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Diapers and Spouses

thediaperedhusband

Est. Contributor
Messages
117
Role
Diaper Lover
Hi all,
Just this weekend, I had a very long talk with my wife of five years. She’s always known about my desire to wear diapers, but this was the first time I had expressed a desire to wear often and openly in the house. I mentioned that diapers are a huge source of comfort for me and that it would be life changing to be able to be open about them in the house if she could handle it. She was kind and tolerant enough to give me the thumbs up to wear regularly whenever I feel like it. I took all of my diapers out of hiding and placed them on the bathroom closet shelves. I feel free and like I’m not in hiding anymore.

I spent the weekend and a few weeknights so far diapered. It’s a far cry from 24/7 and I absolutely want this to become a regular thing. My wife has been talking to me normally during this, and I’m talking to her about it as much as I can, but given she has no interest or understanding of this stuff, I’m terrified that she’s freaking out under the surface. It’s been an absolute sea change for me in the past week and I think my mood reflects it. I’m just concerned about her and her continuing acceptance of her husband in diapers. The last things I want are for her to resent me or for me to end up back in hiding.

So, for those of you who wear openly, how did you bridge the gap with your spouse? What should I do here? Continue to wear regularly and normalize things or do I wear sparingly? Thank you so much for your thoughts!
 

ltaluv

Est. Contributor
Messages
610
Role
Incontinent
My thought is to wear regularly, but go out of your way to be the person she feel in love with and married. I'm guessing that she married you because she found you thoughtful, romantic, warm, caring, funny, and sweet, or at least some combination of these; don't get so wrapped up in your diaper world that you forget to be who she needs.

Diapers don't change who we are as people, but it's easy for us to become selfish when we're pursuing our own interests. I struggle sometimes to be the man my wife fell in love with, but she is much happier when I put the work in to be that person and build on the strengths of our marriage.
 

thediaperedhusband

Est. Contributor
Messages
117
Role
Diaper Lover
My thought is to wear regularly, but go out of your way to be the person she feel in love with and married. I'm guessing that she married you because she found you thoughtful, romantic, warm, caring, funny, and sweet, or at least some combination of these; don't get so wrapped up in your diaper world that you forget to be who she needs.

Diapers don't change who we are as people, but it's easy for us to become selfish when we're pursuing our own interests. I struggle sometimes to be the man my wife fell in love with, but she is much happier when I put the work in to be that person and build on the strengths of our marriage.
This is a great sentiment. Thank you. It’s funny because I’ve actually felt much happier this past week and unlike I ever have before. My wife is taking it positively but also wondering why I wasn’t like this all the time before. I tried to explain it was because I felt restricted and unlike myself before I told her. It’s like a weight off my shoulders. I hope she understands with time. It’s a lot for her to process, I bet.
 

MaxiPad89

Contributor
Messages
382
Role
Diaper Lover
If you're not convinced that she's 100% on board with this, but she's letting you do it regardless of how she feels about it, you're in a situation that not everyone experiences and you need to appreciate that. You stated in your original post that, and these are direct quotes from above:

-My wife has been talking normally to me during this
-I'm talking to her about it as much as I can
-She has no interest or understanding of this stuff

That's all one sentence. You expressed everything relevant to your concerns right there. She doesn't care, but you're talking about it as much as you can. That's how you drive her away and eventually cause yourself a problem. Now, I'll preface this by saying I'm lucky. My wife not only lets me wear as much as I want, but also wears with me, including whenever she's not at work/gym on her period and every night to bed so she doesn't have to get up. But, one of her friends is dating/living with a guy who is also into diapers and their situation sounds an awful lot like you. She wanted to be a supportive girlfriend and wanted him to be happy, so she let him indulge. It was fine at first, but he wouldn't stop talking about it, always had to be wearing, couldn't have sex without them...it was all about diapers. She made him scale back, he couldn't handle it and started talking to other girls (including seeing a sex worker) about it, and while she was nice enough to stay with him, he is no longer allowed to have diapers in the house.

