Cross My Heart

SecondChoice

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  1. Diaper Lover
So this is the first story I've ever written, ABDL or otherwise. I wanted to write a story that didn't immediately start with "Timmy wet his bed and suddenly he was back in diapers" so I tried to add some background. It ended up shorter than I planned, but I had fun writing it!




Introduction​

“Just go for it. The beginning is the toughest part to get over, and then it’s all….downhill from there,” I chuckled a little to myself, but Sara was not amused. She stood, straddling her bike at the top of the mountain, looking down.

“I just…I don’t think I can do this! I’m not ready, and I should never have joined this stupid mountain biking club!” Sara threw her bike to the ground and plopped down on a rock, defeated. I couldn’t help noticing how cute she was, even when she was upset. I hopped off of my bike and went to sit by her.

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine, trust me! We’ve known each other for, what, several months now and have I ever lead you astray?” I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her in close.

“I would hardly call being my neighbor in the apartment across the hall ‘knowing’ each other, Dave,” she playfully punched me on the arm, “but yeah, you’re right. I know you’ve never lied to me, and I think I can do it, I just….it’s a mountain, Dave.”

“Don’t think of it like a mountain, see it more as a big hill,” I said, winking at her. In truth, I was scared too. The only reason I’d started into this club was so that I could get close to Sara, and get a chance to ask her out. I grabbed Sara by the hands and pulled her to her feet. She was a good few inches taller than me, but I was determined to look like her knight in shining armor right now.

“It’ll be fun, and I’ll be right behind you.” We walked back over to her bike and I picked it up for her and popped out the kick stand. She straddled the bike once again, still looking apprehensive about the steep slope in front of us.

“I know, I know it’s just…are you sure that I’ll be okay?”

“Cross my heart,” I assured her, brushing a lock of her curly brown hair out of her eyes. “In sixty seconds we’ll both be at the bottom, ready to do it again.”

“Okay, as long as you’re sure.” She walked herself over to the edge until her front tire was inches away from the drop off. I saw her look down, and her eyes got real wide and she tried backing up, but I was there behind her to stop her.

“Hey, don’t worry, I’m right here. You’ve done plenty of other hills; this one’s just a little steeper. You’ve got this.” I gave her back a little push and she started to roll forward again. She put on the brakes just as she was about to go over.

“I don’t know Dave, can we please just wait a bit? Maybe come back tomorrow?”

“Uhh yeah, sure. Here, I’ll pull you back up a little. I understand being scared, I’m nervous, too.” I grabbed the back of her bike and started to pull, trying to dig my feet in on the loose gravel. However, her bike wouldn’t budge, and I before I knew it my feet were slipping and I was falling.
Everything next seemed to happen in slow motion.
I fell to the ground, my feet kicking out wildly as Sara was looking back at me. My foot made contact with her back tire, and started her bike slowly rolling forward. Sara was too concerned with me to notice that she’d started moving, and I was still dazed from the fall. I watched as her front tire broke the edge of the hill, and then in seconds she was gone from my sight.
“No! SARA!” I scrambled over to the edge of the mountain, spotting the disappearing speck that was Sara speeding down the mountain. I started to run down, hoping that I’d be able to catch up to her. I could hear her screaming on the way down, her bike wobbling dangerously on her descent while I looked on helplessly.

And then all of the sudden, she stopped.

Rather, her bike stopped. Sara kept moving forward, her inertia causing her to slam into the ground and continue to tumble down the hill. She bounced around like a rag doll, her head smashing into rocks as she fell. She finally came to a halt, and I could only pray that her helmet had worked properly. I ran faster, racing against time to be by Sara’s side.

When I finally got caught up to her, the sight that met me almost made me throw up. She had cuts all over her arms and face, and her right leg was bent out at an odd angle. She was bleeding from a huge gash on her chest, but I was just thankful to see that it was rising and falling. She was breathing. I pulled out my cell phone and called 9-1-1.


Six months later​


I don’t know why I didn’t go. I’d come to accept that the accident wasn’t my fault; therapy had helped with that. But I just couldn’t face her. I couldn’t look Sara in the eye and be able to hide my shame.

She was in a coma for the first month. It was never really touch-and-go, but still a serious situation. The blow to her head had knocked her out, so she hadn’t felt her leg break, but now they were investigating for signs of brain damage. There was probably a whole laundry list of things wrong with her, but I wouldn’t know. I never went to visit her after she woke up.

