Born oreintation?

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I was thinking. All my life, i was raised to be straight. To my parents, gays are bad. Obviously, I know there is nothing wrong with being bi gay straight or whatever. I ((EDIT) thought I) ended up straight and liked girls. But lately, I have been turned on by a few males i know. So i consider my self bi now.

To my question now. Are you born with your sexual orientation or do you develop it later in life. Can it even change?

Thanx all :D
 
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Verscha

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I suppose one's sexuality could be changed via some hardcore Clockwork Orange style mindfucking shit, but for the most part, no. Sexuality can only be repressed or hidden.

It's difficult to say whether or not you're born with your sexuality or if it develops or changes as you grow older. Certainly, there appears to be evidence supporting both arguments. But how can you tell? If you find you're becoming attracted to something you've hitherto never been attracted to, are you in effect witnessing a 'change' in your sexuality, or just noticing a side of your sexuality that's always existed?

At the end of the day, I don't think it really matters whatever the case is. You are who you are. :eek:
 

Jewbacca

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When I first saw this thread, I honestly thought it was about being born head first, feet first, or cesarean first.
But like Verscha said, you're sexual orientation has a lot to do with the environment that surrounds you and how each situation effects you. Also a lot has to do with your parents genes, and whether or not you have any older brothers (read it in a Science News).
 
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I've always felt the issue of homosexuality was to do with environmental factors and personal appeals and that no one is born into it. The search for a gene that predisposes people to be gay seems like a wasted venture to me - although a combination of other genes may help in the case. It's human nature in itself that makes the societal norm heterosexuality, albeit homosexuality (and even bisexuality) being widely practised in the animal kingdom as well. I think we still hold onto the notion that the ability to have sex is for the purpose of breeding, which in our particular species is a strictly heterosexual affair; any deviation from that is considered abnormal.

In order to deviate from heterosexuality, I believe a person has to have the right combination of preferences and life experiences. For the former point, I've known quite a number of people who have given up on the opposite gender simply because they don't find them appealing, sexy, or otherwise "hot" enough to want to be with them. My idea of a relationship should be one both founded on physical love and emotional love. There's no point in being with someone if you don't find them sexually appealing at all, especially if you are both sexually active people. And to some people their preference simply lies within the fact they just find the same sex more attractive. There's no predisposition to homosexuality and just as everyone is unique and wired up differently, should we not expect that there'll always be those certain few who diverge from the norm.

Moving on though, I'm a firm believer that the experiences we have in our lives ultimately shapes who we are as a person, and moulds our beliefs, our preferences, our ambitions and our inhibitions. Through an array of factors, which may or may not be conspicuous at the time, our brain processes those signals, compares then against what it already knows and stores it away for future comparisons. I've heard the story quite a number of times that a boy who was molested by an older male figure at a young age eventually turned out to be homosexual - my guess being that in order to deal with the abuse, his brain processed this encounter as wanting love from an older male figure and provided him with a yearning for wanting to have that love - a defence mechanism in other words. But that's just one example out of countless of possible reasons for being partial to the same sex.

The idea of a homosexual gene, or predisposition to being gay just seems all too... silly to me. Our own nature plus societal norms dictate that we should be heterosexual, it's something we're born into and we don't have any control over that, therefore leading me to feel that homosexuality arises from outside factors that influence how we feel about the opposite sex as well as our personal ideals and preferences. The fact that homosexuality is such a controversial issue in the world today (and has been in the past as well) just shows that it really goes against the grain of what collective notions we hold as a society. There wouldn't be so much contention over homosexuality if it were a natural part of our species, and I'm sure by now if we were able to be predispositioned to it, evolution would have changed our genetics and biochemical make-up in the millions of years it took us to get to the stage we're at now.
 
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In my opinion some people are born gay, some people are influenced by their environment, some people change, some people don't. There is no one answer.
 

Shen

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I don't like to discuss this topic it makes me uneasy, possibly because my knowledge in the area of sexuality amongst children is lacking. Or maybe it's just been a long day. The mind doesn't develop sexually until a late age. So how can you even say people are born gay or straight. Or do you simply mean no situation could possibly change how you are going to turn out. Honestly, It's far to complicated for humans to understand. Sexuality is the hardest part of the brain to comprehend and you should take all matters as they come. As my personal advice. Don't bother classifying yourself as straight or gay or whatever just do whatever feels nice to you.
 
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ade

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To my question now. Are you born with your sexual orientation or do you develop it later in life. Can it even change?
in a matter of context, your's and those who have already replied, you can't say, with any real degree of certainty, which way you intrinsically swing......just a matter of age/development.
a point never, or rarely, discussed is that during adolescence, when you still have leftovers of your childhood, those leftovers are becoming intertwined with newly emerging desires and what was once a boyish idolisation can become distorted into something of a sexual flavour.
whichever way you're going though, you can't expect any definite answers as even the physiology of puberty isn't understood, nevermind the mental and emotional development of it - nor the interactions between them.
confused? that's life. things should begin to settle down by the late twenties/early thirties.......but again, nothing is for sure.
i suppose that last phrase sums it up.
 

Aki

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You know, I think it's just different for the individual. For the longest time I thought I was born straight then turned bi/gay. But looking back, I don't think that's the truth. I think it was just by virtue of luck that I never found a boy I liked. I had crushes on girls, but I never found them really physically attractive. I'm only bisexual because I can be romantically attracted to a girl, but as far as physical? No.

I remember wanting to be a girl from a cartoon for Halloween when I was about six.
I wanted Sakura's phoenix wand from Cardcaptors when I was about eight. My dad said no, that's for girls.

I think it can go either way.

But in the end, does the question really matter? What you are is what you are, no matter how you got there.
 
