Diaper shaming by doctors what's your experience ? I have mostly had a decent experience but not always

[Pino]

As far as i can tell i was never "shamed" for using diapers. But almost no one talks about it really.
I get my prescription every three month, they just print "N39.42G" and "needed tools" on it. No word about diapers or even briefs.

I go to every doctor with a diaper. all of them know i am incontinent, they ask about problems, but never about the brief, just one time an urologist asked how many briefs i do need in one day. During medical examination they will see it, never anybody said a word.

I told my urologist that my personal main problem was the pain, not the incontinence, that this is just an "inconvenience" for me, i think she understood, but she would rather give me BTX and catheters than diapers i guess.

 

[PaddedRita]

My urologist is the one that suggested that I start to wear along with a few other alternatives . She has never shamed me for wearing.

 

[CheshireCat]

Years ago a urologist wrote a book about his prostate cancer journey. The book compared his journey expectations, based on being a urologist for decades, and his real journey experience. He knew his understanding was off just from the lack of empathy from his urologist. But it was the biopsy that made him realize he had no clue what his patients had gone through. He had done the procedure on thousands of men and always told them to expect slight uncomfortable with a few mild pinpricks. During his biopsy he experienced horrible pain and went into shock. His experience changed the protocol for urology, giving a sedative and using numbing gel for prostate biopsies.

Doctors regurgitate what they are taught, until personal experience overrides their education. Most patients would never confront a doctor about their expertise. They simply look for a new doctor. All it takes is one patient who confronts and makes the point of asking would the doctor do this barbaric practice on their loved ones to make the doctor think about the patient as a whole and not a set of symptoms.

 

[AnalogRTO]

I've posted before about troubles I had with urologists. Been dealing with them for decades for IC issues, finally just quit going to them for the most part.

But a number of years back I was forced to visit them again due to severe testicular pain. We are talking severe to the point I could barely walk.

First urologist sees my diaper and claims that getting me out of diapers is the only priority and that the testicular pain is insignificant. Second visit? No way, never did a second visit.

Second one I risked going without protection on, finally got far enough that the conclusion was that the pain was emanating from the testicles and got sent to a pain management specialist. Several failed nerve blocks later, the specialist says only remaining option on his end is an implant, but that is a long surgery with a lot of risks and would require a number of follow-up procedures over the years to replace batteries, etc. and it was suggested I might want to consider the option of orchiectomy, i.e. removal of the testicles. Back to second urologist and outright refusal to even consider that! No way, he won't think of doing a simple surgery that only takes half an hour over the surgery to implant, connect to nerves on one side, tunnel to the other side to connect to nerves there, and the risks associated.

Finally ended up at Stanford and the doctor was willing to consider orchiectomy and finally performed it. Pain free in that regard since.

 

[Raven801]

It's been interesting to see everyone's experiences and I'm not sure why some Drs are snobby and conceited... I have experienced the full spectrum however all my current doctors have been incredible...I'm really starting to think it must be something to do with the university of Utah hospital since I moved my care through there doctors and specialist I have had excellent care and zero shaming my urologist, Gastrology,skin care physical therapy,pelvic floor specialist, orthopedics, mobility therapy moved them all the there network mainly because there close to me and man awesome care ...never thought it good be this good honestly they listen well and offer advise and really involve you in you're care and there just very caring and friendly. I feel so lucky

 

[fredy552]

Well, I shared my story in several blogs through the ADISC Blog. 1st off let me say I had an affinity for diapers or AB/ABL community. In 2006 I was with and we were in mud up to our necks and trying to find the towing pintle for an M60 tank the tow bar weighs somewhere in the 200-300 lbs. area I felt like I peed out the bottom of my back did I pee my pants I do not know or what happened I do know my back hurts somewhat ever since.
Now back in 2011, I was in a conference room in Afghanistan when an Afgan Officer wearing a vest bomb came into the room and blew us up. I was not badly wounded. I did have trouble holding my pee if I had to pee it was to find somewhere to go now do not wait ever since the bombing Over the next few years I would wear adult pull-ups if I thought or knew I would be away from somewhere I go to the bathroom or flying etc. during the worst of Covid Nov. of 2020 I was hospitalized with Covid and was put into a Coma. I was like that for a little over a week they would call my wife and inform her of what was going on. For several days, they were saying there was a problem with the bowels and urinary tract. When I came out of this and was in a private room the nurses had to gown up and mask and all to come in the room. So when I would call them that I had to use the toilet I was not allowed off the bed and besides, I did not have the strength to get out of bed. I would wet the pads to the point of it seemed like I was in a lake. My favorite nurse asked me if I would wear a diaper I said yes. I was now comfortable and cold waiting for the nurse. They would check on me every so often so no diaper rash and sent me home in a diaper. Now my wetting/Incontinence got worse I started putting Incontinence pads in my Pull-Ups. I started leaking through them only now when I had to pee was feeling myself getting wet. Now it is 2023 I am wearing Adult Briefs (Diapers) and Plastic Pants my GP is aware I read that several they do not give numbers of people that had CoVID have become Incontinent it does not give numbers or if the people regained using the toilet. My Doctor says if that is the way I want to treat it he is good with that if I want to go with something ie go to a urologist or? To him know and will make it happen. He has read my chart from when I was in the hospital and they never found anything wrong. Me I think it is a combination of what I have put my body through over the last 17 years.

