Diaper confusion

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Since I have stop wetting the bed at four I have only worn a few diapers. I wore pull-ups years ago and goodnites a little over a year ago. I didn't like either of them. Yet, I have since I was young been making makeshift diapers that I made out of a snuggie, which is extremely soft and stretchy and makes thick diapers, but they never satisfied me either. I guess because it wasn't the real thing. The real training pants and such I think maybe were too small.

But why do I have these strong urges to wear diapers, but whenever I put one on I don't like it and immediately take it off? Maybe it's guilt and shame? But I don't know. I'm just really confused.
 

ozbub

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This sounds like an acceptance issue....sure a makeshift rarely feels just right, but you know, if you give yourself permission to feel the way you obviously need to feel, the type of diaper may not be so critical. Now when you do get it all right....and you have found a good diaper... that's awesome.
 

Atomic6

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I love goodnights they are the best for me and yes it is a shame thing but I got over that because I needed them til about a year ago snuggle is no way to go to cloth diapers they are ok
 

MetalMann

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It's the shame that is created by potty training, parents usually shame their kids when they don't make it to the toilet on time. Every one relates diapers to babies. It's more of a social issue. You keep thinking about how others would think about this strange addiction.

You need to try to start thinking more positively about it. You have to accept yourself to have a more positive outlook everyday. To reject this side of you continuously can affect you negatively and cause depression. Just give yourself positive reassurance that it's not a bad thing. There's no reason to feel guilty about it. If diapers weren't acceptable, you wouldn't be able to buy them.
 

barkd74

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As a teen I made makeshift quite often and was never really satisfied with any of them. They just don't compare with the real thing.
 
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This sounds like an acceptance issue....sure a makeshift rarely feels just right, but you know, if you give yourself permission to feel the way you obviously need to feel, the type of diaper may not be so critical. Now when you do get it all right....and you have found a good diaper... that's awesome.

I dunno because I see babies and stuff playing around and acting all innocent and wearing diapers and I sometimes want to be that. Then an image of a 200 pound 6 ft 4 man dressed as an infant pops in my head and it makes me sick. If I could physically regress myself I would without a doubt accept my abdl side, but since that is impossible I probably will never accept it. I just can't see myself being a grown man in a onesie wearing a diaper. My fantasies growing up were always me going back in time and being two years old again. But I can never achieve that.
 

MetalMann

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None of us can achieve that. The most of us probably wish we could relive it. We all can see it as ridiculous. You just have to do activities that'll help you around that problem. Get a paci and grab a coloring book. Do something that you've enjoyed as a kid.

I have a goatee and usually aren't clean shaven. I have a vivid imagination and that combined with juvenile activities helps to get past the ridiculousness that clouds your regression.
 

Trevor

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I dunno because I see babies and stuff playing around and acting all innocent and wearing diapers and I sometimes want to be that. Then an image of a 200 pound 6 ft 4 man dressed as an infant pops in my head and it makes me sick. If I could physically regress myself I would without a doubt accept my abdl side, but since that is impossible I probably will never accept it. I just can't see myself being a grown man in a onesie wearing a diaper. My fantasies growing up were always me going back in time and being two years old again. But I can never achieve that.

You need to learn to cut yourself a little slack. You're not going to be able to physically regress but I've seen guys your size who can carry it off. I think it's really in the state of mind as much as anything. How would you react to a good friend of yours who was so upset over something similar? I'd hope you'd be compassionate and understanding. Try employing some of that toward yourself. This is a weird urge for sure but objectively it's no stranger than things which are much better accepted. Find the proper time and place to express it and learn to enjoy it because that urge isn't going anywhere.
 

Cottontail

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I sympathize. I think I suffer from a bit of the same thing, though I cope with it. Sort of. For instance, I'm physically about as non-baby as possible, but I often find ways to wear baby diapers anyway because... well... they're what babies wear. :shrug: We can only control certain things. Of course, picturing myself -- a grown man -- in Pampers isn't always the most appealing mental image, but then I'm usually not in such a literal mode when I wear diapers. I wouldn't call it regression so much as suspension of disbelief.

I think the only thing to do here is indulge when the urge hits you and let yourself slowly be convinced of the innocence of it all. It doesn't hurt anybody, so if it fulfills a fundamental urge, it's probably ok.
 
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yabashiri

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I dunno because I see babies and stuff playing around and acting all innocent and wearing diapers and I sometimes want to be that. Then an image of a 200 pound 6 ft 4 man dressed as an infant pops in my head and it makes me sick. If I could physically regress myself I would without a doubt accept my abdl side, but since that is impossible I probably will never accept it. I just can't see myself being a grown man in a onesie wearing a diaper. My fantasies growing up were always me going back in time and being two years old again. But I can never achieve that.

If you have a problem with how you look on the outside then you could become a diaperfur-suiter, it brought my cuddly fun side out more than ever before :3
Accepting yourself so you can enjoy yourself. If you found someone you can become fond of whom is into diapers; they may be able to help you accept who you really want to be.
 

Maker

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It might also have to do with the perceived comfort of diapers. For non DLs, the bulk feeling is negative, but for DLs, it's usually a positive. So if you obsess about how comfortable your clothes are, maybe you have to figure out how to see them as something you want, something positive. Not sure if this has any relevance to your problem, but I hypothesize that whether you enjoy wearing them or not may be attributed to a state of mind.
 
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This sounds like an acceptance issue....sure a makeshift rarely feels just right, but you know, if you give yourself permission to feel the way you obviously need to feel, the type of diaper may not be so critical. Now when you do get it all right....and you have found a good diaper... that's awesome.

Made a make shift for the first time in like a year. For sure not a guilt thing... Just wasn't comfortable. Oh well. Still probably won't get real ones anytime soon. My desire to wear diapers is from the devil according to my parents so if they found anything I'm in big trouble.
 

Gardener

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Your parents' message may be getting to you, causing a conflict internally. You want to, but when you do, their disapproval of the activity makes you not enjoy it. For makeshift diapers, I have always been a cloth diaper man (although I do like the Depends Real Fit for traveling), so I went to a fabric store and bought a few yards of white flannel. I cut them into appropriate sizes so when I folded them they were a few layers thick and the right size. Got pins from a baby section at the store and I now have the most comfortable diapers you can imagine. Wearing them right now as my wife is away for a few nights. They are easy to hide. Good luck. As others have said, the urge doesn't go away, so you need to resolve your conflicted feelings and accept yourself as you are. You have lots of friends here!
 

Argent

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Made a make shift for the first time in like a year. For sure not a guilt thing... Just wasn't comfortable. Oh well. Still probably won't get real ones anytime soon. My desire to wear diapers is from the devil according to my parents so if they found anything I'm in big trouble.

I am old enough to be your father and I accept you and also know 2 things: 1. Nothing wrong at all with wearing and enjoying diapers 2. Those feelings you have won't go away no matter how much useless guilt you are burdened with.

Chin up kiddo, your parents might be concerned about you for having these feelings but they are definitely incorrect.
 
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