Bruised Esopagus

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Okay... seeing as i highly doubt anyone on here knows me personally I'll come out and say it. I've been bulimic for three years. Ever sense November I've been getting really bad heart burn at night. My whole body reacts to it. My joints feel tender, i get feaverish, and naueous.

I went to see a specialist and they said I have a bruised espoagus... It's all my fault. It is starting to make me feel deppressed, It keeps me up at night. It is keeping me up now... i feel like throwing up everywhere... I also can't do spring track. I miss running so much

If it doesnt improve ill need to get an upper GI done which is a little camera attached to a tube in my throat to inspect the damage.

I just feel like total shit and I posted this to vent.

Kkay rantiing over ^^; so.... how is everyone tonight?
 

Mesmerale

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Nah uh, sweetie. It doesn't work like that. You posted it, you get the heat.

1) You idiot. I'm sure you know all this stuff already though, so I'll leave it at that.

2) Esophagus, sweetie.

3) So, do you know what you need to do in order to help it to improve?

4) Fine, thank you for asking.
 
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Every time you vomit you bring up some stomach acids as well which can burn the protective linings in your digestive tract. That's probably/could be why it hurts.
 

dinorider

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Seeing as my older sister went through anorexia/bulimia combined with some other problems for years, I can somewhat see where you're coming from. From my second hand experience of it, it's a pretty damn terrible thing to deal with.

All I can really say to help is that it'll most likely get much better. Returning to the case of my sister, she is now problem free and has a very good life with her own family. Nobody would have suspected she was once forcefully admitted due to her illness when it was especially bad.

So keep trying until you beat it, curiousitykitten. Also, don't be afraid to ask people around you for help. I know that many people find that hard in your situation, but if there's anything that really helps it's love and support.
 

Mysterious

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Well Bulimia seems one of the worst things to do, because the constant vomit can really damage your insides as others have said. The only real thing you can do at this point is will power, good luck.
 

cation

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I know little about it. Just that quitting is a battle best fought with a good support system. Other than that I haven't a clue what you must go through. Get well soon hun.
 

Eulogy

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Well, basically when you vomit, you throw up whatever you've eaten recently, and a large dose of diluted HCl(Hydrogen Chloride, which produces Hydrochloric Acid, which has a PH of about -7 upon oxidation)

Well, as far as feeling better, I'd suggest firstly, stopping the throwing up(Logically) and if you can, eat pure honey ,when you start to get heartburn especially, as it has a coating effect in which will form a protective layer in your throat, and don't worry about it so much, stress causes people to regenerate slower than normal
 
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I know what you feel like as far as the horrible heartburn goes. I have GERD, otherwise known as Gastro-Esophageal Reflux Disease, and it sucks! I'm on a drug called Prevacid, which is an acid reducer, and it works great. I've been on it now for like 13 or 14 years.

The problem with tha acid getting onto your esophagus is that it does eat away at the lining, and it can cause what's called Barretts disease, which is a precursor to cancer, so it's not something to mess around with. I was going through a bottle of Tums every 3 or 4 days before I finally went to see a doctor about it. I had that upper GI est, but I don't remember any of it because thankfully, they knock you out for it.

I hope your condition hasn't gotten that bad, and that you can succeed in kicking that habit. You'll feel much better afterwards both physically and mentally, knowing that you beat it. Good luck to you.
 

Pojo

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Mandy is probably going to freak out if she reads this.

As for this thread goes, you should really stop. I realize that bulimia is like something that can be hard to quit when you stop (doesn't sound like it would be hard to stop), but you really should. Not only can you esophagus get damaged (like it has), but your hair is going to start falling out, your teeth are going to rot away (from the acid), etc. If you do it because you want to be thin, and you feel that you look thinner when you do it, then you need to see a psychologist before you do any more damage. If that's how you see yourself, then I believe you would have an (obvious) eating disorder, which can be helped with a doctor.
 
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And just in case you didn't think everything everyone else mentioned is bad, wait until your teeth disintegrate in a decade or two because all the digestive juices ripping past them tore off all the enamel also.
 
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Nah uh, sweetie. It doesn't work like that. You posted it, you get the heat.

1) You idiot. I'm sure you know all this stuff already though, so I'll leave it at that.
3) So, do you know what you need to do in order to help it to improve
I second #1, above, and would advise professional intervention (thus, #3 is out the window).

