Dilemma

PaddedInHaslet

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So tomorrow we are moving from Washington state to SoCal. We are driving down so it is an 18 hour drive or so. As some of you may recall. My wife is against diapers and she doesn’t want me wearing around her, but the 18 hour drive is a perfect time to wear. Plus, we will actually be in two different cars, but there will definitely be pit stops together for gas and letting the dogs do their business. I am so close to saying screw it and padding up for the trip and just asking forgiveness if caught, but then I think of the possible blow up. Ugh!

Thoughts?
 

TyphaHare

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Why would you want to antagonize your wife? And why is it her business if you use diapers in your own car, away from her?

You guys need to talk about this calmly and nicely and set up some limits and freedoms.
Do you have some time when you can wear so that it doesn't bother her at all? Or is she just dead-set against using nappies?

You guys need to set up some boundaries.
 

PaddedInHaslet

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She allows me to wear when she’s not around but she works from home so she is always around. I very rarely get diaper time. It just bugs me because it seems that I work on compromising to make her happy on lost of things, but she doesn’t return the favor. She thinks allowing me to wear in private when she’s not around is a good compromise. Meanwhile, she got a tattoo even though she knows I don’t like them. She said I just have to get over my dislike of tattoos because she has always wanted one. Also, this whole move is happening because she wants it. I love it here in Washington, but since she wants to be back by her family in California, i have to deal with it.
 

neophyte

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I think women value respect.

IMO if you were to say "honey, I know you're not open to my wearing diapers but this is a long trip and I could really use the support. I though of being sneaky behind your back but I love and respect you too much to act that way. This is really difficult for me to bring up but I value our trust and respect"

etc...

I think that's your best and maybe your only approach to avoid confrontation and avoid being sneaky.

P.S. have you explained to her that adult diapers are very advanced these days, they soak up fast and tuck it (pee) away keeping you dry and clean.
 

KenworthW900b

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Honestly from what you have posted about your wife and her attitude towards diapers I don't think it is worth the hassle it will most likely cause you.
 

TyphaHare

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Hmm, sounds like both of you should respect more what each other do with your own bodies tbh. If it happens to you and you can keep it away from other people's lives it should not be a problem.
You should tell your wife exactly what you just wrote here - that you feel like you compromise too much and she not enough. She needs to know your feelings so you can cohabit better.

But anyway, I feel like this issue is approached from a negative point of view.
What do you two like to do together? What works? Can some of that help to approach this issue?
 
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Cottontail

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So tomorrow we are moving from Washington state to SoCal. We are driving down so it is an 18 hour drive or so. As some of you may recall. My wife is against diapers and she doesn’t want me wearing around her, but the 18 hour drive is a perfect time to wear. Plus, we will actually be in two different cars, but there will definitely be pit stops together for gas and letting the dogs do their business. I am so close to saying screw it and padding up for the trip and just asking forgiveness if caught, but then I think of the possible blow up. Ugh!

Thoughts?
In the interest of identifying possible oblique approaches: What precipitated the move to SoCal? That's kind of a major revelation right there, ya know--the sort of thing that requires users to change their usernames. I hope it's a cool new career or something, but since you didn't lead with that...

("SoakingInSoCal" might work.)
 
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SoakedinTexas

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I think before you make this move, you may want to go see a marriage counselor. This may be a step in the wrong direction. I may be reading into something I don't know, but she may be moving closer to the family so she can prepare for divorce. If she does not like your diapers and any time you are caught wearing or speaking of them she "blows up" you have a problem that will not go away until counseling helps work something out.
 

PaddedInHaslet

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Yeah, I’m going to have to change my name. Most likely just keep it in line with “PaddedInEastvale”, although it doesn’t have the same ring to it. Yo answer some of your other questions, we are originally from California and had moved up here a little over 5 years ago where we have absolutely no family. She just missed her family too much and the kids agreed so we made the decision to move down. I’m the only one in the family against it, but I will put their happiness in front of my wants the way parents usually do. My wife is fully aware that I am struggling with this move, but she wasn’t budging on it. I honestly don’t think this is a sign of a possible divorce because we get along great otherwise, just not in the diaper department.
 

Cottontail

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Yeah, I’m going to have to change my name. Most likely just keep it in line with “PaddedInEastvale”, although it doesn’t have the same ring to it. Yo answer some of your other questions, we are originally from California and had moved up here a little over 5 years ago where we have absolutely no family. She just missed her family too much and the kids agreed so we made the decision to move down. I’m the only one in the family against it, but I will put their happiness in front of my wants the way parents usually do. My wife is fully aware that I am struggling with this move, but she wasn’t budging on it. I honestly don’t think this is a sign of a possible divorce because we get along great otherwise, just not in the diaper department.
Eastvale's only like 20 miles from Anaheim. "DiaperedAtDisneyland" wouldn't be too much of a stretch... :)

I'm glad for the "get along great" bit. Hopefully, as time ticks on, the diaper thing will be less of an issue. Maybe when kids are off on their own... (Not that you want to be looking forward to that, but... Silver linings.)
 

mramar

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I would suggest letting her know so she doesn’t freak out if she finds out during the trip. I’m sure she wouldn’t even notice if unless you made it obvious. Just keep in mind, it may make the trip more difficult unless you are used to peeing while driving. I recently took a road trip with my wife. I packed mega max diapers because I know on nights when I’m drinking I tend to wet the bed as I’m a heavy sleeper. I packed a few extra in hopes like you, she wouldn’t mind if I wore during the drive. After stopping several time with the first few hours, she told me to pad up so we didn’t have to make any more stops. I was super excited as I padded up but quickly realized after we started driving that it was difficult to pee with driving for some reason. This caused my stomach to build up pressure as I had to pee. Luckly about an hour later I was able to find a position that allowed me to let it loose. So just make sure you are able to go while multi-tasking.
 

PaddedInHaslet

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I can definitely go while driving. Did it a lot when I drove for Uber. However, I didn’t end up padding up for the drive. I wussed out.
 

neophyte

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In hindsight maybe that was a good idea to leave it, with all the stresses of moving and blending into a new city with new/old family if in itself overwhelming and puts emotions high. I would have hated for you to bring this up and have it be a "OMG really, are you serious, you're bringing this up right now???!!" moment.

I'm currently learning how difficult it is to come out and it's not fun.
 
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