Did you ever use a toilet before? (from long time IC people)

greatlake5

Profoundly incontinent since the beginning.
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I've been IC since the beginning. Aside from my mom trying "potty training" on me, I've only used the toilet a few times. As a kid it was frustrating and at times, it got me angry. Jesus I tried. It just never worked. It was frustrating for both of us. We tried everything. When I was a bit older I would try myself sitting on the toilet in my personal bathroom. For hours. Sometimes I would actually pee for a bit but I just didn't feel the urge. Hours latter I just couldn't hold it and the urgency was so strong. The same thing when I had a BM. I tried so many times but hours latter...pooped right into my diaper because I had such a strong urgency. It was crazy. Doctors diagnosed me (I'd prefer not to discus the actual diagnose...it's irrelevant), and I do see them regularly and my condition is "steady." But I will say that I'm profoundly IC.

So yeah, I'm diaper dependent. Have you ever felt what it might feel like using a toilet like normal people? It's been a couple of decades not using a toilet. I guess I've has a fantasy about using a toilet instead of wearing a diaper. Life would be so much easier. No complications (at least about wearing diapers). Of course I've accepted being IC and I think I've got used to it. But I still think about it. Is it just me? Or do you think about it like I do?
 
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rennecfox

Continuing to put quarters in the life game
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Yeah you shouldn’t beat yourself up but I understand why you’d feel that way, sometimes cards we need just don’t come up in the deck.
 
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parcelboy2

Padded Truck driver
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I’ve only been FT diaper wearing for just under a year , so have had 43 years of toilet using
Apart from a home or work toilet , any where else like school , public toilets etc were hell as I have a shy bladder and all the noise even in a stall I couldn’t pee even if busting and would have to force it out causing issues there
@greatlake5 Don’t beat your self up about never using a toilet 😀 I know by what you post you’re tired and disheartened wearing diaper all the time so keep up with the posts as you give a good perspective on why healthy people shouldn’t try lose control
PS , some of the easiest best pees I’ve had are in the middle of nowhere at the side of the road in the dark on my own , but the same could be said about being in a busy rest room 😫
 

CheshireCat

Neuromuscular Disability
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I used the toilet until my neuromuscular genetic disorder fully revealed itself at the age of 39.

I have a neurogenic bladder that tracks with my neuromuscular disorder.

When my neuromuscular disorder is doing well, my bladder holds and I start getting subtle cues from my abdomen when the bladder is filled to 1000-1200mL. If I ignore the cues, I go into full retention near the 2000mL mark, and will no longer be able to pee; I need to be catheterized. To prevent this situation, I'm on a voiding schedule to prevent the bladder from being filled over 600mL. I'll use the toilet during this time, but still wear a diaper in case my neuromuscular disorder gets triggered, which will cause me to lose bladder control.

When my neuromuscular disorder is doing poorly, I require a diaper at all times because of continuous leaking. So, no need for a toilet.

Now my radiation induced chronic colitis has morphed into IBS. I do everything possible to use a toilet for that, because the times I accidentally messed my diaper were freakin' disasters. People may call it a "messy" diaper, but it's the mess and stench that's left behind after removing the diaper that matters. I literally stay home until at least noon everyday, to make sure I'm past any severe bowel issue.

So, yes, I use a toilet like normal people whenever possible, but my toilet experience is far from normal.
 
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DiaperDiva

Super Pooper, Better Wetter
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A toilet is always preferred if I feel the need for a BM in the daytime, but that’s rare.
 

greatlake5

Profoundly incontinent since the beginning.
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CheshireCat said:
I require a diaper at all times
I'm profoundly IC. Using a toilet just doesn't work for me. Unless I'm sleeping I experience strong urgency. For wetting and sometimes BM accidents. When I'm sleeping I don't feel anything. I sleep like I'm in a coma. When I'm awake, I just don't feel any urge until it's too late. Thus using a toilet simply doesn't help. I've been like this since the beginning.
DiaperDiva said:
A toilet is always preferred if I feel the need for a BM in the daytime, but that’s rare.
I wish. Like I said using a toilet with be a fantasy. Preferred? I wonder what that would feel like?
 

Finny

Autistic
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greatlake5 said:
I've been IC since the beginning. Aside from my mom trying "potty training" on me, I've only used the toilet a few times. As a kid it was frustrating and at times, it got me angry. Jesus I tried. It just never worked. It was frustrating for both of us. We tried everything. When I was a bit older I would try myself sitting on the toilet in my personal bathroom. For hours. Sometimes I would actually pee for a bit but I just didn't feel the urge. Hours latter I just couldn't hold it and the urgency was so strong. The same thing when I had a BM. I tried so many times but hours latter...pooped right into my diaper because I had such a strong urgency. It was crazy. Doctors diagnosed me (I'd prefer not to discus the actual diagnose...it's irrelevant), and I do see them regularly and my condition is "steady." But I will say that I'm profoundly IC.

So yeah, I'm diaper dependent. Have you ever felt what it might feel like using a toilet like normal people? It's been a couple of decades not using a toilet. I guess I've has a fantasy about using a toilet instead of wearing a diaper. Life would be so much easier. No complications (at least about wearing diapers). Of course I've accepted being IC and I think I've got used to it. But I still think about it. Is it just me? Or do you think about it like I do?
I try to go to the toilet each time I have feelings to urinate at all
 
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