Bullyed / Picked on...was you ?

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Wegs

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I'd have to say that my dad was the most persistand and hurtful bully in my life when I was growing up. I had poor eyesight and a really bad speech impediment when I was young (the speech impediment went away in my early 20s, oddly enough). But my dad never missed an opportunity to ridicule and shame me.

Of course, being clumsy, speaking poorly, and having to wear really thick glasses made me a bullly magnet at school too. But somehow the bullying I got at school was more tolerable than what I got at home. Dad made the insults and shaming more personal somehow.

Of course, he was an abuser in many senses of the word (if someone started a thread called "Are you a child abuse survivor?" I could practically write a three-volume set about my dad. Yeah, he sucked.



Like Butterfly Mage, I was verbally bullied by kids AND my dad while growing up (I was never physically hurt because, well, he knew better, my mom wouldn't tolerate it, and also I fought back. At 8 years old I drew a knife on him, he walked away after that). But he would take every opportunity to mock me on my weight and on how lazy I was, basically saying that he wasn't proud of me in any sense (he's not my real father, my real father lives 3 states away, he was an abusive alcoholic).

I don't think in any way that it attributed to me being a *B/DL, at all. During that time, all I wanted was to be absolutely grown up, and out of the house (it really sucks to be 8 years old, younger than that even, and despise having to go home). So no, I can't say that being bullied helped me along the way to being a *B. Although it could be different for others.

I have a similar experience. My dad is an ass. My dad drank would constantly refer to me not being his idea of the perfect son as "Baby Bullshit" and try to force me to be someone I'm not. My dad used to beat the shit out of me with the excuse to my mother of "we were wrestling around" (she was never close enough to the fighting to know the truth) and he still screams at me if my grades are lower then a B+. Sorry for the vulgarity and ranting, but I hate him. As for bullying in school, I rarely received any. I'm a super-skinny/near weightless midget, but I'm smart. Most people know not to mess with me. The most that can be considerd bullying was occasionally having someone crunch me (I kid you not)

Guess I should come clean with you people.
What do you mean you people? :D
 

WildThing121675

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Me, I was bullied at school all my life except for when I was at the private Christian School I went to in the mid-late 1980s. I hated being teased, bullied and made fun of just because I was different, and obsessive about things.

High School, Freshman and Sophomore year were not that bad, because I had some protectors in the upper class who liked me. Guys that still like me to this day and buy me beers and shots all the time today. I was teased relentlessly IRONICALLY, not by members of my graduating class, but people under my class. I got it really bad my Junior and Senior year.

I also got teased, and made fun of in church by members of the youth group. It was bad there and the people in charge really didn't care. My mom and dad always used a line that people don't tease people in church even though my sisters backed me up about it. I had a tough time because I was slightly different, and obsessive about things growing up.

It also made me bitter for VERY long time and I finally started to let go of the bitterness and I am happier now that I am older and wiser.

WildThing121675
 

Takashi

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Pre-school: Not picked on, was very well liked and was considered a role modle.

Elementary: Was given a bunch of crap by the older kids in the neighborhood that were in middle school. I wasn't bullied in school intil about 3rd grade where my glasses were taken from me on a weekly basis and I offten steped on my glasses because they would throw them on the floor and I wouldn't be able to see them because they blended in with the carpeting.

Middle: In 6th grade I was given a bunch of crap by the "special" kids, E.H. MY ASS! In 7th, I fought back and was somewhat of a bully. In 8th, everything was very mellow and I didn't have any proplems.

High school: I haven't had that many problems, and became somewhat of a bully in my Jr. year.
 

Lowie

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I was bullied at school. Well it started in grade 5. I had dictionaries thrown at me, bibles thrown at me, you name it I was probably hit with it. One kid used to go home crying everyday cause of what the other kids did to me.

I was bullied in grades 7-9 but nowhere near as bad as grade 5. Near the end of Grade 9, I became somewhat of a bully to one kid though. He said something to me, I got angry, and beat him with a chair. (nearly landed me an assault charge too as I broke 3 of his ribs, one of his arms, I hurt his jaw, and his nose was broken)

High School: Not unless you count death threats. Most people were afraid of me.

I was and also still am a little bullied at home by my mom and stepdad. I usually just ignore them though.
 
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WildThing121675

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Another reason people don't fuck with me now is because one of my best girlfriends is a cop. Nobody wants to mess with a cop. lol.

