Are abena and molicares that much better than depends.[/quote
Yes. Though Depends have their attributes... They're cheap, and they take well to a stuffer.
If I am going out in public I change within 2 hours after I wet.
That can be a chore. I spent last weekend in NYC and was on foot (or doing things) for 8+ hours at a time, and changing every two hours out in public would've been a pain. After two hours in an Abena, it's only been wet once usually, and will take much more. Regardless, I'd rather feel secure compared to testing the limits of a Depend. A leak would really suck.
Also, I disagree with relegating Abenas and the like to nighttime only. Unless you're into tight jeans and belly shirts, most clothing will cover up any sort of bulge, and they definitely won't make you waddle. I've worn them everywhere... School back in the day, out with friends, work, etc. Nothing a relaxed pair of jeans can't conceal, and they're considerably quieter than Depends too.
If you haven't tried them, but have tried Depends, get the Abenas. They're about as good as you can get for an adult diaper, and you'll be able to form your own opinion. Don't forget that Abena also sells the Super and Extra, which are thinner than the X-Plus, but still immensely better than Depends.