 

[winterheart01]

Years ago a urologist wrote a book about his prostate cancer journey. The book compared his journey expectations, based on being a urologist for decades, and his real journey experience. He knew his understanding was off just from the lack of empathy from his urologist. But it was the biopsy that made him realize he had no clue what his patients had gone through. He had done the procedure on thousands of men and always told them to expect slight uncomfortable with a few mild pinpricks. During his biopsy he experienced horrible pain and went into shock. His experience changed the protocol for urology, giving a sedative and using numbing gel for prostate biopsies.

Doctors regurgitate what they are taught, until personal experience overrides their education. Most patients would never confront a doctor about their expertise. They simply look for a new doctor. All it takes is one patient who confronts and makes the point of asking would the doctor do this barbaric practice on their loved ones to make the doctor think about the patient as a whole and not a set of symptoms.

that reminds me of a friend with Small fiber sensory neuropathy, 3 urologists couldn't find it, but instead only looked at his retention/incontinence issues and wanted to implant a neurostimulator.
Good thing he refused , went elsewhere, there they made a small cut in the sphincter to relieve his pain but as we all know this grows back together.
He eventually underwent the same procedure I did, since there was (as far as the urologist knew) no treatment for the real issue, his last urologist concluded it was Small fiber sensory neuropathy. He did advise to visit a neurologist but the patient was literally tired of doctors (can't blame him) and was so happy he was finally rid of his bladder pressure and pains.
Of course now other symptoms appear but like me the previous urologist wanted to perform a catheterisable urostomy, which would not get rid of the bacteria and chronic infected bladder neck and sphincter, but that was "irrelevant" he said

Like my friend, I have no regrets of making my own call, sure rashes are an issue at times from sweating, but other than that I have never stopped second guessing a doctor's diagnosis unless it's crystal clear he's right.
An eye doctor lied to me for years just to keep me as her patient, I could get laser surgery she said, but had to wait till i was 21, the doctor who actually does this surgery said that was impossible, my vision was too bad and would lead to scar tissue if she'd laser it, so lens implants was a far better solution, this could have been done already when I was 18... just to say....I always second guess a diagnosis ever since....

 

[mechanicX]

Wow , my doctors for all the failings they have done , when i did tell them about mine they would encourage to wear.

 

[swirrll]

My urologist refused to accept that I'd prefer to wear diapers to deal with my oab, rather than completely changing my diet, taking multiple medications, and using catheters. Didn't respect my boundaries, so I told him to fuck off, and never went back. I had told him that I had tried everything he had recommended years prior, but he refused to listen. Been a bedwetter as long as I can remember, and bladder issues started getting worse during the day around 12-13 or so. (2011-2012ish) only started wearing during the day about 2014-2015, been 24/7 since then. Diapers are just easier than running to a bathroom every 20-30 minutes...

 

[BabyHailey1977]

I have an initial appointment with a new urologist on Friday. I’m going in to see if there is anything serious causing my OAB and urgency. Also, my dad had prostate cancer and now that I’m 45 I want to start testing. My primary already knows that I’m ok wearing diapers and I don’t want to take medications unless it’s serious. I worked around so many chemicals in the 21 years I spent painting jets in the Air Force. The VA urologist won’t even consider the chemicals as a reason for my issues.

I’m just worried theater my new urologist will treat me poorly for preferring diapers.

 

[NannaAnnabelle]

So far my urologist visits have been limited to just a cystoscopy and an office consult. Have not experienced diaper shaming yet (wore pull-ups to both) but like most other medical professionals I've seen I did get the fat-shame lecture which I'm quite used to now. So I'll just keep on trying to get weight & blood sugars under control on my own & see if things improve. Only thing I really can do.

