Carers and how you identify

IcyBlue

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  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Diaperfur
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My question is how do you as a carer identify yourself when caring?
Some are Daddies, Mommies, Aunties and Uncles even. Does it feel weird to you when you’re identified in a specific way other than your name?
On the flip side how do the littles feel addressing their carer in that way? I can understand its a way of getting into the headspace of a specific relationship but that’s about all?

I’m a carer but thats all I’m sort of identifying as; a babysitter somewhat.
It’s a role I feel isn’t a sexual relationship and specifically just a responsibility to help your little relax and feel safe in their own space.
A carer can also be a playmate too but of course they get the responsibility of the big decisions mainly.

Some relationships are definitely for a type of dominance/submissive thing but is it anything else?
I’m a interested to see your experiences because to me its a very close friendship with responsibilities. Maybe to you its a close friendship with benefits in some form or another.
 
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I'm a little with a very loving and understanding wife who enjoys to engage with me as a caregiver. She is incredibly amazing in everything she does for me.

Like yourself, littlespace isn't sexualised for us either and my wife is happy to provide my little side with everything it needs, whilst ensuring to do it in a safe space, helping to keep that side of me protected and remain our little secret.

From the outset I told my wife I could never call her mummy because it just doesn't sit right with me personally. I still see her as my wife, even when in a little mindset. She's happy I feel this way because it would've felt awkward for her too.

Our little/CG relationship isn't about dominance or submission. It's just about the loving, nurturing aspects that come so naturally to my wife such as speaking to me and treating me like I'm little, bathing me, changes, playing with me, etc.

I love your perspective of what little time represents to you and your little. It takes a special kind of person to accept something such as this so wholeheartedly 🥰
 
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Not a carer myself but I can answer this about my relationship with my partner who is.

I’m very much more on the DL side of things, I have tried bottles/dummies etc with partners before but my ‘thing’ is having a strong female take control and ‘make me’ use baby things as an adult. So I’d never get into little space even with all the extras involved.

Because of that reason (above) my partners have all been just that, and I’d address them as such (wife/GF/name)
As this is also a very sexual thing for me I wouldn’t ever be comfortable calling my GF “Mummy” whilst she was dealing with my excitement at change time, although she has in the past called herself that verbally and in birthday/Christmas cards and also bought me various slogan Tshirts with things like Mummy’s little nappy boy on.
 
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I’d describe the dynamic I seek in CGs and currently have with my Daddy in a similar way to @ItsTimmyTime
When my Daddy and I originally met on Fetlife, I didn’t refer to him that way. It’s a title reserved for someone who I trust to care for me in my most vulnerable state. Someone who is invested in the nurturing of my little side, and wants to make me the happiest and most well taken care of lil baby ever. It’s probably why I hate when randos on Fet would have their first message be “can I be your daddy?” or demanding I refer to them that way—because that’s not a title you just demand or expect to get called. You’re only daddy or mommy or a CG to me if you prove to me you meet the above characteristics.
I know my daddy probably wanted me to refer to him that way sooner on, because having a baby girl was something he always dreamed of. But the fact that he would wait and let me decide when I was going to refer to him as that was part of proving to me the respect and care he had for me. And now that he’s daddy to me, it’s the only thing I refer to him as, haha. I wonder how many times I say or type out daddy every day, lol. We have moments where I’m not really little or as romantic partners where we’re doing more adult things, and I’ll still call him daddy, but there is no truer or purer daddy than when I call him that while in little space. On the flip side of things he only refers to me by pet names or my little name, Jooce.
I’ve also always had a thing for calling someone/being called a certain name or nickname or term of endearment so I enjoy this part of the dynamic quite a lot.
 
