Christmas Chaos - how do you cope?

WaddleBum92

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With Christmas just around the corner, I’m looking for some advice on how to practically manage my protection etc over the super busy festive period. For context, my wife and I moved overseas in 2018 and this will be the first big Christmas we’re having back in our home country since we moved. As you may imagine, there’s massive pent-up demand from our family and friends to spend time with us.

Since moving abroad, I’ve pretty much accepted my continence issues and wear nappies 24/7 to manage things - I’m well able to manage my nappies and changing in our own environment as we’re fairly routine driven here and I feel relatively anonymous so care a little less if somebody notices that I’m wearing. Anybody “tuned in” would easily assume that I wear incontinence pads if they visited our home or really scrutinised my silhouette.
When I wet myself, it’s apparently quite obvious as my body language changes - one of our friends works in the care sector and was very quick to ask why I wore pads when she visited our home for coffee recently as she has a 6th sense for such things (apparently).

We’re staying with my wife’s family this Christmas and they’re partially aware of my issues - I don’t think they’re fully aware of my need to wear 24/7, but I’m quite nervous of the fact that I am in a situation where things may be a bit more obvious than before. They are particularly keen to enjoy their time with us and have planned some lunches/dinners in nice restaurants in the city - I feel it’s going to be quite difficult for me to carry around a rucksack with my changing supplies in discreetly, especially if it’s in a more social setting.

As for seeing our friends and socialising over Christmas, I’m nervous of managing changes and keeping things discreet - my wife is fantastic and very supportive, but I often feel very guilty that I am burdening her with this issue and bringing it too front and centre of our day to day lives.

How do you manage things over the busy holiday season and if you were in my shoes, what’s my best plan of attack?
 
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EcoIncon

Cloth diaper anyone?
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For trips to the city, parties with friends and dinners in nice restaurants, I'd wear a thick nappy that will last you several hours so you don't have to change... Sure it will make your silhouette more noticeable... but I truly believe that those who are not trained to notice (like your friend), don't notice and the rest are totally unlikely to make any sort of issue out of it.

As far as your best plan of attack... you're more than your continence challenges. Try to put it out of your mind and enjoy the gift of being able to get back together with family and friends. It's truly a gift many of us have missed for far too long.
 
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hbic60

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I'm awaiting my children's families for the Christmas days, staying two or thee days in our house. They don't know about my incontinence, as I don't see a serious reason to tell (of course my wife know and is fully supporting me). I don't heavily hide my IC, but of course I try to be discrete with it. But if this would come up - on theirs last visits my "condition" never wasn't remarked - I am absolutely open to talk about it, I see no reason to be ashamed or to hide anything!
 
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slimjiminy

Diabetes, type-2
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1671537085002.pngI always chuckle at the moment in Christmas Vacation where Chevy Chase is advised by his father that "He had a lot of help from Jack Daniels".
 
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Dinotopian2002

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
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  2. Incontinent
I've been diapered 24/7 for medical reasons since I was teen, so everyone in my family knows, but we don't make a big deal about it.
Most of my close friends know as well, although not everyone does.

When out and about, I've got a stylish satchel/messenger bag which keeps my diapering supplies in it, as well as my wallet and keys, so if I need to change when on the go, I can. Twin this with plain Tykeables romper to hide my padding and keep it in place and it's not that obvious.

I also need to use a wheelchair due to chronic pain, and I think there's a couple of things it's taught me which could be applied to a diaper need too.

1. It's a medical aide to help you live your life to the full. However bulky and obvious a diaper is, a wheelchair is MUCH bigger. There's no way to hide it, so you might as well own up and use it anyway.

2. Your family and friends know, but if they are your friends or they care about you, they will not mind it. Because if you need that device in order to be there, they would rather have you there, as you are, than not at all. (And if they don't, then that says more about them than you).

In the immortal words of Fall Out Boy: "Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends."

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002
 
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CheshireCat

Neuromuscular Disability
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Dinotopian2002 said:
I've been diapered 24/7 for medical reasons since I was teen, so everyone in my family knows, but we don't make a big deal about it.
Most of my close friends know as well, although not everyone does.

When out and about, I've got a stylish satchel/messenger bag which keeps my diapering supplies in it, as well as my wallet and keys, so if I need to change when on the go, I can. Twin this with plain Tykeables romper to hide my padding and keep it in place and it's not that obvious.

