Coming to terms with abdl life.

K00paTr00pa

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Hi everyone, I'm someone who's liked diapers for years but only recently (like a year ago) realized that I do have a little side. For me that means diapers, stuffed animals, XL hoodies, cuddles, naps and making forts. I sort of found this side of myself when I realized that I liked the things associated with diapers, accidents, embarrassment, comfort, and achieving a little space mentality (its difficult for me to do sometimes)

My question is, how did you discover this side of yourself and how have you grown to accept it? If you're still trying to accept it feel free to chime in as well.
 
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Turfy

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Mine has really always been there, a latent, underlying element of my personality. My mind tends to work in childish ways.

Coming to terms with it has been a lot harder, and its taken me many attempts over the years; doing therapy really helped me understand it and accept this about myself. I was fortunate to be matched with the world's most wonderful therapist, and I can't thank them enough. I have really been able to see how it all plays into who I am, and that it is ok, and understand where it truly comes from (their specialty is Early Childhood Development, which was an amazing coincidence).

As far as when I started to explore my DL, and then AB, side, that started around 10-14, and really kicked into high gear in high school. It wasnt until I was welcomed and embraced by the ADISC community that I really started to come into my own.

If you find you want to chat, hop on over to our awesome Discord, there are usually a bunch of great members hanging around to make friends with and answer questions!

And Welcome to ADISC!
🥳
 
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Tangela

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K00paTr00pa said:
My question is, how did you discover this side of yourself and how have you grown to accept it? If you're still trying to accept it feel free to chime in as well.
How I discovered? When I was about 12 years old, I really felt like peeing my underwear before shower after football/soccer practice. I also liked to make a lot of foam inside my underwear during shower using a sponge. I never understood why, but It mande me feel vulnerable/innocent. When I was 18 years old, I saw a woman with a very bulgy dress and thought "looks like she is wearing a diaper". After that thought, something clicked in my brain. I just wanted to do it and feel little. The rest, as they say, is history. I like to share this story because It shows how hardwired this desire is.

How to accept it? Well... It is difficult, but what worked for me was desconstructing every moral system that was taught to me and reconstructing them with another view. I mean things like religion, honor, masculinity... Once I learned how harmless ABDL can be, and that this dosen't compromise my adulthood I became more relaxed. Nowadays I have my own concept of masculinity, spirituality and morality.

I've written this reply slightly drunk,i using my phone with no spellchecker, so It's maybe incomprehensible.
 
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K00paTr00pa

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@Turfy thank you for the tip and thank you for sharing!
 

K00paTr00pa

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Tangela said:
How I discovered? When I was about 12 years old, I really felt like peeing my underwear before shower after football/soccer practice. I also liked to make a lot of foam inside my underwear during shower using a sponge. I never understood why, but It mande me feel vulnerable/innocent. When I was 18 years old, I saw a woman with a very bulgy dress and thought "looks like she is wearing a diaper". After that thought, something clicked in my brain. I just wanted to do it and feel little. The rest, as they say, is history. I like to share this story because It shows how hardwired this desire is.

How to accept it? Well... It is difficult, but what worked for me was desconstructing every moral system that was taught to me and reconstructing them with another view. I mean things like religion, honor, masculinity... Once I learned how harmless ABDL can be, and that this dosen't compromise my adulthood I became more relaxed. Nowadays I have my own concept of masculinity, spirituality and morality.

I've written this reply slightly drunk,i using my phone with no spellchecker, so It's maybe incomprehensible.
Abdl for me came later but the interest in diapers was pretty early for me. I remember early in elementary having the to name different articles of clothing. When I said "diaper" the entire class laughed. It was an early but fortunate lesson to keep this interest to myself.

Regardless of Abdl being the the oposite of every social norm throughout the world I think it does give us the unique perspective of being more considerate and understanding of those around us, because of just how much we need to accept parts of ourselves.
 
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Dragon64

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At first I was just a DL and I slowly discovered my AB/little side by fantasizing about being a toddler just so I had a reason to be wearing diapers. I started to somewhat accept my ABDL side about 10 years ago or so and didn't fully accept it until like 5 years ago when I finally realized that it was a bigger part of who I am than I had originally thought.
 

MetalDan86

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K00paTr00pa said:
My question is, how did you discover this side of yourself and how have you grown to accept it?
I have known about this side of myself since I was 6 years old and fantasized about being put back in diapers. There was something escapist about the whole notion, yet I struggled with the taboo nature of the product having been potty trained without issue. A lot of the anxiety came through my upbringing on the autism spectrum and in seeking out coping strategies to the sensory issues I had at the time. I have accepted the abdl side more in my adult life being independent from my parents and others who would not accept this side of me … hence my reason for joining ADISC this year.
 
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DLBIG

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Once you understand you can’t fight this, you start accepting it. It’s part of our whole self, and we can’t, again, we can’t change that. It’s a known fact.

So you do your best to accept it, or better embrace it. Or you accept first, embrace it afterward and for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.

I’m an ABDL, mostly DL with an AB little side, and this is part of my personality; it simply comes with my whole self, like it or not.
 
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Dragon64

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DLBIG said:
Once you understand you can’t fight this, you start accepting it. It’s part of our whole self, and we can’t, again, we can’t change that. It’s a known fact.
I had to find this out the hard way. I fought it for 7 years, accepted that I these interests but tried to ignore them for 5 years, finally accepted it 5 years ago, and didn't start embracing it until almost 4 months ago. Now I wish I had started accepting it way back when my DL side was awakened.
 