I was too afraid. Afraid that she’d hate me. This perfect girl who I’d wanted to ask out. This girl who I’d convinced to go mountain biking, who I’d told that everything was going to be okay. This girl that I’d broken. At least, that’s what I thought at first. Later, I started to feel guilty about not going, and then my anxiety started to build up. I didn’t have an excuse not to go, but still I didn’t.

I heard later from a friend that she’d gotten out and was recovering well after two months in the hospital. By then I still wasn’t able to face her, so I locked myself inside my room. It wasn’t until a couple weeks later that I saw a stranger entering the apartment across the hall. Sara had moved out. It was probably for the best, I don’t know what I’d say to her anyway. I was starting to feel better myself, so out of sight, out of mind was okay by me.

Late night trips to the gym were what kept me focused. I wasn’t in great shape, and I hadn’t made any progress really, but just the distraction was nice to have. I liked it better at night, because the gym was empty and I could walk outside in peace after I was done when I was in the mood. Tonight was one such night, and I walked down my regular path, breathing in the cool night air. I’d stayed at the gym later than I normally would, so my muscles were sore from my workout. I stopped at one point to stretch out my legs, not noticing the figure that had come up behind me. Before I knew it, I felt a sharp blow to my head, and the world went dark.


I came to feeling the throbbing in my head, like I had the world’s worst migraine. The light in the room was dim, and I couldn’t really make anything out. I noticed shapes on the walls, but it was too dark to tell. The door was closed and there was no window; no sign to tip me off as to what had happened or where I was. I noticed that I couldn’t move either. Somehow, I was restrained against my will in this strange room. I searched the room with my eyes, looking for any sign as to where I might be, and it was then that I heard static, and then a voice as if from an intercom.

“Hello, David. Glad to see you’re finally awake. I was worried about you for a minute there.” Even in my disoriented state, I could tell who the voice belonged to.

“Sara? Sara can you hear me? Where am I? What happened to me? Help me, I can’t move!”

“Oh you’re not supposed to be able to move, Dave. That’s what the sedative is for. You’ll get some motor control back as it wears off, but that won’t be for a while.”

“Please, what is happening? Why are you doing this?”

“Why am I doing this? Why did you leave me alone in that hospital? Why did you never visit? Why did you convince me to up that mountain in the first place? All great questions that I never got the answer to. But I don’t want the answers anymore, Dave. I want something else.”

I felt tears start streaming down my face. “I’m sorry Sara! I was afraid! I didn’t know how to face you!”

“So childish, Dave. Do you know what I went through? The coma, the broken leg, the head trauma. I lost control of my bladder. I had to relearn how to walk. It was like being a baby, but without someone to look after me. I thought that you’d be there to help me, but no. And to think I actually kind of liked you before. To think, that I thought you’d be there. You have no idea what it was like. But you will, Dave.”

“What do you mean?” I tried to move my legs, but they still wouldn’t budge. “Please, Sara, I’m begging you! Just let me up, I’m sorry!”

“Are you afraid, Dave? Scared? Alone? Have no idea what’s going on? Well don’t worry. Just like you told me. Everything is going to be okay.”


I must have passed out at some point during the night, exhausted from the struggle of trying to move and crying in shock, but it was a bright light that finally snapped me back into reality. I blinked my eyes a few times as my vision came into focus, realizing at the same time that I was able to flex my fingers. Any motion was good motion, I thought, but I did notice that I felt some type of soft fabric around my hands. When I could finally see properly, I looked around, and stared around the room open-mouthed.

The shapes that I’d seen on the walls were pictures. Colorful cartoons of baby animals, bears and bunnies and birds all throughout, intermixed with building blocks. In the corner was what looked like a bed with bars around it. A crib maybe, but unlike any crib that I’d ever seen. It looked large, but it was difficult to tell from my spot on the floor and with my limited range of motion. On the other side of the room was a dresser of some sort. It had three rows of long drawers, and was rather short, standing about four feet tall. The top of it was bare except for what looked like a white blanket of some kind. Everything in the room led me to believe it was a nursery.

“Ah fuck, Sara. What have you done?” I said, mostly to myself.

The intercom crackled again. “Oh, he’s awake, perfect! I heard you over the monitor. I’ll be right in and we’ll have a little chat.”

A few moments later, I heard the door open and Sara walked into my view. I noticed that she had a slight limp. She stood in front of me, just staring down at my motionless body. I stared back, trying to gauge the situation. Despite some barely-noticeable scars on her face, she was still as beautiful as ever. She’d always been taller than me, but from here she made me feel like an ant. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she had on a simple white blouse and a black skirt. Her green eyes, always so inviting before, pierced into me like daggers. Finally, she grabbed a step stool from near the dresser-thing and pulled it over, sitting down in front of me.