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lilbabyjooce said:
I’d describe the dynamic I seek in CGs and currently have with my Daddy in a similar way to @ItsTimmyTime
When my Daddy and I originally met on Fetlife, I didn’t refer to him that way. It’s a title reserved for someone who I trust to care for me in my most vulnerable state. Someone who is invested in the nurturing of my little side, and wants to make me the happiest and most well taken care of lil baby ever. It’s probably why I hate when randos on Fet would have their first message be “can I be your daddy?” or demanding I refer to them that way—because that’s not a title you just demand or expect to get called. You’re only daddy or mommy or a CG to me if you prove to me you meet the above characteristics.
I know my daddy probably wanted me to refer to him that way sooner on, because having a baby girl was something he always dreamed of. But the fact that he would wait and let me decide when I was going to refer to him as that was part of proving to me the respect and care he had for me. And now that he’s daddy to me, it’s the only thing I refer to him as, haha. I wonder how many times I say or type out daddy every day, lol. We have moments where I’m not really little or as romantic partners where we’re doing more adult things, and I’ll still call him daddy, but there is no truer or purer daddy than when I call him that while in little space. On the flip side of things he only refers to me by pet names or my little name, Jooce.
I’ve also always had a thing for calling someone/being called a certain name or nickname or term of endearment so I enjoy this part of the dynamic quite a lot.
That sounds like a lovely dynamic you have with your daddy 😍 It's so nice he respected you and was patient enough to wait for you to call him daddy, once you felt timing felt right for you! I like how you both still call each other by your pet names during adult time too 🤭
 
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ItsTimmyTime said:
That sounds like a lovely dynamic you have with your daddy 😍 It's so nice he respected you and was patient enough to wait for you to call him daddy, once you felt timing felt right for you! I like how you both still call each other by your pet names during adult time too 🤭
Yes, the fact he would wait really meant a lot to me! I know you have been exploring this side of yourself with your wife, but I’ve only ever explored this side of myself with other people who were already into ABDL, which has us starting out as complete strangers.
Kind of like what @IcyBlue is getting at with this exact post, some people see being a CG as a purely sexual thing, some people just like being called daddy/mommy without the more in depth aspects of CGing attached, some people don’t see just how vulnerable and meaningful it is for a little to let themselves be cared for—so there’s a lot of wading through the crowd to try and find someone who fits what you’re looking for.
In my experience, this has resulted in a lot of demanding people with only their own interests in mind—which is kind of the opposite of my ideal CG (and I’d say CGs in general, but to each their own, it’s not up to me to say what everyone’s CG should be like). So after dealing with dozens of messages trying to decree “you’re mine,” “I’m your daddy now,” “you have to call me daddy,” etc etc it was very refreshing that someone, even tho they too wanted to be my daddy, was willing to wait and prove it to me. And when we met in person for the first time and spent the week together, he definitely earned that title haha.
 
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Me and my partner happily trade the role of caregiver between one another on whatever whim we're feeling. We both enjoy giving the strong comfort aspects to one another, but it's not a particularly "deep" or set in stone thing for either of us. It's really just play with nice fuzzy feelings attached, most of the time (sometimes sexualized, other times not). Neither of us have a mode where we feel like we can't make "adult-level" decisions, at least certainly not a mode where we're in a state where we'll be unable to communication we aren't able to make "adult-level" decisions, so there's no need for us to explicitly separate sexual and comfort interactions entirely.

IcyBlue said:
I’m a interested to see your experiences because to me its a very close friendship with responsibilities. Maybe to you its a close friendship with benefits in some form or another.

We're romantically involved first and foremost. Both ABDL and regression are parts of our relationship, but the fact that we're just two people romantically committed to each other is the baseline for it, in my current case!

IcyBlue said:
Does it feel weird to you when you’re identified in a specific way other than your name?
On the flip side how do the littles feel addressing their carer in that way?
Not for me, personally! I enjoy being a "mommy" when I can. It gives me a fuzzy, fulfilled feeling, and I like knowing I'm lighting up my partner's brain in the same way they light up mine when I'm being cared for.

My partner dislikes being referred to with gendered terms, so, when they are my carer, I call them by a "cuter" version of their name. Just a slight lisp to make it more of a term of comforting endearment than their name as it is. If they preferred gendered terms I might refer to them with the parental ones decently often. With that said, having a "big sibling" or "babysitting" vibe to the relationship is also extremely cute, and that's what we tend to do, actually. I take on the parental guise as a carer and they are more of a "big relative" / trusted adult.
 
