Diapers disappeared!

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santa22

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I had my diapers in my room, but last week i noticed that a bag i had some in just disappeared, looked all over the house for them but i couldnt find them.
idk who found them and took them, but i been nervous this past week.

there was about 10 of them left in that bag so idk where they are. what should i do?
 

Scaramouche

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Who could have taken them? Do you have a brother or sister? Did a friend come over? Do your parents visit your room often? I find it odd that if it was your parents they didn't mention them. So I believe it was a sibling or perhaps you used them and didn't remember using them? Did you find a new place for them? Do you have a dog? Whatever, don't panic. Someone will eventually confess or they will turn up.
 

santa22

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Ok, i have 2 brothers, one doesnt live with us but visits often, and my brothers friend also comes over all the time, so it could have been one of my brothers, but its weird that nobody said anything to me yet. also i know i didnt use them because i remember always keeping them there, and i know there was 10 of them left so this is whats having me worried. i'm just nervous that they are gone because idk whats going to happen. and if they just randomly show up ill be really nervous.
 

DannyBBaby

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it may be your brother friend, if that the case you may not hear anything more of were thy went.
 

bambinod

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Moms are well-known to do this. I would be shocked if it wasn't your mom.

At the same time, they are, more often than not, not wanting to discuss it any more than you are. So she may never say anything.

BUT... if that's the case, nothing is safe in your room anymore. She's set her own precident, and will feel much more at ease now looking throgh your room while you're not there for things to remove. Unfortunately, confronting her is the only way to put a stop to it.

You could take the passive-aggressive approach to it, and "plant' several stashes around your room, that end only in a note from you very briefly stating you don't appreciate your privacy being violated. (and some mechanism by way you can tell she's been in there, something like the had-written note getting the taped down corner on it torn as the box lid is lifted) That may avoid your having to confront her directly.

Come to think of it there is another option that may be available to you. Get a locked box. An obvious locked box. (keep it empty or with something minorly valuable in it, or with a note in it) You can expet to immediately be confronted about it, maybe even demanded to open it. "Someone's been taking my stuff from my room, I don't know who. (so not pointing the finger at mom) Since I don't want personal or valuable possessions to continue to disappear from my room, I got a locked box. Maybe it's my imagination and I'm just losing things - but this way if I can't find something at least I'll know I lost it and it wasn't taken." You're going to get asked what was taken. You'll have to decide how you want to answer that, maybe somthing as short as "personal things." Most parents won't press on that if they didn't confront you already.

I had several friends while growing up that had to resort to that. Around half of them had parents that had the mentality that their kids had NO right to privacy from them, for ANY reason. One guy I know had his parents in a battle of who could find the biggest bolt cutters / padlock. My mother told me the story of her changing the door knob on her room to one only she had the key to.... heh...

If they try to play the "we need to know you're not keeping cigarettes/drugs/whatever in there" card, respond with "Things are DISAPPEARING from my room - who's the one that really has the right to claim "trust problems"? Like it or not, they have given you the justifications for your action. THEY haven't found drugs in your room, YOU have had stuff go missing, YOU have the initiative here.
 
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Maxx

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I had several friends while growing up that had to resort to that. Around half of them had parents that had the mentality that their kids had NO right to privacy from them, for ANY reason. One guy I know had his parents in a battle of who could find the biggest bolt cutters / padlock. My mother told me the story of her changing the door knob on her room to one only she had the key to.... heh...

If they try to play the "we need to know you're not keeping cigarettes/drugs/whatever in there" card, respond with "Things are DISAPPEARING from my room - who's the one that really has the right to claim "trust problems"? Like it or not, they have given you the justifications for your action. THEY haven't found drugs in your room, YOU have had stuff go missing, YOU have the initiative here.

If you're underage, you DON't have any RIGHt to privacy as such. Even if you're of legal age, your right to privacy is at least questionable unless you're paying rent.

That said, most normal parents are reasonable about it, and respect a certain amount of privacy just as part of the growing up process, unless you've given them reason to be suspicious.

Moms are exempt from all rules and concepts of privacy by their very nature. It doesn't matter if you're all grown up, moved out, with kids of your own. Its just how they are. Junior and Mrs. Junior are all too aware that they are subject to random cleaning and neatness frenzies any time they ask Mrs. Maxx over to baby or dogsit while they're out.

Edit: There's a well known rule in the Parent's Handbook relating to adult children still living at home. "If you make them TOO comfortable, they'll never leave." Adult children with disabilities can be something of an exception, but even there parents have to be careful not to enable dependent behavior.
 
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Kenn

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Your original post was not clear as to whether you had more than one bag. If so, it probably was not your mother, but quite possibly your brother who might share a similar interest. Even if not, that still may be the case. I would not jump to conclusions and accuse your mother or anyone else for that matter. Since nobody has said anything yet, I suspect that no one ever will. Just find a better hiding place.
 

bambinod

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If you're underage, you DON't have any RIGHt to privacy as such. Even if you're of legal age, your right to privacy is at least questionable unless you're paying rent.

I'll hit the seond one first and call it "extortion". That's where you consent to someone violating your rights to avoid their retaliation. Socially unacceptable, frequently illegal.

As for the first, technically I will give you that. But with one major caveat: I'd call "bad parenting" on anyone that just dumps their kids off the deep end with no preparation or training at all when they hit legal age. Privacy, like all other aspects of growing and maturing, should be done in stages, gradually. By the time your kid is 17, they should have nearly full privacy. If you still think you've got the right to dig through their belongings for no good reason anytime the mood hits you, legally you're right but socially you're very wrong. Privacy isn't all about your own rights, it's also teaching respect for the other person's privacy. A parent that has little to no respect for their kid's privacy until they hit 18 is failing as a parent. They're teaching their kid that they don't need to respect anyone else's privacy, because they've never been taught what it means to get it or have it.
 

