I've been wearing (out of necessity) since 2004 and the one consistent issue I've found with the "ultra absorbent" new diapers is that you'll never even come close to using the capacity they **MIGHT** offer without catastrophic leaks.
I pretty much pee like a hose left on when asleep as in it seems I'm constantly peeing. When I wear a Betterdry or NorthShore Supreme (my "normal" night time atire) with a Tranquility "Super Plus" contour booster pad I am essentially guaranteed I'll be able to sleep for 14, 16, 18 or even 20+ hours leak free. Without the booster (say I have to be up for a Dr appt and will sleep less than 10 hours) I'll wear a diaper alone as they're generally good for 6-10 hours unless I have a "bad" night. The diaper and booster NEED to be properly positioned and taped up correctly, but they will last me through really "bad nights" (when I'm "flaring", likely to sleep for a minimum of 12 to 14 hours and literally feeling like shit) and outside of some small damp spots on my reusable underpads, I rarely, IF EVER, experience catastrophic failure. I've been using this combination for nearly 4 years now but prior to Betterdry I used the old Molicare Super Plus with the same booster pad and that was an easy 15-16 hours trouble free with the Abena L4 immeasurably better, as in better but not by an hour...just a slight amount. I have little options on this front as I'm going to wind up alseep like this more than 2/3 of the time throughout the cool-cold weather months. The only time I don't have to stretch diapers to the max is when I am hospitalized as then there's nurses to change me every 8 hours though I bring my own diapers (hospital dips are USELESS and ought to be a ******* war crime!) and had to damn near beg they allow me to go the 8 hours (unless soiled) as the brands I wear will easily reach the 8 hour mark with room to spare EXCEPT when dehydrated and on continual IV fluids as then no diaper will last 4 hours it seems.
My "discreet" option for a long time was the European Tena "Active Fit" slip Maxi. Discreet yet safe for 3-4 hours without any leaks. I will wear a discreet diaper when I *USUALLY* have quick, frequent access to the men's room(s). Example....I go to a lot of AHL hockey games (Wilkes-Barre / Scranton Penguins) and so long as I'm physically able to move as well as I can hope for I will only wear a minimal pad as I can get to a bathroom there within 60 seconds (usually less as I have my seats where the disabled people have wheelchairs...I do not normally use a wheelchair but steps when not feeling well are an issue) and this location is literally feet from the 4 men's rooms around that arena. If I'm going to an NHL game forget it....the lines alone can take 20 minutes and it takes me minutes to go up the dozens of steps I'm usually stuck climbing. When you get veteran tickets for free, you can't be a chooser...you take whatever you can get to see games I otherwise could not afford to see. ***NOTE TO VETERANS: IF you're interested in potential free tickets to sporting events, concerts, plays etc contact me and I'll get you the info you need***
I've tried a LOT of these "super high capacity" diapers overnight and with the exception of the Megamax, they all leaked overnight! I definitively can state that once an area of the padding that contains large amounts of SAP gets wet, the ability of that spot to absorb more takes much more time than it would if that spot was dry. Well, when you have literally "rivers & streams" of pee unable to immediately absorb into the padding & SAP, it will flow to the lowest point possible and if that lowest point is on the side of your diaper, where the leak guards are glued to the padding etc,, that diaper is going to leak, period. I've even noticed this on the Megamax, just not as seriously as I have on the "others" I've tried.
I'm not going to name the diapers I "tested" but suffice it to say each had a minimum advertised capacity of 4500ml. Besides the significant leaks I also had several briefs/diapers "pop" at the seams and allow billions of SAP particles and some "fluffing" to wind up pretty much everywhere. Not all did this but all did leak overnight when my "normal" overnight combination almost never will. I've ensured everything was taped on properly, the diaper was "fluffed up", the leak guards were inspected and stood up etc. The problem all seems to be directly related to too much SAP in proportion to the amount of actual "fluff". My reason for not naming any names is that most of these were sent to me with the understanding I'd try them and send back highly detailed feedback to the sender(s) and that is private communication between the senders and end user, which in this particular case was me.
