Commercials Are a Lie.

[KimbaFoxNatsume]

It's the time of year where ads are all over the TV, showing happy families at holiday gatherings... but my family is too dysfunctional to have such a thing at my house.

Mom doesn't want aunt here because she smells and is annoying, among other things, although I suspect she will eventually make an appearance. Alcoholic uncle is technically invited, but not his alcoholic in-and-out-of-psych-wards girlfriend, and I don't know if my dad is willing to tell him that. First-cousin-once-removed doesn't have a car or driver's license, and we don't have a car that can transport three car seats and two adults. Besides, the four-year-old's ADHD is so bad he couldn't sit still for a meal, so my parents don't want him here. My mom said we can bring the newborn baby but that's it.

Maybe it's for the best. I generally don't like people in my house because I feel like they're encroaching on my territory. It just seems like holidays are meant to be spent with family, and we really don't get to do that.

 

[PCBaby]

Christmas isn't a good time for me either.

 

[MaxxH]

Yeah, the commercials do paint an unrealistic picture. My side, we used to do the big holiday family things and I looked at it as an obligation more than fun. Hot, noisy, crowded, too much food.

My wife's family had a lot of the dysfunctional stuff like you. A holiday at my mother-in-law's could be a real adventure. Alcohol, diagnosed and undiagnosed manic/depressives, you never really knew how it was going to go. Since she passed (20 years ago), we don't see as much of the rest of them. On purpose. We still get the occasional request to move in with us when one or the other of the nieces and nephews fails at life.

These days, my siblings are as far apart from me and each other as it is possible to be within the continental US. Mom is in Florida, but she doesn't know what day it is, so I could call today and say Merry Christmas if I wanted. Tomorrow too, and she wouldn't remember. Junior usually goes to his in-laws in Wisconsin and Minnesota. His wife is way more extroverted and socially oriented than he is, so he just goes along with it. Mrs. Maxx is a little peeved about that, but we're close by so we get plenty of time with the grandkids all the time. Mrs. Junior is careful to make sure grandma gets special time with the kids other times. We'll have them overnight for a couple days before they go north for Thanksgiving. Fine by me, I'm not hung up on the date, and she gets to save a bunch on daycare.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

They always have been, always will be. They try and set a visual benchmark of what a person or family is and appeal to your vanity and/or guilt on that basis. I shun all ads and actually look at labels as well as price tags. And use trial/small sizes first, where possible, before making the decision to make an item part of my daily canon. You can outfox the Squealers of the Advertising Animal Farm...

...and a mute button is terrific, too.

 

[AmTheBaby]

Since my biological parents have made it abundantly clear that I am not welcome in the family, I pretty much slap on a smile and spend the holidays with my daddy's family. But, I won't lie - there's a part of me that really gets bummed from Aug - March because of birthdays (Mom, Dad and I are literally Aug - Oct) - This time of year, I generally try to force myself to look on the bright side of things: four more months to go, and I can shake off this depressive thing and have a good few months!

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

Not welcome?! But why? That sounds unreal...you're blood!

 

[KitsuneFox]

My family's version of Turkey Day was ordering premade stuff, and throwing it on the table.
No one actually cares at this point in time ... last year there was no food, probably going to be the same this year.

 

[RubberJin]

All commercials are a lie.

Also, we don't get to choose our family, and no-one's is perfect, so don't beat yourself up or stress about it - you don't owe toxic people anything even if you happen to be related and it's not worth setting yourself on fire to keep others warm.

Who gives two shits what the Coca Cola Corporation says you should be doing with your life?

 

[Trevor]

They represent an ideal rather than a reality and they exist to separate you from your money most effectively but they generally aren't so far off for me. My family can be exasperating at times but I do enjoy spending time with them and we generally have happy events for the holidays, and the food is always excellent. I'm sorry that it's not closer to that idyllic fairytale for everyone.

 

[armydipr]

My holidays as kid and teen were spent alone as my step dad and mom, went to reno or vegas, xmas was carton of ciggarretes and 200 bucks w a note.... my current holidays as simple myself my wife and our son, no inlaws, no one from my side and because of their drama, we all enjoy our little holidayd of just the family. For those whose bio fam dont like them, rememer family is deemed by those who love and accept you, not just because they are blood.

