - due to heavy purge phases. This was before I realized I wasn't the only person on earth with these feelings.

Now, it's a part of myself I absolutely love, and I'd never give up, because it makes myself more unique, and it makes my life more interesting, not to mention it has surely helped making myself a lot more open minded in general. I even stopped experiencing binge-purge cycles - sure, there are periods in which I'm more heavily into diapers than others, but this is mainly related to how busy I am and how much time I have for myself.

I can't deny I've felt the desire to be "normal" in the past, at least to see what it's like, but after having thought about it, why would I ever need to be something that already billions of people are, when I get the chance to be special and enjoy something that the majority of people wouldn't even understand?

Yeah, it's complicated, but simple things get to be so boring sometimes... and, then, once you've come to terms with it, it's nice to be among other people and know you're different, 'cause you have a sweet little secret they'd never imagine.
 
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I pretty much accept that this isn't going to go away. I do hope my next life will *not* have this particular feature, however.
This...pretty much. It's inconvenient, but that's a contingent fact of this universe where AB/DL isn't socially acceptable...
 

Fire2box

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i'm in my mid-forties now ... and I would happily settle for a vanilla sexuality. All this Ab stuff is just so complicatyed sometimes ...
It's only as complicated as you make it. You like diapers pacifiers and all that sort of stuff, so what move on.
 

ade

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Same here, Butterfly Mage! With having such feelings for the past 50 years, they've stood the test of time. At this point in my life I doubt they'll ever go away. There were times in my teen/pre-teen years when I wish my thinking and desires were *normal*, that is, not having a strong attraction to baby/toddler items. By late teens and as an adult I just learned to accept and enjoy the pleasure derived from engaging in my brand of infantilism. For whatever reason(s) it developed in me, I realized it was a part of my personality that wasn't going to go away.

~Pramrider
i agree with this. cripes! i can remember when i hoped it just a phase and couldn't wait to grow out of it.
still, the sense of there being a downside to it is still lurking.
 

dentedwheel

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I have been growing more and more disturbed from the comments made by many members about how this fetish has effected their lives negatively. It has been a part of my life as long as I can remember and I don't think it has changed me from the "normal". I interact with people every day. I am married and have a good job. I am not bragging, I guess I just don't understand how *B/DL can prevent you from functioning in society.

I understand that getting caught by your parents/spouse can turn things sour. That is not what I am saying. If I got caught, I'm sure life would be a little difficult for a while. When I think of it though, at least I am not ruining someone else's life (aka murderer, molester, etc) so getting caught would just require some explanations.

I guess this point of view makes my answer to the thread question "no". I don't want these feelings to go away.
 
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I'm not so much an AB as a DL, but regardless, I've thought before that I'd like these unusual urges to go away, but I've realized that these urges won't go away forever. I've gone maybe a month or two without so much thinking of diapers before, but the moment the word flutters into my head, be it randomly or when somebody mentions diapers, or even if I'm just trying to pick up a pack of Warheads from the pharmacy, and the aisle with the adult diapers catches my eye, the urge comes back with a vengeance, and I find myself either buying a package immediately or within the next few days.

As it would seem, this is just something that comes naturally to people like us. As different as the good majority of the people on sites like these are from one another, there's at least one thing that links us all together, and I'm sure most people would have a difficult time severing that link.

As it stands, diapers have yet to have a negative impact on my life, except for minor stress when buying them or trying to keep them hidden. I'm never really had any qualms about wearing them out in public, as I'm well aware that almost nobody, except people here maybe, ever think, "Is that guy wearing a diaper?"
 

PetPuppyAlex

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TBH, I love it and embrace it 100%. I don't know who I'd be without this fetish. I mean, I was reluctant to partake at first, but now, I love it so much. It makes me who I am. I wouldn't give it up for a million dollars. I couldn't give it up for a million dollars.
 

PetPuppyAlex

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I have been growing more and more disturbed from the comments made by many members about how this fetish has effected their lives negatively. It has been a part of my life as long as I can remember and I don't think it has changed me from the "normal". I interact with people every day. I am married and have a good job. I am not bragging, I guess I just don't understand how *B/DL can prevent you from functioning in society.

.
Agreed in full. :]
 
A

Asher

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Like similar members on this thread, I have grown to accept who I am. In my opinion, acceptance of oneself is one of the most important factor in living a good life.

At first, I always wanted to stop these feelings, but I realized that this is who I am, and that everything will be okay.

To timmywimmy, if you feel that you want to leave this "lifestyle", then feel free to do so. This is your life, and you have every right to do what suits you best. Just remember that self-acceptance is an important key in achieving a fulfilled life.

I wish you the best : )
 
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I feel that way from time to time. It does complicate my life, but since stopping it isn't really am option, I'll just make the best of it -the VERY best :)- and be happy.
 

ZombifiedKitty

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I honestly don't want to stop being an AB (lol NEVARRR!), it has helped me get through one of the worst times in my life and after embracing this lifestyle completely instead of just accepting it and not taking it any further I'm a lot happier. I haven't tried to hurt myself or felt overly depressed in a long time, I still have my normal mood spells but a bottle of warm milk and a blankie will cheer me up. Sure it complicates things but its easier to handle being in diapers all the time than out of control moods. I'm less stressed, and its pretty easy to think of myself as a baby instead and things get less complicated somehow. I'm sure I make it a bit more obvious to my friends that I'm an AB than most people but I doubt I'd be alive (or at least as healthy) today if I didn't have such a retreat. So my outlook is very positive and everyone around me is very supportive about me being a baby, even my therapist hehe.
 

Eulogy

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I've had that thought before, but meh, Fuck it, only got one life, so no need to spend time worrying about things we all know won't happen
 

NEJay

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TBH, I love it and embrace it 100%
I completely agree. The whole diaper thing just makes everything that much more interesting, and it's definitely a fun hobby. :)

I'm big on the social aspect... I've got plenty of friends that have no clue that I wear diapers occasionally, but in addition to that I have many close abdl friends that I've made along the way. It's pretty cool too because other diaper people come from all walks of life, and you get a chance to meet people you wouldn't normally have a chance to otherwise. I've gotten sidework and job offers through other abdl people before, and when we hang out, it's mostly what I do with my non-AB friends anyways.

Even when I was younger, I really had no diaper remorse. Everyone has that thing after they, uh... Get the job done, but that goes away with time and sexual maturity (and many have said this is a normal male hormone function, diapers or not). Accepting the fact that I was gay was a much more difficult issue growing up.

Only 18 posts in a week is a good sign. Years of personal accounts dictate that for most people, any type of "curing" isn't going to work. Some people suppress the feelings, but that doesn't make them go away. Why not make the best of what you've got? :)
 
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