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Back thousands of years ago when........ I can't remember if it was Aristotle or Archimedes, some brainy type with an A name, noticed gay jackals, it was simply recorded and then life went on.

Even a couple hundred years ago, people didn't really make a big deal of it. If you were gay you were gay, and that was it. Only fairly recently (century or so) has gayness become something to hate and condemn and hide and repress.


I can't help but frown every time I hear of some guy who "Beat gayness with the help of the church" and is now "Happily married" with his wife and 3 daughters. Deep down you know he's thinking of men, but he's managed to put it so far in the back of his mind, he can live the lie and pretend to be 'reformed'.


There's also different levels of gayness too, from straight-acting, to pure queens. Gayness is just something people are born with. I remember an NBC special that even showed a few twins, where one was gay and the other wasn't, and they both had entirely the same upbringing.
 

spacemanBEN

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Ahhh, the great nurture versus nature debate, always a good one. Personally, I think both factors play a part. It's certainly a little simple to say that you are born with a strong, fixed orientation. At the same time, sometimes the only possible excuse seems to be the fact that you were born one way or another.

In my case, I can't think of any specific reasons for why I'm the way I am. For instance, why am I sexually attracted to diapers and being treated like a baby? That is a little atypical. A little odd. And honestly, I have no idea why I turned out this way and I've been attracted to those things for as long as I can remember. I have a great family and have always been raised in a great environment as far as I can tell. Also, why do I seem to have an attraction to males? Again, I can't think of any reasons to explain this. Thus, the default response is, I must have been born this way. Yet, I believe that this is an oversimplification; there has to be a little more to it than just genetics.

Another point to remember is that sexuality can be somewhat flexible for some people, especially females it seems, but also males. For instance, some people can choose their orientation to an extent and also might be able to develop specific fetishes and the like. This supports the nurture side of things. However, the other view would be that choice in sexuality has more to do with repressing certain aspects than on the way you grow up.

To me, there is no straight answer, but it is a very interesting discussion. I guess ultimately it doesn't matter why you are the way you are, you just need to accept it.
 

Puppyluvs

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The Kinsey Scale is another way of looking at sexual orientation.

Kinsey maintained that feelings of heterosexual and homosexual natures were not necessarily mutually exclusive, and that a gradient could be drawn between "straight", "bi" and "gay", rather than seeing them as three completely different orientations. More to the point, Kinsey also believed that some peoples orientation is prone to change over time (which if true would tend to support nurture over nature).

My feeling is that while there may be some genetic factors that help mould people's sexuality (i.e. how you look, and how people react to the way you look could have an effect on your sexuality or gender identity over time), there is almost certainly no "gay gene". Not that I believe that people can necessarily "choose" their sexuality either, I am just skeptical of it being programed on a completely genetic level.

Personally, I also grew up assuming I was straight, and only began to realize that I wasn't when I was about 19. Now I regard myself as gay.

I was fortunate to grow up with very liberal parents, who had a number of gay and lesbian friends, which I'm sure helped me to feel comfortable in admitting my sexuality to myself once it started to "surface".

Since I had never had any sexual experiences with males or females prior to that point, I never saw it as a major shift in my sexuality, but just a gradual assertion of my personality.

*hugs*
 

Ebn14

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ive always felt like my gayness was already built into my brain at a very young age. i came to realize my homosexuality when i was 10, long before i had any interest in sex. my attraction to boys wasnt sexual, it was different and very hard to explain. i know that doesnt really make sense, but thats how it went down.
 

Fire2box

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Kinsey was an idiot for leaving out a segment of the population.
I only really know about the guy from a episode of "Bullshit!". The Pen and Teller program on showtime where they overview different subjects they think are bullshit and offer proof to it.
 

Rosy

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I've always liked the Kinsey scale. I think sexuality is a pretty fluid thing--while you may feel gay or straight or bi at one point in your life, it can easily change over time. I also think that emotional attachments develop between people, not between specific genders. I sometimes find myself thinking of myself as lesbian, and sometimes as being asexual. I can't imagine my sexuality staying as one fixed thing--as we go through our lives, many things about us can change. I think our sexuality is one of those. It's not like height (though that, I've heard, can change too!).
 

dogboy

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In the 50's and 60's, psychiatrists thought that being gay was caused by environment. Typically if you, as a male, had a dominant mother and a recessive father, the chances were greater that you would lean toward homosexuality. I also remember the having two older brothers theory. In the last 10 years, medical scientist have done brain scans to determine that the homosexual brain is different than the heterosexual brain.

I can remember at college that some of the gay students were obviously effeminant and what I would call obviously gay. Then there were others who were called "butch", who were more masculine and who you couldn't tell. So there are physical differences. I also recall that many of the gay students did have far more dominant mothers. But one of my gay friends had a father who was a General in the army, so there were so many exceptions to the rule that it became obvious there were no hard and fast rules.

One can further complicate it by pedophilia, where older males are attracted to younger males. Why and how does that occur? Then, why are some people attracted to an object like diapers rather than people? There's much we don't understand about the human mind. Why does my dog know when I'm almost done with my dinner and will get up and walk to her food dish? She gets up off just as I think "Now I'm going to feed the dog". I've done this as an experiment, and it works. Do we also exist on a psychic level, one of spiritual energy, and does that determine who we are, something preexisting on another plain?

Like others have said, go with the flow, because you will never fully understand. I sure don't, and I've had a lot of time to think about it.
 

Takashi

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I think that you develup it overtime.
 

ShippoFox

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In my opinion some people are born gay, some people are influenced by their environment, some people change, some people don't. There is no one answer.
I pretty much agree with this. Some people might be born gay, but others might "become" gay over time. I just don't think there's a universal explanation to sexual orientation. It's a complex thing.
 
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