caitianx
Est. Contributor
- Messages
- 6,798
- Age
- 66
- Role
- Adult Baby
- Diaper Lover
- Babyfur
- Sissy
- Little
- Incontinent
As always I am in "Night Owl Mode".
Being a 24/7 adult diaper wearer, it seems inconsistent that at times I will mutely sit on my medical adult potty chair for periods of time, diaperless, and letting the pee-pee uncontrollably come out of my body into a big plastic pail.
I sit and sit and sit.
I clutch Howard Hug, my teddy bear.
I look down.
Seeing where the pee-pee comes from my body emotionally feels strange.
Sometimes while mutely sitting on my medical adult potty chair I gently touch where pee-pee comes from on my body.
The physical sensations are icky and they confuse me as a person with Autism.
Decades ago my mentally deranged Mommy made me think only the single thought:
"I am locked away in a Mental Hospital."
Over and over again in my mind.
If I needed to touch myself there.
She yelled at me and beat me as a teenager to make me never think of anything else in my mind whenever I tried to touch myself to alleviate the feelings from my body physically changing.
Mommy also did not allow me privacy whenever the "dirty thoughts and feelings" entered my mind and I needed to alleviate these pent-up feelings.
I was never allowed to close my bedroom door for privacy from the age of 10 years old to age 28, until some psychiatrist put the fear of almighty God to make Mommy allow me to close my bedroom door to have privacy.
My deranged Mommy never acknowledged or respected my even having any personal boundry space whatsoever.
Anyway, I need to put my diaper on and get ready for bed.
Being a 24/7 adult diaper wearer, it seems inconsistent that at times I will mutely sit on my medical adult potty chair for periods of time, diaperless, and letting the pee-pee uncontrollably come out of my body into a big plastic pail.
I sit and sit and sit.
I clutch Howard Hug, my teddy bear.
I look down.
Seeing where the pee-pee comes from my body emotionally feels strange.
Sometimes while mutely sitting on my medical adult potty chair I gently touch where pee-pee comes from on my body.
The physical sensations are icky and they confuse me as a person with Autism.
Decades ago my mentally deranged Mommy made me think only the single thought:
"I am locked away in a Mental Hospital."
Over and over again in my mind.
If I needed to touch myself there.
She yelled at me and beat me as a teenager to make me never think of anything else in my mind whenever I tried to touch myself to alleviate the feelings from my body physically changing.
Mommy also did not allow me privacy whenever the "dirty thoughts and feelings" entered my mind and I needed to alleviate these pent-up feelings.
I was never allowed to close my bedroom door for privacy from the age of 10 years old to age 28, until some psychiatrist put the fear of almighty God to make Mommy allow me to close my bedroom door to have privacy.
My deranged Mommy never acknowledged or respected my even having any personal boundry space whatsoever.
Anyway, I need to put my diaper on and get ready for bed.