Do you ever feel guilty?

Davvyboy

Est. Contributor
Messages
819
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
Let’s face it, wearing nappies is not a mainstream activity.
But for us it is an incredibly powerful force, there is no escaping it….ever!!
So acceptance is our only way forward.
Through counselling I’ve accepted this unusual side of me and have not only accepted it but embraced it.
We have a coping mechanism.
Do any of my fellow ADISC friends ever feel guilty about wearing nappies ?
 
  • Like
Reactions: DPig, Diapercutie, Lyric and 15 others
Davvyboy said:
Let’s face it, wearing nappies is not a mainstream activity.
But for us it is an incredibly powerful force, there is no escaping it….ever!!
So acceptance is our only way forward.
Through counselling I’ve accepted this unusual side of me and have not only accepted it but embraced it.
We have a coping mechanism.
Do any of my fellow ADISC friends ever feel guilty about wearing nappies ?
Yeah I deal with guilt a lot. If not guilt, it’s shame. I certainly don’t feel understood by others. I’m getting beyond the mystery of it personally. Starting understand what I believe is behind it all for me personally. That helps a bit in accepting it. But my wife isn’t accepting of it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ShyDiaperBoy, Kristal, Neroforte and 2 others
Had a little at the beginning but it passed quickly. I am not hurting anyone. Too many people worry about what others are doing or what others are thinking. It's harmless and if you enjoy it's all that matters.
 
  • Like
Reactions: PlastiBrain, Ortler, flybaby and 10 others
Yes, I feel a huge amount of shame if I think about it too much. I think I kind of compartmentalise this part of myself and don’t let myself think about it too much or the shame becomes overwhelming but it still creeps up a lot of the time.
 
  • Like
Reactions: cowprintz, Rainbow, Neroforte and 2 others
I feel guilty for having to hide it from my wife. But she is not accepting of it. I did try to bring it up once and she was thoroughly disgusted especially with the fact that I am willing to pee myself while in the diaper. Though recently I have been able to wear to bed at night because I did have a couple bedwetting accidents. I tried to talk to my counselor about it but she basically said that if my wife is not accepting of it that I should not do it. I was really hoping my counselor would be supportive of me and I could use that and tell my wife to get some acceptance.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Davvyboy, CrinklingCajun, TrashPanda01 and 2 others
In the past, yes absolutely.

But now, following a lot of self reflection and some therapy, no.

For me, wearing nappies is connected to be little side, and it's simply something to help me cope, feel better, relax and come back recharged as a better, kinder, more thoughtful adult. Having that sense of escape, in a way that is safe, legal, and not harming anyone is important.

And sure, its not common or mainstream, but it's just one of the many things which make us, us.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ortler, Neroforte and Davvyboy
I12BLittle89 said:
Yeah I deal with guilt a lot. If not guilt, it’s shame. I certainly don’t feel understood by others. I’m getting beyond the mystery of it personally. Starting understand what I believe is behind it all for me personally. That helps a bit in accepting it. But my wife isn’t accepting of it.
Events from our past shape our future.
I can fully understand your wife’s reluctance to accept it.
But she is not you.
Do your thing privately and let her see little of it.
Jackieinwbpa said:
Had a little at the beginning but it passed quickly. I am not hurting anyone. Too many people worry about what others are doing or what others are thinking. It's harmless and if you enjoy it's all that matters.
That is a lovely reply and that helps me even more than counselling !
Thank you so much.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Neroforte and I12BLittle89
Jackieinwbpa said:
Had a little at the beginning but it passed quickly. I am not hurting anyone. Too many people worry about what others are doing or what others are thinking. It's harmless and if you enjoy it's all that matters.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Neroforte
NO! I worked out many years ago why (I believe) I love to wear a nappy that I will wet and mess in. But I appreciate that few would understand, so its definitely my "secret"!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ortler, LilAllie, Kellycares and 2 others
I am no more ashamed of my diapers then i am of my glasses or hearing aids.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ortler, Chrissie, cowprintz and 8 others
chamberpot said:
I am no more ashamed of my diapers then i am of my glasses or hearing aids.
Great way to view it. For me I have no choice.
 
