Busted little, shamed wife

diaperedwife4life

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Hey everyone, I’m new here, I’ve decided to join because ie lurked for years. And because I very Recently was discovered by my husband. I had Ben doing some shopping online, an left laptop logged into my Amazon account. Now this wolf not have been bad however I have always been so paranoid that I have wi accounts. One that I use for daily life and one I use for well, yes diapers/onsies . Since I’m here you can guess witch one was still offed in Hubby came out to my “ she shed” and said he needed to discuss something. We sat down and said “ what I’m the actual guy is this” showing me my orders of all kinds of ABDL diapers, and onsies. I froze I shut down and just cried. My worst nightmare ( being caught) had happened. I began to word vomit “ you can leave, you can divorce me you now know how much of A weirdo I am” ect.

His response was what wrong with you, do you need to see a doctor? Diapers? Onsies?

I didn’t know what to do, I retreated, locked myself in our room. Since then he hasn’t brought it up, nor have I. There is definitely some tension and I know I needs to be discussed….no idea where to start😢
 
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SpAzpieSweeTot

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Buy, "You're Not Broken," by Dr. Rhoda Lipscomb. I repeat, doctor! Weird, your husband wants you to see a doctor, and the expert in ABDL literally wrote a book saying there's nothing wrong with you. Hugs. She's written more than one book on ABDL, but I don't know what the other one is called.
 
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TeddyJoy

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SpAzpieSweeTot said:
Buy, "You're Not Broken," by Dr. Rhoda Lipscomb. I repeat, doctor! Weird, your husband wants you to see a doctor, and the expert in ABDL literally wrote a book saying there's nothing wrong with you. Hugs.
That's what good advice looks like. I'm sure he asked about the doctor out of concern. Like a physician. Hope everything works out.
 
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Nowididit

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Well it's time for the talk. Shutting down isn't going to help.
When I was caught by the wife I tried denying everything. She found one of my wet rolled up diapers under the bed. When she confronted me with the diaper in her hand asking where it came from I immediately began lying saying I have no clue. The lie went as far as blaming the neighbor kids until she picked up the phone to call the neighbor. That's when I had to come out and fess up.
We were already 10+ yrs into our relationship and confessing my lifelong desire for diapers was not easy, but I had no choice.
Long story short I'm a better man/husband/father today because of it. So here we are almost 20 yrs later and things couldn't be better.

Also you might want to find and print the article "Understanding Infantilism" and look for other articles for your husband to read and maybe get an understanding of what it is that you are doing.
 
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dlover

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Well, hopefully the lines of communication will remain open and you can discuss your desires and needs. Maybe at one point you won't need to hide yourself anymore and be free to be you.
 
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dlover

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As for me I still remain in hiding, not discovered yet, but I fear the day when it comes.
 
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dogboy

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As the older members here know, I got caught by my wife through an Amazon order. They also know that she was incredibly accepting and understanding. We did have that long uncomfortable talk and it gave me the opportunity to rationally explain what being both AB and DL was and that in my case, it was something I always felt. Once she knew what was going on, she was very accepting.

Get your thoughts in line. You might look up Infantalism on Wikipedia as they have good explanations and the article might help organize your thoughts. We are unusual people but we're not crazy or insane. We simply have a rare kink that confuses people.
 
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SpAzpieSweeTot

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TeddyJoy said:
That's what good advice looks like. I'm sure he asked about the doctor out of concern. Like a physician. Hope everything works out.
Except, "What the actual F%$* Is this?!? What's wrong with you," isn't the typical reaction for someone who means physician.

Dude meant shrink. Joke's on him. There's nothing wrong with her, and the expert shrink knows it.
 
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TeddyJoy

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SpAzpieSweeTot said:
Except, "What the actual F%$* Is this?!? What's wrong with you," isn't the typical reaction for someone who means physician.

