careers and ABDL'ism-especially when coupled with a daddy/mommy

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waslost1234abc

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not sure how im going to pose this question to the community so im just going to come out and ask it.....but first a little background:

im 28 and my bf/daddy is 28. we are both life long prebyterians and he is getting ready to go to seminary, which means one day he will be a presbyterian minister. right now he has his BA in Choral Conducting and for work he is the director of music for his church and teaches(vocal lessons) on the side. this of course bodes well with me because i love music and have been in a couple acapella groups(in fact may be auditioning to be a part of my old group(theuptown4.com)...we both have very adult goals and see each other as both lovers and ageplay partners. we both have disabilities but he doesnt wear. he has had daddy fantasies going back to when he was 13. i have no daddy desires although im a real life daddy but i also wear 24/7 first because i have too and always have but i also like it too...we are both progressive politically and have been working behind the scenes in different capacities to change the heart of the presbyterian church to be fully welcome to all people including GLBTQ and it has paid off because the church has been holding a rolling vote of all the presbyteries in the united states and its expected that the change will be made to allow openly gay ministers. next year it is expected the church will start recognizing gay marriage....
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so now to the question.....many people have shocked expressions when i explain my bf/daddy is going to be a presbyterian minister. recognizing that his position will be very public and open are there any other careers that others feel might entail a lot of work around? or another question when looking for your partner in crime/life what careers would you be leery of? what careers would really facinate you? any other thoughts?
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on a similar note while i plan to get my degree in public administration and social work i also plan on going the non law school route(rule 6 law clerk program through the WSBA) to get licensed to practice law in the state of washingon and its very possible that i might be in elected politics so i might end up with a public career

i never would have envisioned that my eventual life partner would be a minister much a less a presbyterian...wasnt even sure if i would find another christian, but now that i have found all of the above im incredibly excited for so many different reasons...btw if any one is interested i met him on rupadded and im excited to say he is staying with me for a week and while he is down here he is enrolling at seattle university for his masters in divinity and then he is moving in in june after i fly down to illinois to attend a wedding with him and meet his friends and family....
 

Orcaway

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I beleive You said in your other post you had never met him in real life? That is kind of sketchy situation...

But nontheless i hope it all works out for you, You sound very exited, and seem to really know what you want.
 

maddie212

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im just gonna say that i am an ab and i am in seminary and plan to be in full-time ministry... people look down on many things.. but Jesus/God looks to the ones who are not always the "accepted" ones and loves them and they are the ones he spends his time with!
 

waslost1234abc

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im just gonna say that i am an ab and i am in seminary and plan to be in full-time ministry... people look down on many things.. but Jesus/God looks to the ones who are not always the "accepted" ones and loves them and they are the ones he spends his time with!

very cool...please add me on yahoo...id love to chat about it if you are comfortable....my yahoo id is in my profile....but i will say that god loves every one......god seems to take a special interest in "the least of these"(from matthew 25) but even loves the arrogant and wealthy etc etc....may not approve of certain things but he loves every one....

also god is gender neutral jesus was a man and the holy spirit is a female....just my opinion....glad to see ya following your heart

---------- Post added at 10:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:57 PM ----------

I beleive You said in your other post you had never met him in real life? That is kind of sketchy situation...

But nontheless i hope it all works out for you, You sound very exited, and seem to really know what you want.

im 28 years old and have been around the block a couple times....thats not to say i still shouldnt be careful but i have been in relationships and married before where i met the person in person on many many dates over a long period of time and all those went no where for numerous reasons....the main one being i ignored warning signs/red flags.....im at a point in my life where i know, i know what i want and need to complete me as a person.....me and him had no expectations from the begininng but over the past 6 months or so things have really grown between us two....it is possible to build a solid foundation online with some one....it takes sacrifice and maturity and that is something both of us have.......for us there are just too many commonalities between us two to not take a chance....we talk everyday for several hours by phone text messenger and video chat through skype and every day we discover something else about each other.......true love is not just for fairy tales....god has brought two disabled gay presbyterians together...thats what i see here....
 

happydl

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In regards to careers, I really believe that people should persue what they see as their personal calling in life. Life is way to short too be stuck in a career that you don't like. Don't worry so much about about what other people think as long as you are doing what you love.
 

maddie212

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.god seems to take a special interest in "the least of these"(from matthew 25) but even loves the arrogant and wealthy etc etc....may not approve of certain things but he loves every one....

Matthew 25 is my favorite.... Especially Matthew 25:34-40. And I'm doing some reframing of who Jesus is...
and I wouldn't mind talking but I'm not really comfy right now... I'm working through a bunch of crap right now...
maybe in the future!
 