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I am a naturally dominant woman and spent many years in the BDSM community trying to understand myself and my proclivities. I always steered clear of the ABDL scene as all I could see or imagine of it was the "mess" and work that it would entail. It wasn't until 7 or 8 years ago I had the opportunity to be a weekend babysitter and delve into the psyche of the adult baby I was "sitting" that I began to realize my own inclination to find gratification in the presence of a man that needed to "Be" a baby and trusted me enough to shed all the trappings of the Macho Man Mask that he had to wear in society. I was amazed at the depths of my own feelings and emotions at being the protector of this vulnerable baby man. Totally mind blowing and eye opening!!! At first he called me Miss B... but by the end of the weekend he was calling me Auntie. I never told him what to call me past the first day, but as the dynamic adjusted it morphed into a more loving space than just the babysitter.

So I spent the next few years meeting and befriending other littles, gleaning what I could from different dynamics of the lifestyle and how it would fit into my own professional life as a healthcare worker. Looking back it was quite interesting how my own desires changed to the Mommy that I am now.

Fast forward 5 years and I met Bella on Collarspace. His profile said he was a little sissy girl at heart but he was not quick to jump to that role in our initial correspondence as I wanted to know more about him in his vanilla life before I encouraged the Mommy/little dynamic. In all our initial notes and letters, I signed off as Ms L... , letting him come to his own determination as to whether I felt life the Mommy he was looking for. It took about a week, but as I brought him closer to me and explained more about what I was looking for and allowed him to tell me all of his hidden truths, "she" finally very emotionally called me Mommy and from then on, I referred to myself as Mommy and started talking more Mommy/baby talk to her. I never insisted that she called me Mommy but rather told her that she would know when the time was right if she thought I could be her Mommy. I have never really known Bella as anything other than a babygirl so it is really all our dynamic is. We are fortunate to live in the middle of nowhere and only when we have to come to town or see relatives on holidays do we have to pretend to be anything else.

Yes, Bella is my ADULT baby and in that dynamic the adults in both of us have moved what would have been a Wife/husband relationship to a deeper more fulfilling and compassionate level. Bella has no choice in ANY matter as Mommy knows best. There is no friendship, or safe word, it is only Mommy/child.... with the "extra" component being completely Mommy dominated. We have found that the more regressed she becomes the more fulfilling the relationship is for both of us. Bella is from the UK so she usually calls me Mamma or Mummy in her little voice. I am not sure I have ever looked at her as a spousal unit or friend. She is my child.

Sounds so weird to write that down like that.
Sorry this is so long, it kinda got away from me.
I am really missing her lately. I hope she gets to come home soon.
 
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Everyones journey and experience is different and impressive in their own way to me. It’s really inspirational to hear of the variety and different dynamics of each relationship. The most important thing is that the relationship is something each person cherishes to their core.
The more depth of information you give just paints a more detailed image. Be as descriptive as you like although just consider we’re not in the “sexuality” forum 😹

One thing I’ll add with my dynamic; I don’t bring the furry side of me into the equation. I guess because of dynamics and needs for specific littles it’s not yet been required or even viable?

Maybe the reason I feel like I am getting my own satisfaction out of caring is because I didn’t go into the literal childcare services because I had the DL/Little/Furry dynamic from a young age. Also as a guy I didn’t believe it was a safe career to care for people’s children knowing how aggressive some people get. But that’s many years ago and not something I’ll pursue now anyway. Looking after the adult babies is much more rewarding to my heart anyway.
 
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As a little and very service oriented person , I get great pleasure from doing things for people I care for and love . Acts of service is high up on my love language list . I enjoy preparing meals for her , bringing her coffee in the morning , fixing things around her house , taking her to appointments . The list goes on . When we first started doing this , it was really hard for me to let go of that and allow her to take care of me . I suppose I am just hard wired this way and always looking for ways to give her service and to others that are close to me.

I know she loves me and gets great joy seeing my little shine out . I learned to let go and let her take care of me. She knows my little triggers and can put me in little headspace very easily.
 
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