Advice from my origin thread from 2019:
I thought I would add a bit more here on wearing at night since it is a topic that comes up. For me, as for quite a few on ADISC, I did not wish to un-train myself or become a full time bed wetter but would quite happily be a genuine bed wetter when wearing a nappy.
Happily, I now wake with a wet nappy nearly every time I wear one to bed, with no memory of having wet myself on purpose in the night.
I would like to reassure you that it can be done without causing any physical or psychological injury to yourself!
It’s a multi-step thing that took me a few years to achieve. When it happened for the first time I couldn’t believe it.
I would always go to bed in a dry nappy.
Some days I would wake up dry, have a morning wee in my nappy and then take it off when I got up.
Most nights I would wake in the night needing a wee. I would let go into my nappy and go back to sleep. My usual night nappy was (and is for the moment) an Abena L4.
One morning I woke up and felt like I was wet but had no memory of waking in the night. I did not have my morning wee but got up and took the nappy off first to check. It was definitely wet. I was so excited that this had happened and felt all tingly.
I wore again the next night with no special preparation of any kind but it didn’t happen.
But then it started to happen more frequently.
I believe I have now trained my brain to realise that it’s OK to wet in my sleep but only when I have a nappy on.
I didn’t think it was possible, but (looking back) here’s how it happened:
First, you have to be comfortable with wetting yourself in a nappy whilst awake sitting or standing. The best way to achieve this is not to hold everything in until the last minute when wearing before bursting to simulate a gushing wee accident (flooding) as this actually trains your bladder muscles to hold on tighter. Just relax and let it go when you have one on.
Next, you don’t need to drink gallons of water at a time as this can make your stomach uncomfortable. Rather, just keep pleasantly well hydrated. Drink sips little and often and always just let go when your bladder first feels the need. At the very beginning you may need to stand in the bathroom to be able to do this but will soon be comfortable doing it anywhere.
When you are so comfortable in just “letting go” in a nappy sitting or standing, you can try lying down.
Again, contrary to what I thought at first, the best way to get going is not to drink lots of water and lie down holding it til you are bursting. That just causes pain and discomfort.
Do keep well hydrated, but just relax and try to let go rather than pushing. Sometimes lying in silence helps. Sometimes a particular sound or piece of music may help. If it doesn’t work at first, you may have to stand or sit up, wee, and lie down again.
Part of the issue is trusting the nappy not to leak. I found that putting a bed pad underneath helped as it stopped my brain from worrying about leaks subconsciously.
When wearing to bed, adopt the same tactic. Don’t go to bed on a full bladder or holding in the hope that you will wet yourself. You will just be uncomfortable. If you need a wee at ANY point, just let go, even if it is only a little bit. If you hold it it will reinforce the notion that you shouldn’t be letting go.
Whether you need to wee before going to sleep or wake up needing one, just let go when the feeling takes you.
One morning you may wake up to find that you have had a little accident for real.
Don’t expect results overnight, but I hope that the above helps anyone who would like to have the experience of waking in a wet nappy without becoming fully incontinent or waking in the night to wee.
It has one side effect- the best night’s sleep ever while staying well hydrated.
Update 2023: I wear and wet nearly every night now, but occasionally don’t wear just to make sure I haven’t become a real bedwetter