Do you sometimes feel ashamed?.

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Lozza1979

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Hi folks.

Sometimes when I take a moment to reflect on myself I do question what I'm doing.I cant sometimes help think to myself "what the hell am I doing?".My father passed away in 2010 and my grandparents are dead and I think "what would they think if they could see me now in this wet nappy at 35?".Also what if my friends found out...they would never look at me the same way again, or even never speak to me again.But then saying that I don't know what my friends get up to when they think people aren't looking.

I have always known, even as a child, that I liked nappy's and wetting and often peed in my underpants on purpose in the bathroom even way before my teens.I guess its just part of who I am and what I like.I know that liking nappy's and wetting oneself is actually very common and its not hurting anybody.I'm not a bad person, I just have a bit of a 'thing' that I like to do.What I do in my own home is my business and I feel I have the right to be myself when I can, but sometimes I do feel a bit ashamed of myself.
 

Trevor

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Honestly, I don't. Sometimes I laugh at myself but it's a good-natured laugh. Humans are freaky critters and we wind up doing some odd things for personal satisfaction. This is just one of those and at this point, I am thankful to be okay with myself in that respect. That doesn't mean I want to advertise it but that's because it's private and personal rather than something awful. I've been working on being more comfortable sharing it with people who do enjoy it and that seems to me like a worthwhile effort.
 

kopykat

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I know what you mean I can change my mind one day to the next. And I get the same thing with thinking what if people could see me now what would they think! If it ever got out in my friend group I don't know what I would do. Most of them would be ok but there are a few people that pick on people every now and then so I know i would be a target for them. It's becoming easier the more I accept it.
 

Dan09

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Nah.

Perhaps if I was a alcoholic, drug-addict, crazy person. But honestly...at the end of the day, it's just a silly kink. A highly unusual, laugh-at-yourself-on-occasion one...but still, no big deal.

As long as you don't let it consume your entire life (like it has to a few, who apparently felt compelled to share their stupidness on TV) it's really no big deal.

As for myself, I'm surrounded by family and friends, have a roof over my head and am on the way to fulfilling a lifelong dream by becoming an officer in the US military after school. ABDL is just an afterthought, it's a part of who I am, and yet doesn't define me.

At the end of the day, it is what you make of it.
 

Waldo

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When I was younger I used to feel weird whenever I'd look up thing, or put a diaper on. As I got over I outgrew that feeling, and became more accepting & just didn't let it bother me. However, whenever I'm sitting around after wetting a diaper I just can't escape the feeling of "Why the F%#% am i wearing a wet diaper?" So I can understand where you're coming from.
 

dogboy

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Hi folks.

Sometimes when I take a moment to reflect on myself I do question what I'm doing.I cant sometimes help think to myself "what the hell am I doing?".My father passed away in 2010 and my grandparents are dead and I think "what would they think if they could see me now in this wet nappy at 35?".Also what if my friends found out...they would never look at me the same way again, or even never speak to me again.But then saying that I don't know what my friends get up to when they think people aren't looking.

I have always known, even as a child, that I liked nappy's and wetting and often peed in my underpants on purpose in the bathroom even way before my teens.I guess its just part of who I am and what I like.I know that liking nappy's and wetting oneself is actually very common and its not hurting anybody.I'm not a bad person, I just have a bit of a 'thing' that I like to do.What I do in my own home is my business and I feel I have the right to be myself when I can, but sometimes I do feel a bit ashamed of myself.

I'm a person of faith, and so I've had the same thought as you; what if people I really respected, and had earned their respect, could look in on me from the other side of death, and see me acting like a baby? I'm also a follower, or at least, a believer in John Edwards, the guy who reads the dead. From what I think the afterlife is about, I think they mostly attend to their own business on the other plain. Even if they could see us, they would be looking from a very different perspective.

Everyone has something that they aren't proud of. Like all the other responders have said, wearing and using diapers is a pretty small thing. It harms no one and it gives us some pleasure and a sense of peace. The world is a hectic, demanding, and sometimes violent place. We all cope in different ways. It's because the world is imperfect, that we probably have this specific strange little inclination. Somewhere in our development, something triggered this. It would be misplaced worry and concern to let it bother you.
 

ClandestineWing

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Sometimes after I wake from a dream or snap out of a fantasy, I chuckle and think to myself "Man... I just dreamed that... What the hell's the matter with me?" But it's not out of shame; it's more out of the acceptance that human beings have very unusual kinks. It's a fact of life that's easy to get a good-spirited laugh out of.
 

Andrewgdfw

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is there some religious dogma or allegiance that causes the shame you feel? a guilt-based religion can mess up an otherwise good thing, sadly.
 

ShAd0w10

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Ashamed? No, not really. I sometimes think that life would be a bit easier without all this, though.
 

MrHappy69

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Frankly, I have never felt any shame about my involvement in AB/DL ism - and this has been a part of my life for around 35 years! The reason is simply because it doesn't cause any harm to anyone. If an AB/DL (or any other permutation) feels a sense of guilt or shame because they imagine what their friends would think if they found out, then we should bare in mind Lozza1979's quite rational assertion that everyone - almost certainly everyone - has some secret which nobody else, or at least very few people, knows about.

I would like to think if people close to me, i.e. family and friends, ever found out about my secret desires (and I'm not absolutely certain that some of them don't have any niggling suspicions!) then I would like to think they would be mature and understanding enough not to condemn. If someone close to me felt they didn't want to know me as a result of finding out, then I would consider it their problem and not mine. It would not cause me undue anxiety or inclination to feel ashamed.

