Can someone become ABDL or are they "born this way"

UnderTheRadar

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So I am not ABDL I'm just a person who has struggled with bed wetting off and on, all my life

In fact I'm almost 40 years old and I've managed to hide it for the most part since my sophomore year in high school

When my ex-wife saw some of the old diapers that I had left over from a time when I was bed-wetting, I just told her it was a sex thing... And we never talked about it again

It wasn't a sex thing... But somehow I felt better with her thinking it was just a kink and not a defect in me...

Luckily I've never been in bed with somebody I was intimate with and wet the bed

Until a little over a week ago

I'm now happily married to my (2nd) forever wife

But about a week ago I went to bed for the first time nearly 8 years... She and I both agreed that maybe wearing some protection for a little bit would not be a bad idea because changing the sheets and washing them as a real big pain in the butt when you have to go to the laundromat

Anyway so I've been wearing diapers to bed... And my wife has been pretty cool about it...

But it seems that I've been exceptionally frisky... Apparently pretty much every night my wife will wake up and I'll have my hand on her breast... I'm kind of be straddling her in my sleep

As I can imagine this gets her hot and bothered

And then eventually we wake up and do the things that adults do

However something kind of strange happened a couple nights ago... I noticed that she would touch my thigh but pretty much stop whenever she would hit the diaper

Anyway I was pretty worked up at that point and I told her... "You know you can still touch it"

Anyway she did... And I really liked it...

Does this mean I
'm going to turn into an ABDL?
 
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Oh Radar, I think you have been ABDL for a while. Sounds like you have a good thing going with the wife. Don’t mess it up. Be aware of her attitudes and her feelings. Keep the communication channels open. This is going to turn out just fine.
 
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Stay honest with her no matter how hard it is. Don't force things with her. Let her get involved on her own time. While your in your didee's joke around with her and pay attention to how her reaction is. But never assume. I was a normal man while married to my better half our world was turned upside down when she got the call to go to the hospital. It took a he'll of a lot to get to where we were. But it wouldn't of happened if we didn't have the discussions we had we made it 50yrs before she passed. But not all women are the same. But the one thing that they want is honesty. I guess it's respect earns respect
 
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For me I think its both. From the nature standpoint I was completely neglected and unloved by my mother so that's half of it and the other half is I was born autistic and there's just a comfort in wearing a diaper and regressing. It gets me away from the sensory overload of the world and is SOOO comforting.
 
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Ha ha, well, I don’t believe in a “diaper gene,” but I wouldn’t be surprised if some of us were more likely than others to develop these sorts of attachments.

And I don’t think that liking sex when you happen to be in a diaper makes you a DL, but if the diaper adds something to the experience… in a good way… 🤷
 
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Honestly I think that's a good question I myself have been interested in wearing diapers since as long as I can remember quite literally some of my earliest memories are asking my cousin to help me try on one of her diapers when I was like 4 or 5 years old so I think I've always been interested in them I will say that I have had Partners in the past that have not had any experience with diapers at all and actually tried them and enjoyed it and actually began to like them after being exposed to it from me wearing 24/7 so I definitely think it's something that can grow on someone basically they just have to be willing to get over the mental stigma that Society puts on it being wrong or bad or something because there's literally nothing wrong with wearing anything dress however you want regardless of what people think
 
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its a age old question like which comes first chicken or the egg for me i enjoy it like detaching from everyday struggles of life into something that is personal and u are in control of i think your past has a lot to do with it and its not a matter of your up bring not parents fault its just a way of expressing your inner feelings and if your gut instinct tells u and it feels right trust your feelings and your one lucky person to have a partner who understands stick with her and as others say keep communications open and honest
 
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I'm sure I have been ABDL my whole life, well the DL part anyways. From the moment I can remember I've wanted to wear nappies and never stopped liking them. I discovered the AB part in my early teens.
 
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It's definitely a combination of nature and nurture. On one hand, ABDLs tend to remember one or more 'trigger events' that started the feelings for them, and they tend to have some kind of relevant youth trauma as well. On the other hand, there is likely a genetic aspect to it, judging by, for example, the disproportionate amount of autistic people in the scene.
 
