Been a while

MakABDL

Est. Contributor
Messages
590
Age
27
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
It's been a HOT minute since i've done a long post.

I've cleaned up my room, got new furniture in it...well to be honest I just replaced my bed and dresser even though right now I'm still working out of laundry baskets cuz Ya Boi got too much clothes he don't wanna get rid of.

I now have a loft bed where the under part of my bed is an empty space I've turned into a reading nook putting a Northshore changing pad underneath to use as a floor mat so I'm not just sitting on an ancient crumby rug (I honestly would have KILLED for this kinda bed as a kid to be honest like Damn Peak play area there) I use it to Read, Color, doing my Japanese lesson books, sometimes even sit under there with the switch. I even use it to diaper up to lay on a flat surface instead of my bed.

Imposter Factory which is Kan's third installment to the To The Moon series came out and once again just like Finding Paradise I find myself at odds with my thoughts. The song Great Wide Unknown being a song I listen to a lot now


As so above so people can listen that's a Live version the music artist did not long ago and it's Fucking Beautiful. I mean Pealeaf is no Laura Shigihara but the music is beautiful all the same.

It's honestly a song that makes me think "Maybe I should learn piano." Then I remember I'm trying to learn so much as it is and I should stop overwhelming myself.

I find myself straying away from the site every now and then mostly because I forget about it? If that makes sense, I don't check it as often as I probably should but I don't see Direct replies to me I don't feel a need to really be that active.

I notice a lot of times I get this sentimental feeling I tend to drone on in such a long post, like for instance on Facebook after Imposter Factory came out and I spent an immaculate time at work thinking up this long post about the phrase "You are here." going On and on about my beliefs of Free will that we're all supposed to make our own destiny and sail our own ship. All while I was under the influence of the music Kan Gao made for these wonderful games he made to tell his stories the way he wanted them told. They're unforgettable memories to me, it's hard to imagine where I'd be if I never came across them.

I've pretty much killed any hope of Depression in my mind because I have it in my mind that the way I live now, I've no right to be sad about anything in my life. I've felt strangely at peace and if this Long story is anything it's like Lynri's words "I want to be a star that would light up the lavender fields so others could see them."

There are many phrases Kan has made that I actually genuinely live by. "In our lives, we get stuck on things that feel so important at the time, only to look back at them at the end of our lives and realize just how silly they were." Telling me that I will run into many problems in my life, but they're nothing to lose my head over because eventually I'll have found a way to deal with them. or "It's like those lights in the sky....They all look the same from here, but that doesn't make them any less pretty" as said by a very young River...telling me that just because you're not technically anything special, it doesn't mean you're nothing. You don't have to Stand out and be loud about your life for the validation of others.

We s[pend so much time on what others think of us that we don't stop to think of how we see ourselves in our reflections. We only see the words of others that we get so blinded that we can't see truths that lay behind judgmental words.


So take your time, stop and smell the flowers, you're not going to get trapped there. It's up to you to come to terms with the way you live your life and what you can do to better your future. Take your time, there's no rush.
 
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