coming to terms with everything and confusion could use some help

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kopykat

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Ok I think I could use some help please.

I will start off with some back story. I only found this Web site a few months ago and it's been great for me coming to terms with being an AB (still feels weird saying that). I have been with my GF for 6 years and I told her some stuff over time iv got a pacifier and plush that stay in or around my bed and she is fine with that (she is very young at heart still sucks her thumb and likes a bedtime story every now and then) I had a feeling she might be an AB but that is not the case. I told her about me liking diapers about 2 years ago was so nervous i couldn't say it and she guest it we talked a little on it then it was nether brought up again. I have been planning to bring it up again i was so annoyed at keeping it to my self. Well the other day we had a heart to heart and I came out completely went really well she was fine with it and I told her I had some diapers tucked away she came straight out and asked me if I wanted to wear one I was so nervous i couldn't say yes well over the last few days she offered again and again and I finally did it last night was really nervous and it went ok ish felt so nervous i couldn't enjoy it.

The thing I need help with is she is getting annoyed at me asking if it's ok I still don't think I have come to terms with the fact that she's fine with it. I want to talk about it more as it is helping me come to terms with it but I don't want to annoy her as her mood has changed over the last few days and i cant tell went she is get annoyed about somthing so I find it really hard to just talk about it. She hasn't really asked any questions on the matter at all and that worries me alot I don't want it to go like the last time when I came out and we nether talked about it again. Do you think it would be a good idea to show her this website? So she might understand it better or should I just leave it for abit? and enjoy the fact that iv found someone that Is ok with it.

I love her so much just don't want her to do a runner. She has said she understands it and is fine with it but I think I'm not yet :sad: and maybe me feeling like that is making me think she's not ok with it. Just confused about it all.

Is there anything that helped you come to terms with it? Or if you have been lucky to have someone but were you still reluctant to do it? And what helped you start out? I don't want everything straight away and know I need to take it slow but still think i will drop it and we will nether talk about it again if I leave it

Sorry for rambling on am just confused any help would be great

Thank you for reading this sorry for any spelling mistakes i have dyslexia and feel free to ask questions

It's taken me 2 hours to write this and post it am still really nervous :sweatdrop:
 

KimbaFoxNatsume

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It sounds like you just need to come out and tell her that you're not totally comfortable with yourself yet. It seems that she is fine with the idea and just doesn't understand why you aren't. It definitely isn't something to be swept under the rug. Open communication is very important. Each of you need to know what your boundaries are, and this involves talking about it. For example, is she okay with you wearing diapers around her? What about you ''using'' them around her? Does she want to ''baby'' you at all, and are you comfortable with that? I think it would be appropriate to show her this site after such a conversation, if you'd like.
 

kopykat

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Thank you for the reply

And yeah we have had a chat to tonight and she is fine with it completely. I need to come to terms with it. think we have some more talks ahead of us. Have kept it hidden for so long I have worked it up in my head that it's a big thing nether really been apart of the community before so I'm not use to talking about any of it.
 

MotherFaith

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KopyKat, it is brave of you to confront and deal with your feelings. Keep up the good work, as Kimba has explained, communication is absolute key in these situations. Be honest and talk to your girlfriend about what you feel, what you want from this, it is important for humans to express themselves. It appears as though she wants to get involved, she is taking the initiative and wants you to be free.

On the other side of this is a girlfriend that is trying hard to understand the person she loves' mind. Let her in and enjoy this together, it is not a burden to be dragged around like a stone, you are a human with real feelings and emotions. Be true to them.

As a side note, this brings up a perfect opportunity for the both of you to open up your fantasies for each other. Is there anything she has a fetish for? Does she dream of a sailor to sweep her off her feet? Maybe a fireman is more her style? I don't know, you will know better than me. Every relationship is give and take. For every diaper change there may be a sensual massage or a spanking in return.

Let us know how it goes.
 

dogboy

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I had the same problem when I came out to my wife. It got easier over time. More recently, I wanted her more involved with my little side, and the only way that could happen was for me to be more obvious in my "little" state of mind. In the morning when we get up, I act more babyish, and she has responded quite nicely. A couple of mornings ago, she turned the TV to NPR, and we watched little kid cartoons such as "Peg and Cat". The liberation is wonderful.
 

kopykat

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KopyKat, it is brave of you to confront and deal with your feelings. Keep up the good work, as Kimba has explained, communication is absolute key in these situations. Be honest and talk to your girlfriend about what you feel, what you want from this, it is important for humans to express themselves. It appears as though she wants to get involved, she is taking the initiative and wants you to be free.

