Being DL and relationship

Toasters · Nov 27, 2022

Hi all,

I'm curious about the following question - are most ABDLs single or in relationships? Some people on this forum seem to be married, but I am unsure about the number. I personally find most satisfaction in the fetish, but I would like to have a relationship. I have dated occasionally and I have fallen deeply in love before, which was a wonderful feeling - but that lasted only a few months as she had another boyfriend. I am now trying to date again which is opening up confusing feelings of rejection.

My question is then, does fetish block normal arousal patterns? For those of you who are married, does it? Or if you are married as a fetish is it sort of like a gay many marrying a straight woman - it is more challenging to be intimate? For me, it seems like 80-90% of my sexual interest in is in the fetish, and 20-10% is in women. So if/when I am intimate will by fetish over ride my other feelings?

So, I'm trying to predict, if I got married or entered a relationship, what is the likelihood of having lower desire for my partner. Would the fetish feelings override the desire for normal intimacy? I am trying to sort this out in my mind. IF you are married and ABDL, can you comment? I suppose that everyone is different.

Spankedanddiapered · Nov 27, 2022

For me I've been married 33 years. The urge to wear diapers is very powerful. And it took years for my wife to accept and tolerate. The intimacy got better as she became more accepting. The best sex is when we are both getting what we need. So my advice is work overtime to meet your partner's needs. Don't except that it will be reciprocated right away. Patience and realistic expectations is what it will take.

messydiaper · Nov 27, 2022

I am 100% DL since I was about four years old, but that never interfered with my interests in having relations. I am a hetero cis male and happily married.

Toasters · Nov 27, 2022

messydiaper said:
I am 100% DL since I was about four years old, but that never interfered with my interests in having relations. I am a hetero cis male and happily married.

Thanks for the post. I am trying to sort these two things out -- is a lack of relationships due to being DL or due to personality. While difficult to know, do you find that you are equally interested in women versus the fetish? If you look at the Wikipedia definition of a fetish, it will say a true fetish is needed achieve sexual gratification (i.e. fetish versus normal sex). Was that an issue for you?
For me, I have dated a bit and fallen in love once when we were both in early 20s. Given that I fell in love (sounds niave but it was an intense "falling" feeling) -- I know that I can experience that which is a relief and was a wonderful feeling. Since then I have not had a relationship -- trying to sort this out.

warmfeeling · Nov 28, 2022

lampost said:
Hi all,

I'm curious about the following question - are most ABDLs single or in relationships? Some people on this forum seem to be married, but I am unsure about the number. I personally find most satisfaction in the fetish, but I would like to have a relationship. I have dated occasionally and I have fallen deeply in love before, which was a wonderful feeling - but that lasted only a few months as she had another boyfriend. I am now trying to date again which is opening up confusing feelings of rejection.

My question is then, does fetish block normal arousal patterns? For those of you who are married, does it? Or if you are married as a fetish is it sort of like a gay many marrying a straight woman - it is more challenging to be intimate? For me, it seems like 80-90% of my sexual interest in is in the fetish, and 20-10% is in women. So if/when I am intimate will by fetish over ride my other feelings?

So, I'm trying to predict, if I got married or entered a relationship, what is the likelihood of having lower desire for my partner. Would the fetish feelings override the desire for normal intimacy? I am trying to sort this out in my mind. IF you are married and ABDL, can you comment? I suppose that everyone is different.

I’ve been married for 30 years, I love wearing nappies very much, and I love my wife to bits. Although, my wife’s ok with me wearing nappies, she wants nothing to do with it, I keep my wife and our sex life completely apart, I do wear nappies in front of her, she is fine with this, I just respect her and wouldn’t want anything to come between us. I couldn’t ask for any more really, I’m not into AB, it’s just nappies for me 😁👍🏻

Hemix · Nov 28, 2022

Imagine thou discoverest thou lovest roast chicken. Thou artn't going to stop liking other kind of foods and thou wilt continue eating regardless, thou'lt just have more variety to choose from.

Take into consideration that, if thou dostn't have sexual desire for thine hypothetical couple, temporarily or permanently, it will happen either if thou wearest diapers or not.

In that case, it's not the diapers fault, they're just an option and, at best, a good one that can give thee pleasure and independence if thou needst it.

Forced · Nov 28, 2022

Lifelong DL and for me, women and nappies are two separate desires.
I’ve had partners (inc current GF) take part as caregivers but that has never stopped me from having adult urges for them.

Toasters · Nov 28, 2022

Thanks for the comments -- this is interesting. My question is does the fetish get in the way of intimacy with your partner? So if you are romantically engaged with your partner, do you have to think of the fetish or not really? Thanks for all the comments and posts!

NappyCouple1980 · Nov 28, 2022

I am a DL and my GF is ABDL

littlemoosey · Nov 28, 2022

Not an issue. Married 29 + years together 35

messydiaper · Nov 28, 2022

Do I think of the fetish? Sometimes, but I also think about a lot of other kinky stuff and then sometimes it's just an in the moment physical thing and I'm not really thinking about anything.

warmfeeling · Nov 29, 2022

Toasters said:
Thanks for the comments -- this is interesting. My question is does the fetish get in the way of intimacy with your partner? So if you are romantically engaged with your partner, do you have to think of the fetish or not really? Thanks for all the comments and posts!

Not an issue, I love my wife very much, I love nappies very much too, but we keep both apart.

Toasters · Nov 29, 2022

Great, thanks all - does anyone have any further thoughts?

Outdoorlife · Nov 29, 2022

Been married a year and the wife kind of knows but is not interested. I find they days I dream about diapers are the days I come home and share my drive with her and she loves it. While it’s not in a diaper I know that I married her because she truly compliments my life so well. And while I am sexually aroused in diapers, I didn’t marry them. Also my sex drive has not slowed down for either but if I had to choose one, it would be the one who loves me back. Hopefully that helps a little.

The only bummer is I don’t get to be padded as much as I want. Maybe that makes it more fun when I finally do get to partake.