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not sure how im going to pose this question to the community so im just going to come out and ask it.....but first a little background:

im 28 and my bf/daddy is 28. we are both life long prebyterians and he is getting ready to go to seminary, which means one day he will be a presbyterian minister. right now he has his BA in Choral Conducting and for work he is the director of music for his church and teaches(vocal lessons) on the side. this of course bodes well with me because i love music and have been in a couple acapella groups(in fact may be auditioning to be a part of my old group(theuptown4.com)...we both have very adult goals and see each other as both lovers and ageplay partners. we both have disabilities but he doesnt wear. he has had daddy fantasies going back to when he was 13. i have no daddy desires although im a real life daddy but i also wear 24/7 first because i have too and always have but i also like it too...we are both progressive politically and have been working behind the scenes in different capacities to change the heart of the presbyterian church to be fully welcome to all people including GLBTQ and it has paid off because the church has been holding a rolling vote of all the presbyteries in the united states and its expected that the change will be made to allow openly gay ministers. next year it is expected the church will start recognizing gay marriage....
-------------------------------------------------------
so now to the question.....many people have shocked expressions when i explain my bf/daddy is going to be a presbyterian minister. recognizing that his position will be very public and open are there any other careers that others feel might entail a lot of work around? or another question when looking for your partner in crime/life what careers would you be leery of? what careers would really facinate you? any other thoughts?
-------------------------------------------------------
on a similar note while i plan to get my degree in public administration and social work i also plan on going the non law school route(rule 6 law clerk program through the WSBA) to get licensed to practice law in the state of washingon and its very possible that i might be in elected politics so i might end up with a public career

i never would have envisioned that my eventual life partner would be a minister much a less a presbyterian...wasnt even sure if i would find another christian, but now that i have found all of the above im incredibly excited for so many different reasons...btw if any one is interested i met him on rupadded and im excited to say he is staying with me for a week and while he is down here he is enrolling at seattle university for his masters in divinity and then he is moving in in june after i fly down to illinois to attend a wedding with him and meet his friends and family....

Unless you are diapered by him in public (e.g. in front of his future congregation), I am unsure why the one (ABDL-ism) would have anything to do with the other (a public or otherwise visible job/career).

Why would your closed-door activities encroach into your working lives?
 

waslost1234abc

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Unless you are diapered by him in public (e.g. in front of his future congregation), I am unsure why the one (ABDL-ism) would have anything to do with the other (a public or otherwise visible job/career).

Why would your closed-door activities encroach into your working lives?

when you are married to a minister it essentially becomes both of yours congregation....also for many ministers the home becomes and extension of the church.....i think what i was trying to get at is the assertion that there is less privacy and freedom to enjoy certain activities with certain careers.....politics and religous leaders are two good examples.....we do have to be extra careful because of the complications that would arise if anybody in the congregation found out or the national church.....on the plus side we dont have to worry to death about hiding my diapers.....i am a life long urinary and fecal incontinent individual...i have a prescription for (insurance purposes) my diapers.....if people where to have questions i could easily answer them....any how i wasnt trying to make this thread about me or my boyfriend/daddy but i was looking for input from other people who have considered more publicly visible careers.....a good example....i have a friend who is looking to go to work for the state department and work in a foreign embassy hopefully as a diplomat....another example of a career where the right to privacy isnt necessarily guaranteed...
 
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when you are married to a minister it essentially becomes both of yours congregation....also for many ministers the home becomes and extension of the church.....i think what i was trying to get at is the assertion that there is less privacy and freedom to enjoy certain activities with certain careers.....politics and religous leaders are two good examples.....we do have to be extra careful because of the complications that would arise if anybody in the congregation found out or the national church.....on the plus side we dont have to worry to death about hiding my diapers.....i am a life long urinary and fecal incontinent individual...i have a prescription for (insurance purposes) my diapers.....if people where to have questions i could easily answer them....any how i wasnt trying to make this thread about me or my boyfriend/daddy but i was looking for input from other people who have considered more publicly visible careers.....a good example....i have a friend who is looking to go to work for the state department and work in a foreign embassy hopefully as a diplomat....another example of a career where the right to privacy isnt necessarily guaranteed...

My own policy is to never let something that I'd not want on the front page of the newspaper out in public. As it stands, I do have a rather public position in mind (teaching and researching at a public university), so I am not about to disclose items from my private life there.

Of course, I'd not disclose these things anyway, and keep my private and public faces disconnected. I think that the line--"private life vs. public life"--as become blurred in this country, leading many under-30s to be thoroughly confused about the difference between the two.

It is confusing for me because, no matter if my career were public or invisible, I would either way disconnect my private life from my work life. Hence, my desires in the bedroom or in my mate/spouse would be totally unimportant.

Privacy is what you make it. People cannot know what is inside your mind unless you tell them, and likewise cannot know what is inside your bedroom unless you (a) show them, (b) tell them, (c) have the misfortune to be so high-profile a target that they ransack your private residence. In the case of (c), though, you will have hired goons to hunt them down and kill them for you, so I don't think this an issue. :smile1:
 

BabyArtie

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As regards "other careers": there are certain places where a *B would need to think rather carefully about going.

