Could There Be Any Benefits in Telling?

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KimbaFoxNatsume

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I kinda already know that this is a questionable idea, and I'm not really seriously considering it. But gathering up some opinions is harmless, right?

So... if you're familiar with me, you might know I live in a kind of weird family dynamic. To make a long story short, I grew up homeschooled, pretty much always around my overprotective, not-very-social mother. To this day my parents are still rather overbearing.

Being an ab/dl living at home is not always the easiest. For all intents and purposes, I will probably never move out, not on my own anyway. Getting diapers and other baby stuff is kinda difficult because I don't drive and my parents are nosy.

Sometimes I think about how much easier things would be if my mother knew and was accepting of this side of me. For reference, she knows I suck my thumb and pacifiers, and sleep with stuffed animals, and wear footie pajamas, and she's alright with that. If she knew, I could order stuff like diapers and toys and not be questioned. I guess I just want that freedom to be myself.

So could telling possibly come out in my favor? Like I said, I'm not really really considering this, but anyway... It's late and I'm running on little sleep, so discuss.
 

MarchinBunny

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It could. The possibility is always there. It's really something though you have to figure out on your own, because I don't think anyone here knows your family as well as you do. However, just a word of warning ... sometimes even if you are sure your parents will be ok with something, doesn't always make that the case. So ... the possibility of it going bad is also there. The severity of how bad depends on your family.

For me, my entire family didn't want to have anything to do with me knowing I was AB/DL and also Transgender. So finding a place to go became increasingly hard as my life went on and due to that, it has put me in bad positions .. even to this day.
 

Cottontail

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Not considering it? I'm not sure I believe you. :detective2: :)

But sure, I mean... you alluded to some of the benefits yourself: Not having to be so secretive about buying supplies; not having to fear discovery, even when you're playing privately in your bedroom, etc. Even if you plan on keeping it to yourself, there are some benefits to being "out"--as long as "out" means "accepted", or at least "not rejected". That's the catch, of course. If coming out will likely welcome ridicule and lead to closer scrutiny of your private activities, then it's hard to recommend, 'cause that's a major anti-benefit!

And, naturally, I have no clear sense of whether that would be the case for you. I could suggest that, because she's already "accepted" (to some extent?) your use of a pacifier, your mom might be able to get over the diaper usage, especially if you're being reasonably private about it. Of course, there are other angles. You've several times mentioned that your dad is after you to get a job and be independent in other ways. And you do live with them--not that that's a bad thing by itself; lots of people live with their parents into adulthood. But if your parents are already in a sort of "hurry up and grow up!" mode, it's easy to imagine how your coming out--in effect, seeking approval to "grow down"--could hit a nerve.

I hope that didn't come off in any way offensive!
 

ShippoFox

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I dunno. I had to bring up the topic once or twice with my family (most of them). It didn't exactly go amazingly well... but it wasn't too bad, and it could have been much worse. I think I could have become more open about it (within reason!) if I were confident enough. I guess you can do anything with confidence, almost... but it can feel impossible to build confidence. So.... instead... I just felt embarrassed and continued mostly hiding it. So I'm not sure if they think it was a "phase" or something. I also brought up the transgender topic with my mom, and that went a similar way, sort of.... not terrible, kind of well, but definitely not great either. It sadly didn't lead to anything, and I sometimes wonder if she remembers or blocked it out.
 

babylea

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the answer to your question, is Yes and No,

firstly, the yes, if after comming out your family are accepting then yes, the benefits would be greater, as you yourself said, with regards to buying stuff..

however, if your comming out to your family is not taken well, it could make things a lot worse.

It all depends on your family and how you would approach the subject and of course what you are willing to risk.

BabyLea
 

RussyRonny

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Well, I guess I am going to go against the tide of the other commenters here and throw my own controversial two cents in.

I see this type of post all the time, and I want to contribute my opinion, which you are free to completely ignore if you want.

I do not see any reason for any ABDL to ever tell his parents about the fetish/lifestyle (I know I threw a lot of absolutes into that sentence, I mostly did it for dramatic effect).

Let me give you an example. Let's talk about John Smith, alright? John is an 18 year old male living with his parents. He has always been incredibly close with his parents, more than you can even possibly imagine. John also wants to try anal with his girlfriend. Do you think that John should go and tell his parents? What is John has already done anal, and now he loves it and does it once a week, should he tell his parents?

