[ Dear Diary... ]

lilgirllil

Est. Contributor
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Role
Diaper Lover, Little, Other
[ Be patient with this story...I promise you won't be disappointed. ]

01/01/2015

My New Year's Resolution: Meet a man! I'm 25 in two weeks and I've got zero love life to show for it! I mean, honestly, what have I been doing with my whole life!? I tried college - graduated with some generic degree I'll never find a job with, so I've moved back to my old town for the time being. Can't be all that bad, can it?? I mean, most of the horrible people I went to high school with have already moved on to some grand, undeserved life and have babies and stuff...so, for the most part, none of them are here to recharge their attempts at making my life hell. Still, it's nice being close to my parents again and - okay, it's nice having their help too. Anyway, more later!

...later...

So...I just ventured into town to get some groceries and you will never guess who I ran into! MY EX BOYFRIEND FROM FRESHMAN YEAR! I know, right!? Insane. It felt good, ya know? To see him. I thought it would be horrifying, but he's grown now and single and we're going for coffee tomorrow! Can you believe it happened so fast!? Me. Either. Oh! His name is Jonathan Bradly. So generic, I know...but still! Well, now I gotta unpack the fancy clothes box...never thought I'd be doing that so soon. Anyway, more tomorrow!


01/02/2015

I want to die.

Ok...so, met Jonathan at the coffee shop. I wore my tightest jeans, my best, boob-showing ensem, and when he walked in I dazzled him with the brightest smile. The date was going so well. The little coffee shop was privately owned and had the most comfortable atmosphere that we ended up talking and reminiscing for hours. I always have a bottle of water with my coffee and it wasn't until around my 4th cup that I realized, I'd had too much fluid and not enough release. Still, I couldn't bring myself to get up from that table and go to the bathroom...I don't know why I didn't just go. UGH. Stupid. STUPID Jana. Stupid! I thought:
It's fine...I'll wait until we leave and rush home...I can hold it...like an adult. I was wrong. So. Wrong.

The date was coming to a close and he leaned across the table to kiss me...I leaned across the table and I felt it - that urge. That "if you lean one more time, the flood will come" urge, so I accepted the sweet kiss - but Jonathan wanted another. Of course he got one - because, he's beautiful and the connection was real, but I'd put too much pressure on my bladder for too long and when I stood to walk out with him...gravity took its evil, twisted toll.


My bladder had given up so completely that I didn't even realize I was wetting until I felt the heat - and the worse part?? I couldn't stop it! I just stood there...crying, unable to stop what had started. I wet my very tight jeans right there on the cobble stone floor. It wasn't until I looked up that I realized, Jonathan didn't look surprised or disgusted at all. I RAN, sobbing to my car, sat down in my wet jeans and empty bladder and here I am.

Life is over.

I'll need witness protection.

I want to die.
 
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