Did you ever use a toilet before? (from long time IC people)

greatlake5

Profoundly incontinent since the beginning.
Est. Contributor
Messages
1,524
Role
  1. Incontinent
I've been IC since the beginning. Aside from my mom trying "potty training" on me, I've only used the toilet a few times. As a kid it was frustrating and at times, it got me angry. Jesus I tried. It just never worked. It was frustrating for both of us. We tried everything. When I was a bit older I would try myself sitting on the toilet in my personal bathroom. For hours. Sometimes I would actually pee for a bit but I just didn't feel the urge. Hours latter I just couldn't hold it and the urgency was so strong. The same thing when I had a BM. I tried so many times but hours latter...pooped right into my diaper because I had such a strong urgency. It was crazy. Doctors diagnosed me (I'd prefer not to discus the actual diagnose...it's irrelevant), and I do see them regularly and my condition is "steady." But I will say that I'm profoundly IC.

So yeah, I'm diaper dependent. Have you ever felt what it might feel like using a toilet like normal people? It's been a couple of decades not using a toilet. I guess I've has a fantasy about using a toilet instead of wearing a diaper. Life would be so much easier. No complications (at least about wearing diapers). Of course I've accepted being IC and I think I've got used to it. But I still think about it. Is it just me? Or do you think about it like I do?
 
Last edited:
  • Sad
  • Like
Reactions: Edgewater, todderhr, NappiedTruckDriver and 1 other person
Yeah you shouldn’t beat yourself up but I understand why you’d feel that way, sometimes cards we need just don’t come up in the deck.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Edgewater, todderhr and NappiedTruckDriver
I’ve only been FT diaper wearing for just under a year , so have had 43 years of toilet using
Apart from a home or work toilet , any where else like school , public toilets etc were hell as I have a shy bladder and all the noise even in a stall I couldn’t pee even if busting and would have to force it out causing issues there
@greatlake5 Don’t beat your self up about never using a toilet 😀 I know by what you post you’re tired and disheartened wearing diaper all the time so keep up with the posts as you give a good perspective on why healthy people shouldn’t try lose control
PS , some of the easiest best pees I’ve had are in the middle of nowhere at the side of the road in the dark on my own , but the same could be said about being in a busy rest room 😫
 
  • Like
Reactions: Edgewater
I used the toilet until my neuromuscular genetic disorder fully revealed itself at the age of 39.

I have a neurogenic bladder that tracks with my neuromuscular disorder.

When my neuromuscular disorder is doing well, my bladder holds and I start getting subtle cues from my abdomen when the bladder is filled to 1000-1200mL. If I ignore the cues, I go into full retention near the 2000mL mark, and will no longer be able to pee; I need to be catheterized. To prevent this situation, I'm on a voiding schedule to prevent the bladder from being filled over 600mL. I'll use the toilet during this time, but still wear a diaper in case my neuromuscular disorder gets triggered, which will cause me to lose bladder control.

When my neuromuscular disorder is doing poorly, I require a diaper at all times because of continuous leaking. So, no need for a toilet.

Now my radiation induced chronic colitis has morphed into IBS. I do everything possible to use a toilet for that, because the times I accidentally messed my diaper were freakin' disasters. People may call it a "messy" diaper, but it's the mess and stench that's left behind after removing the diaper that matters. I literally stay home until at least noon everyday, to make sure I'm past any severe bowel issue.

So, yes, I use a toilet like normal people whenever possible, but my toilet experience is far from normal.
 
  • Like
  • Sad
Reactions: Edgewater, slimjiminy and NappiedTruckDriver
A toilet is always preferred if I feel the need for a BM in the daytime, but that’s rare.
 
  • Like
Reactions: EcoIncon and Edgewater
CheshireCat said:
I require a diaper at all times
I'm profoundly IC. Using a toilet just doesn't work for me. Unless I'm sleeping I experience strong urgency. For wetting and sometimes BM accidents. When I'm sleeping I don't feel anything. I sleep like I'm in a coma. When I'm awake, I just don't feel any urge until it's too late. Thus using a toilet simply doesn't help. I've been like this since the beginning.
DiaperDiva said:
A toilet is always preferred if I feel the need for a BM in the daytime, but that’s rare.
I wish. Like I said using a toilet with be a fantasy. Preferred? I wonder what that would feel like?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Edgewater
greatlake5 said:
I've been IC since the beginning. Aside from my mom trying "potty training" on me, I've only used the toilet a few times. As a kid it was frustrating and at times, it got me angry. Jesus I tried. It just never worked. It was frustrating for both of us. We tried everything. When I was a bit older I would try myself sitting on the toilet in my personal bathroom. For hours. Sometimes I would actually pee for a bit but I just didn't feel the urge. Hours latter I just couldn't hold it and the urgency was so strong. The same thing when I had a BM. I tried so many times but hours latter...pooped right into my diaper because I had such a strong urgency. It was crazy. Doctors diagnosed me (I'd prefer not to discus the actual diagnose...it's irrelevant), and I do see them regularly and my condition is "steady." But I will say that I'm profoundly IC.

So yeah, I'm diaper dependent. Have you ever felt what it might feel like using a toilet like normal people? It's been a couple of decades not using a toilet. I guess I've has a fantasy about using a toilet instead of wearing a diaper. Life would be so much easier. No complications (at least about wearing diapers). Of course I've accepted being IC and I think I've got used to it. But I still think about it. Is it just me? Or do you think about it like I do?
I try to go to the toilet each time I have feelings to urinate at all
 
  • Like
Reactions: Edgewater
I think the only time I sat at a toilet was when I was being potty trained. Obviously it didn't work. I did try when I was older but again, a no go. I have 3 bathrooms in my house. One next to my bedroom, one for the guest room and one near the family room. The only time I use them if I'm dropping the stool when I'm getting ready to put my diaper in the diaper pail. To be honest I can't even remember when I used one.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Edgewater
I lived a normal life up until I was 30. Then a car crash and my use of the toilet was vasty reduced.

Now-a-days, I use it for my normal Morning BM and from time to time during a dry-out I successful urinating.
 
Edgewater said:
I lived a normal life up until I was 30. Then a car crash and my use of the toilet was vasty reduced.
I live a normal life until 64 and then U-IC set in. Later in that year, some F-IC was making itself known. Diabetes robbed me of my normalness.
 
Edgewater said:
I lived a normal life up until I was 30. Then a car crash and my use of the toilet was vasty reduced.

Now-a-days, I use it for my normal Morning BM and from time to time during a dry-out I successful urinating.
Sometimes I wonder what that must feel like - "normal morning BM". I've excepted my reality but still, knowing that using a toilet I only use it to put a load of stool. Almost every morning. Wetting my diaper is pretty simple. I can't remember even using a toilet. I think most F-IC members haven't used one. Ever. To be honest, I'm fine with that. I know others have way more difficulties then what I deal with. Be thankful. I'm not quadriplegic.
 
Back
Top