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UnderTheRadar said:
So I am not ABDL I'm just a person who has struggled with bed wetting off and on, all my life

In fact I'm almost 40 years old and I've managed to hide it for the most part since my sophomore year in high school

When my ex-wife saw some of the old diapers that I had left over from a time when I was bed-wetting, I just told her it was a sex thing... And we never talked about it again

It wasn't a sex thing... But somehow I felt better with her thinking it was just a kink and not a defect in me...

Luckily I've never been in bed with somebody I was intimate with and wet the bed

Until a little over a week ago

I'm now happily married to my (2nd) forever wife

But about a week ago I went to bed for the first time nearly 8 years... She and I both agreed that maybe wearing some protection for a little bit would not be a bad idea because changing the sheets and washing them as a real big pain in the butt when you have to go to the laundromat

Anyway so I've been wearing diapers to bed... And my wife has been pretty cool about it...

But it seems that I've been exceptionally frisky... Apparently pretty much every night my wife will wake up and I'll have my hand on her breast... I'm kind of be straddling her in my sleep

As I can imagine this gets her hot and bothered

And then eventually we wake up and do the things that adults do

However something kind of strange happened a couple nights ago... I noticed that she would touch my thigh but pretty much stop whenever she would hit the diaper

Anyway I was pretty worked up at that point and I told her... "You know you can still touch it"

Anyway she did... And I really liked it...

Does this mean I
'm going to turn into an ABDL?
first off i don't think you are turning ABDL just because diapers are a sexual turn on for you and your wife, but who knows only you know that. ABDL like everything else is a mind set not just a collection of behaviors. i believe we are all born with the standard instincts (the need for love and care and safety and etc) along with certain genetics that make each one of us unique. who we become is mostly shaped by our experiences and our development. a willingness to explore the many different sides within each of us goes a long way. life is a non stop journey of discovery about oneself and the world around us. don't judge what makes you happy, excited, and bring joy into your life as long as you are not hurting anyone. i don't believe anyone has to define what makes him or her tick inside just go with it. the beauty of the ABDL community is there are no set rules to it for you define that for yourself.
 
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Until I reflected upon my memories, I was heavily diaper influenced. I remember growing up and there being a bag of diapers in the closet and diapering my stuffed animals, I remember be jealous of when my cousin was born. Then when my mom took care of my great grandma who was in diapers. Then when I was 12 I had heart surgery, I saw older kids in diapers. When I woke up I was in a diaper and catheterized. So it is not a far leap that between 13 and 18 I was thinking about diapers and finally at 18 got the courage to buy a bag.
 
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The theory I'm convinced beyond all doubt is the best one I will have for the rest of my life concerning why some people form such strong desires for diapers is called imprinting. Imprinting is a natural process that pretty much determines the lifelong, social/sexual desires an individual will have. It's not likely you were born with a strong attraction to diapers. Imprinted characteristics generally form during the early years after birth. However, some imprinted characteristics, like heterosexual or homosexual desires, could be caused by conditions in the womb, such as the presence or absence of certain hormones. Gender identity, too, could be imprinted in the womb for the same reason, but there was some debate as to whether or not gender identity is an imprinted characteristic.
 
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My answer: "yes". I believe I was born this way, mostly due to autism. What added to it was, of course my extended babyhood, living in diapers for over 3 years, feeling how snug, warm, bulky, comfy...and soothingly soft they were, be they cloth or Pampers. Diapers definitely imprinted on me, and for years after just seeing a baby in a diaper had me craving to be back in diapers again myself. 10 or so years later...I got my wish and got back on the road to comfy happiness again.

