Did you struggle to find a partner?

greatlake5

Profoundly incontinent since the beginning.
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Without a doubt IC people struggle to find a partner. I've always been IC and had limited success hooking up with an intimate partner. I think most of our members
struggle to find a girlfriend or boyfriend. At any age. I finally found one after years without having a girlfriend. It was stressful and frustrating. On top of this I had little sexual experience along with anxiety. I think most people will find the right one eventually. But being IC, having to wear a diaper, it obviously complicates dating.

Without giving too much details, I started having a friend that we did thing together. We both liked doing the same activities (biking, tennis and hiking). She was attractive, cute and sensitive. She finally started asking questions about my bathroom routines (never visited one). Eventually she mentioned a diaper and I finally had to admit it. A very difficult answer. Anyway, so here we are.

How difficult it was to find a partner? Did you find a possible partner who found out about your IC? Or did you tell her first? Successes or failures? My hope is that other IC people will comment on the questions. Almost all IC people struggle with this. It might help.
 
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In a universe far away and light years from yesterday, as a young guy I had enough trouble dating without being IC at the time. Eventually, I met the right girl and lived happily after. So I can't imaging dealing with IC at that same time. The the only way forward under those conditions (forgive the cheap shot) is to "boldly go, where you've never gone before".
 
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Asking to your question, when I became IC (mine‘s due to spinal injury) and after months of rehab began to accept it, I truly felt I had very good luck (inside of the “bad” that’s having your spine damaged). And feeling that I promised myself I would never stop doing something I’d have done before. And to this day I think I kept it.
It’s almost 18 years since then and in that time I had encounters with girls met that same night just as before (not many! But a couple ones). I haven’t been rejected yet, but I’m aware that could happen any day. fortunately I found nice decent girls. So I have the same difficulties I had, the problem is that now it’s harder because of that possibility but I do it to maintain the promise I made to myself.
 
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I still have trouble with that
 
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I was beyond lucky, as I was already married when I was involved in a high speed auto crash. When I woke-up a couple of days later, she already knew I was U-IC and at that time (near five decades ago) they had set me up with the typical hose and bag arrangement. When we got home five days later, the common failures with that system had by dear wife stating that it was not working. She gathered up cloth diapers from our son and I have been diapered ever since.

I am not sure how to meet that special person, but I fully respect the efforts you all have and are mading.
 
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Edgewater said:
she already knew I was U-IC and at that time (near five decades ago) they had set me up with the typical hose and bag arrangement. When we got home five days later, the common failures with that system had by dear wife stating that it was not working. She gathered up cloth diapers from our son and I have been diapered ever since.

I am not sure how to meet that special person, but I fully respect the efforts you all have and are mading.
Welcome the real world. Never happy but real. Some accept it, some not. When it comes for active but IC people, it's never easy to accept it when it comes for partners. Personally, most IC people become peaceful with it. What else can you do.? Finding a partner who actually accepts it, helps or not, they know that diapers are not the end of it.. Live goes on. Enjoy life. Despite wearing a diaper.
 
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greatlake5 said:
Welcome the real world. Never happy but real. Some accept it, some not. When it comes for active but IC people, it's never easy to accept it when it comes for partners. Personally, most IC people become peaceful with it. What else can you do.? Finding a partner who actually accepts it, helps or not, they know that diapers are not the end of it.. Live goes on. Enjoy life. Despite wearing a diaper.
i know what you mean even if doctors right now can't find the cause of my incontinence although i'm suspecting neurological problems being the culprit or they are wrong about the 3 slipped discs in my back not being the culprit but either way back in jersey my problem with finding a relationship was that some people are so vain they don't want to date someone in diapers and here in south Carolina i can't get out and meet people
 
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I'm not incontinent, but I honestly don't think I could have huge success with getting a girlfriend. It's not really like being a diaper lover was necessarily a choice for me, since I didn't use the toilet completely until I was 4 and a half. I frankly don't know if that's been a factor, but I think I was one of those people who had it ingrained in their brains for a while now. I can't say it's the same as being incontinent, but honestly, I don't know about disclosing that kind of stuff related to diapers unless that person is comfortable with it.
 