 

[AmTheBaby]

RubberJin, Trevor, Armydipr - Thank you. Your posts mean a lot, and I will take them to heart. I know it's my parent's loss. It still hurts. But, I'll pull up my big baby diaper and keep on keeping on.

 

[armydipr]

RubberJin, Trevor, Armydipr - Thank you. Your posts mean a lot, and I will take them to heart. I know it's my parent's loss. It still hurts. But, I'll pull up my big baby diaper and keep on keeping on.

Hey you got us kid !!!

 

[Jim100]

I was lucky, looked forward to the big events. Helped my Mother and Dad with food and setup. Sure the extended family had problems but they were checked at the door. This was a great time for us.

 

[dogboy]

I loved Christmas all my life until my wife died. I quickly realized that holidays are meant to be shared with someone you love. I still love the music but it's difficult for me to listen to it now as it invokes so many memories of well spent Christmas pasts. I haven't yet figured out how to make Christmas meaningful for myself. This year my daughter and her family won't be flying home to visit. I will spend Christmas Eve alone other than to play the Christmas Eve service at my church. I'll go to my one son's house on Christmas day but I'll feel like a fifth wheel.

Maybe it's because I had some control over Christmas, especially when the kids were young and living at home. Everything was in it's right place: tree, decorations, my wife baking and cooking. We would drive to a tree farm, pick out our tree and bring it home while we played Mannheim Steamroller in the car. My wife baked the best apricot bread, something she made by the dozens and we would give them to friends and family. All of that has ended.

Do they celebrate Christmas in heaven? Do they need to. And what do all the future Christmases bring? I no longer have any of those answers, only faith that says one day everything will be back in place and then I will love the great music of the church that celebrates the birth of Christ.

 

[RubberJin]

As I get older I see more the harder side of events like this - often the dramas and stresses are kept from us as kids so we remember things as being far better than they perhaps were.

I've got friends who have major hassle with their family every xmas and they've just thrown their hands up now and said "to hell with it, we're gonna do what we want for us & our kids and if family want to drop in that's OK" rather than trying to please the rest of the family by ferrying their kids around the country because it's X's turn to host and Y's turn to see the grandkids unwrap their presents... and they're a fairly perfect nuclear family with zero issues.

 

[Illinoise]

Do they celebrate Christmas in heaven? Do they need to.

Since He was purportedly born in 4 BC, that Birthday cake would have 2023 candles. "Light of the World", indeed.

Also, would His birthday be celebrated Dec. 25, or whatever day He would have actually been born?

 

[Fireheat]

Wow I can’t believe all feel this way I mean I love Christmas but yeah I have problems with my family with way Christmas is the best time to come together and have fun and put aside our differences for Christmas is a time of love and shearing. With family or friends.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

Since He was purportedly born in 4 BC, that Birthday cake would have 2023 candles. "Light of the World", indeed.

Also, would His birthday be celebrated Dec. 25, or whatever day He would have actually been born?

Best I could study up on the subject, His birthdate seems to have been more in October and He was some weeks old when the Magi visited...December, thereabouts?

Breaking down the word "Christmas": apparently, it comes from "Christ Mass", first celebrated by the Catholic church (Catholics originated Masses). It seems they had to pick a firm date for this one, so December 25 got the nod, for some reason I have yet to find. Anyway...it caught on. Like sugar cookies and eggnog and bad sweaters.

Now, it's more like Xmas, with the X symbolizing either the Ch of Christ in Greek or a genericizing letter to indicate how commercial the holiday has become. That one's still in flux. But however ya view it all, try and make it a good one for yourself and the ones you love!

 

[RubberJin]

I heard the church picked dates that coincided with Pagan festivals so as to push them out, only a very vague "mate down the pub" fact though

 

[lilshelly]

This year will be nothing special as my mom was the one to make a big fuss about the holidays and she is with the man upstairs. while I wanted to try and keep things going for my dad and I he said no. I just have to face the fact that she is in fact gone