- Diaper Lover
I have always had a rough time with learning from a young age and it seems like things are getting harder as life goes on. Ive been talking to my psychiatrist about everything as much as i can when i can about the various issues i face and have been told that i may be somewhere on the autism spectrum although i am highly functioning and it is often difficult to even figure out why i am struggling much more how to go about solving some of my problems. I feel like i often cant demonstrate just how my attention suffers since i have learned many ways of coping with it that may be masking it. I kinda feel sometimes like i kinda got screwed in that i never got a good solid diagnosis from an early age with whatever im struggling with since i live in a tiny town with little resources and my parents who really do love me but maybe have somewhat sheltered me in a way by not seeing my quirks as potential issues if that makes sense. just typing this and trying to figure out what im trying to say is taking forever. I have an old vhs tape of recordings from im guessing when i was 6 months old to about 18 months old. I watched it a few months ago and just got done watching it again tonight. one thing that is obvious to me is just how poorly i notice what goes on around me. my parents will repetitively call my name and make noises to get my attention and i just keep on doing whatever it is that im doing. any of the other babies on the tape at various points are very aware and often showing different emotions like smiling or crying and i just am off in my own little world, crying once throughout the tape and smiling a handful of times the rest of the time i just play with different random things ignoring everyone around me for the most part. I kinda wonder if this tape may be helpful in diagnosing any attention or learning issues i may have. would there be someone to watch this and do a diagnosis or is it too late for such a thing? has anyone even heard of such a thing? how hard would a doctor laugh at me lugging my old VCR into their office?(oh wait thats not a good question :biggrin: ).