“Hi Dave.”

“Um….hello? What’s going on? Sara, what are you doing?” I looked up at her, my eyes pleading.

“Shhh shhh, Davey, don’t worry. I told you, you’re going to be okay. You have nothing to worry about. This is just a little…payback, I guess you’d say. For leaving me alone. For abandoning me.” I couldn’t help but notice that she was smiling the whole time as she said it.

“Payback? What do you mean? I’m….I’m sorry Sara! I didn’t mean it, I just couldn’t face you!”

“Well here I am, Dave, you’re facing me now. I bet you wish it was under different circumstances, but that’s really your fault, now, isn’t it? Don’t answer that,” she snapped as I opened my mouth to respond. “Don’t talk until I finish what I have to say.” She smoothed out her skirt and took a deep breath, collecting herself.

“You broke me, Dave. Not because of the accident, I know that was just an accident. I don’t blame you for it, at all actually. What I do blame you for is abandoning me. I woke up from that coma expecting you to be there by my side, to comfort me. But you weren’t there,” she said, tears appearing in her eyes. “You never were. Throughout my entire recovery, not a visit, not a phone call, nothing.”

“Sara, I’m sorry, I told you…”

“I told you to shut up, Dave!” she snapped at me, and I immediately shut my mouth.

“I walk with a limp now, and probably will forever. Sometimes I still wet myself, because of the internal damage. You don’t have any idea what it’s like to have to re-potty train yourself. To have to learn how to walk again. To be utterly and completely helpless. But you will, Dave. I’m going to make sure of that.” She was smiling again, and it was the most sinister smile I’d ever seen. She fell silent, so I took the opportunity to speak up.

“Sara, what do you mean? What do you mean I’ll find out what it’s like? Please, Sara, I’m sorry just tell me what is going on.”

“It’s really simple, actually. You’re going to find out what it was like for me, and I’m going to be there the whole way. I’m going to make you completely helpless, so you know what it’s like to desperately need someone for even the most basic of things.”

“Helpless? Like…are you going to break my leg?” I started freaking out and hyperventilating.

“Oh, no no no, Dave. I’m not that cruel. Think of it like…going back to when you were a baby. That’s essentially what I’m going to do to you. You’ll have to “learn” how to walk again, just like I did. You’ll have to potty train. You’ll be just like a little….well big, baby. Everything that I went through, just a little different. I’ll actually be here to take care of you through it.”

I tried to wrap my head around what she was saying as my breathing returned to normal. “I don’t understand. Like a baby? But I know how to walk. I know how to use the bathroom.”

“Oh you do, now, yes. That’s all part of the process. To start, that drug I gave you slowly deteriorates your muscle function. It’s not enough to cause permanent damage, but over time your legs won’t be able to support your weight. And as for the bladder, that’ll be a little different. You need to be incontinent before you can be potty trained. As far as I’ve read about the drug, you’ll still maintain most of your control of your bladder, so I’m going to begin the un-potty training process on you. The drugs will hopefully help speed the process on a little, but you’ll be in diapers 24/7 from now on until you’re totally dependent on them. And then after that, I’ll slowly wean you off the drugs and we’ll revert you back to adulthood. You’ll be totally dependent on me the whole time, and as long you cooperate I think you’ll be rehabilitated after about six months.”

“What? Diapers? Six months?!? Sara, I can’t! I have work, responsibilities. What will my family think?”

“Oh don’t worry; I’ve taken care of all of that. I called your work and told them that you quit, and I have enough money from my insurance payment to last for quite some time. Oh, and I sent a message to your parents that you’re taking some time off to go hiking in Europe. So don’t worry, it’s all covered. And yes, diapers. Speaking of which, you’ve probably really gotta go to the bathroom, so you’d better get to it.” She stood and walked over to the door. “That diaper had better be wet by the time I come back,” she said as she closed the door behind her.

Her sudden disappearance left me stunned as I tried to process her words. That diaper? What diaper? Finally being able to move around, I looked down at what I was wearing.

It was what I can only describe as a large onesie. It was a light blue color, and had long sleeves. There were mittens attached to the ends of the sleeves which I tried to pull off, but they prevented me from getting a good hold of anything. I could see buttons at the bottom of the onesie near my crotch, which also looked noticeably thicker than normal. I tried to squeeze my legs together to no avail. All that I heard was a foreign, plastic sound, like a crinkle.

I patted the foreign lump with a gloved hand, and was greeted by more crinkling. It was thick. Now that I was aware of it, I couldn’t help noticing how soft it felt against my bottom. I was diapered. I was in trouble. I did have a faint urge to pee, but I put that to the back of my mind.