On the other side of this is a girlfriend that is trying hard to understand the person she loves' mind. Let her in and enjoy this together, it is not a burden to be dragged around like a stone, you are a human with real feelings and emotions. Be true to them.

As a side note, this brings up a perfect opportunity for the both of you to open up your fantasies for each other. Is there anything she has a fetish for? Does she dream of a sailor to sweep her off her feet? Maybe a fireman is more her style? I don't know, you will know better than me. Every relationship is give and take. For every diaper change there may be a sensual massage or a spanking in return.

Let us know how it goes.

I do kinda see it as a burden because I have let it burden me for so long and have not accepted it. It's getting easier the more I talk and the more im on here this Web site is great just wish I found it years ago. Would have helped me accept it along time ago

I have been doing a lot for her recently we have talked about what she want And what she's in to and im letting her explore those things. I know her very well we have been together for along time. Just wish I let her in to all this sooner
but it has been good for our relationship and i realise how lucky I am to find someone that accepts this just glad it brought us closer together and didn't push us apart

I had the same problem when I came out to my wife. It got easier over time. More recently, I wanted her more involved with my little side, and the only way that could happen was for me to be more obvious in my "little" state of mind. In the morning when we get up, I act more babyish, and she has responded quite nicely. A couple of mornings ago, she turned the TV to NPR, and we watched little kid cartoons such as "Peg and Cat". The liberation is wonderful.

Love cuddles and cartoons best thing on a Sunday morning! Was there anything that helped make it easier or was it just time? As I said I don't want it all straight away and we have the rest of our live together by the looks of things. But i have kept this so repressed for so long. part of me can't accept it and the other half wants to enjoy it all right now but I still think some stuff might frighten her off.


Thank you two for taking your time to read this and help me on these things
 

MotherFaith

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I am really glad you are both taking the opportunity to explore your fantasies and needs. This is critical to make things comfortable for you. Just keep talking and building up your confidence and I am sure you will fine. Me and my girlfriend talk through role-plays and new ideas all the time before playing it out. Explaining exactly how you want something makes it very real and much better. Make sure to take your time, I made the mistake with an old girlfriend by rushing into things after coming out to her. It become to much for her because I was so excited that I would put far to much pressure on her to get involved. It led to her asking me to choose diapers or her, which was very sad and the relationship faded out. It was one of the worst mistakes of my life. Take things at each others paces and do not add any pressure.
 

kopykat

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Shame to here that about your last relationship I can understand how that would feel but you shouldn't regret it now if you are happy with your current GF that just led you to her. I am worried I will put to much pressure on mine if I run in to things blind that's why I'm here asking questions.

Thanks again for taking your time to talk here I will take what you have said and think about it. It's been less then a week from when I told her. I'm just going to take it slow so I can figure everything out my self. as I said I still haven't come to terms with being an AB. I'm guessing it was the way I was brought up my mum was all ways saying stuff like be normal, don't stand out and just act like everyone else (she is a very closed off person) worries about what everyone thinks.
 

MotherFaith

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I obviously do not know your mother, and do not mean to offend, but I could not disagree more with that philosophy. I go out of my way to be different and make myself stand out. I would hate to be one of the run of the mill people I meet everyday. I find trying to fit in boring and stressful and does not get you anywhere in life. You have to stay true to yourself and express yourself in the ways you feel are right. There are certain times when you have to do what the crowd is doing but these situations are few and between, an example would be a funeral where you would mostly all wear black suits and act in a very sombre manner. But I also appreciate that mothers advice should not be sneered at so you have probably found compromises to the dilemma.
 

kopykat

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O I disagree with it completely but being brought up around that hasn't helped over the years. i think there is nothing better then self expression i am an artist at heart and don't worry you haven't offend me at all I agree with you.
 

dogboy

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Love cuddles and cartoons best thing on a Sunday morning! Was there anything that helped make it easier or was it just time? As I said I don't want it all straight away and we have the rest of our live together by the looks of things. But i have kept this so repressed for so long. part of me can't accept it and the other half wants to enjoy it all right now but I still think some stuff might frighten her off.


