Depression is Killer


Hope it get’s better for you! This song helped me at my lowest point, maybe it can help you. 🙈🥰🤗
 
I was diagnosed with depression earlier this year. Diapers is sort of my coping mechanism.
 
  • Thinking
Reactions: dinosaurKing
LVDL69 said:
I was diagnosed with depression earlier this year. Diapers is sort of my coping mechanism.

Don’t make them a coping mechanism it takes away the fun and novelty instead just shed the adult baggage and the things that affect your mental health 🙈🥰🤗

That’s what I’ve done 🙈 things that use to bother me I don’t give the time of day anymore.
 
LittleMonsterUK said:
Don’t make them a coping mechanism it takes away the fun and novelty instead just shed the adult baggage and the things that affect your mental health 🙈🥰🤗

That’s what I’ve done 🙈 things that use to bother me I don’t give the time of day anymore.
well, they have helped me.
 
  • Like
Reactions: dinosaurKing
I use diapers and regression as a coping mechanism but I don't let it rule my life. I still work, play music: do other things. But when I have a high depression day, diapers can help me not feel so sad.
 
Hey, read your post and I'm really sorry. I'm also an ABDL that suffers from pretty hardcore depression from time to time. I feel like, all we want is to be loved, and to be ourselves, and it's so hard to find real, intimate relationships with people, especially of the ABDL kind. If you ever want to talk about ABDL and depression please let me know.
 
LVDL69 said:
Diapers is sort of my coping mechanism.
Same. They just bring me back to a time where it felt alright to be myself.
LittleMonsterUK said:
Don’t make them a coping mechanism it takes away the fun and novelty instead just shed the adult baggage and the things that affect your mental health 🙈🥰🤗
And that is one of the many downsides of it, unfortunately.
 
I lost my father 5 years ago from the same thing that I was diagnosed with autoimmune disease in March of 2020 the doctor explained that autoimmune disease needs a trigger to set it off I told her that I had lost my father to the same thing and she said that grief would be a big culprit and to make things worse I had got a call from my bank were I have an account that someone was trying to takeover my account through social services and had tried to become my legal Guardian even though I don't need one they had notified the bank of this act thankfully social services did not grant this person the the Guardianship over me, when I went to the bank I was in for a big surprise when they told me the person that tried to get to my account was my own mother I should have known because she has OCD when my Father passed she was thrown out of the fire into the frying pan she couldn't spend the way she used to so she tried to get at My money I confronted her on it and she said she wanted to teach me how to spend money correctly and I know she would spend that money on herself the bank told me that I could have her prosecuted I didn't want to make things worse and I think she has NPD,
all the signs are there she covets other people's property never happy always looking on the other side of the fence I don't think she'll pull another stunt like that again I'm watching as well as social services and PNC,
My depression is known as clinical depression from the severe pain from the autoimmune disease it wears you down to the point you just want to end all I'm going to start physical therapy for the autoimmune disease to try to get some pain relief and I told them no narcotics I'm A recovering Alcoholic been clean for 31 years don't want to go down that dark road again.
 
Chatzoe said:
Depression feels like an inescapable pit. Some days you wonder if you'll get out one way or another.
I don't understand how I've gotten myself to this point in life, where I feel like nothing is going to get better. Normally, I'll pad up and be little when things get too much. But I've been out of it due stuff that has affected me emotionally. Each day is just a mere struggle to get through. So out of it that a week goes by in a blink. I've known that I've had depression through out my life. Many times very close to putting a bullet through my head due to life and social issues going on. But what made life hard years ago now feels like a small drop of water in a ocean compared to how and what I've felt in the last few months.​

Back in May, I had to make one of the most hardest decisions (so far) in my life. I had to pull the plug on my Mother, who a week earlier was walking and talking normally. In a span of a week: She was hospitalized because of liver issues, underwent surgery and was slated to get well, only to find out that she was dying. It hurt pulling that plug and I feel guilt that there might've been a chance for her to improve (very unlikely). At the same time I feel happy for it. This person was the cause of some major trust issues that I had growing up. She'd always look at my grades despite me getting a A-B average and suggesting that I was slacking in school. That lead to some very heated arguments that got very personal. She'd always go through my mail no matter what. Which lead to a few close calls of my ABDL side being discovered during my Teen Years. She'd go through my trash to 'find' stuff. Sided with my Father when he would emotionally abuse me for 'Not being a man' and talking about how they're glad that I'm not LGBTQ+ (Even though I knew I was at least Bi by that time) and the like.

I felt so conflicted during all of that.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A few months later in July, I planned a trip to go see my CG for the First time. Me and him have been talking for at least 3.5 years at that point. But this would be the first time that I see him face to face. We made arrangements and I went down. It was a fun 3hr drive. I went to his house and talked for what felt like minutes but were nothing more than hours. I was away from all of the shit back home and with a guy that has helped me out for those 3.5 years. For the week that I was down there, I felt many emotions. I felt happy for the first 2 days but it slowly turned into envy and loneliness.

My CG had a girlfriend who was ABDL aswell. She knew me due to going to the same High School for a bit, so we were already familiar. Surprisingly she took more care of me than my CG. But that was for a fraction of a few days. We did Littlespace activities through out the entire trip and whatnot. Watched movies, visited parks, Made paper crafts. All of the things that made me feel little. But all in a position where I felt like I was the unwanted third wheel. Granted, I came in with unrealistic expectations. It felt like their focus was just on each other and not me. Led me to think that they're just doing this as a gesture of pity. I didn't have the heart to tell them my issues because I didn't want to lose them. I didn't want to be alone again, stuck with the same thoughts that one day might kill me.

After the trip ended, I headed back home. The moment I parked into my parking space, I just broke down. Even in the company of others, I felt alone.
Now I have another trip coming up in December. The same thoughts plague me as they did during July.
I feel your pain we had to put my father into hospis from the same autoimmune disease that plagued this family I was diagnosed with it also constant depression I've had people smirked at me said why are you so depressed I said you want this pain I'll be glad to give it to you and you couldn't handle it and some choice words and big fights at least we didn't have to have my father on lifesupport he was completely comatose from the time he went to hospice until he passed was just a little more than 48 hours he was on oxygen for the 12 months prior depression is very powerful hope everything works out for you.
 
Back
Top