Cheating?

DonnieHendrix

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So another curiosity question from me...
What’s the general opinion on visiting a mummy/daddy or going to a nursery when you are in a relationship?
Is anyone here married to or in a serious relationship with someone who’s just not into ABDL at all and so they visit a nursery or have a separate mummy or daddy?
What does your partner think?
Do they know?
Do people consider it cheating?
 

Scubajoe81

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For me if there is no sexual things taken place. Then it would be hanging out with friend/s


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BabyTyrant

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I would consider that the same as dropping a child in diapers off to a babysitter as long as it doesn't extend to any adult things that make a relationship.
 

TonkaToy

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To my wife(mommy) and me it wouldnt be right. ABDL is ours together not separately.
 

Cottontail

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The only answer that really matters is your partner's. I think, though, that a girlfriend or wife would be rightly suspicious of a "mommy," for example. It seems to me that if your ABDL side needs babying, you've probably set yourself up for trouble by initiating a relationship with somebody who doesn't want to provide that. Some relationships will be open enough to survive a situation where one partner's emotional needs require a third person to satisfy them. I'll wager that's pretty rare, however.
 

sbmccue

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Cottontail and the mods have the better of the argument: Whether seeing a caregiver is 'cheating' depends on the relationship the activity affects.

I've had more than a dozen babysitters since 1993, and I'd find it hard to argue that I was 'cheating' with any of them. To my mind, being bottle-fed or having your pants changed by someone of the opposite sex (who is typically fully clothed, by the way) is a long way from being in bed with them.

Like most, I walked into my existing relationship with my eyes wide open. Like many, I thought I could sublimate the AB urges that have plagued me since early childhood. I found that I could not. Since my wife has made it clear to me that my infantilism has no place in our marriage, I'm unsure what other recourse I have. I suppose I could ask for a divorce so that I could live alone with my diaper desires; that would only ruin the lives of two otherwise happy people. Seeing a sitter now and then, I believe, is the best option I have. After living with my infantilism for more than half a century, I've finally reconciled myself to the fact that it's not going away anytime soon.
 
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SpAzpieSweeTot

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So another curiosity question from me...
What’s the general opinion on visiting a mummy/daddy or going to a nursery when you are in a relationship?
Is anyone here married to or in a serious relationship with someone who’s just not into ABDL at all and so they visit a nursery or have a separate mummy or daddy?
What does your partner think?
Do they know?
Do people consider it cheating?
For me, if one is getting a sexual need met, by someone besides his or her partner, without said partner's consent, that's a physical affair. If one is getting an emotional need, that his, or her partner should be meeting, met, without said partner's consent, that's an emotional affair, and yeah, it sure is cheating. I'd be devastated if someone had an affair on me, strangely, maybe even more so, if it was an emotional one.

"You did what!? You emotionally bonded with another woman, and she knows all the stuff that makes you who you are? Boy, your Mama's dead, so that shit won't fly anymore! Nah, you want her; go boink her! You might as well, if she's got your heart! I ain't your boink toy! Get to steppin'!"

That'd be me, if my man did that.

Now, if he said, "I have a need, and I've thought about going outside the marriage to meet it, but I haven't done it yet," I'd throw my arms around him, and tell him I was proud of him, and even more sure why I picked him.

See why? It's because thinking of doing it scared him so badly, and his first instinct, when it came to dealing with it, was to reach for me. That would be commended.

That being said, I get it. I do. I promise, and I'm not blaming anyone, as I can't imagine how painful having an unmet need, and being too scared of your partner's anger, to tell him, or her, is.

If I'm someone's partner, I signed up. If I'm his wife, it's my job! This is a, "me," Thing, but the Bible says, "help mate," so, enough said.

Ladies, please, don't be silly! Realize how important your choice of partners is, and don't sign up for more than you can handle. Guys, don't be silly. Be k selective, and choosy. We, women who are okay with this, do exist. If you can't be totally honest with each other, don't sign up for each other, either of you.

Now, if one has the consent of his, or her partner, no, it's not cheating, but think about it. What does it say, that your partner would rather let you get your needs met by someone else, be they sexual, or emotional, then meet them himself, or herself.

I hear, "I don't get you, nor do I want to try," from that behavior, myself.

Ouch! I'm so sorry if anyone has gone through that.

Now, going to a CAPCon or TeddyCon class, where the pro caretakers are, together, brilliant idea, because the partner learns, the ABDL learns, and no unhealthy bonds are created.
 
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Poofybutt

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This is an interesting topic and I have thought about this often myself, especially when I hear of AB's settling for a relationship with someone who absolutely abhors their AB side.