“Alright, Dave, let’s figure this shit out,” I whispered to myself, trying to remain calm.

I managed to prop myself up with one hand and shakily get to my feet. The bulk between my legs was even more obvious when I was standing, and I took a tentative step forward. My legs held firm, so I attempted another step and immediately fell to the ground. My padded bottom kept it from hurting, and my determination kept me from being dissuaded. After a couple more attempts I was up and able to walk around a bit.

I first tried the door. I expected it to be locked, but to my surprise I could feel it turning slightly. However, despite trying with both hands, my mittens wouldn’t allow me to get it much further and the knob spun back to its original position.

Having no luck with the door, I decided to explore the rest of the room. Maybe there would be something in here to help me get these damned gloves off. I skipped the crib, noting that it was in fact just a very large bed with bars on all sides. I turned first to the long cabinet with the white blanket on top of it. The long drawers had handles that offered me more purchase than the door knob, so I was able to pull them open after a struggle. What I found inside did not offer me any help with my predicament.

The whole thing was filled to the brim with diapers. They looked just like baby diapers, except way bigger. Some were white with blocks on them, spelling the word “BABY” across the front. Others had teddy bears, others rabbits. The drawer below had more colorful diapers, some with spaceships and aliens on them, and some with cartoon animals and stars. I closed the drawers becoming more and more disheartened. I tried one final attempt on the doors of the closet, but was unable to get any headway with getting them open. I was stuck in this freak nursery without a way out, but a bigger problem was presenting itself. My need to pee was beginning to become desperate.

I held it as long as I could, for what seemed like hours. I tried squatting down, sitting, and pacing back and forth; anything to distract myself. I held it so long it became painful, but eventually the pressure was too much. Finally I released, partially to my relief and partially to my dismay. I had a lot of pee in me, and the floodgates were open.

I expected it to be like the time I’d wet the bed one drunken night in college. Wet pants that became warm and then very, very cold. It did feel warm, but I didn’t notice any pee streaming down the side of my leg. The diaper had done its job. I had just wet a diaper for the first time in over 20 years. The bulge around my crotch was even thicker now, and I wasn’t able to walk at all. I sank to the ground, feeling my now-wet diaper squish beneath me. Sitting in it wasn’t actually unpleasant. If anything, the diaper was squishier than before. What was unpleasant was the feeling of shame that overcame me. The emotion of everything that had just happened started to get to me and I burst into tears. I sat there on the floor of the nursery. A grown man, crying, alone, wearing a onesie and a wet diaper.


A short while later, the door opened again and Sara entered. I was huddled in the corner, too ashamed to move.

“And how is my little baby doing? Did he go potty in his diaper like a good boy?” She walked over to me, kneeling down on the floor in front of me. I couldn’t bring myself to look at her, and I didn’t want to look down at my full diaper, so I just shut my eyes as tight as I could. I felt her pat the front of my diaper.

“Hmm, it seems like someone might have a wet diaper. Let me get a better look.” She said it all in a sing-song voice, as if she was speaking to an actual baby. She unbuttoned the crotch of my onesie and stuck a finger inside my soaked diaper. “Oh, yes you did! You did such a good job wetting your diaper like a little baby, Davey. I think we should probably get you changed.”

That finally got my attention. “No, Sara. This is madness. Get me out of this diaper and then let’s talk about this like adults! What you’re doing is crazy!” I shoved her away from me and she fell back on the floor. As she landed her skirt came up, revealing a plain, medical diaper underneath. Sara quickly pulled her skirt back down.

“Now, now, Davey, that wasn’t very nice. Good boys don’t act like that.” She reached out again to pull me up, but I slapped her hand away.

“That was the last straw, Dave.” She grabbed my arm and pulled me up, dragging me over to the stool. I could do nothing to stop her; she was much stronger than she looked. She sat down on the stool and bent me over her knee. “You’re getting spankings for hitting me Davey, but you get to decide how you want them. You can either have them with your diaper on or off. Which will it be?”

I’d do anything to get me out of this diaper. “Off,” I said.

Sara stood me up and started to loosen the tapes. “Okay, so it’s twenty-five spankings with the diaper off. Too bad too, it would have only been twenty with it on.” I was unperturbed, I just wanted out of this wet diaper. It was beginning to get uncomfortable. Sara finally got the tapes loose enough and the diaper fell to the floor around my feet, making a solid thud. She again pulled me over her knee.

Without warning, the first blow hit. “Oww!” I cried out. It had been much more painful than I’d anticipated. She struck again, slapping the other cheek. After five spanks I stopped yelling out, reduced to quiet tears. I wanted this to end.