Many have apologized to me for what they did to me or tried to apologize for those who had teased me and made my life hell. There's one individual that tormented my ass and still does when he can. I won't let him bother me, cause to me, he's just an idiot.

Nobody makes fun of me now because I won't allow it. If they do, they have to deal with those who are in my life now.

I've got a lot of allies in my home town. Carpet cleaning kings, Construction company CEOS, etc. Mess with me, you got to deal with them. Or even the owner of where I work will kick your ass out of the restaurant, same with the managers. THAT'S why I am at peace in my life. I realized a lot of hard truths after high school.

WildThing121675
 

ShippoFox

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Yeah, I was picked on quite badly back in elementary school. They used to insult me constantly, chase me, and even attack me sometimes.... though there were times where I just couldn't take their crap anymore and ended up being the one to attack first. (I didn't want any trouble, but they just wouldn't leave me alone, so I had to do something. And I never caused any real injuries anyway.) It was never enough to stop anything though, so the bullying was pretty much a daily thing.

They'd call me a girl and a baby, which I didn't like (millions of other things too, but these two are my focus right now). But... I think that's only because it was probably true. I was a crybaby and I was a bit girly in some ways. I ended up noticing my "offending" girly/babyish behaviors and suppressing them. (though I could argue that I was only a crybaby because everyone was just a total jerk to me!) It wasn't fair though... nothing I did was enough for them. And it's interesting that after I became so much more aware of how I acted at school... and after elementary school..... that was when infantilism and transgender stuff really started to appeal to me. But I would go through extreme binge/purge cycles. The purge cycles weren't due to a lack of interest at all, but due to feeling like a freak. I don't know why I ever cared what other people at school thought of me though (and it's not like I would have went to school in a dress and diaper!).... I don't have any true friends to show for it today. Oh, I even switched school at one point, but it just continued until after 5th grade. So as the bullying slowed down then, I ended up just being too hard on myself so it wouldn't start back up. There were some bad times here and there in middle school, but it wasn't as bad. In high school, it mostly stopped.

I'm not suggesting that my transgender feelings and infantilism came directly and purely from bullying though. I think it was something that just interested me. I wore a dress once when I was a little kid and loved it (before I was potty trained too) But dresses are for girls and baby stuff is for babies, according to atrocious stereotypes and such, so I had to push that stuff out of my mind and focus on being "normal" or whatever. (It was completely amazing when I found out there were other people that would actually want to wear diapers. I thought I was just a freak.) I had to want to be a big boy (and not a big girl, little girl, crossdressing boy, little boy, or anything like that) in order to not be a huge target. So though it didn't completely cause it, I do think that maybe the bullying intensified my feelings. And in a way the root of the bullying was just a bunch of stereotypes of what a boy is SUPPOSED to be. In some ways, the stereotypes even made me my own bully. :mad::frown:

The summary: I think bullying has really screwed me up a bit. It has very much affected my ability to socialize easily and make friends. I could probably come up with so much more to say if I tried really hard.
 

findlay

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was bullied every morning and every afternoon by grade 7ers when i was in ur 1....2 of those guys rep australia in the wallabies squad...and i was best friends with on of their younger brothers....to answer ur question....nar don't think it lead me to be a tb/dl
 

Puppyluvs

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I was teased at school, and while it wasn't excessive, it definitely lowered my self esteem, and made me pretty depressed during the first couple of years of high-school.

I was already into TB/DL stuff by the time I started at high-school, so I can't say that bullying caused it; but I did find it an enormous help with stress relief. I was great being able to go to bed at night wearing, and be able to completely tune out from any of the day's problems.

Interestingly, in my last few years of high-school, I ended up becoming quite good friends with a couple of the guys that I had been most scared of earlier; once I actually got to know them more, they turned out to not be so scary, and in fact quite fun to be around.
 

Charlie

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Quite a lot in primary school, it's probably what messed me up.

I ended up totally isolated which was worse. I moved primary schools and while people would say things, it was never really bad because I had other friends there.

I've generally always been bullied by my friends, typically just one who is the sort of natural leader of the group.
Right now I have a wonderful group of friends, and I find it really weird that I don't resent any of them.

I usually put up with bullying while it's in the 'just kidding' stage. I generally up and leave if it gets worse. I've completely let go of 'best friends' before.