The point of this story is to tell you to respect her boundaries. She married you because she likes you. All of you. Diapers are a part of you, and there are many other parts. If you're talking about diapers as much as possible, you become a one trick pony and that starts to make you uninteresting, which is going to make her resent the diapers, which won't end well for you.

My advice here. Take the diapers out of hiding. Keep them where you want them and wear them when you feel like it. See if she'll diaper you. And that's it. Stop talking about them just for the sake of talking about them. Talk about them when there's something relevant to talk about. You wouldn't talk about your boxers all the time, would you? How often do you hear women complain about their men who play video games way too much, or can't stop watching football? That will be you with the diapers if you overdo it.

In addition to diapers, I like to wear panties. Believe it or not, when I told my then girlfriend, now wife about it, she was more on board with the diapers than panties. The diapers were fun to her, but the panties, she said she would support but not encourage (sounds similar your wife). I normalized the panties by just wearing them and letting it be that. If we were going to have sex, I made sure I wouldn't have them on, but otherwise, when I took my pants off or got into bed for the night, I had panties on, and that was it. No overdoing it, I just had them on. And it became normal to her. Not saying that will be exactly your experience, but, your best chance is just to make it seem like nothing has changed her at all, except that you're wearing a diaper instead of your other underwear.

Be cool. Act normal. And the diapers will normalize to her. Don't change what makes you, you to her. It's a delicate situation. Respect her and her wishes, be more attentive to her needs, and odds are you'll be just fine. But to me, it sounds like you need to chill a bit. It's fine to be excited, but go online and talk about diapers. Let your marriage be your marriage and the diapers stay as just a piece of clothing for a while.

Hope that helps.
 

Slomo

Contributor
Messages
8,272
Role
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Incontinent
I took it slow with my wife. She knew about my diapers early in our dating, and saw me in just a diaper before we moved in together. It was still a lot for her to adjust to though, so even though I was already wearing 24/7 I kept them mostly out of sight as best as I could. Slowly I became more open with them, up to finally lounging around the house in nothing but a diaper and tee.

Kind of like the others have said, make sure she is able to get to know you as her husband more than she gets to know your diapered self. Do what you can to normalize or even down play your diapers as just another thing. Do keep up the conversations with her too, if she becomes too uncomfortable it will be more likely for her to bring it up. If it doesn't then try to not worry about it so much.
 

thediaperedhusband

Est. Contributor
Messages
117
Role
Diaper Lover
If you're not convinced that she's 100% on board with this, but she's letting you do it regardless of how she feels about it, you're in a situation that not everyone experiences and you need to appreciate that. You stated in your original post that, and these are direct quotes from above:

-My wife has been talking normally to me during this
-I'm talking to her about it as much as I can
-She has no interest or understanding of this stuff

That's all one sentence. You expressed everything relevant to your concerns right there. She doesn't care, but you're talking about it as much as you can. That's how you drive her away and eventually cause yourself a problem. Now, I'll preface this by saying I'm lucky. My wife not only lets me wear as much as I want, but also wears with me, including whenever she's not at work/gym on her period and every night to bed so she doesn't have to get up. But, one of her friends is dating/living with a guy who is also into diapers and their situation sounds an awful lot like you. She wanted to be a supportive girlfriend and wanted him to be happy, so she let him indulge. It was fine at first, but he wouldn't stop talking about it, always had to be wearing, couldn't have sex without them...it was all about diapers. She made him scale back, he couldn't handle it and started talking to other girls (including seeing a sex worker) about it, and while she was nice enough to stay with him, he is no longer allowed to have diapers in the house.

The point of this story is to tell you to respect her boundaries. She married you because she likes you. All of you. Diapers are a part of you, and there are many other parts. If you're talking about diapers as much as possible, you become a one trick pony and that starts to make you uninteresting, which is going to make her resent the diapers, which won't end well for you.