“Please, Sara. No more.” She stopped, her hand in mid-swing.

“I’m sorry Davey, this is what happens when you misbehave. You’ll learn soon that it’ll be much easier on you if you listen rather than resist.” She swung again for the sixth time, and it felt more painful than all the rest. “However, I’ll allow you to wear your diaper again if you so choose. You’ll still be spanked, but the padding may provide you some protection.”

“Yes, please, anything to make it stop hurting!” I pleaded at her.

“Please what?” She push me up so I was standing again, my bare, sore bottom exposed for the empty room to see.

“The…the diaper…instead of….” I trailed off, embarrassed.

“If you want to wear your diaper, you have to say, ‘Please Miss Sara, can I wear my diaper again?’ and then I’ll put it back on you.”

My gaze found its way to the floor. “P-please Miss Sara….may I…wear the diaper again?” I stared intently at the ground.

“Whose diaper, Dave?”

I looked up at her, seeing a knowing smile on her face.

“Mine. My…diaper.” I said quietly.

“That’s right, Davey.” She had me stand up again and slid the diaper back up, retightening the tapes. It was cold now, and not nearly as comfortable as it had felt before. The rest of the spankings were much more manageable with the diaper on, though, and for that I was thankful.

With the spankings done, she pulled me over to the dresser and had me climb up on it using the step stool. I didn’t resist, I wasn’t about to put myself through more spankings. I lay down, realizing what was about to happen. Sara fully undid the tapes of the diaper this time and pulled it out from under me. She then rolled it up and tossed it in a nearby trashcan. She opened up a couple drawers and pulled out a new diaper, one with bunnies on it, and baby powder and wipes. Almost as an afterthought, she reached down again and popped a pacifier into my mouth. She wiped me down and spread baby powder on me. She lifted my ankles up, sliding the diaper underneath me as she did so. “I hope you like them, you’ll be spending a lot of time in them,” she said as she taped the new diaper on.


Later​


I lay down in my crib, my eyes growing heavy and thinking about what had happened in my life recently. After the first diaper change and those first few days, everything went pretty much as she’d told me. My legs became unable to support me, and I was forced to crawl around with my padded bum in the air. The diapers also continued, and I was now to the point where my diaper was wet before I noticed that I was going. Sara’s plan had gone just like she’d wanted.

I’d grown to accept it now, the fact that I was spending these few months in diapers. I even found parts that I enjoyed, especially the diaper changes. The feeling of being put into my new diaper was nice afterwards. The crinkliness, the padding between my legs, it was all much better than sitting in a soaked diaper, although it didn’t stay dry for long. Sara also kept to her word of completely taking care of me. She fed me and gave me my bottle, and even bathed me and put me down for naps.

I knew that soon my six months was going to be up. It was hard to keep track of the days, but I was pretty sure that there could only be at most two months left of the six. Soon she’d stop taking care of me, and I’d get my independence back slowly as I was taken out of diapers and made ready for the world again. As much as I wanted to get back to my freedom, having everything provided for me was liberating in its own way. I was going to miss this, as weird as that sounded. I smiled as I slowly started to drift off, a grown man sucking on a pacifier, alone, wearing a onesie and a wet diaper.


Seeing that Dave had fallen asleep, Sara quietly stepped into the room and stood over him while he slept. He was still sucking away on his pacifier, and his diaper was peeking out of the leg holes of his onesie. She gently brushed his hair to the side, thinking to herself how cute he was all cuddled up in his blankets.

Everything had gone just as she’d planned. Dave’s resistance had continued for a few days, but after a couple more spanking sessions he’d readily done as she bid. His diaper training had gone much faster than she thought, to the point where he was diaper dependent after the second month. The sedative must have had more of an effect on his bladder than she’d anticipated. It all worked perfectly, though; as Dave’s increased incontinence caused him to be even more reliant on her.

She was most proud of how quickly Dave grew to enjoy it. She gave him rewards throughout those first few months. A teddy bear to keep him company at night. Cartoon time when he behaved. Things that would seem like rewards to him, but were actually serving to continue his regression. She even let him pick out which kind of diapers he wanted to wear during changes. He was a fan of the alien ones, and liked to watch as they disappeared while he wet. And the whole time, he didn’t realize that making him enjoy it had been her plan all along.

She bent over and kissed him on the forehead, and saw him smile slightly behind his pacifier. She walked over to the door and looked back at him as she stood in the doorway. It had been eighteen months since that first day.

“I’ll take care of you,” she whispered. “Cross my heart.”
 
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