That's a good question. I would say it was a combination of factors. Being on this site for now, almost six years, has really helped me accept myself. I guess I should say that it's been all the many members who have come and gone, their insight and responses, which have enabled my self acceptance.

As I began to feel more comfortable about who I am, at least in this one aspect, I wanted to get more out of it. I spent so many years regressing with just myself, telling myself that I was little, wearing diapers, etc. that I wanted, more and more, to make my wife a part of it. This has probably been a five year progression, sort of a slow evolution. I started with little things. In the morning, as I was headed downstairs to take my shower, I would say, "I have to go shower and change my diaper".

Over a long period of time, she played more and more to it. This morning she turned on Thomas the Tank for me, and it was very enjoyable. To be honest, I really enjoyed the show. We had seen the show with our grandchildren, but I really paid attention to it this time. I was surprised how detailed the animation is.

I should add that my wife has always been supportive by buying me things. Not long ago she reminded me, after I had made a Baby Pants order, that she never complains about what I order. She has bought me things for Christmas like footed jammies, plushies, onsies, etc.

What it comes down to this. If you think your significant other is open to your being and acting little, you are the one who has to make this happen. The logical way to go about this is by very small increments so that your spouse has a chance to absorb these changes. You have to be sensible to their sensibilities.
 

Poohbearboy

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I think when come terms with completely it will help a lot with your relationship and should see yourself as lucky person for having such caring person to be with in your life . Think of it this way to you have one life and should do something that make you happy with no regrets about it. Another is your girlfriend sound like amazing girl and I wish you both the best toward a great future together.:)

PS you always hear that saying slow and steady win the race so try that with this problem.
 

kopykat

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That's a good question. I would say it was a combination of factors. Being on this site for now, almost six years, has really helped me accept myself. I guess I should say that it's been all the many members who have come and gone, their insight and responses, which have enabled my self acceptance.

As I began to feel more comfortable about who I am, at least in this one aspect, I wanted to get more out of it. I spent so many years regressing with just myself, telling myself that I was little, wearing diapers, etc. that I wanted, more and more, to make my wife a part of it. This has probably been a five year progression, sort of a slow evolution. I started with little things. In the morning, as I was headed downstairs to take my shower, I would say, "I have to go shower and change my diaper".

Over a long period of time, she played more and more to it. This morning she turned on Thomas the Tank for me, and it was very enjoyable. To be honest, I really enjoyed the show. We had seen the show with our grandchildren, but I really paid attention to it this time. I was surprised how detailed the animation is.

I should add that my wife has always been supportive by buying me things. Not long ago she reminded me, after I had made a Baby Pants order, that she never complains about what I order. She has bought me things for Christmas like footed jammies, plushies, onsies, etc.

What it comes down to this. If you think your significant other is open to your being and acting little, you are the one who has to make this happen. The logical way to go about this is by very small increments so that your spouse has a chance to absorb these changes. You have to be sensible to their sensibilities.

Yeah she is very open to it and she has brought me things over the last few days like pacifiers and in the past she got me a couple of kigarumi's (not to sure how you spell that) with out me asking and feeted pj's but I asked for them for Xmas. I'm becoming more relaxed day by day. This website is helping alot and we are talking about everything not just this so much more. yeah I was thinking the same that I wanted my GF to be more involved and that's alot to ask from someone. Think that's why it's taking me some time to get use to the idea. Your wife sounds like a great person she knows what make you happy by the looks of things and is fine with it. Am happy for you.

I think when come terms with completely it will help a lot with your relationship and should see yourself as lucky person for having such caring person to be with in your life . Think of it this way to you have one life and should do something that make you happy with no regrets about it. Another is your girlfriend sound like amazing girl and I wish you both the best toward a great future together.:)

PS you always hear that saying slow and steady win the race so try that with this problem.

Thank you! And yeah she is a amazing girl! I know how lucky I am. It's all ready helped our relationship alot and i never thought I would say that it's brought us much closer together. She could see how hard it was for me to tell her and it's made her realise that I trust her again. we had a hard time with trust in the beginning and i think that's another part that made me keep it a secret for to long. Yeah I'm fight it and stopping my self from jumping right in slow and steady is the best way.

Thank you again
 
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