No, absolutely not! How would you feel if every single time your parents had sex, your dad came into your room and told you about it? What about if your dad told you that he was actually a submissive crossdresser turned on when your mom punches your dog in the face? The point is that it is simply inappropriate, regardless of how close one is with one's parents, to be discussing kinks and fetishes.

And of course, many view the ABDL as relaxing rather than sexual, or some mix of the two. However, I stand by my opinion. You wouldn't want to know if your dad wore your mom's thongs to relax, and I don't think your dad wants to know if you wear diapers to relax.

Trust me, I am incredibly close with both of my parents. I told them when I wanted to try weed for the first time, when I kissed a girl for the first time, and about every fight I've ever had with my friends. I have, just like every other ABDL out there, thought about telling them at some point. But, I realized that it is inappropriate, and in a way, pointless.

What could telling your parents possibly do for you?
  1. Secrets suck, and you're tired of hiding the truth. Telling them will let you wear your diapers in the open, without a care in the world who sees or knows! Okay, well I don't want to sound mean here, but telling for that reason is a terrible, terrible idea. First of all, you wouldn't like it if you dad had a buttplug while walking around the house, so you'd want to show him the same courtesy and not do anything related to ABDL out in the open. Second of all, this secret is for you and your significant others only. It feels good to get things off of your chest, but there are also appropriate times to do so. You wouldn't tell your math teacher that you wet the bed, just as you shouldn't tell your parents about this. One day, you'll have a significant other worthy of this secret. Until then, wait.
  2. Buying blows, and you should definitely get your parents to pay for your diapers. While I do realize that money is hard to acquire, you're 18+, get a job, make some extra cash, and buy your own diapers. Even if you did tell your parents, they wouldn't buy them for you. You're an adult. Just as your dad's parents didn't buy him any sex toys, he won't be buying you any diapers. I was 15 when I bought my first diaper, and I did so with money I had saved up from being a soccer ref. You do not need your parents to buy your diapers.
  3. Changes are cool, and I want to be a momma's boy. This is the most cringeworthy reason I have even seen for wanting to tell one's parents. You think, against all better judgement, that your parents are going to indulge you, maybe even baby you. They won't. That only happens in poorly written ABDL fiction.

On top of all of that, you need to think of everything that can go wrong telling your parents. You could completely ruin your relationship with them if they view you as some kind of freaky pedophile, or be sent to therapy. These are your parents, and you need to maintain a good, appropriate relationship with them.

Now, some may disagree with me, and I am always open to a discussion. But, I do not see any reason for an ABDL to tell his parents about the fetish, and I hope that I successfully convinced you to not.
 

KimbaFoxNatsume

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Well, I guess I am going to go against the tide of the other commenters here and throw my own controversial two cents in.

I see this type of post all the time, and I want to contribute my opinion, which you are free to completely ignore if you want.

I do not see any reason for any ABDL to ever tell his parents about the fetish/lifestyle (I know I threw a lot of absolutes into that sentence, I mostly did it for dramatic effect).

Let me give you an example. Let's talk about John Smith, alright? John is an 18 year old male living with his parents. He has always been incredibly close with his parents, more than you can even possibly imagine. John also wants to try anal with his girlfriend. Do you think that John should go and tell his parents? What is John has already done anal, and now he loves it and does it once a week, should he tell his parents?

No, absolutely not! How would you feel if every single time your parents had sex, your dad came into your room and told you about it? What about if your dad told you that he was actually a submissive crossdresser turned on when your mom punches your dog in the face? The point is that it is simply inappropriate, regardless of how close one is with one's parents, to be discussing kinks and fetishes.

And of course, many view the ABDL as relaxing rather than sexual, or some mix of the two. However, I stand by my opinion. You wouldn't want to know if your dad wore your mom's thongs to relax, and I don't think your dad wants to know if you wear diapers to relax.

Trust me, I am incredibly close with both of my parents. I told them when I wanted to try weed for the first time, when I kissed a girl for the first time, and about every fight I've ever had with my friends. I have, just like every other ABDL out there, thought about telling them at some point. But, I realized that it is inappropriate, and in a way, pointless.