My advice here. Take the diapers out of hiding. Keep them where you want them and wear them when you feel like it. See if she'll diaper you. And that's it. Stop talking about them just for the sake of talking about them. Talk about them when there's something relevant to talk about. You wouldn't talk about your boxers all the time, would you? How often do you hear women complain about their men who play video games way too much, or can't stop watching football? That will be you with the diapers if you overdo it.

In addition to diapers, I like to wear panties. Believe it or not, when I told my then girlfriend, now wife about it, she was more on board with the diapers than panties. The diapers were fun to her, but the panties, she said she would support but not encourage (sounds similar your wife). I normalized the panties by just wearing them and letting it be that. If we were going to have sex, I made sure I wouldn't have them on, but otherwise, when I took my pants off or got into bed for the night, I had panties on, and that was it. No overdoing it, I just had them on. And it became normal to her. Not saying that will be exactly your experience, but, your best chance is just to make it seem like nothing has changed her at all, except that you're wearing a diaper instead of your other underwear.

Be cool. Act normal. And the diapers will normalize to her. Don't change what makes you, you to her. It's a delicate situation. Respect her and her wishes, be more attentive to her needs, and odds are you'll be just fine. But to me, it sounds like you need to chill a bit. It's fine to be excited, but go online and talk about diapers. Let your marriage be your marriage and the diapers stay as just a piece of clothing for a while.

Hope that helps.
Thank you so much for the advice. This is really helpful.

I’ve been torn between making sure that she’s okay and shutting up about it to try to normalize it. Her reply is simply “I’m just trying to get used to it.” So, I think your advice makes a lot of sense and, going forward, I’ll just put on my diaper and pajamas and not say a word. If she has an issue, she can talk to me about it. I’ve emphasized multiple times that it’s no different than wearing a certain type of pajamas to bed or underwear. It’s just a type of underwear and, what’s more, I’ve never asked her to participate nor do I expect her to. I’m fine with her being completely passive.

I guess I talk about it because I’m afraid if I don’t, she will harbor feelings of resentment and won’t bring them up to me unilaterally. I guess that’s just a chance I have to take.
 

thediaperedhusband

Est. Contributor
Messages
117
Role
Diaper Lover
I took it slow with my wife. She knew about my diapers early in our dating, and saw me in just a diaper before we moved in together. It was still a lot for her to adjust to though, so even though I was already wearing 24/7 I kept them mostly out of sight as best as I could. Slowly I became more open with them, up to finally lounging around the house in nothing but a diaper and tee.

Kind of like the others have said, make sure she is able to get to know you as her husband more than she gets to know your diapered self. Do what you can to normalize or even down play your diapers as just another thing. Do keep up the conversations with her too, if she becomes too uncomfortable it will be more likely for her to bring it up. If it doesn't then try to not worry about it so much.
Did she ever become uncomfortable with you wearing regularly, even under clothes? How did she get comfortable to the point where you could wear without pants? That’s generally where I want to get to.
 

Slomo

Contributor
Messages
8,272
Role
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Incontinent
Did she ever become uncomfortable with you wearing regularly, even under clothes? How did she get comfortable to the point where you could wear without pants? That’s generally where I want to get to.
Quite the opposite. I believe the more my wife realised my diapers were an extension of myself the more she was able to accept them. And as with most anything, the more you're exposed to something the more you get used to it.

It started with the occasional waistband sticking up, or that quick change when my diaper was exposed. Mostly I always kept shorts or pants on. Eventually we were both comfortable enough I could sleep in bed with only a diaper on (the same for my bear, lol). Then laying on the bed without covers as I watched tv, or for a few minutes befor going to bed. Mind you this took years, but eventually I just pushed it a little more and tried only a diaper and tee while gaming one weekend. I asked her how she felt about it, and by then her response was along the lines of "whatever, don't care". Since it's easier and more comfortable for me, I just stuck with it. Now it's kind of the expected normal. Though I do have to be more carefull not to answer the door without pants on.