 

[LupintheWolf]

I suffer from oab, painful bladder, pelvic floor dysfunction kidney issues and IBS. And the first urologist I went to as things got bad and accidents started being a frequent issue they kindly suggested a permanent indwelling catheter.. I tried it but it really set off the painful bladder...then they suggested diapers....I already was wearing most the time but didn't admit it because I was ashamed. Then I moved and had to get a new urologist and man she was totally against diapers. I tried to explain that try to hold it was extremely painful and she didn't seem to care she seemed more focused on getting me continent than getting me out of pain. After one visit where they did a cystoscopy which required the removal of my diaper I put my pants on and didn't put a diaper back on because she made me feel uncomfortable we talked for 25-30 minutes and we'll out of nowhere my bladder went nuts I went for the door and didn't make it 3 steps before I had an accident she looked at me like I just insulted her and was like ok we're done here go deal with ...that ...and we'll talk later. in a very patronizing fashion... I was mortified. Never went back to her .. instead found a new urologist who has been amazing he suggested diapers because I told him I had accidents and pain he said it's simple if your protected accidents aren't a big deal and further more don't sit there in pain pain is your body saying something is wrong. He said if you wear protection there's no shame in using it besides when you're in pain you tend to tense up and try to hold it through the pain your straining you pelvic floor which might be counter productive we need to get you to relax those muscles instead of them being strung like a piano wire and really and In the mean time let's try some therapy and medication to get you out of pain and figure this thing out ...once your pain is manageable well work on control don't be ashamed of yourself nobody wants to be in pain. He is so easy to talk to it's been incredible.just curious what others have experienced

first, i must say that second doc can fuck off and leave her medical licence on the desk because doctors are supposed to fix problems yes but they are suposted to do it in the least harmful way possible. secondly, although i havent found a urologist in the state i live in now but when i lived in new jersey i went through 3 diferent urologists. the first one threw pills at the problem without investigating the cause, the second one was during covid and dispite my file clearly saying i am autistic she mistook my autistic fidgeting on a telehealth call for me fapping and i got banned from that practice and the third doctor ran some tests and confermed i am indeed incontent but couldent find out why my body wasn't warning me of having to go althought some other doctors that weren't urologist concluded that my nervous system problems are causing my incontince

 

[Raven801]

So far my urologist visits have been limited to just a cystoscopy and an office consult. Have not experienced diaper shaming yet (wore pull-ups to both) but like most other medical professionals I've seen I did get the fat-shame lecture which I'm quite used to now. So I'll just keep on trying to get weight & blood sugars under control on my own & see if things improve. Only thing I really can do.

A weight shaming doctor is just as bad as anything as having any negative comments in my opinion is not acceptable I don't know the context of but I'm sorry that happened to you .

 

[NannaAnnabelle]

A weight shaming doctor is just as bad as anything as having any negative comments in my opinion is not acceptable I don't know the context of but I'm sorry that happened to you .

Thank you but honestly it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. The observation is technically correct and I'm doing what I can myself to correct it. The problem is it won't be fixed overnight and people don't have a lot of understanding or patience when dealing with overweight people.

 

[AnalogRTO]

From all of these stories, I will admit that finding a good doctor is like finding gold! I found a great doctor for my headaches in California and wasn't happy when I moved away, but I did find a good one here in town. My latest issue has been dealing with a heel I shattered years ago--I swore I did soft tissue damage in there as well as breaking the bone. First doctor screwed the heel pieces back together and later pulled the hardware out. Three years later, I go see a new doctor after moving out here and they take X-rays and say arthritis, then do surgery to clean out the arthritis and fuse the joint above the heel. What do they find while doing this? A torn tendon. Fix it as well, but two years later I'm still having issues.

Finally get to the doctor I am with now. Joint fusion didn't take, he can see that on X-rays. But he listens to me swearing that it's more than the joint and orders MRIs to look at soft tissue. Torn and dislocated tendons are found! Finding a doctor like this is worth it!

 

[Edgewater]

Wow, its continues to shock me the experiences that each of you have had and what I have on a limited bases dealt with myself.

Of late, with new doctors and their assistants, I have taken the position of being blunt and to the point regard what my medical status is and what is working and what has not. Common, within a the next few minutes it becomes clear where things will likely go. If it's a no-going, we call it nice and go our separate ways. I have burned though two Internists in the last four years and have number three coming-up this Summer.

As we entered COVID, I had started loosing weight and with a combinations of a wound infection and tons of Meds that caused a loss of my taste and smell, eating became a horrible experience. Long story, short I lost 80 lbs in two years and have kept it off. I do not recommend this approach, but I eat less than half of what I use to. I have type II (currently maintaining mid 6.5 range) and have really pushed to limit the medications I am taking, which has also help. I am currently on two meds and one over the counter.

 

[Raven801]

Thank you but honestly it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. The observation is technically correct and I'm doing what I can myself to correct it. The problem is it won't be fixed overnight and people don't have a lot of understanding or patience when dealing with overweight people.

Well I don't judge people in anything other than personality and there actions.... So no judgement from me if anything you seem like a awesome person so good on ya