  • Like
Reactions: chuck, Neroforte, Constantlydamp and 1 other person
I thought I’d posted a reply but evidently not !?
KaleidoscopeKitty said:
Yes, I feel a huge amount of shame if I think about it too much. I think I kind of compartmentalise this part of myself and don’t let myself think about it too much or the shame becomes overwhelming but it still creeps up a lot of the time.
Dont let it bother you.
It is a silly quirk we have.
It will never, ever go away.
Embrace it, have fun with it !
For me it is not sexual, nor a fetish but it is always there.
It’s nice to be different !!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ortler, Neroforte and BOXERSORBRIEFS
Jackieinwbpa said:
Had a little at the beginning but it passed quickly. I am not hurting anyone. Too many people worry about what others are doing or what others are thinking. It's harmless and if you enjoy it's all that matters.
Excellent reply.
Thank you.
You are so right.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Kellycares
I feel guilty about one specific thing: the burden that diapers put on the environment. I only wear diapers occasionally, for this reason. If I had a medical reason to wear diapers, I wouldn't feel guilty about it.

All the other stuff? The shortalls, the footed sleepers, the pacifiers, the stuffed animals? It's all harmless fun. Nothing to feel guilty about!

Shame and guilt aren't the same thing. Guilt is about doing something wrong. Shame is feeling out of control of other people's reactions to you. People can feel shame about things that aren't wrong or bad. People often feel embarrassed (mild shame) when they get compliments.

Many of my ABDL activities are about shame (corner time and other "funishments"). Shame is usually unpleasant, but it's fun when it's part of a "scene." It's sort of like fear. Fear is usually unpleasant, but people enjoy action movies and horror movies, because there's no real danger when you're sitting on the couch watching a TV screen.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: cowprintz, Kellycares, Davvyboy and 1 other person
My therapist talks about a "core" shame that's difficult if not impossible to dispel. Like a calcified nugget of internal disapproval. It's not uncommon among people like us or people who felt they needed to suppress another identity trait. My therapist's specific experience deals with gay men, and that's a strong element to their shame for many of them who come into their identity later in life.

So, I've started problem solving with my therapist on a way to crack the core shame problem. I found a few things that help.

First, think back to a time when, if things were different, you would have been able to or allowed to explore this side of yourself instead of hiding it. Go back to that, change whatever factors were keeping you from being yourself, and explore the new version of the past. That said, don't try to will the past into changing. You're still here in the present, but just think how thing might have been different. Play with an alternate universe. Maybe you don't have to live with that shame after all. Integrate that alternate reality into your present self.

For me, the changed factor is having the language to describe what I was to my parents and the confidence to describe it as a need. I didn't have either of those things as a kid, and to be fair, most kids don't. That's a skill adult-me developed. So, I don't let adult-me shame my younger self for not being able to handle that. Instead, I send that experience and maturity back in time to my younger self and see how it might have turned out differently.

Second, when you get your needs met, be intentional about filling your needs and STARVE your shame. It's more than just a biological imperative to be fulfilled. Think about your need and your shame as two buckets... but there's a hole in the bottom of the shame bucket and it's cracked and sun bleached from being left outside. Which bucket are you going to fill? Is your needs bucket just going to get occasionally getting splashed in as you pour into the shame bucket, or are you going to pour everything into that needs bucket and let that shame bucket continue to deteriorate?