As others have said, I think whether or not it constitutes as cheating certainly depends on the individual, how they view relationships and the nature of the relationship itself i.e. is it an open relationship.

I know that as an AB myself, I definitely need a partner who is either understanding and non-judgemental enough to let me indulge on my own or someone who is accepting enough to participate outright. Fortunately, I have found the latter in all of the meaningful relationships I have had thus far. My current GF/Mommy is super accepting and willing to participate. If I did not have such accepting and understanding partners, I still feel that my AB side would need that tender, nurturing, Mommy and Baby time and if my partner could not facilitate that, I would definitely seek it elsewhere. I think that for me, seeking a Mommy outside of my relationship would be tantamount to cheating. I mean, I don't view sex as the be all and end all in a relationship and I pride a deeper, emotional connection in my relationships and on some level, I don't think there is any deeper a connection than being open about this side of yourself and having a partner who understands and or participates. If I had to step outside of my relationship to find that understanding participant, someone to call Mommy when I needed that type of connection and care, then that is the person to whom I am more emotionally invested, that connection would be much deeper and more profound than my connection to a partner who simply refused to understand. So, if I was ever in a relationship with someone who hated my AB side and I needed to find a Mommy outside of the relationship, I would view such an arrangement, unless approved by my partner, as a form of emotional cheating.

Now, fortunately, as I have said, I have never been in a loveless relationship or a relationship where my partner refused to understand and acknowledge this side of me, so this is all just my opinion, but I have to say, that if I was seeking a Mommy outside of the relationship and connecting with someone on that emotional level, then at the bare minimum it would be emotional cheating and there's a good chance my unaccepting partner would view it the same way.
 
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BenTennyson

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The only answer that really matters is your partner's.
While I wholeheartedly agree, this isn't what OP was asking about. If I were in a FUNCTIONAL relationship and truly love my partner, no matter how vanilla, I'd never do this without their consent, even if there were no adult activities involved.

I should have been more thorough. See in a situation like stated above...quote:

Cottontail and the mods have the better of the argument: Whether seeing a caregiver is 'cheating' depends on the relationship the activity affects.

I've had more than a dozen babysitters since 1993, and I'd find it hard to argue that I was 'cheating' with any of them. To my mind, being bottle-fed or having your pants changed by someone of the opposite sex (who is typically fully clothed, by the way) is a long way from being in bed with them.

Like most, I walked into my existing relationship with my eyes wide open. Like many, I thought I could sublimate the AB urges that have plagued me since early childhood. I found that I could not. Since my wife has made it clear to me that my infantilism has no place in our marriage, I'm unsure what other recourse I have. I suppose I could ask for a divorce so that I could live alone with my diaper desires; that would only ruin the lives of two otherwise happy people. Seeing a sitter now and then, I believe, is the best option I have. After living with my infantilism for more than half a century, I've finally reconciled myself to the fact that it's not going away anytime soon.
I still wouldn't do that, because I consider it cheating. BUT: I would think hard about a divorce. Because if this thing is so deeply rooted inside a person, and the partner is unable to meet that need, it was a bad match in the first place. But still I wouldn't do that behind their backs.
 
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Cottontail

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While I wholeheartedly agree, this isn't what OP was asking about.
That might be fair. :) I'll admit that when I read these sorts of posts/questions, I tend to assume that the person is teetering on the brink of doing something (or has just done something) they feel morally torn about, and is looking for a nudge in one direction or another (or, retroactively, for reinforcement of an already-made decision).

I'm a pessimist!
 

DonnieHendrix

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Cottontail I agree, I think I would feel the same if I read my first post from someone else. I would assume they were close to doing or already had done something they regretted.
But no I am miles away from the scenario really. It was more curiousity for an imaginary future to be honest. My marriage is not unusual probably in that I had hoped my abdl urges would go once I had found companionship and would be replaced with more accepted methods of comfort and pleasure.

I agree that emotional cheating would be every bit as bad as sexual or any other kind for that matter. To condradict myself in my original post I suppose I must have been considering the idea of visiting a mummy and hoping for validation in a way even if was thinking in terms of 10 years time 20 years time or just plain fantasy. But reading your opinions has made me feel that even if I were able to separate sexual feelings from purer regression (doubtful) associated with abdl it would still be hurtful for me to seek something so personal from somebody outside my marriage and therefore confirm to my wife that she wasn’t providing me with something I need or want to make me happy.
Though frankly she doesn’t seem too bothered about denying me those needs and urges or if I’m happy for that matter.
Sorry I’m ranting now.

So long story short perhaps I might have on a braver day in the very distant future considered the idea but now I won’t.
 
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