Dude meant shrink. Joke's on him. There's nothing wrong with her, and the expert shrink knows it.
Yeah, fair enough.

Agree, nothing wrong with you. Not a weirdo, or maybe you are, I don't know ya. But not for enjoying what makes you happy. Diapers and onesies are awesome!
 
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Cottontail

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diaperedwife4life said:
My worst nightmare ( being caught) had happened.
I sympathize a lot. As I shared in my reply to your intro, I was caught by my wife after about 12 years of marriage. I don't know if her exact reaction would've made a difference in how I felt unless it had been overwhelmingly positive--which it wasn't. So I felt like a total piece of garbage. At this point, there's certainly nothing better to do than shoot straight with your hubby. I honestly, truly think this will end better than it began. His reaction was bound to be one of surprise, and although the things he said were maybe a bit mean (it's so hard to "get" this stuff through text, so I'm trying not to pass undue judgment), I still think they fit with being caught off guard and not knowing what to say. Meanwhile, you've obviously been saving up guilt for a while and now the dam has burst. You're being way too hard on yourself, guaranteed.

This stuff is super hard to share, let's be honest. I apologized to my wife for keeping it from her, but I also told her that if I had it to do again... I'd probably still hide it, because I'd spent literally my entire childhood hiding it. It was a survival instinct. It was automatic. That doesn't exactly excuse keeping secrets from one's spouse, but discussing it might trigger some empathy. It's a sad reality most of us share, that we feel afraid of being rejected by people we love over an innocent quirk. I talked a bit about that with my wife, and while she didn't suddenly love the idea of my wearing diapers, it definitely blunted her frustration with my secrecy.

Take care. Don't offer divorce or cast yourself as a weirdo. You're still everything he loved about you, plus this little tender spot. :)
 
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littlemoosey

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Cottontail said:
Take care. Don't offer divorce or cast yourself as a weirdo. You're still everything he loved about you, plus this little tender spot. :)
Perfectly stated.

You are still you nothing changes that at all. Now he knows a little more about you, like Cottontail said... a little tender spot.

Good luck.
 
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blissfullyquirky

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Be honest with him and share your emotions. Don't just tell him you like to wear diapers and feel little, tell him why. Tell him what emotional need that fulfills for you, and how even though it's weird, you've never been able to meet that need any other way.

Or if you don't fully understand why you feel compelled to wear diapers, tell him how hard that is for you to want something that most people find so weird and you don't know why you want it. Tell him how lonely and isolating it is to feel like that (especially if this started for you when you were a kid and you thought you were the only one in the world that felt that way). Let him see your tears. Before he was focusing on the weird diapers and adult baby clothes, but he needs to be focused on you.

Because it's not about the diapers, not really. It's about you being the scared, confused little girl that's wearing them. 🫂
 
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diaperedwife4life

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SpAzpieSweeTot said:
Except, "What the actual F%$* Is this?!? What's wrong with you," isn't the typical reaction for someone who means physician.

Dude meant shrink. Joke's on him. There's nothing wrong with her, and the expert shrink knows it.
I’ve always struggled
SpAzpieSweeTot said:
Except, "What the actual F%$* Is this?!? What's wrong with you," isn't the typical reaction for someone who means physician.

Dude meant shrink. Joke's on him. There's nothing wrong with her, and the expert shrink knows it.
when he said that, I felt crippled, it hurt so bad because I already struggle with my personal self acceptance with my little side let alone that I feel safe and secure in diapers. I’m an emotional wreck right.
 
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littlemoosey

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Hang in there it may take some me time for him to understand.

I think in general guys come around faster and accept this more often than girls accept this in their man.

Good luck.
 