I think bullies do feel guilt. I have this one friend who gets all apologetic when he's drunk, showing he does know that he's a cunt.
I'm still his friend though, mainly because I don't see him much any more. I kinda want to study him and see if I can harness that guilt in anyway.

I think being picked on early in life made my sexuality, a lot of feelings that turn me on (humiliation, submission) are those which I felt when being bullied.
Which is really fucking annoying.
 

PrinceMatthew

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I don't think any of that stuff would have impacted me that way. I would probably have had the same DL even PTB desires if I had lived a life without any teasing or crap like that.
 

Serendiapity

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The only people mean to me are some upperclassmen, and they're mean to everyone. I challenge their authority, they respond in a mean manner. But I don't let the bastards get me upset. :D
 
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It seems that there are fatties:

Just wondering on how many people was bullyed and pickon at school / work ? and may have cause this to want you be a baby/toddler again where you make you feel safe..

Myself yes I was bullyed in all my life due to wearing glasses and was being called names and people starting make fun of me from school to work and find it very hard. now being a little older that it was nice for me when I was young as a toddler where it was much safer for me and to cuddle next to a teddy bear

Yes I was picked on because I was Fat, but I had to protect myself so I did, I was never bothered after that.

I was picked on for two great childhood sins: being smart and chubby. It didn't help that I kept my disdain for most of those around me barely hidden under the surface. I discovered in eigth grade that if I picked on someone else (which started as retaliation), others picked on me less. I regret having done that.

It stopped when I went to high school. It was a private school, so the only two peope I knew before hand from my school were in a similar situation. Chubby in high schools translates into wrestling team and shot putting, and we valued intelligence above all else. I went from unpopular in middle school to one of the most pouplar in high school.

None of it had any effect on my desire to wear diapers and act like a baby, which pre-dates my entry into kindergarten by a good two or three years.

...there are smarties...
I was picked on for two great childhood sins: being smart and chubby. It didn't help that I kept my disdain for most of those around me barely hidden under the surface. I discovered in eigth grade that if I picked on someone else (which started as retaliation), others picked on me less. I regret having done that.

It stopped when I went to high school. It was a private school, so the only two peope I knew before hand from my school were in a similar situation. Chubby in high schools translates into wrestling team and shot putting, and we valued intelligence above all else. I went from unpopular in middle school to one of the most pouplar in high school.

None of it had any effect on my desire to wear diapers and act like a baby, which pre-dates my entry into kindergarten by a good two or three years.

...and there are unclassified reasons why we were bullied:
I definitely think that bullying contributed to my infantilism. Having been forced to go to a hostile environment 5 days a week (school), I think I eventually developed a subconscious desire to return to the carefree and happy days of toddlerhood.

I've always been the school loser, ever since first grade and even now. It doesn't bother me much anymore, but I would get really upset about it in elementary and middle schools. I never had any friends, and I still don't (except online, but there's a big difference between online friendships and friendships in real life). I'm not picked on so much anymore, but practically the entire school picked on me in elementary and middle schools.

I'm not really sure why this was. I was always considered one of the smart kids (until a brief period of my life, when I was pretty much considered a legitimate retard), but I was never fat or short. Anyway, my mom told me that I absolutely hated to be around other kids when I was a toddler/preschooler. I know I was very shy, but my psychiatrist seems to think I was born socially anxious (I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder a few months ago), and that I've always suffered from it. I didn't really notice its effects until middle school, but if I did suffer from social anxiety (basically severe panic attacks when in a social setting, like school) in elementary school, it's probably why I was always made fun of and never made friends.

Oh well. Life sucks, doesn't it? At least I don't have to go to school forever, though, and I think things are going to get better eventually.

Quite a lot in primary school, it's probably what messed me up.

I ended up totally isolated which was worse. I moved primary schools and while people would say things, it was never really bad because I had other friends there.

I've generally always been bullied by my friends, typically just one who is the sort of natural leader of the group.
Right now I have a wonderful group of friends, and I find it really weird that I don't resent any of them.

I usually put up with bullying while it's in the 'just kidding' stage. I generally up and leave if it gets worse. I've completely let go of 'best friends' before.

I think bullies do feel guilt. I have this one friend who gets all apologetic when he's drunk, showing he does know that he's a cunt.
I'm still his friend though, mainly because I don't see him much any more. I kinda want to study him and see if I can harness that guilt in anyway.

