Discrimination against male abdls

daddyconnor

Est. Contributor
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I've never felt like there was any discrimination. But there is some harsh reality out there.

1. Yeah girls get it easier in some ways - but as it's been previously asserted... that's a universal thing no matter the kink.

2. It is a fetish with a pretty low comparative incidence.... meaning simply there are fewer players out there.

If you want to talk about bias or discrimination, I think actual chronological age is a bigger issue. But even with that, the good looking older guys do just fine.

Where it gets ugly is the creepy old weird phux that can't socially interact. And for some reason the incidence of these people making themselves self appointed ambassadors is the a huge part of the reason the community gets a bad rep-especially the guys. I'm waiting for the day that a documentary on the abdl lifestyle shows a few great looking successful "got their sh!t together" guys. But I've only seen cringe worthy representation. If it isn't a morbidly obese neckbearded 50-60 year old in a bariatric diaper and a propeller beanie, it's a scrawny 110lb millenial with a scraggly beard trying to play a convincing daddydom (and failing miserably) while vaping in their crappy dirty/messy house.

Do some girls exploit the scene for monetary gain? Sure and power to them. Everyone should be thankful they are out there for one great reason.

Great reason #1- Getting the public to slowly change their minds is more likely to happen with hot, young, and cute girls repping the scene. Don't get me wrong, there are some smoking hot ab guys that really help change perceptions.

Is it fair? Nah... but it is simply reality. My advice is either become the product everyone wants or resign yourself to the fact people are shallow and be lonely (but still righteous).
 

AEsahaettr

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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Other
Is it fair? Nah... but it is simply reality. My advice is either become the product everyone wants or resign yourself to the fact people are shallow and be lonely (but still righteous).
This is the point I don't think enough people understand- it just is what it is. I'm bisexual and close to evenly split, and can tell you that the aesthetic and kink of using diapers and wearing baby paraphernelia tends to mesh a lot better with the aesthetic of female anatomy, for reasons that I could speculate on but to be honest that's probably a bottomless pit of pop psychology I'm not really ready to get into at the moment.

Look at the numbers- every poll in this place shows that ABDL identity and interest is highly disproportionately skewed toward straight males. So the vast majority of us are men who want to view, interact, and even partner with women, but ABDL women are a comparably small minority. So you end up with lots of men wanting to be seen and validated by members of the opposite sex but what ends up happening is men foisting their crotch shots on other men who very distinctly don't want to see it. I mean, I'm into men and don't want to see it (women on the other hand...). It's not really discrimination per se. It's the end result of ABDL-identified men greatly outnumbering women and partner-seeking turning into a messy competitive venture.
 

BobaFettish

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Adult Baby, Little
The biggest example [which leades right back to AB/DL] is how we're able to dress because of this.
Just look at the junior/women clothing sections compared to men's section.
Hello Kitty, Disney, Pixar, unicorns and cute kitties, lol.
It's perfectly acceptable for a woman to dress in younger, more child like clothes then for guys.
I'm going to have to respectfully disagree. Just playing devil advo here. When I shop for clothing in the men's department, men's clothing store, etc.., there's a lot of Ironman, Captain America, and assorted Avengers stuff. I've seen Transformers, Batman and Superman stuff. I recall seeing Batman, Superman, and Flash underwear at Target. Tho I get being the Dark Knight or Man of Steel, but I'm not sure anyone woman wants the Flash that's done too soon. I have plenty of Star Wars shirts in my closet.
I am not saying they are or ever will be diapered up, but I think a lot of nerderies are the shallow end of our Ageplay pool. I think anyone who is REALLY into what they liked when they were little, are a little bit like us.
 

BobaFettish

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Adult Baby, Little
I think part of it may be from your filters through your personal experience. If you are mainly online, or only online finding community with others with this perculiar interest, you may see things different.

With ABDL pics/videos, I've always liked the ones who look like they are really into it or in little space. I've seen a lot where they look like porn chicks who are wearing a diaper for the shoot and that's it.

We have a great community in Austin. We have great events. We have vetting. Insist on enthusiastic consent. We have great leadership and organizers. I would say our scene is like 45% female. If you treat people with respect, not always trying to get a female to be your mommy, and make them feel comfortable, you'll be surprised. It wasn't until I found community that I realized how DDLG was also under the Ageplay umbrellas. I've seen non-wearers become wearers when they weren't pressured.
 

hex000f

Contributor
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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover
We have a great community in Austin. We have great events. We have vetting. Insist on enthusiastic consent. We have great leadership and organizers. I would say our scene is like 45% female. If you treat people with respect, not always trying to get a female to be your mommy, and make them feel comfortable, you'll be surprised. It wasn't until I found community that I realized how DDLG was also under the Ageplay umbrellas. I've seen non-wearers become wearers when they weren't pressured.
I'm curious how the part about non wearers becoming wearers (I assume you mean diapers) plays out or can play out and wouldn't mind hearing more information about it.

On topic: IDK if there is gender bias for something this "obscure" to the general public but people may have a point about stereotypical masculinity being an issue that only males have to deal with.
 

BobaFettish

Est. Contributor
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142
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Adult Baby, Little
I'm curious how the part about non wearers becoming wearers (I assume you mean diapers) plays out or can play out and wouldn't mind hearing more information about it.
Without pressuring and them just having fun at play parties and slumber parties, it's just a matter of some of the girls asking someone for a diaper.
They seen others in a diaper enjoying themselves, and want to see what it's like.

Respecting them, not pushing roles on them, not pressuring, and not being creepy to them, they can feel comfortable enough to explore this.

I kinda feel the same on faith/religion. I'm not trying to push and sell it to you, but if you ask my how I weather life's storms and I'm still joyous, I'll tell you.
 

CaterpillarSick

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Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Little
To better understand this you have to look at how society as a whole looks at & treats Males & Females.
We still live in quite a male dominated society, granted its a much better one today,
but there are still huge differences in how males & females are viewed & what is accepted & excepted behaviors for both.

Because women are seen as the weaker sex, fragile, emotional, someone to be cared for, blah blah blah, basically more or less like children.

The biggest example [which leades right back to AB/DL] is how we're able to dress because of this.
Just look at the junior/women clothing sections compared to men's section.
Hello Kitty, Disney, Pixar, unicorns and cute kitties, lol.
It's perfectly acceptable for a woman to dress in younger, more child like clothes then for guys.

So seeing a girl dress or act much younger, even in babyish clothes and/or diapers really isn't that far a stretch.
Plus it tends to be far less a sexually driven activity with girls then it is with guys which also leads to the "creepy factor" for men.

PS: When a girl does this it seems the common vanilla reaction usually leans towards it being done for mental, emotional reasons, IDK more a supportive thing then for any sexual reasons.
I think you've sort of hit it on the nose, at least if you look at the question using a feminist framework. Much of it probably does boil down to how we (society as a whole) look at men and women. Women are often not questioned as strictly about looking or acting more juvenile and are subsequently given more leeway to do so; while men tend to be expected to act older than they are. Combine that with society still seeing the raising of small children (infants and toddlers) as a predominantly female job, and it isn't hard to see why genders get different reactions towards this.

Personally I think that men struggle just as much with the expectation that they need to act older than they are as women do with the expectation that they must remain "youthful". I think both ideas are stupid and should be addressed in tandem.
 
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