As for becoming...sure, why not? Unless some of us were Mayim Bialik's kids, we were all in diapers once and have some degree of subconscious imprint in us. Unfortunately, all that the vast majority of people wanna remember about diapers are the icky stuff, failing to consider that diapers go on clean, dry, warm, cuddly soft and oh, so comfy. They'll never understand or appreciate the sensory goodness diapers give when clean and dry. 🤗🥰🥳🧸🍼🤭
 
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Drifter said:
The theory I'm convinced beyond all doubt is the best one I will have for the rest of my life concerning why some people form such strong desires for diapers is called imprinting. Imprinting is a natural process that pretty much determines the lifelong, social/sexual desires an individual will have. It's not likely you were born with a strong attraction to diapers. Imprinted characteristics generally form during the early years after birth. However, some imprinted characteristics, like heterosexual or homosexual desires, could be caused by conditions in the womb, such as the presence or absence of certain hormones. Gender identity, too, could be imprinted in the womb for the same reason, but there was some debate as to whether or not gender identity is an imprinted characteristic.
Not far from this theory is the idea that diapers are a transitional object. Ie, when a child is past sleeping next to its mother, past breast feeding etc, the last item connecting physical nurturing is getting diapered. It takes on the safety and intimate comfort that the mother used to supply in greater abundance. There is more on this website if you dig deep into the posts.
 
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Drifter said:
The theory I'm convinced beyond all doubt is the best one I will have for the rest of my life concerning why some people form such strong desires for diapers is called imprinting. Imprinting is a natural process that pretty much determines the lifelong, social/sexual desires an individual will have. It's not likely you were born with a strong attraction to diapers. Imprinted characteristics generally form during the early years after birth. However, some imprinted characteristics, like heterosexual or homosexual desires, could be caused by conditions in the womb, such as the presence or absence of certain hormones. Gender identity, too, could be imprinted in the womb for the same reason, but there was some debate as to whether or not gender identity is an imprinted characteristic.
So perhaps if someone was potty trained early, then had a surgery shortly after and went back into diapers for a while, then abruptly taken out of diapers then after accidents in preschool abruptly put back into diapers?


The reason I am concerned is that I honestly, after thinking back on my bedwetting, if I was honest, I find the diapers to be a huge stress reliever... Kinda more centered if that makes any sense at all... That's isn't my reason to wear them, the reason is I don't want a wet bed... but the stress relief is a welcome byproduct
 
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Yes you can become ABDL it happened to me I was CD as child thur to adulthood.
Saw adult diapers in a sears catalog knew Immediately I had to try them had never Thought about diapers before.
That was 40 y/o haven’t CD in years but I’m wearing diapers daily.
 
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Subtlerustle said:
Not far from this theory is the idea that diapers are a transitional object. Ie, when a child is past sleeping next to its mother, past breast feeding etc, the last item connecting physical nurturing is getting diapered. It takes on the safety and intimate comfort that the mother used to supply in greater abundance. There is more on this website if you dig deep into the posts.
There are many psychological theories for this. I spent 30 years looking for the most logical explanation for ABDL desires before I stumbled across imprinting. During that time I came up with my own psychological theories but I always remained skepitical.
 
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UnderTheRadar said:
So perhaps if someone was potty trained early, then had a surgery shortly after and went back into diapers for a while, then abruptly taken out of diapers then after accidents in preschool abruptly put back into diapers?


The reason I am concerned is that I honestly, after thinking back on my bedwetting, if I was honest, I find the diapers to be a huge stress reliever... Kinda more centered if that makes any sense at all... That's isn't my reason to wear them, the reason is I don't want a wet bed... but the stress relief is a welcome byproduct
I think one thing everyone will agree with is that diapers must have been present in some form before anyone could become so emotionally attached to them. The specific events that cause a person to become so attached to diapers may never be known. What is known is that anything present in a person's early environment has the potential of becoming an object of imprinted desire. Imprinting can also have a negative affect. For example, people are rarely sexually attracted to the people they grew up with. They tend to find the thought of having sex with those people repulsive.
 
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I think anyone can become ABDL, or just DL. I don't however believe we are born that way. It's true that there is usually a trigger, which may or may not stem to childhood. I think it's different for everyone. Similarly, it's not always the case that there is a sexual connection with the wearing of diapers for all ABDL's, with many feeling no sexual urges at all.

As others's have suggested, be truthful to your wife, and allow her to move at her own pace.
 
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Quick reply i would say it can only be developed at any stage or age of life
 
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