What could telling your parents possibly do for you?
  1. Secrets suck, and you're tired of hiding the truth. Telling them will let you wear your diapers in the open, without a care in the world who sees or knows! Okay, well I don't want to sound mean here, but telling for that reason is a terrible, terrible idea. First of all, you wouldn't like it if you dad had a buttplug while walking around the house, so you'd want to show him the same courtesy and not do anything related to ABDL out in the open. Second of all, this secret is for you and your significant others only. It feels good to get things off of your chest, but there are also appropriate times to do so. You wouldn't tell your math teacher that you wet the bed, just as you shouldn't tell your parents about this. One day, you'll have a significant other worthy of this secret. Until then, wait.
  2. Buying blows, and you should definitely get your parents to pay for your diapers. While I do realize that money is hard to acquire, you're 18+, get a job, make some extra cash, and buy your own diapers. Even if you did tell your parents, they wouldn't buy them for you. You're an adult. Just as your dad's parents didn't buy him any sex toys, he won't be buying you any diapers. I was 15 when I bought my first diaper, and I did so with money I had saved up from being a soccer ref. You do not need your parents to buy your diapers.
  3. Changes are cool, and I want to be a momma's boy. This is the most cringeworthy reason I have even seen for wanting to tell one's parents. You think, against all better judgement, that your parents are going to indulge you, maybe even baby you. They won't. That only happens in poorly written ABDL fiction.

On top of all of that, you need to think of everything that can go wrong telling your parents. You could completely ruin your relationship with them if they view you as some kind of freaky pedophile, or be sent to therapy. These are your parents, and you need to maintain a good, appropriate relationship with them.

Now, some may disagree with me, and I am always open to a discussion. But, I do not see any reason for an ABDL to tell his parents about the fetish, and I hope that I successfully convinced you to not.

I understand what you're saying, but I just want to clear up a few points:

I don't want my parents to buy me diapers. My father provides me with a weekly allowance - he does the same for my mom, as she doesn't work either. And I don't consider pulling the ''get a job'' card completely helpful - I can't find work, and I hear it enough from my father.

I wouldn't be asking my mother to baby me. Basically, I just want to be able to get diapers and other things in the house easier, and enjoy a bottle more freely. (Which doesn't seem like asking too much, as I already suck my thumb and sometimes a pacifier around my mother anyway.)

Frankly, I probably need therapy, for other issues. I doubt my parents - and I would only be telling my mother, never my father - would ''send'' me there though.

Lastly, not to nitpick because it's not a big deal, but you seem under the impression that I am male - I'm female (though pretty androgynous).
 

diapernh

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I'm a guy first off, a mamas boy in the fact that my dad and I don't really enjoy the same things.

I am 38 now, but when I was 18 I decided that I was going to get diapers. I had tried a sample here and there and makeshifted a couple of times and decided that once and fr all while my mom was out at a meeting that I would ride my bike to Revco and buy a bag.

I got home and put one on and wet it, felt great and I loved it. I changed and put another on before she got home and then put my sweatpants back on and waited for her to come home.

"Mom, there is something I need to talk to you about, it's nothing you did or didn't do at all so don't think that..... But I like wearing adult diapers"

WHAT!!

"I like wearing adult diapers" then I lowered my sweats and showed her.

We talked about some ground rules, I did not want others to know, especially dad (who by then had moved out). I agreed to wear only at home, always covered when not in my room, she would not ever change me, etc

That was in 1996

I still share he house with her, pay the bills too. This morning I was walking around in a diaper and onsie drinking coffee and I changed into a dry diaper and walked around in just my diaper while I tried on the new shirts she got me for Christmas.

I know that it s hard to believe and I know that I am freaking lucky too
 

SpAzpieSweeTot

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Greatly snipped. My apologies for that.
You're 18+, get a job, make some extra cash, and buy your own diapers.
We've no idea who Kimba is, or if for some reason Kimba isn't employable. I think we can assume that kimba isn't itching for unhealthy parental involvement. I could be wrong, but it doesn't happen much.:lol: I assume Kimba has no problem buying her own stuff, and just wants the parental units to respect the fact that what Kimba buys with her birthday, saturnalia, or other money, belongs to Kimba.