My last observation relates to the impracticality of many (not all) of these diapers that can damn near drain a bath tub. ANYONE who happens to glance at your mid section while wearing one of these is GOING TO INSTANTLY KNOW something is unusual. I'd make a bet that the vast majority can and will put 2 + 2 together in 2-3 seconds and realize you're wearing one hell of a THICK diaper.
I wear what are considered "thick" diapers when I'm going to be out (anywhere be that by myself or with family, friends, my sons etc) and may not have immediate and frequent bathroom access. In these events I'll be wearing either an Abena L4, Molicare Maxi (PE only though the price on Molicare has stopped me from purchasing over 2 years ago) & usually a Betterdry. Despite a thick diaper, no one has ever noticed and if they did they didn't say a thing. I have less to fear than many as my entire family, all of the medical professionals (dr's, Nurses, receptionists, pharmacists etc) as well as all of my close personal friends (over 20 people with ease) have known of my health issues and diapers for nearly 20 years now. I never go around flaunting them, wear plain "onesies" as they make anyone seeing anything outside of a t-shirt when my pants slip down or shirt rides up as that's exactly what they are....the fact they go around my crotch and snap together towards the front of my crotch is immaterial and no one else's business anyway. I tied the "discreet" options when this was new to me in 2004 and wound up "running" (as quickly as a man in agony using a walker possibly could) to my van when I realized my discreet diaper totally failed, there was a lake of pee at my feet and my pants were drenched! I left my shopping cart full of food and stuff where it stood and went straight home. I literally did NOT leave my house for anything other than Dr appts, hospitalizations, visits to my parents or inlaws for almost a year....I finally decided that I would not allow ANYTHING or ANYONE to dictate what I can or can't do myself in however long I had left on this Earth. At that time no one had a good handle on what was wrong with me, how I went from being amongst the strongest men on Earth (bench press over 500lbs, squat over 1000..all totally drug free....worked 50-60 hours week, coached football & HS wrestling, was raising my 2 very young sons, refinishing my house myself etc etc etc plus continued expanding my business and education to where I was literally unable to stand/walk 7 months later, was hiding the fact I'd been peeing everywhere when asleep and sometimes when awake...I was convinced I would be dead within weeks to months and at times still wish that was true.
My point it you only get one roll of the dice and whatever the dice do, is your life (real basic way to describe life and uncertainties) but you may as well make the best of every situation possible. DON'T worry about ANYTHING you can't control. If some ignorant asshole wants to make fun of you or whatnot, beat the shit out of them (if you can't, one of your friends probably can). I admit I was at the top of the food chain in the area as I'd literally been in hundreds upon hundreds of full blown brawls and no one ever came close to even slowing me down, let alone stopping me...so no one went out of their way to try to belittle me because of my medical problems with the sole exception of my wife!!! Never realized how shallow she was or how much she LOVED money until my once MONSTROUS build began to have weight (from medical steroids needed to keep my alive) more or less hide the bulk and once the incredible money I made from being better than 998/1000 vehicle technicians/mechanics in the area went away as I either could not work or was hospitalized (over 125 days in 2004 alone, over 700 total since) and my marriage died the day I woke up with a 106 fever incapable of moving, making a noise (throat swollen shut) etc. Only reason we weren't divorced then is because I wanted to take myself out already...IF I would have lost being with my 2 & 5 year old sons to her I wouldn't had hesitated to take myself out after "removing" a number of others who had to go before I did LOL....
I apologize for wandering with this writing...not feeling well (PAIN) which make thinking straight and staying focused on a single topic almost impossible to accomplish. Thank GOD I "won" my 30 year long war with the VA and now have full and permanent VA/Army disability although it sure would have been nice to have had this when I first saw life as I once knew it come to a catastrophic ending but it is what it is.
IF anyone else is dealing with these sort of issues and you need someone to talk to either through messages like this, emails or even phone calls, let me know and I'll get you the information needed to reach me in whichever way you prefer. There are indeed many others here willing to help those who are "new" to this here besides me too. My last statement is that I don't care if you wear diapers for kink or pleasure without needing them. I only get upset when someone pretends to be disabled as a fantasy and I have no time for people who do that. Nothing to do with children either, outside of advising older teens on social issues. I will NOT discuss anything sexual or about sexuality with anyone - any age unless first asked and then only in a private conversation.