Or think about it as how you have been feeding your "shame monster". Some of us internalize that there's a monster inside us, but I don't like the metaphor except when I bring it up to dispel it. We feed the shame monster out of fear to keep them from bursting out, but when we give the fine filet mignon (having our needs met) to that animal, it tears it apart with no understanding how special and nourishing it is. Instead, feed your soul, not your monster. Don't waste that nourishment on the monster, because it is going to crudely choke it down.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Marting, Neroforte, cowprintz and 3 others
I12BLittle89 said:
Yeah I deal with guilt a lot. If not guilt, it’s shame. I certainly don’t feel understood by others. I’m getting beyond the mystery of it personally. Starting understand what I believe is behind it all for me personally. That helps a bit in accepting it. But my wife isn’t accepting of it.
I thought I’d replied but must not have hit the post button!
It must be difficult for your wife because it is impossible to understand the powers at force here.
This character trait will never let go.
At least we will be used to wearing nappies if we end up in a nursing home.
morro said:
NO! I worked out many years ago why (I believe) I love to wear a nappy that I will wet and mess in. But I appreciate that few would understand, so its definitely my "secret"!
Good for you.
Long may it last!
 
  • Like
Reactions: I12BLittle89
Pantyman said:
I feel guilty for having to hide it from my wife. But she is not accepting of it. I did try to bring it up once and she was thoroughly disgusted especially with the fact that I am willing to pee myself while in the diaper. Though recently I have been able to wear to bed at night because I did have a couple bedwetting accidents. I tried to talk to my counselor about it but she basically said that if my wife is not accepting of it that I should not do it. I was really hoping my counselor would be supportive of me and I could use that and tell my wife to get some acceptance.
Find another counsellor my friend.
Ultimately we have no control over this.
Hide it from your wife, it is unlikely she will accept it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ortler
buridan said:
Shame and guilt aren't the same thing. Guilt is about doing something wrong. Shame is feeling out of control of other people's reactions to you. People can feel shame about things that aren't wrong or bad. People often feel embarrassed (mild shame) when they get compliments.
I agree with everything else but just wanted to highlight this in particular. No, I don't feel guilty about wearing diapers or doing any other ABDL stuff (except for the environmental thing, which applies to fast fashion as well as well as literally every other kind of waste I participate in, like plastic bottles and such. point being, it's not at all diaper-specific)
 
Pantyman said:
I feel guilty for having to hide it from my wife. But she is not accepting of it. I did try to bring it up once and she was thoroughly disgusted especially with the fact that I am willing to pee myself while in the diaper. Though recently I have been able to wear to bed at night because I did have a couple bedwetting accidents. I tried to talk to my counselor about it but she basically said that if my wife is not accepting of it that I should not do it. I was really hoping my counselor would be supportive of me and I could use that and tell my wife to get some acceptance.
Do you trust your counselor?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Davvyboy
Davvyboy said:
I thought I’d replied but must not have hit the post button!
It must be difficult for your wife because it is impossible to understand the powers at force here.
This character trait will never let go.
At least we will be used to wearing nappies if we end up in a nursing home.

Good for you.
Long may it last!
I’ve mentioned in my blog that my wife has caregiver tendencies but doesn’t want anything to do with my ABDL stuff. I know that may sound contradictory. She holds me in her lap like a child. Plays with my hair or gently scratches my scalp. Tells me everything is ok. But she if I ever tried to wear diapers or kids XL clothes. It would be a huge no go. Huge issue for her. She makes comments about how ABDL is messed up and wrong. I think she’s trying to help me with my anxiety by holding me. Knowing full well that it touches on ABDL tendencies. I also think she’s using what she knows as a teacher. She works with kids all day and sometimes that bleeds over into how she treats me. She has phrases she uses to bring about discipline in the classroom. Only one I can remember is “catch a bubble”. Which means you make a bubble in your mouth which makes you stop talking. So she can be heard when giving instruction. I think she did this by accident with me once because I talk a lot. So when a child is about to have a meltdown at school. I think she has methods for helping but I don’t think she holds the child like she did me. My point is that she’s in a caregiver role at work and that is how she treats me when I’m not ok. But that doesn’t mean I can be full on little like I want to be.
 
Back
Top