In short, I get there by taking baby steps.
 

thediaperedhusband

Est. Contributor
Messages
117
Role
Diaper Lover
Quite the opposite. I believe the more my wife realised my diapers were an extension of myself the more she was able to accept them. And as with most anything, the more you're exposed to something the more you get used to it.

It started with the occasional waistband sticking up, or that quick change when my diaper was exposed. Mostly I always kept shorts or pants on. Eventually we were both comfortable enough I could sleep in bed with only a diaper on (the same for my bear, lol). Then laying on the bed without covers as I watched tv, or for a few minutes befor going to bed. Mind you this took years, but eventually I just pushed it a little more and tried only a diaper and tee while gaming one weekend. I asked her how she felt about it, and by then her response was along the lines of "whatever, don't care". Since it's easier and more comfortable for me, I just stuck with it. Now it's kind of the expected normal. Though I do have to be more carefull not to answer the door without pants on.

In short, I get there by taking baby steps.
As others have said, sounds like I just need to put them on and roll with it! Hopefully she will communicate if she gets uncomfortable at any point.
 

MaxiPad89

Contributor
Messages
382
Role
Diaper Lover
The best thing you can do is stop overthinking it. It'll make life a lot easier for her, and it'll make life a lot easier for you. Wear the diapers and have everything else be exactly as it was before. Don't think or do anything differently. Show her that life doesn't change with you wearing diapers. It'll be a lot easier for all parties involved this way.
 

thediaperedhusband

Est. Contributor
Messages
117
Role
Diaper Lover
The best thing you can do is stop overthinking it. It'll make life a lot easier for her, and it'll make life a lot easier for you. Wear the diapers and have everything else be exactly as it was before. Don't think or do anything differently. Show her that life doesn't change with you wearing diapers. It'll be a lot easier for all parties involved this way.
I really like this advice and I’m definitely going to follow it. I’ll start wearing regularly and think nothing of it. Hopefully it gets easier with time. Thank you so much!
 

redhawkpath

Contributor
Messages
94
Role
Incontinent
I will give you my two cents in this one. Ok I have been incontinent since I was 13. Trust me finding a woman who could accept an incontinent boy was interesting. But I met my wife when I was 16. We didn’t get married till we got out of college.

although I wear because I have to and you don’t. My wife accepted it early. I would say in your car you just need to normalize the situation. Wear them regularly. Providing you do want to. The only issue is bed.
Trust me if your wife wants to get romantic the last thing she is going to want is to reach over and find your diaper. Or maybe she is ok with it. You just have to reassure her that it is easy to take off for that reason and it does not effect that.
 

thediaperedhusband

Est. Contributor
Messages
117
Role
Diaper Lover
I will give you my two cents in this one. Ok I have been incontinent since I was 13. Trust me finding a woman who could accept an incontinent boy was interesting. But I met my wife when I was 16. We didn’t get married till we got out of college.

although I wear because I have to and you don’t. My wife accepted it early. I would say in your car you just need to normalize the situation. Wear them regularly. Providing you do want to. The only issue is bed.
Trust me if your wife wants to get romantic the last thing she is going to want is to reach over and find your diaper. Or maybe she is ok with it. You just have to reassure her that it is easy to take off for that reason and it does not effect that.
Thank you! We’ve had some serious breakthroughs and conversations this week. She mentioned how she can already see me changing for the better and how much she loves the direction I’m going. Her perspective is that she doesn’t understand it, but if it makes me this happy and enhances my life that much, then she will gladly support it. I’m very lucky!

The other (NSFW) development is that this is actually helping our sex life in a huge way. I don’t masturbate when I’m wearing and, as a result, the sex we had at the end of this week was mind blowing for the both of us. So, the new deal is that we are treating this like a fun game of deprivation—for so long as I’m diapered, she is the only one who can satisfy my needs in the sexual department. It’s super hot and fun!
 

