Depressed...

[Tommy]

Hey, basically i fail at life.

I no longer have many friends, i never leave the house unless for family or work, i used to be out every single day!

I just feel depressed, like i have failed life and i am only 16! I wish i could go back 4 or 5 years, stay friends with my old mates, have a popular school life, and maybe a girl friend..

I just feel so down, i can't stop thinking about it. I wish i could just go to my old best mates house and go out like we used to. But no, we are now to different. I lost contact.

Now, i only have friends that are much older than me, i have no contact with school friends, and i only left 3 months ago!

What shall i do? Please help, i am feeling so down

 

[Embraer]

Hey Man, I am sorry that your feeling down. Yea, sometimes life really sucks. Things change, maybe for the good, maybe for the bad, but it WILL get better. I know what you mean, cause sometimes I feel really down at times, but you just gotta know, that it will get better. Just find something you really enjoy, and just try to look forward to that, and slowly, time will go by, and you. For me, school is really sucking ass right now, but I just look forward to my vacation, then my birthday, then getting my pilots liscense, etc, etc.. You just gotta find something and set it as a goal, and youll get thru it!

 

[Tommy]

Ok, thanks

Nice, pilot licence and your 15? Wish i had oppotunities to do this.

 

[Embraer]

No problem!

And yep, im getting my PPL (Private Pilots License) in November, so i'll be 16. But, I could get it right now, being 15, its just that in November, is when I will have all the needed funding, and its expensive, but i have been saving ALOT, and my parents are helping me since its helping me build on my career. Hopefully I will take my solo in february, which is when I fly by myself from Missouri, to Kansas, to Nebraska, to Iowa, to Illinois, and then back here to Missouri. The only catch is that I can only fly my self until im 17, but none the less, im so excited!

Sorry, im rambling.... Anyways, I sure hope you feel better!

 

[Tommy]

wow, how much is this going to cost!

 

[satyrical]

1) Connor, that is freakin' amazing.

2) Tommy, I definitely felt the same way when I was in high school. All the hormones surging through your body as part of puberty tend to play with your brain, making your emotions a lot more intense. But Connor had it right- things are going to get better. You'll get through this, and in a few years you'll look back and laugh. It's certainly what I've been doing.

It will be hard now, but it will end. There is a light at the end of this dark tunnel. I promise.

 

[Butterfly Mage]

Hi Tommy!

Hey... you sound like you have clinical depression. What you describe is a textbook example of the progression of that illness. If you're tired all the time, leave the house only for work/school, have lost interest in things that used to make you happy, and have let your relationships lapse, you most likely have clinical depression.

That is REALLY EASY to fix. But you need to see your doctor and tell him/her what you are experiencing. there are a lot of depression meds that have very few side effects. You could be feeling a heck of a lot better in 3-4 weeks.

I take Effexor. The only side effect is that it makes me sweat a little more than I used to. But its an easily tolerated drug. Before I was on the medicine, I was pretty much curled up in a ball when not at work.

The modern psych meds don't make you stoned, drowsy, lethargic, or euphoric. They just correct neurotransmitter levels in the brain. People with clinical depression aren't weak or losers. They are people who, for some reason, have bodies that synthesize too little of certain chemicals that the brain needs in order to function correctly. The depression medicines stimulate the correct production of those chemicals.

So... go see your doctor.

You're not a loser. You're not a failure. You haven't failed in life. You simply have an illness. I've been there. You'll feel a lot better soon if you get some help!

 

[dinorider]

I can see where you're coming from Tommy. Right now I'm living at home with my parents for the first time in a year, I've dropped out of my university class (without telling my parents) and I haven't got a job. So I'm basically shut in the house all day pretending I go to school. So yeah, I'm kinda depressed. I still don't think it isn't gonna turn around and get better, and I think it will for you too.

Searching for a job is what really keeps me going. It's something I can look forward to. Getting a job means having something to do all day, and eventually getting a new place of my own. So I guess what I'm saying is try to put your mind on something in the future that you can look forward to and enjoy. That can help you not only thinking about the bad situation you're in right now, but focusing on something positive.

