Corri
Est. Contributor
- Messages
- 1,145
- Role
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- Diaper Lover
- Babyfur
- Incontinent
- Carer
Time for ADISC to Judge the entries. As expected a good number of them are AB/DL related. None the less,
all except the entrants may post (that includes me) ,
all entries are anonymous.
You are to judge on what ever you feel is most important about the piece. Since, we have one literary work and three graphic you will judge all on general composition and basic critiques.
The piece with the most positive reviews wins.
(LuvsGirl, and dannytheninja were disqualified for breaking anonymity by submitting publicly.)
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Danny thought and jumped at the same time. He was jumping on his old trampoline. It was a warm summer evening, the sun was setting. To the east it was already growing dark. That was the way he was facing; away from his house and across his backyard. All the recognisable scents of summer were there: freshly mowed lawns, gasoline, and fresh air. All of it commingling and assaulting his nose.
Up and down he went, barley registering the feel of the canvas beneath his bare feet, or the squeaks of the rusty springs every time he landed. It was an old trampoline. He had got it as a gift when he was seven. It was bought used, so even then it was old. Still, he loved it as a kid, and cherished it as he got older.
That all seemed a world away now. He didn’t have very many fond memories from his childhood, and even fewer from the present. He was thinking about what he had going for him at the moment. Some people in the house behind him who hated his guts. A few good friends, not the ones you’d want to backpack around Europe with, but maybe the type you’d want to hang out with every weekend. Maybe drink a few beers.
For most of his life he had wandered through it lost deep in thought. He was always thinking. He realised he had never been, at one time or another in his life, truly happy. He wasn’t depressed either, though. Merely satisfied and contempt with what he had. What did he have ahead of him, after the summer was over? College, probably. But he always had this feeling, this deep instinct, that something out there beyond his property line (maybe even the city limits or the country’s boarders) was waiting to be discovered. Something great that would complete his life and keep him fulfilled. Things got better on the other side, didn’t they?
Danny thought and jumped at the same time. He was thinking about his life, as he had been doing a lot recently. He started jumping higher and higher, pushing his legs off the black canvas of the trampoline with more and more momentum. He faced east, away from his house. Away from his troublesome childhood. Away from the past and present. And into tomorrow.
Instead, he looked to tomorrow.
***
“Danny! Danny! Where is that kid?”
“I saw him outside a few minutes ago. He was jumping on the trampoline.”
“I need to talk to him.”
“Don’t know where he went.”
“Kid’s got problems.”
Not anymore he didn’t.
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all except the entrants may post (that includes me) ,
all entries are anonymous.
You are to judge on what ever you feel is most important about the piece. Since, we have one literary work and three graphic you will judge all on general composition and basic critiques.
The piece with the most positive reviews wins.
(LuvsGirl, and dannytheninja were disqualified for breaking anonymity by submitting publicly.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Danny thought and jumped at the same time. He was jumping on his old trampoline. It was a warm summer evening, the sun was setting. To the east it was already growing dark. That was the way he was facing; away from his house and across his backyard. All the recognisable scents of summer were there: freshly mowed lawns, gasoline, and fresh air. All of it commingling and assaulting his nose.
Up and down he went, barley registering the feel of the canvas beneath his bare feet, or the squeaks of the rusty springs every time he landed. It was an old trampoline. He had got it as a gift when he was seven. It was bought used, so even then it was old. Still, he loved it as a kid, and cherished it as he got older.
That all seemed a world away now. He didn’t have very many fond memories from his childhood, and even fewer from the present. He was thinking about what he had going for him at the moment. Some people in the house behind him who hated his guts. A few good friends, not the ones you’d want to backpack around Europe with, but maybe the type you’d want to hang out with every weekend. Maybe drink a few beers.
For most of his life he had wandered through it lost deep in thought. He was always thinking. He realised he had never been, at one time or another in his life, truly happy. He wasn’t depressed either, though. Merely satisfied and contempt with what he had. What did he have ahead of him, after the summer was over? College, probably. But he always had this feeling, this deep instinct, that something out there beyond his property line (maybe even the city limits or the country’s boarders) was waiting to be discovered. Something great that would complete his life and keep him fulfilled. Things got better on the other side, didn’t they?
Danny thought and jumped at the same time. He was thinking about his life, as he had been doing a lot recently. He started jumping higher and higher, pushing his legs off the black canvas of the trampoline with more and more momentum. He faced east, away from his house. Away from his troublesome childhood. Away from the past and present. And into tomorrow.
Instead, he looked to tomorrow.
***
“Danny! Danny! Where is that kid?”
“I saw him outside a few minutes ago. He was jumping on the trampoline.”
“I need to talk to him.”
“Don’t know where he went.”
“Kid’s got problems.”
Not anymore he didn’t.
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Kind of like one was added to recertify the mistake of having only seven. 