I think being picked on early in life made my sexuality, a lot of feelings that turn me on (humiliation, submission) are those which I felt when being bullied.
Which is really fucking annoying.
As some of you know, I am a large mammal. In HS I wrestled at 171lbs and was very compactly built, but with broad shoulders.

I should go back a bit.

I was picked on in elementary school (we moved to Arizona in 5th grade) and less in middle school and then not at all in high school after about a month in, and there is a very clear and compelling reason for the decline.

Simply put, I exercised power. Power is not at all about displaying one's prowess and such, but is really more about having the ability to do so.

In 5th grade, this kid was picking on me all year long. One day in the playground, I just lost it and beat the hell out of this guy. I looked up from him and found our teacher looking squarely at us. He shrugged and walked away. Apparently, idiot-kid's parents made my parents and the teacher meet to figure out what to do with this hell-child who beat their kid to a pulp. My parents told me that my teacher listened to them attentively, then told them that their kid had been tormenting me all year and that he got what he had coming. God, that guy (the teacher) was great.

In middle school, people must have forgotten about this, because I was jumped by 2 kids in the park (a fighting ground) on my way home one day. Sent one of them to the hospital and beat the shit out of the other one pretty effectively. This was after the one pushed me over the other. *shrug*

Finally, in high school, one little shit kept picking on me. About a month in to my Freshman year, I got off the bus after a pretty bad day at school and he fell in behind me, trying to trip me up. I warned him twice, then turned around, grabbed him by his throat, and put him into a cinder-block wall. I may have choked the life out of him were it not for all the people around.

After that, people were able to connect the dots and no one bothered me again. I ran, oddly enough, in all circles in high school - the jocks, the nerds, the stoners (though I didn't do drugs at all), and the debate/speech team kids. I was on chess team, speech team, wrestled for 2 years, then topped it off with academic decathlon, where I was also the coach of our "special topic" for the year, biotechnology. I had friends in band, and knew the folks in chorus from elementary school. People knew where they stood with me (that's still how I run things), I held most people at arm's length and with disdain (still true), and high school was certainly odd. But I'd not say I was necessarily an "outcast" or anything - I knew most of the folks peripherally, and they me, and we were fine with that.

Oh, and no, it didn't cause or impact my DL-ness.
 

Siddy

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Ive been bullied manly because i kept to myself and was a Daydreamer.

In primary school I could be found playing with my matchbox cars talking to no one. So kids come by try taking my cars and push me around. It was like that till about year 6 in school I had to help in the principles office with this very Femmin guy all day. Well someone started a rumor and now i as being made fun of with gay jokes or they pick me up and drag me to girls bathrooms lock me in there saying that where i belong.

In high school, the cars were gone but i still kept to myself but my daydreaming got worse, my teaches say i would sit at my desk and blank out. so after time i had paper books, and fruit tossed at me.

None of this had a hand in my DL but what happend in Primary school might have clicked something that put me in the lifestyle im in now
 

findlay

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i think that while most of us look for reasons into who and what we are....being bullied is apart of growing up...everyone would have been bullied at one stage...everyone. and if the case is that that leads to tb/dl/ab/watever then there would be alot more of us here...i just don't think one can answer with honesty that bullying was a main cause...it can't be
 

OldBaby

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I was bullyed the whole 6yrs of elementary school but I doubt it have had any impact with my ABism as I wanted to be a baby before I went to school.

And I was never bullied by any imparticular reason. One time one bully confessed it was 'cos our principle banned skateboarding on the school yard and I just happened to be a random victim elected among the flock.
 

AbsoluteBedlam

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I was picked on for being smaller than the rest of the guys and all around socially awkward. However, my AB/DL feelings started shortly after potty training so the two are probably only minutely related.

PS: Did anyone else in this thread read the topic in Yoda's voice?
 
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Yep quite alot for different reasons, mostly because they knew I would get upset. I cant really ride bicycles and this was really made them make fun of me. I dunno why but it still affects me to this day. When I see some guys in my age wich reminds me of the bullies I usually get really nervous and scared and they notice it. Now Im in my last year of upper secondary school and some first years even tried to start picking on me. They didnt do that much after I asked them if we had a problem and asked if they wanted to take it outside, not that I would win against them but atleast it made them stop. So I would suggest to the younger members here if you get picked on by people try and stand up for yourself and you might get lucky as me. I suppose it depends on the person also e.g. if some really big muscular guys pick on you I would understand that you dont want to fight them, I wouldnt either!
 
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