MickeyM

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Mine has little respect, I'm 30 and I still get searched. I've never had any thing bad or done any thing bad =S exception being diapers/plastic pants lol
 
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I had my diapers in my room, but last week i noticed that a bag i had some in just disappeared, looked all over the house for them but i couldnt find them.
idk who found them and took them, but i been nervous this past week.

there was about 10 of them left in that bag so idk where they are. what should i do?


Get a (2 or 4 drawer) file cabinet, with a lock. Parents SHOULD respect privacy, if you're over 12 (you are), UNLESS there's a history of drug/alcohol use, in which case, all bets are off.
 

dogboy

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My mom sure didn't respect my privacy, but there were times I didn't make good decisions even at the age of 22. Like it or not, the rules of my house/my rules usually apply and the solution is simple. Get your own house, which is what I did. Having your own place is liberating, though it can be lonely if you don't have friends. I did, and when I was young, there were always those who wanted to be with me. They were other males, and you probably get the picture.

There are other possibilities here, like asking your mom if she took "something" from your room, but then you will have to face that sort of conversation. You could buy more diapers and do a better job of hiding them. If you own your own car, put them in a plastic container that seals and hide them in your trunk.
 

alexchar1982

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it may have been your parents, when mine found out, they kept quiet for a week, it could be a brother, it wouldn't be out of the question to think one or both of your brothers has the same interest (psychology has a lot of theories), i would play it cool, if you feel it is safe to continue, try to find a piece of furniture that can have a secret compartment and make one (under a drawer is not a valid secret compartment.) i have hollow section of my dresser that is between the base and the floor, just had to remove a few pegs(if any of your furniture is from ikea, find the Assembly instructions and look for cavities). if you live in an area where there is a wooded area that has a lot of overgrowth, you could try there (cooler, trash bag, or ammo can would all work) and bring in just one or two at a time when you want to, easier to manage and hide.
 

CookieMonstah

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If you're underage, you DON't have any RIGHt to privacy as such. Even if you're of legal age, your right to privacy is at least questionable unless you're paying rent.

Going off on a slight tangent here, I am of legal age, in the UK, and I pay rent now but my father still won't allow anything in the house, not even baby wipes. My parents have tried talking me out of it twice, and I mean everything like diapers, bottles, pacifiers. I know it's never going go away and I have to be extra careful where I hide my stuff because my dad has invaded my privacy a lot over the past year going through pretty much everywhere in my room.
 

Kenn

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Going off on a slight tangent here, I am of legal age, in the UK, and I pay rent now but my father still won't allow anything in the house, not even baby wipes. My parents have tried talking me out of it twice, and I mean everything like diapers, bottles, pacifiers. I know it's never going go away and I have to be extra careful where I hide my stuff because my dad has invaded my privacy a lot over the past year going through pretty much everywhere in my room.

Paying rent? Time to move out even if it means finding a house mate.
 

bambinod

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it saddens me to read about all the people with parents that don't respect their privacy. I realize it's a reality, but it really seems to be terribly unjust. The whole "my house, my rules!" thing in particular, try that with an actual renter/landlord relationship sometime and see how quickly you land your butt in court. As far as I care, if I'm paying to live there, my money, my rules. You want your own rules? Drop the rent and that will look like a much fairer deal. But on the other hand, if you're paying $100/mo for a room or a basement/attic, have utilities, facilities, and furnishings, it's arguable you are trading a steep discount on rent in exchange for some fredoms. A lot of us just can't afford to say "screw this I'm outa here!"

If you're under 18, as I said before, legally they are allowed to do it. (though I draw serious issue with those that are 17 and are paying rent, that law works both ways, pricks) Past 18 though, you're really better off trying to get independent. You're going to have to do it eventually, and it's frequently a rough transition, but it's something almost everyone has to go through at some point. If you're having "my house, my rules!" issues, sooner is better than later.

I think that most people can do pretty well if they can find two roommates to start with. I know several groups that have done that, and three in a modest size place is usually enough to allow everyone to start saving up some cash. Eventually one of them will hook up with a gf/bf and move out or get better job and their own place, and you'll be left with one roommate, and sometimes that can last for a number of years. A lot of that time I see one of them get a gf and now its back up to 3, and eventually the other batchelor moves out. That makes a nice gradual transition for everyone, each going at the speed they want to. The trick there always seems to be finding good roommates. People can be so unpredictable - ones you've known for years just not reacting or behaving like you'd totally expect them to. But it's almost always better than "my house, my rules".
 

CookieMonstah

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Paying rent? Time to move out even if it means finding a house mate.

Lol I am only 18 and only just got my first job 3 months ago, that's why I had to start paying rent but still can't do shit.
 

Kenn

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Lol I am only 18 and only just got my first job 3 months ago, that's why I had to start paying rent but still can't do shit.

Yes, but the OP is 25. I was out and married at 21, right out of college transitioning to grad school. I still maintain that you can find room/house mates through want ads. That is what I did in graduate school; my wife and I had two house mates.
 

caitianx

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For many years, my late Mom went through all my belongings daily from when I was 8 years old to age 34, looking for dope, booze, pornography, or anything else she did not like.

She destroyed many personal belongings, including mail addressed to me.

Of course she was psychotic and insane for decades.

She stopped going through my stuff, after she ended-up in a wheelchair, and unable to enter my bedroom.

She did the same thing to my little brother too.
 
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