 

[Tommy]

1) Connor, that is freakin' amazing.

2) Tommy, I definitely felt the same way when I was in high school. All the hormones surging through your body as part of puberty tend to play with your brain, making your emotions a lot more intense. But Connor had it right- things are going to get better. You'll get through this, and in a few years you'll look back and laugh. It's certainly what I've been doing.

It will be hard now, but it will end. There is a light at the end of this dark tunnel. I promise.

live in england, i left school and now i am working

 

[EmeraldsAndLime]

Teenage angst... I think we all get to this stage at some point, where we realise that our life isn't quite what we imagined it to be.

Just what I'm picking up from your post, it seems your biggest concern is that you're losing (or have lost) most/all of your friends. Realise that friends come and go, and that the people you know from high school more than likely aren't going to be the same people you hang out with when you reach mid-life. As you progress along, you'll meet new people, make new friends and lose your most of your old one's eventually. Just as a prime example, I rarely see some of my friends from school, and I only graduated 2 years ago! I can't even fathom what it's going to be like in 10, or even 20 years time.

Believe me when I say that school isn't the be all, end all of your life. Popularity isn't going to follow you through into whatever career you choose, and you'll be lucky to have any girlfriend last longer than 6 months out of graduation (and even if it does, I don't see it lasting much longer). The inward force from peer pressure shouldn't be something that gets the better of you. If people are choosing to not be your friend, then perhaps reflect on yourself as to why they may be acting this way, but also respect that that's their prerogative.

As you find yourself placed in new situations, you'll encounter those who are in the same predicament as you. If you have trouble making friends, then this is always a good starting point to get conversation rolling. I'll assume you are going to university/college - that place alone is a socialite heaven. There is such a huge array of people with differing ideals that it would be next to impossible to not be able to find someone you get along with.

Overall though, don't judge yourself so harshly and don't reach the brash conclusion that you fail at life. You are only 16 and you've still a lot of development left to go. Failing is an integral part of maturing into a young adult, you just have to learn from your mistakes. To me, that's the biggest life lesson you can be taught. Take heed from your past to improve your future, don't mope about and think you are forever stuck in a rut. Negativity will get you nowhere. Look toward what you can accomplish and achieve those goals instead.

 

[Verscha]

Tommy, you haven't failed at life. You've barely begun it!

I'm afraid that it's my assessment that you're just experiencing one of the many lows of being a teenager. However, I'm not simply going to tell you to suck it up, since having been there myself, I know it can be really hard.

I know it sounds unbearably difficult, but you just have to weather it out. Life will start looking up for you sooner or later. You won't be lonely forever; you will make new friends in time. Until that happens, you have to try your best to keep yourself occupied.

Teenage life is full of ups and downs, and you just so happen to be experiencing a rather extended down. But don't worry, things will change for the better... sooner or later, suddenly or gradually.

Hang in there.

 

[Fire2box]

Hey, basically i fail at life.

I no longer have many friends, i never leave the house unless for family or work, i used to be out every single day!

I just feel depressed, like i have failed life and i am only 16! I wish i could go back 4 or 5 years, stay friends with my old mates, have a popular school life, and maybe a girl friend..

I just feel so down, i can't stop thinking about it. I wish i could just go to my old best mates house and go out like we used to. But no, we are now to different. I lost contact.

Now, i only have friends that are much older than me, i have no contact with school friends, and i only left 3 months ago!

What shall i do? Please help, i am feeling so down

I have one friend in real life now whole lives about 45 miles away. I am 20 years old (almost 21) and I am still legally in the high school education system since I pretty much gave up on my senior project. That's one of the final requirements from graduating from my school district in California. I went back last month to finally finish it off now I need to wait for approval.

I never once been on a date or had a girlfriend. The only family that's left in my town is my dad and my aunt. I only seen three of my 8 cousins in the past 3 years.

Anyways my point is that we all have problems and the trick is not to let it get you down. I think what keeps me going is that I know I'll be happy again at some point.