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diaperedwife4life

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Cottontail said:
I sympathize a lot. As I shared in my reply to your intro, I was caught by my wife after about 12 years of marriage. I don't know if her exact reaction would've made a difference in how I felt unless it had been overwhelmingly positive--which it wasn't. So I felt like a total piece of garbage. At this point, there's certainly nothing better to do than shoot straight with your hubby. I honestly, truly think this will end better than it began. His reaction was bound to be one of surprise, and although the things he said were maybe a bit mean (it's so hard to "get" this stuff through text, so I'm trying not to pass undue judgment), I still think they fit with being caught off guard and not knowing what to say. Meanwhile, you've obviously been saving up guilt for a while and now the dam has burst. You're being way too hard on yourself, guaranteed.

This stuff is super hard to share, let's be honest. I apologized to my wife for keeping it from her, but I also told her that if I had it to do again... I'd probably still hide it, because I'd spent literally my entire childhood hiding it. It was a survival instinct. It was automatic. That doesn't exactly excuse keeping secrets from one's spouse, but discussing it might trigger some empathy. It's a sad reality most of us share, that we feel afraid of being rejected by people we love over an innocent quirk. I talked a bit about that with my wife, and while she didn't suddenly love the idea of my wearing diapers, it definitely blunted her frustration with my secrecy.

Take care. Don't offer divorce or cast yourself as a weirdo. You're still everything he loved about you, plus this little tender spot. :)
Hindsight 20/20 , I may have jumped the gun and sad if he wanted to leave I would understand, whakilled me was he said he was not sure, as he didn’t sign up to be with someone who wants to wear diapers or be baby:( my inner little was crushed
 
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diaperedwife4life

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As of this evening, my husband ( hopefully he is still) decided to stay with a friend, idk what to do. My plushie is getting covered in tears, I knew there would be a shock factor when he found out but leaving our home…..this part of me isn’t like I’ve had an affair , or hard drugs:( ugh
 
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Forced

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diaperedwife4life said:
As of this evening, my husband ( hopefully he is still) decided to stay with a friend, idk what to do. My plushie is getting covered in tears, I knew there would be a shock factor when he found out but leaving our home…..this part of me isn’t like I’ve had an affair , or hard drugs:( ugh

So sorry to hear that.
Fingers crossed he thinks about his acceptance issue and works out that you’re doing nothing harmful or wrong.
 
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Eclectic

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diaperedwife4life said:
As of this evening, my husband ( hopefully he is still) decided to stay with a friend, idk what to do. My plushie is getting covered in tears, I knew there would be a shock factor when he found out but leaving our home…..this part of me isn’t like I’ve had an affair , or hard drugs:( ugh
Some people have a hard time accepting this in their spouse. I’ll repeat that for clarity, that means he is having a hard time digesting it. It does not mean there is anything wrong with you. You haven’t changed and you haven’t done anything wrong except by not divulging this information to him earlier in your relationship. And, that last part is very hard to do, especially if you are like most of us and keep this hidden away as a special part of you.

Be strong and you will get through this.
 
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Cottontail

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diaperedwife4life said:
As of this evening, my husband ( hopefully he is still) decided to stay with a friend, idk what to do. My plushie is getting covered in tears, I knew there would be a shock factor when he found out but leaving our home…..this part of me isn’t like I’ve had an affair , or hard drugs:( ugh
Aiee. 😕 Boy... I wish I had any good advice. I really hope he comes around. Spending the night elsewhere is a bit heavy, but perhaps it'll give him the perspective to realize that this isn't something to be afraid of. Sending virtual hugs and best wishes in the meantime.
 
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Reward

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That's an over reaction on his part imo.
I hope you can gain some additional self acceptance by reading these messages. If it turns out he's so closed minded he can't process this and move on ..then your instinct to hide your inner self from him has been affirmed.
You aren't a weirdo. We're all individuals that deserve to be accepted for whatever we have going on.
I hope you eventually have the strength to stand your ground and (if you have to) say something along the the lines of take me or leave me, if it's such a big problem he can't get over it.
I think everyone's pulling for you and feels your pain. I'm glad your reaching out and sharing this so honestly.
Be true to yourself
 
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