I also need to use a wheelchair due to chronic pain, and I think there's a couple of things it's taught me which could be applied to a diaper need too.

1. It's a medical aide to help you live your life to the full. However bulky and obvious a diaper is, a wheelchair is MUCH bigger. There's no way to hide it, so you might as well own up and use it anyway.

2. Your family and friends know, but if they are your friends or they care about you, they will not mind it. Because if you need that device in order to be there, they would rather have you there, as you are, than not at all. (And if they don't, then that says more about them than you).

In the immortal words of Fall Out Boy: "Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends."

Breathe Deep, Seek Peace
Dinotopian2002
I would give you 1000 Likes for this post if I could.
 
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sport1

incontinent
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WaddleBum92 said:
With Christmas just around the corner, I’m looking for some advice on how to practically manage my protection etc over the super busy festive period. For context, my wife and I moved overseas in 2018 and this will be the first big Christmas we’re having back in our home country since we moved. As you may imagine, there’s massive pent-up demand from our family and friends to spend time with us.

Since moving abroad, I’ve pretty much accepted my continence issues and wear nappies 24/7 to manage things - I’m well able to manage my nappies and changing in our own environment as we’re fairly routine driven here and I feel relatively anonymous so care a little less if somebody notices that I’m wearing. Anybody “tuned in” would easily assume that I wear incontinence pads if they visited our home or really scrutinised my silhouette.
When I wet myself, it’s apparently quite obvious as my body language changes - one of our friends works in the care sector and was very quick to ask why I wore pads when she visited our home for coffee recently as she has a 6th sense for such things (apparently).

We’re staying with my wife’s family this Christmas and they’re partially aware of my issues - I don’t think they’re fully aware of my need to wear 24/7, but I’m quite nervous of the fact that I am in a situation where things may be a bit more obvious than before. They are particularly keen to enjoy their time with us and have planned some lunches/dinners in nice restaurants in the city - I feel it’s going to be quite difficult for me to carry around a rucksack with my changing supplies in discreetly, especially if it’s in a more social setting.

As for seeing our friends and socialising over Christmas, I’m nervous of managing changes and keeping things discreet - my wife is fantastic and very supportive, but I often feel very guilty that I am burdening her with this issue and bringing it too front and centre of our day to day lives.

How do you manage things over the busy holiday season and if you were in my shoes, what’s my best plan of attack?
I have somewhat the same problem. I have overcome much of the stigma my wife is my supporter.
 
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CheshireCat

Neuromuscular Disability
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Women are much more empathetic than men. Ask your wife to discuss the situation with her mother. You might be surprised at how much interference your mother-in-law will run without a word being said, and no one will be none the wiser.
 

EcoIncon

Cloth diaper anyone?
Est. Contributor
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WaddleBum92 said:
With Christmas just around the corner, I’m looking for some advice on how to practically manage my protection etc over the super busy festive period. For context, my wife and I moved overseas in 2018 and this will be the first big Christmas we’re having back in our home country since we moved. As you may imagine, there’s massive pent-up demand from our family and friends to spend time with us.

Since moving abroad, I’ve pretty much accepted my continence issues and wear nappies 24/7 to manage things - I’m well able to manage my nappies and changing in our own environment as we’re fairly routine driven here and I feel relatively anonymous so care a little less if somebody notices that I’m wearing. Anybody “tuned in” would easily assume that I wear incontinence pads if they visited our home or really scrutinised my silhouette.
When I wet myself, it’s apparently quite obvious as my body language changes - one of our friends works in the care sector and was very quick to ask why I wore pads when she visited our home for coffee recently as she has a 6th sense for such things (apparently).

We’re staying with my wife’s family this Christmas and they’re partially aware of my issues - I don’t think they’re fully aware of my need to wear 24/7, but I’m quite nervous of the fact that I am in a situation where things may be a bit more obvious than before. They are particularly keen to enjoy their time with us and have planned some lunches/dinners in nice restaurants in the city - I feel it’s going to be quite difficult for me to carry around a rucksack with my changing supplies in discreetly, especially if it’s in a more social setting.

As for seeing our friends and socialising over Christmas, I’m nervous of managing changes and keeping things discreet - my wife is fantastic and very supportive, but I often feel very guilty that I am burdening her with this issue and bringing it too front and centre of our day to day lives.

How do you manage things over the busy holiday season and if you were in my shoes, what’s my best plan of attack?
@WaddleBum92 How did the holidays work out for you?
 
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