I think what Kimba wants is similar to what I'm after. Everything in me wants to buy a baby-pants:paci:, hold it up in view of the ones I want knowing, and say, "See this? Know what it is? Good, it's mine. I bought it. It, and other cutesy personal property, will be in this spot, so no fair ripping my room apart. Get rid of it, and you and I will have problems, because I'm grown now, and I've a right to property. I promise that you're the only ones I'll use everything but the padding in front of, unless you're uncomfortable with it. I do hope you get comfortable with:paci: use when I'm in pain. No grandmas or strangers will see me use my comfort objects. Me having them isn't evidence of pedophilia. Here, read this.

You don't care what my underwear look like, as they're hidden under clothes. I also know that laundry is a pain in the ass for Mom on incontinence flair up days, and I'm tired of staining my clothes every time Aunt Flow shows up. Instead of bladder pads, I'm switching to these, (and hold up a picture of whatever brand, probably something cute, as for me, cuteness takes the sting out of both the incontinence and Aunt Flow.) I don't expect you to buy them for me, or change me. I also don't want major coronary events upon delivery. Shrink me if you must. I've my documents together. I'm okay with my identity, but adding someone else to my team is nothing but good. I've the right to choose my therapist. If my therapist can't accept what I say, I'll find another. I also have the right to stop going if and when I see fit.

Do I need to move out, or may I still live here?
 
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Cottontail

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Frankly, I probably need therapy, for other issues. I doubt my parents - and I would only be telling my mother, never my father - would ''send'' me there though.

Only telling your mother--about your want of therapy, or about AB/DL in general?

I can see where, if your aim is to get help with something, you might go for the parent you consider most able to help and console you. If you're also talking about the coming out, I would wonder if coming out to only one parent would really make things better for you. Like RussyRonny, my usual thinking on coming-outs is to avoid them unless all or most of the likely outcomes are positive. If your father is going to remain in the dark about it all, then it's not clear to me that you've made things much easier on yourself in terms of your ability to engage in AB/DL activities without fear--again, even if you mean to keep these activities private, which seems like a good idea regardless. I didn't mean to spur the whole 'job' discussion, so I apologize for that. I brought it up simply because I can imagine how your dad might be predisposed to doing battle with anything he sees as running counter to his own hopes for you. That's not me being judgmental of you, but rather simply interpreting things you've brought up previously.

Anyway... You've been here for a couple of years, Kimba, so you've surely seen these "should I come out?" threads plenty of times. The "don't tell" advice is usually good advice, because outcomes are often rather less amazing than hoped. Setting that aside for a moment, as you seem slightly determined to tell at some point: I think it's natural for a person on the receiving end of a coming-out to wonder what it is that the come-outer wants from them. Your aim in this case should be to, as quickly as possible, ensure that your mom and dad know that you are looking only to abate your constant fear of getting caught, and to relieve the emotional strain that fear is causing you on a regular basis. Reassure them that you absolutely do not mean to involve them directly in any of it, and that you intend to keep your AB/DL activities private. Tell them that, despite this seeming like a regression, it's been a painfully-suppressed part of you for many years, and that their knowing, even if they don't actively support it, will allow you to devote more of your energies to advancing yourself rather than wasting them on maintaining the secrecy of an embarrassing-yet-immutable personality trait. Finally, tell them that you understand how this admission might disappoint and concern them, and stress that you intend to reward their enduring faith in you, proving that coming out was not a means to some selfish end, but was a necessary emotional hurdle on the path to getting your life together.

Or something like that.
 

KimbaFoxNatsume

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Only telling your mother--about your want of therapy, or about AB/DL in general?

I can see where, if your aim is to get help with something, you might go for the parent you consider most able to help and console you. If you're also talking about the coming out, I would wonder if coming out to only one parent would really make things better for you. Like RussyRonny, my usual thinking on coming-outs is to avoid them unless all or most of the likely outcomes are positive. If your father is going to remain in the dark about it all, then it's not clear to me that you've made things much easier on yourself in terms of your ability to engage in AB/DL activities without fear--again, even if you mean to keep these activities private, which seems like a good idea regardless. I didn't mean to spur the whole 'job' discussion, so I apologize for that. I brought it up simply because I can imagine how your dad might be predisposed to doing battle with anything he sees as running counter to his own hopes for you. That's not me being judgmental of you, but rather simply interpreting things you've brought up previously.