Oh also we got about maybe 60-70 years of like ahead of us if we meet the average.

 

[ballucanb]

I think you just need to get out more, just get yourself out of the house at least once a day, get a routiene like going for a coffee, or to a local store just to walk around.

I get depressed very easily myself, but I make it a point to leave my house everyday, and just go to McDonalds, get a soda and have a few yougarts, and I also make it a point to go someplace if I need something like stamps, or the grocery store.

Since I moved here 4 years ago I do that everyday, it lifts my spirts just to talk to the people at the counter, and they all know me there now and get my order ready before I get to pay.

Just getting out of the house, will do you a world of good, if it's just for an hour or so like I do, very soon I will be starting my winter walks, I just get dressed warm and go for about 2 hours, it keeps the weight off, and makes you stonger.

Hopefully you will feel better soon, it's not easy being alone at any age, but you can cope if you do something other than sitting home, and feeling sorry for yourself, I know I have done it.

 

[mizzycub]

Mate, I know how you feel, except for the fact I don't think I was every visiting friends regularly. I can't really give advice, because that would be hypocritical. If I knew what to do I would be doing it myself. Still, if you ever want to talk to someone you have my MSN. Who knows, we can complain at each other about how bad we feel?

As for going out, I have decided to force myself to go somewhere weekly. Not always the same place, just to get me out of the house. Perhaps you should do that to, whether you want to or not. You will probably enjoy it far more then you think.

 

[Tommy]

thanks everyone

 

[Takashi]

Sorry to hear your down Tommy. :hug: It will get better.

 

[ballucanb]

Tommy we all get down sometimes, and that is just how life is, but it will pass, your a young guy with the whole world in front of you, grab on and go for a ride and enjoy yourself.

 

[Figz]

Aww, man, that sucks.

As a sufferer (is that a word? xD) of depression for as long as I can remember, I know what it's like.

But I bet you'll be an extremley sucesssful adult with a great job and a girlfriend.

Just keep your chin up, man.



And sorry; I fail at helping. Dx

 

[Ace]

Tommy, I'm positive that you are a great person and there's a lot in life to be happy about. I know that a lot of things can get all of us down and in a funk, its happened to me before too. Here's what worked for me, I got out and found something that I liked, but couldn't judge me in any way. Essentially, go out and enjoy the world for what it is, find your "zen" so to speak.

Me, I love to go out and enjoy the beauty of nature. Go for a walk in the woods, or the park if you don't have woods near you, go fishing (my preference), go biking, whatever, just make sure to turn off the cell phone. If nothing else, when you go out and do that, the world doesn't have it's grips on you, at least for a while and you'll be amazed what it can do to cleanse your mind and it will make you feel a lot better.

 

[Maverick]

Hey, basically i fail at life.

I no longer have many friends, i never leave the house unless for family or work, i used to be out every single day!

I just feel depressed, like i have failed life and i am only 16! I wish i could go back 4 or 5 years, stay friends with my old mates, have a popular school life, and maybe a girl friend..

I just feel so down, i can't stop thinking about it. I wish i could just go to my old best mates house and go out like we used to. But no, we are now to different. I lost contact.

Now, i only have friends that are much older than me, i have no contact with school friends, and i only left 3 months ago!

What shall i do? Please help, i am feeling so down

Well, honestly, with that approach, you are going to eventually fail at life. You ought to maintain a more optimistic approach. Think about it: You're sixteen years old. You haven't failed at life just yet, and there are a whole wave of opportunities awaiting you.

It's good to be in touch with your feelings, and it's good that you know why you're feeling depressed. Sometimes people can't look inside of themselves and figure out why they're depressed. However, I think you should focus on some hobbies and try to focus on the good aspects of yourself. Drowning yourself in a sea of depression is never good.

People come, people go. It will happen throughout your entire life. We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand. So, you ought to get out and find people with common interests as you. Believe me, I'm far from being a social expert, but I think this is the easiest way for people to make friends. Good luck! Hope life takes a turn for the better for you!