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bobbyboy

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One of my earliest memories, when I must have been about 4 years old, is sneaking into my baby brother's room and putting on a pair of his plastic pants over my underwear. My mother walked into the room, I was in a corner, she left without seeing me. At about 9 years old I was at a birthday party, and I allowed my friend's younger sister to dress me in a diaper and plastic pants and a dress. When I grew up there was no internet. I have always known, but until I was almost 30, I didn't know anyone else did this. I did a small amount of binging and throwing everything away. I'm a professional and the cost is easy but the time limited. My wife accepts my fetish but rarely participates. I am 68 years old. I have a rental unit I might turn into a nursery when the current tenants leave.........
 
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lilensign

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K00paTr00pa said:
Hi everyone, I'm someone who's liked diapers for years but only recently (like a year ago) realized that I do have a little side. For me that means diapers, stuffed animals, XL hoodies, cuddles, naps and making forts. I sort of found this side of myself when I realized that I liked the things associated with diapers, accidents, embarrassment, comfort, and achieving a little space mentality (its difficult for me to do sometimes)

My question is, how did you discover this side of yourself and how have you grown to accept it? If you're still trying to accept it feel free to chime in as well.

Really appreciate you asking this question. I'm learning a lot from the replies already! I've struggled for most of my life to accept this part of me. I've been way quicker to accept the little side (I'm sitting on my bed with Star Wars sheets and a stuffed Tauntaun lol). I even regularly wear clothes that would be considered "childish" and everyone just accepts it as part of my personality and interests. It's kinda great.

Diapers on the other hand are the source of much angst. I get some, and then start thinking it's gross that a grown man wants to wear diapers and throw it all away. This honestly has been going on for as long as I can remember, I just need to accept this part of me, but easier said than done.

---

I realized also I never answered the first question. I was potty trained late and remember not really wanting to do that. So I've wanted to be back in diapers literally my whole nondiapered life. I had a friend in gradeschool that was a bedwetter who was very open about it. I discovered his Goodnites and the rest is history.
 
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lilensign

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DLBIG said:
Once you understand you can’t fight this, you start accepting it. It’s part of our whole self, and we can’t, again, we can’t change that. It’s a known fact.

So you do your best to accept it, or better embrace it. Or you accept first, embrace it afterward and for the REST OF YOUR LIFE.

I’m an ABDL, mostly DL with an AB little side, and this is part of my personality; it simply comes with my whole self, like it or not.
This is easier said than done... But it's worth being reminded and working on it. Will take any advice you can give!
 

Mickey

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I've been a 'DL' since I was around age 4-6. Not great access to diapers or the plastic pants that fascinated me while a child, but after I started working at around age 16 I was buying pull-ups/goodnites on my own since then. Lived at home with parents and during my late teens and 20's it was real hard to live with them. I wanted to just "end" many times I hated my life.

While buying more goodnites at the store like I always did to endulge myself with something that helped with all the pain and grief, I noticed Winnie The Pooh on some of the diapers/wipes. As a child I had some Winnie stuff and was familiar with him. Something clicked in my head. That was the moment I turned AB. I bought a large sized stuffed Winnie and I love him ever since. I mention this because, it saved my life.

Later on I "met" Mickey Mouse and loved him even more. I've slowly been becoming more AB and am nearly at the point of getting a crib. My journey to being a complete ABDL really turned on a side of me that had lain dormant since I was a child. This part of my life was the more bearable and I was loved as a baby and toddler. I wanted to bring those feelings back.

These feelings helped me so much to overcome the problems I was facing. Instead of contemplating bad things, I was always looking for the next item I could get to sate my budding AB side. I started to do better, went to college the first time and eventually things got better. I really credit my ABDL side as the self treatment I always needed. I really do think it helped to save me. With this, I have since accepted that I do these things much easier knowing that I am much more happy and easy going because of it. I still have issues but when I sleep with my stuffed friends in my bed wearing a footie PJ and a diaper underneath it I know that it feels right and I feel complete.
 

BlameBaby

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K00paTr00pa said:
Hi everyone, I'm someone who's liked diapers for years but only recently (like a year ago) realized that I do have a little side. For me that means diapers, stuffed animals, XL hoodies, cuddles, naps and making forts. I sort of found this side of myself when I realized that I liked the things associated with diapers, accidents, embarrassment, comfort, and achieving a little space mentality (its difficult for me to do sometimes)

My question is, how did you discover this side of yourself and how have you grown to accept it? If you're still trying to accept it feel free to chime in as well.
I'm happy for you it took me 20+ years to accept it myself...
 

ozbub

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It’s really important I think for us to share our stories of acceptance. I feel like I’ve done it so much on here in the past that I usually just read and move on, kind of forgetting how so many are still just sorting this shit out.

I guess I accepted myself as an abdl/little quite some time ago, and while It hasn’t really changed anything about it, I have learned to love this bit of me.

I have felt like a fish out of water my whole life, only ever really feeling free when I embrace the little feelings, even more so when I fully slip into little space.

I have been drawn to this as long as I can remember. It is really a tough job growing up and trying to present an outward persona that meets everyone’s expectations of you, all the time knowing the ridicule and humiliation that revealing your true feelings, or desires, would bring, or worse, being caught out. Hi

And so for the most part it is a life lived in secret, which everyone here knows is an extraordinarily difficult and relentless challenge, not to mention lonely, which for a regressive ab is probably the hardest part.

Finding ways to live with this hasn’t really been that difficult, I mean It’s been as much a part of my development as any other part of my life. Coming to terms with it though was not so easy and took a lot of courage and soul searching. I was able to eventually reveal this to my partner, and while she accepts this part of me, it is still a challenge for me.

Unfortunately, we can’t reasonably expect anyone other than ourselves to really appreciate what it’s like to be an abdl let alone accept us. What we can do is learn to love the whole person we are, and find ways to nurture ourselves and our needs.
 
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