It's time for a story from the bunny.

Many moons ago, a friend wanted to start dating. I figured, sure, why not. I knew that she was rail-thin and suspected she had body image issues, but I figured that we could work through it and hopefully lead her to some sort of recovery.

It was three of the worst months I've spent in my life. Right up there with being crippled for a week after a slip-and-fall accident, but at least I was able to pull myself out of bed after a week with that one.

Mandy (seriously, that was her name) had a full-blown eating disorder and only felt "in control" when she was starving herself. She and I were 18-19 at the time, but her permanent teeth hadn't come in yet (she still had baby teeth). Also, she didn't have periods and had all sorts of good fun stuff as a result of throwing up for years on end. Her teeth (from the front) were still good, but she said they hurt from years of acid wear.

Did I mention this was not a happy time?

I ended up figuring out that I was totally and completely unequipped to help her, she wouldn't get counseling, her parents (I think) were waiting for her to go into a coma before taking further action (I'll bet they were beside themselves with worry and upset, but couldn't do anything for her), and she seemed deadlocked in her life.

Not a good time. Indeed, plucking one's eyes out with a dull fork would have been slightly more fun.

Please seek out professional help. Really. Do this for yourself; if this doesn't click with you, then do it because it reminds me of a really low period in my own life and makes me sad.
 

Mesmerale

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I second #1, above, and would advise professional intervention (thus, #3 is out the window).

. . .
What I say won't sound complete until I've said everything. :)

It's how I am. I wait for a response, and try to drag the answer out of them. You're much more likely to listen if you're the one who said it.
 

cation

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She wouldn't get counseling, her parents (I think) were waiting for her to go into a coma before taking further action (I'll bet they were beside themselves with worry and upset, but couldn't do anything for her), and she seemed deadlocked in her life.
Please seek out professional help. Really. Do this for yourself; if this doesn't click with you, then do it because it reminds me of a really low period in my own life and makes me sad.
Sounds like a bear of a habit. I don't envy you.
I would emphasize professional. While you'll undoubtedly get moral support from friends, if there are no professionals involved other than the specialist you went to see about your bruised esophagus I wouldn't bet on the outcome. You need to care about and for yourself. The longer you let it continue the harder and more uncomfortable it will be to cure.
 
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kitty0230

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Dude, you know that throwing up doesn't actually make you any more attractive to guys, you see, us guys love thin girls, but when they are too thin, have no teeth, their breath stinks, and they cant walk it just isn't our idea of "hot". If you have any sense at all you would contact a psychologist, and consider checking into an eating disorder hospital. If you need to talk to someone about it you can pm me, its a difficult battle, and shouldnt be fought alone.

granted people already said all of this, but I put a different spin on it.
 
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1. I don't do this to look thin. I always feel like a monster after I've walked out of the bathroom. I feel completely differant when the urge exists though... but the thought of becoming thin doesnt cross my mind often, it used to...but not anymore. I just hate the phycical feeling of fullness... this is a way ive been using for three years to cope with issues around anxiety. Its difficult to stop. if i dont do this then my mind is doingf as fast a sa juiced hamster on a wheel.

2. I've gone to rehab twice

3. I have a therapist...all she does is nod and say "i know its hard" and "denial is a powerfull thing" when i talk about my habbits....i tend to say im fine a lot

4. Thank you for all the support into these posts ^^ and im happy to report I wqas in bed by Midnight.... i dont feel so hot now ^^ but thats allright.
 

bdb2004

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Just a quick response for now... maybe more later when I actually am awake...
But as far as 3 goes, if you don't feel like the therapist is helping you ask your physician or the therapist to recommend another one, they are there to help you and its important that you find one you feel works well with you.

And just a small thing from an earlier post, the pH of stomach acid is around 1 or 2ish depending on a variety of factors, also this is important because by vomiting up alot of acid (and therefore getting rid of H+ that should be recycled and some other stuff...) you can cause electrolyte imbalances especially hypokalemia (low K+ concentration) and metabolic alkalosis (your blood's pH is too high) neither of those is good and they can become very serious.
 
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Just a quick response for now... maybe more later when I actually am awake...
But as far as 3 goes, if you don't feel like the therapist is helping you ask your physician or the therapist to recommend another one, they are there to help you and its important that you find one you feel works well with you.