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When I did fine my Partner & Mate ! It took me many years before I even open up to tell her that I had to wear. I was so nerves raking at that time when I told her ! I was very bless with a very understand, caring open minded person . One thing she did say that she wish I told her much earlier in our relationship. We been an very happy, very caring loving couple ever since ! 🥰
 
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My UIC started 35 years after our marriage. Im also one of the lucky ones with a partner who fully understands, accepts and supports my condition, telling and showing me from the beginning of my IC that I'm still the same person for her, no matter which kind of underwear I use. She's happy that I have found products that allow me to manage comfortably for myself my incontinence in a way that we can continue our active and social life in nearly the same way as we did before and that I could make my peace with my condition without any struggling. It's no big deal for her, I have no need to hide anything (but I also don't expose my diapers more than I did before with my underpants), I have absolutely no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed, I can change myself in front of her if we are together in our master bathroom while talking naturally about whatever, also cuddling or touching each other did not change at all.
 
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I met my partner online. She is also incontinent since birth and is a dl. . . She and i hit it off strait away. We are currently seeing allot of eachother, although we live a distance appart. In the not too distant future we plan to move in together, all being well.

She has had terrible trouble with relationships in the past because of her incontinence and the nappies, but as have i on some occasions so we kinda understand eachother People can be so mean sometimes. . .

I have had a couple of long term relationships and my incontinence was never a problem and wasnt the reason they ended. From what i have learned over my years is, good women are usualy very sympathetic and are usually on a whole very accepting of nappies and incontinence. Ive had quite a lot of sex and kinda fuck buddies and fumbles with a fair few women over the years and although ive had some bad reactions, generally ive had allot of good sex so i think as long as you pick the right kind of women and are just genuinely a nice guy, i think its out there fir the taking, you just need to look in the right places.
 
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I was very successful in having girls accept my diapers and wear them too. There was a method I followed however. I usually always dated girls in the medical field and they for the most part didn’t mind diapers. I literally have had 8-9 girls I wore diapers around and dated seriously from age 23-28 years old.

The two that didn’t accept me wearing diapers and thought it was “disgusting” were actually a stripper and a cam girl/furry. The furry one was shocking because she literally had multiple porn videos she was in and on her Instagram she was naked with only body paint and a tail butt plug, ears and paws walking around Key West during fantasy fest… when we hit the 3rd month of dating and were going to be “official“ she said absolutely no diapers on her or i and I would have to be her “caregiver/owner” during her pet play time… I told her since she couldn’t comprise that i didn’t want to date her and that was the end of that. Lol
 
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I still struggle finding a female partner who will accept it
 
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I am 50 and my new partner was great but when she seen me dressed up as a 5yrs old little girl in a pink dress blonde wig white tights and Nappy & pink dummy she said she didn't want to go with a little girl x.
 
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I’ve had two relationships where I admitted that I wore diapers.

The first was a girlfriend I told I liked to wear diapers. I was a DL back then. She was very accepting, even interested. She tried diapers with me and discovered she enjoyed wearing them. We had many intimate moments (sexual and non) in diapers. We discovered new-to-us diapers together, and talked about what we liked and disliked about each diaper. The relationship ended when I relocated due to a job promotion in a new city.

The second was my wife (married 19 years now). By the time we met, I was starting to have bed wetting issues. The first night I stayed at her place I told her of my night-time problems and wore a diaper when we went to sleep. She fully understood, and was happy I told her and took steps to protect her new mattress.

My wife has been supportive as my incontinence has gotten worse. I have been in diapers around the the clock for a good three years now.

My wife is not interested in wearing diapers. I am good with that. I had the experience of playing around in diapers with a partner once. Now they are just the form of underpants I choose to manage incontinence.
 
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Between my IC and other medical issues, dating is virtually impossible. I wouldn't rule it out but it is not something that I see as being likely.
 
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sarah734978 said:
Between my IC and other medical issues, dating is virtually impossible. I wouldn't rule it out but it is not something that I see as being likely.
You'd be surprised. But I admit it's a complication. I haven't given up. Yet.
 
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i been luckey meet a few guy who had UC and one the cool with it
 
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I'm also lucky to have a supportive partner who understands my need to wear diapers. We have been together for over four years and in that time my incontinence has gotten worse and worse. While my partner isn't IC she has still understood my need to wear every night and now in the days as well. It does help that we talk about it sometimes just to make sure we both feel understood on the subject, it's mostly me venting but it's always a good conversation to have.
 
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I struggled for many years to find someone in fear that they would find out about my bedwetting problems and having to wear diapers at night. I eventually did find the special someone who I went to school with and was with her for over 3 years. The first time she stayed at my house she saw my diapers but didn't saying but figured that I still needed them. When we decided to go away for a night I came out and told her that I was still wetting my bed and had to wear diapers. She told me that she knew and remembered that my brother had told her in school about my problems. She would ask me when we went shopping if I needed to get more.
 
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