Fluffybottoms

Softail
Est. Contributor
Messages
126
Role
Diaper Lover, Little
If you're not convinced that she's 100% on board with this, but she's letting you do it regardless of how she feels about it, you're in a situation that not everyone experiences and you need to appreciate that. You stated in your original post that, and these are direct quotes from above:

-My wife has been talking normally to me during this
-I'm talking to her about it as much as I can
-She has no interest or understanding of this stuff

That's all one sentence. You expressed everything relevant to your concerns right there. She doesn't care, but you're talking about it as much as you can. That's how you drive her away and eventually cause yourself a problem. Now, I'll preface this by saying I'm lucky. My wife not only lets me wear as much as I want, but also wears with me, including whenever she's not at work/gym on her period and every night to bed so she doesn't have to get up. But, one of her friends is dating/living with a guy who is also into diapers and their situation sounds an awful lot like you. She wanted to be a supportive girlfriend and wanted him to be happy, so she let him indulge. It was fine at first, but he wouldn't stop talking about it, always had to be wearing, couldn't have sex without them...it was all about diapers. She made him scale back, he couldn't handle it and started talking to other girls (including seeing a sex worker) about it, and while she was nice enough to stay with him, he is no longer allowed to have diapers in the house.

The point of this story is to tell you to respect her boundaries. She married you because she likes you. All of you. Diapers are a part of you, and there are many other parts. If you're talking about diapers as much as possible, you become a one trick pony and that starts to make you uninteresting, which is going to make her resent the diapers, which won't end well for you.

My advice here. Take the diapers out of hiding. Keep them where you want them and wear them when you feel like it. See if she'll diaper you. And that's it. Stop talking about them just for the sake of talking about them. Talk about them when there's something relevant to talk about. You wouldn't talk about your boxers all the time, would you? How often do you hear women complain about their men who play video games way too much, or can't stop watching football? That will be you with the diapers if you overdo it.

In addition to diapers, I like to wear panties. Believe it or not, when I told my then girlfriend, now wife about it, she was more on board with the diapers than panties. The diapers were fun to her, but the panties, she said she would support but not encourage (sounds similar your wife). I normalized the panties by just wearing them and letting it be that. If we were going to have sex, I made sure I wouldn't have them on, but otherwise, when I took my pants off or got into bed for the night, I had panties on, and that was it. No overdoing it, I just had them on. And it became normal to her. Not saying that will be exactly your experience, but, your best chance is just to make it seem like nothing has changed her at all, except that you're wearing a diaper instead of your other underwear.

Be cool. Act normal. And the diapers will normalize to her. Don't change what makes you, you to her. It's a delicate situation. Respect her and her wishes, be more attentive to her needs, and odds are you'll be just fine. But to me, it sounds like you need to chill a bit. It's fine to be excited, but go online and talk about diapers. Let your marriage be your marriage and the diapers stay as just a piece of clothing for a while.

Hope that helps.
Well said, spot on.
 

Subtlerustle

Est. Contributor
Messages
152
Role
Diaper Lover
Thank you! We’ve had some serious breakthroughs and conversations this week. She mentioned how she can already see me changing for the better and how much she loves the direction I’m going. Her perspective is that she doesn’t understand it, but if it makes me this happy and enhances my life that much, then she will gladly support it. I’m very lucky!

The other (NSFW) development is that this is actually helping our sex life in a huge way. I don’t masturbate when I’m wearing and, as a result, the sex we had at the end of this week was mind blowing for the both of us. So, the new deal is that we are treating this like a fun game of deprivation—for so long as I’m diapered, she is the only one who can satisfy my needs in the sexual department. It’s super hot and fun!
Woah. That last part is a mind f*#% but I love it! *insert side smirk and slight nod*
 
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