However, having dealt with the point of view where family and friends are concerned, there is a further thought to ponder, and one which I can easily envisage causing members of our community to feel ashamed: As we (AB/DLs) are becoming more active as an online community, it seems likely that the AB/DL world will eventually become better known (although not necessarily better accepted) in the wider community - very slowly of course. This means good news for those now growing up, in their early childhood or teenage years, who will hopefully not feel as lonely or isolated as some of us from an older generation felt in the days before the WWW.

Conversely, and unfortunately, it also means that the AB/DL world becomes better known to others who would react unfavourably: It takes just one talk-show host to pillory AB's to boost their audience figures, or a cheap stand-up comic to laugh at us, or a well-known media mogul or journalist to pour scorn on DL's, to invoke a dark cloud of shame on our community as a whole - we all know the ones - no names here - but all with an abiding sense of celebrity self-importance, exceptionally large twitter followings, etc., who would verbally crucify anyone who dared to even make the least critical remark concerning LGBTG's. There will always be those who will want to link such tendencies to more deviant or disturbing behaviour. Yes, we still have a long way to go!:dontgetit:

Incidentally, what is a guilt-based religion? Or which religion is not guilt-based?!! For the record I am a person of religious persuasion, which has never 'messed up an otherwise good thing' for me!!
 

Paxe

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I have always thought that some of the stigma associated with wearing nappies is a carry-over from the embarrassment, part learned and part innate, associated with toileting activities. Whereas certain kinks are purely sexual and can be justified by a vigorous imagination allied to strong sexual desires, nappy-wearing is unavoidably connected with urinating and defecating which makes it inherently distasteful for some people, including to an extent some of us who enjoy it.

Having long gotten over my childhood embarrassment about toileting, my reservations about wearing and using nappies in public faded along with that. If one behaves discreetly, decorously and hygienically, it inconveniences no-one else, so there is no negative social aspect to wearing about which to be ashamed. It makes me even a little proud that I have overcome any inhibitions and stigma to unlock myself from the narrow, prescriptive toileting methodology that many people feel obliged to adhere to. Just as my drivers license allows me to drive a wider range of vehicles than the average person, I have more choice, more convenience and more pleasure in dealing with bodily waste than the average person. It's a privilege we all share whenever we put our nappies on, just one that not many people have discovered or learned to take advantage of yet.
 
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Millbay

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Hi there
I do feel ashamed however I have started to learn to accept who I am and that there is nothing wrong with wearing diapers. Don't get me wrong the green eyed monster does raise its head. However reading other posts here is a great comfort and I push on through. I have been wearing for 24/7 for a number of weeks now and this has also helped.
 

cgh

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People are often ashamed of things that make them seem unusual. However, being a multimillionaire is unusual. Saving a life is unusual. Being the first person to stand on the moon is unusual. Just because something is unusual it doesn't mean it's bad or shameful.
 

koda42

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I do. As much as I'd like not to, I can't really help it. It's not as overwhelming as it used to be (I don't feel enough guilt to do the purge part of the binge/purge cycle anymore) but I still feel pretty ashamed for not having a "normal behavior".

I spend so much time thinking how things would have been easier without me being a ABDL : dating, hiding, lying, etc. that I still feel ashamed of being that way. At least, I'm not feeling guilty anymore, that's a start, right ?

Oh, and when I wear diapers, I avoid mirrors as well otherwise I feel ashamed AND silly :D
 

Gsmax

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Nope, not anymore. I pretty much dried up all the shame I had during my teenage years. Every guilty thought I've had about my fetish was in my teenage years, so if I look at myself in the mirror wearing a diaper and thinking to myself "What the hell am I doing wearing this!!?", I pretty much then remember that I've already had this conversation with myself and move on.
 

Paxe

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I look in the mirror and say: "Wow, aren't diapers just the coolest invention ever?" or "Molicares totally suit me!" or whatever. I'm not exactly vain but I do think I look better in disposables than vanilla flavour underwear. Nothing to be ashamed of at all.
 

Indianajones

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I do. As much as I'd like not to, I can't really help it. It's not as overwhelming as it used to be (I don't feel enough guilt to do the purge part of the binge/purge cycle anymore) but I still feel pretty ashamed for not having a "normal behavior".

I spend so much time thinking how things would have been easier without me being a ABDL : dating, hiding, lying, etc. that I still feel ashamed of being that way. At least, I'm not feeling guilty anymore, that's a start, right ?

Oh, and when I wear diapers, I avoid mirrors as well otherwise I feel ashamed AND silly :D

Same here. I basically feel shame every time I have a change. When I'm out of nappies, though, the shame goes, because I could reflect on it.
 

Leeb

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I guess I'm at the point where I am no longer ashamed about my desire to wear diapers. To get down to it, I'm tired of people telling me I have to like what they like, that I have to wear what they decide is appropriate. Where is my right to decide what I want to wear and what I find appropriate. If I want to pin a diaper on my behind and slip a pair of plastic pants over the diaper and wet and mess myself, who is really getting hurt? I'm the one that has to deal with the clean-ups.

I really enjoy wearing diapers. It gives me a sense of comfort and security that tidy-whities just can't do. I really don't mind wetting and messing because deep down inside of me there is this part of me that needs to unconditional love I never got as a child.
 
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