I spent the better part of two decades working for an organisation which required me to have a government security clearance. In the UK there are several levels of this: the lower levels are primarily about identity checking and knowing that you are who you say you are. The top level isn't: every few years you go through a detailed interview with a trained investigator (many of them are ex-police). The questions about sexuality are not actually that bad - the last interview was a lot more civilised than my initial check with a very old-school plod. What is not nice is that they have access to bank account details.

I can empathise with regards to the position of a church minister. A great many churches in the UK are far less tolerant of LGBT (what's the Q for?) - indeed, my church (Anglican) is still not over the battle as regards women ministers. Part of that is the influence of the way Britons view sex mainly as something dirty to snigger about: it's one of the many things where we get carried along with the flow rather than challenging it.

Hugs,

Artie
 
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As regards "other careers": there are certain places where a *B would need to think rather carefully about going.

I spent the better part of two decades working for an organisation which required me to have a government security clearance. In the UK there are several levels of this: the lower levels are primarily about identity checking and knowing that you are who you say you are. The top level isn't: every few years you go through a detailed interview with a trained investigator (many of them are ex-police). The questions about sexuality are not actually that bad - the last interview was a lot more civilised than my initial check with a very old-school plod. What is not nice is that they have access to bank account details.

I can empathise with regards to the position of a church minister. A great many churches in the UK are far less tolerant of LGBT (what's the Q for?) - indeed, my church (Anglican) is still not over the battle as regards women ministers. Part of that is the influence of the way Britons view sex mainly as something dirty to snigger about: it's one of the many things where we get carried along with the flow rather than challenging it.

Hugs,

Artie

Bluntly put: if there is something that someone can hold over you and leverage secrets or confidential information that you are privy to out of you, you need to disclose.

What it boils down to is this: if you hold clearance, and you happen to like doing things that are odd, private, and not illegal, you had best fess up to these things in your interview and be fine with this going public. If not: (a) you'll lose your job, as--at very high levels--you'll be found out; (b) it will become public anyway when a blackmail/extortion/secrets-for-secrets deal breaks down; (c) you'll be outed AND shamed.

The main issue--in ASIO and UK-USA agreement circles--is not really what your odd desires are (as long as they are legal), it is not being able to have them leveraged against you in an effort to get at the information you have or have access to.
 

BabyArtie

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Bluntly put: if there is something that someone can hold over you and leverage secrets or confidential information that you are privy to out of you, you need to disclose.

What it boils down to is this: if you hold clearance, and you happen to like doing things that are odd, private, and not illegal, you had best fess up to these things in your interview and be fine with this going public. If not: (a) you'll lose your job, as--at very high levels--you'll be found out; (b) it will become public anyway when a blackmail/extortion/secrets-for-secrets deal breaks down; (c) you'll be outed AND shamed.

The main issue--in ASIO and UK-USA agreement circles--is not really what your odd desires are (as long as they are legal), it is not being able to have them leveraged against you in an effort to get at the information you have or have access to.

This is true... but not the whole story.

Firstly, what is considered legal and acceptable is a moving target. When I joined, admitting to being homosexual (I wasn't, but insinuations were made because I did not have a girlfriend) was grounds for dismissal, but people did not really care what I did with my money. That's changed, and I (like everyone else) have no crystal ball to tell me what will change in the future; nor is admitting something I didn't admit to before going to go down well.

Secondly, the biggest problem with people leveraging issues against me would not, I believe, have been from hostiles, but from members of my own organisation. Part of it would have been an argument that I might get away with that in my organisation, but not in the US, where risk management was not routinely practiced.

So I took the other, perfectly legitimate, alternative. I left.

Artie
 

closet dl

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As Happydl stated, it is wise to find a calling that you enjoy. I spent 13 years in the military, and do not regret my time there. There were some very good times and experiences, and I think they helped me grow as a person. I knew, however, from the beginning of my time in the military that it was not what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

I also held several positions in health care marketing for about an 8 year period. Those positions were also quite enjoyable and helped me to learn about the "bigger picture" of health care, but they also weren't exactly what I wanted to do.

I went back to college at age 37 and got my masters in nursing, and I have to say I am happier as a nurse than in any other field I have been in before. While the job is at times stressful and difficult, it is probably the most rewarding field I could imagine. I learn more about it every day, and I feel I can have a positive influence on people's lives. It also helps that my daughter says I am her hero because I save lives. :)

Anyway, I do not let my personal life and my professional life cross paths, except to say that I am probably a lot more accepting of other people's lives knowing I am a little bit less than mainstream when it comes to my diaper fetish.

Good luck to both of you, and I hope all goes well at seminary!
 
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OmegaOne

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Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning. Basically, the people that no they are not the average Joe, but aren't entirely sure where to categorise themselves.

It can also mean queer - a catch-all.
 

Zephy

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It can also mean queer - a catch-all.

That's what I took it to mean--queer.

According to my studies a couple months ago on sexual identity, some people feel that "queer" is politically charged and has too much of a negative connotation. Questioning is a more politically correct alternative, though some people do use "queer".
 

BabyArtie

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Ah - thank you. It's not something that I've seen used over in the UK.

Artie
 
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