Anyway... You've been here for a couple of years, Kimba, so you've surely seen these "should I come out?" threads plenty of times. The "don't tell" advice is usually good advice, because outcomes are often rather less amazing than hoped. Setting that aside for a moment, as you seem slightly determined to tell at some point: I think it's natural for a person on the receiving end of a coming-out to wonder what it is that the come-outer wants from them. Your aim in this case should be to, as quickly as possible, ensure that your mom and dad know that you are looking only to abate your constant fear of getting caught, and to relieve the emotional strain that fear is causing you on a regular basis. Reassure them that you absolutely do not mean to involve them directly in any of it, and that you intend to keep your AB/DL activities private. Tell them that, despite this seeming like a regression, it's been a painfully-suppressed part of you for many years, and that their knowing, even if they don't actively support it, will allow you to devote more of your energies to advancing yourself rather than wasting them on maintaining the secrecy of an embarrassing-yet-immutable personality trait. Finally, tell them that you understand how this admission might disappoint and concern them, and stress that you intend to reward their enduring faith in you, proving that coming out was not a means to some selfish end, but was a necessary emotional hurdle on the path to getting your life together.

Or something like that.

About ab/dl in general.

Well, I don't want to tell my dad for two reasons. First off, I know he wouldn't like it. Secondly, he works a full-time job, Monday to Friday, 9 to 5. So a good chunk of the time it's just me and my mom here at the house. My mom is one who doesn't shy away from keeping things from my dad when she sees fit, for good or bad. I know I've talked about this before on the forums, but my mom was actually the one who bought me pacifiers when I was 16, and kept them (and my thumbsucking) a secret from my dad until I told him myself.

It's not really that I fear being discovered, it's just that for me, getting diapers and stuff is such a pain in the ass. If I could just order online without being questioned about packages arriving for me and credit-card charges, or be able to plop a toy or a pack of pull-ups in the cart when I go shopping with my mom (me paying for them), things would just be simpler. I mean, I guess my methods have been working alright for the past two years, and that's why I've never really come close to telling my mother, but they're not ideal either.

It wouldn't be completely fair to say that this has been a painfully-suppressed part of me for many years though. Yes, the interest did stir in me as a young child, but thankfully it didn't trouble me to the point of scheming for diapers (or more specifically, stuff like Pull-Ups) - and back then, it was only sexual. My ab side didn't really start coming out until a few years ago. If I did discuss this with my mother, I would most likely want to leave the sexual aspect out.
 
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SpAzpieSweeTot

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And the efficient and effective communicator award goes to. . . Cottontail!

I feel you, Kimba. Your identity is your parent or parents' business, as you see fit, but your sex life stopped being their beeswax after, "the talk."
 

Zendot

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No, absolutely not! How would you feel if every single time your parents had sex, your dad came into your room and told you about it? What about if your dad told you that he was actually a submissive crossdresser turned on when your mom punches your dog in the face? The point is that it is simply inappropriate, regardless of how close one is with one's parents, to be discussing kinks and fetishes.

And of course, many view the ABDL as relaxing rather than sexual, or some mix of the two. However, I stand by my opinion. You wouldn't want to know if your dad wore your mom's thongs to relax, and I don't think your dad wants to know if you wear diapers to relax.

I don't completely disagree with what you said but i don't think the comparison with sex or sexual kinks is very accurate. There's no problem saying i'm into this or that but there's no need to go into details. For example, nobody wants to know what their parents do in their bedroom, but we know they have or had sex with each other, we just don't know and don't want to know the details.

It's the same thing, we know humans have sex, we know some people have some weird interests, telling others about it doesn't mean you have to go into detail.

But in general i agree with what you said, that's why i haven't told any of my parents even though i had start considering it recently.
 

attends10

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When I was young (a very long time ago..pre internet) around 8 or 9 years old, I was using pampers that I found in a closet to keep from wetting the bed. One day I had plans to go over a friends house, when my parents found my diapers. They MADE ME call my friends and tell them I could not go over because I wore diapers. They stood by the PHONE and made me call. I am 40 years old now but it traumatized me so much... that I still get pissed off to this day. I just did not want to get beat for wetting the bed. Now that I have kids I know that I would never, ever, treat my kids like that.