And just a small thing from an earlier post, the pH of stomach acid is around 1 or 2ish depending on a variety of factors, also this is important because by vomiting up alot of acid (and therefore getting rid of H+ that should be recycled and some other stuff...) you can cause electrolyte imbalances especially hypokalemia (low K+ concentration) and metabolic alkalosis (your blood's pH is too high) neither of those is good and they can become very serious.
great great ^^ the strange part is ive been trying to correct it... i only throw up about once a WEEK(edit...used to say day)... ive been much much worse. When i was only 13 i used rto skip 2 meals and the one i ate i threw up...then i went to dance class(3 hours)...came home and snacked a bit

i made it to 90 lbs and needed rehab by the end of 7th grade...not fun


ANYWAY ya i dont do it as much... I eat school lunch now (meaning I have three whole meals a day...you can thank my girlfriend for that) I actually had my prilosec and 2 slices of chease guilt free (hopefully it stays that way) and I'm headed off to try to sleep

im doing better but...my body hates me
whats ridiculas is im 16 and my ostioperosis screening didnt get well so i have to go to the hospital AGAIN...like the 3rd appointment set in one month

like....I got better with controling my habbits and my body just got so sick...i dont get it
 

Lil Snap

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I think that there is a point to make here that you didn't get into this condition overnight, and you aren't going to recover from it overnight either. The symptoms and problems you are experiencing now are the carryover of the vomiting for a long period of time. I'm sure you have been told that even 1 episode a week is not healthy after having done it so much more frequently. Some of the injuries are cumulative, meaning that they get a little worse each time you throw up as it re injures and worsens the wounds or imbalances.

Can you accept that there is no normal ordinary circumstance where it is acceptable (or desirable) to induce vomiting? Fighting that urge and being successful is the foundation of building new habits and patterns of behavior, IMHO. H3g3l, if I'm wrong please tell me, because this is a pivotal item I think.

With the help of your friends and family, you can (and really must) defeat these urges so you can grow and thrive as a healthy person. I'm sure you can do it if you have the support and desire.
 
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1. I don't do this to look thin. I always feel like a monster after I've walked out of the bathroom. I feel completely differant when the urge exists though... but the thought of becoming thin doesnt cross my mind often, it used to...but not anymore. I just hate the phycical feeling of fullness... this is a way ive been using for three years to cope with issues around anxiety. Its difficult to stop. if i dont do this then my mind is doingf as fast a sa juiced hamster on a wheel.

2. I've gone to rehab twice

3. I have a therapist...all she does is nod and say "i know its hard" and "denial is a powerfull thing" when i talk about my habbits....i tend to say im fine a lot
Get a new therapist. Someone is paying money to this person and she isn't doing her job. You might try to see if there is a support group nearby to help also.

4. Thank you for all the support into these posts ^^ and im happy to report I wqas in bed by Midnight.... i dont feel so hot now ^^ but thats allright.
I hope you get better soon.
 

cation

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when i talk about my habits....i tend to say im fine a lot
I'm sure I wouldn't want to talk about it with everyone either.

"denial is a powerfull thing"
Does denial include when you say you're fine so much that it becomes internalized?

the strange part is ive been trying to correct it... i only throw up about once a WEEK(edit...used to say day)....
Refer to quote #2 above and include rationalization.
Isn't that dangerous? The once a week thing. Doesn't that fuel a fire you're trying to extinguish? Is it possible you want to keep a few embers glowing or maybe you're afraid to stop? After all this has been with you for three years and you've been treating it like a friend or using it as a tool or were using it as a tool. As I said I don't know specifics. What is it that keeps you from stopping?

ive been much much worse.
Quote #2 and rationalization. If you're still throwing up once a week you're still not well.

I have three whole meals a day...
It must have been difficult to get to the point where you're eating 3 meals a day. Gratz.

im doing better but...my body hates me
You're not really surprised are you? People die from this.

whats ridiculas is im 16 and my ostioperosis screening didnt get well so i have to go to the hospital AGAIN...like the 3rd appointment set in one month
Complications can be with you the rest of your life and the longer you continue doing it, even if it's only once a week, the better chance you have of messing something up perminately if you haven't already.

like....I got better with controling my habits and my body just got so sick...i dont get it
Refer to 2nd quote.

Again I don't envy you. Keep seeing your counselor. I wish you the best. Get well soon.
 
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