Anyway, I could have been a passive person and just let my parents not understanding control my life. I could have just felt sorry for myself and never have done anything with my life. THANK GOD I didn't. I credit that one episode with turning my personality into type A. I joined the Air force and left for basic before I even had a chance to go to my high school graduation. I haven't lived with my parents since. I am now 40, own my house, car, have a wife and 3 kids. I have the money to buy all the diapers I want and wear whenever I want. ( I am respectful of my wife and kids... so I obviously dont flaunt it around them).

You will never fully realize the joy of diapers until dont have somebody controlling you and telling you what to do.

I dont know who you are or if you have disabilities. If you dont...... my advise is to spread your wings and get out from under your parents. Being a diaper lover is just a small part of who I am and for you, you need to grow the other parts of your life so you can have the time and money to play a baby.

I also dont think you should tell anybody besides another AB or DL. That includes your parents. They just dont have the capacity to understand and its a fools errand to think they will. Keep your playing low key... and if they find something just say your an adult and you dont have to explain yourself.

I feel sorry for you. I know how it feels to not be able to get diapers to enjoy.
 
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MarchinBunny

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No, absolutely not! How would you feel if every single time your parents had sex, your dad came into your room and told you about it? What about if your dad told you that he was actually a submissive crossdresser turned on when your mom punches your dog in the face? The point is that it is simply inappropriate, regardless of how close one is with one's parents, to be discussing kinks and fetishes.

And of course, many view the ABDL as relaxing rather than sexual, or some mix of the two. However, I stand by my opinion. You wouldn't want to know if your dad wore your mom's thongs to relax, and I don't think your dad wants to know if you wear diapers to relax.

Trust me, I am incredibly close with both of my parents. I told them when I wanted to try weed for the first time, when I kissed a girl for the first time, and about every fight I've ever had with my friends. I have, just like every other ABDL out there, thought about telling them at some point. But, I realized that it is inappropriate, and in a way, pointless.

I actually had the same view point as you at one time, but I have changed it since I realized it was a the wrong view point to have. I now actually disagree with this view because comparing being an AB/DL to knowing about your parents sex lives isn't really comparable to begin with. Especially since being an AB/DL isn't always sexual to begin with, and also especially because hiding it can actually lead to a worse situation. I am pretty sure .. I would have been better off telling my parents about it, then having them find out. At least then I would have had help.

The other reason is a relationship from a parent to child is very different than a relationship from a child to parent. You are SUPPOSE to be able to talk to your parents. Sadly .. that simply isn't always the case. However, to just say you shouldn't tell them, to me, is not a very good opinion on the matter as everyone's parents are very different from one another. You couldn't possibly know whether or not it is or isn't a good idea.

This is why in my previous post, I put a lot of emphasis on, you know your parents best .. and thus you are the only one who can really know if it's ok or not to tell them.
 

RussyRonny

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... I now actually disagree with this view because comparing being an AB/DL to knowing about your parents sex lives isn't really comparable to begin with. Especially since being an AB/DL isn't always sexual to begin with, and also especially because hiding it can actually lead to a worse situation. I am pretty sure .. I would have been better off telling my parents about it, then having them find out. At least then I would have had help.

While I agree that the two aren't completely the same, I do believe that my comparisons hold quite a bit of validity. ABDL comes off as sexual, especially to people who know nothing about the fetish. So, many parents will view it as sexual in a kneejerk reaction when they're told, which would be incredibly inappropriate.

And while, yes, it would be 100x times better to tell them than to have them find out, I don't think either is a good thing. Punching a toddler is certainly better than stabbing your own son, but I don't recommend either.

The other reason is a relationship from a parent to child is very different than a relationship from a child to parent. You are SUPPOSE to be able to talk to your parents. Sadly .. that simply isn't always the case. However, to just say you shouldn't tell them, to me, is not a very good opinion on the matter as everyone's parents are very different from one another. You couldn't possibly know whether or not it is or isn't a good idea.

Yes, absolutely, and I encourage the open communication of all details of life with one's parents. I told my parents when I wanted to try weed for the first time! But this, I believe, marks an exception.

This is why in my previous post, I put a lot of emphasis on, you know your parents best .. and thus you are the only one who can really know if it's ok or not to tell them.

Absolutely. No one knows your parents like your parents. I can only speculate on what I think the best course of action is, and whether or not you agree is up to you. I would never tell my parents about this, and I hope that none of you would. It just doesn't seem appropriate.
 

MarchinBunny

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While I agree that the two aren't completely the same, I do believe that my comparisons hold quite a bit of validity. ABDL comes off as sexual, especially to people who know nothing about the fetish. So, many parents will view it as sexual in a kneejerk reaction when they're told, which would be incredibly inappropriate.

And while, yes, it would be 100x times better to tell them than to have them find out, I don't think either is a good thing. Punching a toddler is certainly better than stabbing your own son, but I don't recommend either.



Yes, absolutely, and I encourage the open communication of all details of life with one's parents. I told my parents when I wanted to try weed for the first time! But this, I believe, marks an exception.



Absolutely. No one knows your parents like your parents. I can only speculate on what I think the best course of action is, and whether or not you agree is up to you. I would never tell my parents about this, and I hope that none of you would. It just doesn't seem appropriate.

Again. .. you keep saying it doesn't seem appropriate because you say they would see it as something sexual. Has it ever occurred to you .. that you can explain it to them ... that it isn't?

Look, it's fine to have your own view point, but it irritates me when you say things like "I would never tell my parents about this, and I hope that none of you would." As if you are the one who knows best.

To me ... your reasoning isn't good at all because it relies on it being sexual, or viewed as being sexual.

Ok .. fine .. let's just assume that your parents do see it as sexual. Even then, it still might not be an entirely bad idea to tell them, just as long as you don't go into details. This is especially true if you are having problems with it. But to me .. it sounds like you are not considering all the different scenarios, all the different kinds of parents .. and such.

Again .. there is no right or wrong answer. It's going to entirely depend on that person's parents. I am not going state it's simply a good idea, because it might not be. But I also am not going to simply claim it's a bad idea .. because I really don't know that .. and neither do you.
 
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CrinklySiren

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Simply not living in fear is enough of a reason for me.

I lived with my parents and they knew all about my little side because I was tired of being scared of being caught every time my mom cleaned my room or found something in the trash. So I just told them and I owned up to it and said "I'm an adult, I can make my own decisions" and they just let it be.

It also comes in handy if you are living with room mates, because life is too short to live in fear.

I don't go out and shout it from the roof top, but I also don't make an effort to keep it secret because my experience has taught me that anyone who gets close enough, will eventually find out. And you can't live your life being afraid to get close to anyone for something as silly as a harmless kink or hobby, which believe me there are worse things out there.

But thsts just me. I'm 26 and I was married for 7 years, so living that way kind of makes you grow up fast and stop living for others. But still good advice!
 

DKDL

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Maybe if you could find a good daddy to take care of you, If it would give you a chance to leave the family nest, But that is a gamble that you will have to think about taking if you can find the right person, And that way you might be able to involve your self into more of the life style that you prefer.
And maybe that is why you are here at ADISC I hope you will find what you are looking for some day.
 

MoonMoon

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I remember when my parents found out, I was about 13 at the time (five years ago I guess, times gone quick). And it wasn't fun. I mean for all intensive purposes I have some very accepting parents, they've introduced me to alcohol so I'm responsible and I think I've turned out well from them. I know that if i was gay they would accept it with open arms. But my mums a bit of a germophobe (very minute) and obsessed with things smelling right. So she found some diapers and I had to explain what it was and why.

All of this being said, she didn't stop me, and she explained how to dispose of them properly (I was 13 and a bit of an eejit). And now it's a working system, I don't really wear as often as I used to, having moved twice and a new city. But she always reminded me to hide stuff with visitors and asked if there was anything that needed moving.

And I think if I told her she would have been more accepting, it would have been a softer blow. And we may have gotten to the same situation we are at now. However I can't help thinking her not knowing at all would have been the best situation?


But I've got another question to throw in the mix as well. My girlfriend of just over a year doesn't know, I've tried to tell her a long time ago but she thought me being turned on by something else meant she wasn't good enough, and I brought it up so lightly I removed the idea and she's forgotten about it. But that was over 6 months ago, should I tell her about this? I mean I wasn't wearing when we met due to moving and being too busy, but now I'm settled I find myself reverting back to ABDL. I'm not sure whether it would just break us up?
 
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