Embarrassed ... Only if I get noticed or have a leak or hame a bm around people more like frustrated.. anxious maybe but as time goes on I'm getting used to it . Had issues with incontinence off and on for most my life, but I knew when I was going to have trouble..I passed kidney stones frequently like every 3 to 6 months and I had constant urinary infections and kidney infections and once in a while I'd get really bad stomach cramps and diarrhea. But it was simple I could feel all these thing coming and knew when they occurred diaper up. As I got older things became more frequent and lasted longer and became more painful
after my last lithotripsy over a year and a half ago something changed and my pain level went sky high and I have been completely incontinent since. And to top that off my IBS has been awful.
I'm on 19 prescriptions and I swear something I'm taking or a mix of things I'm taking have decreased the pain levels to a moderate lvl but now I almost get no notice from my body for 1or2 my bladder just kinda has a really light spasm and drain's ever 10 to 40 minutes if I try to stop it not only is it very painful but I fail anyways. Same with bowel control don't feel much of anything little cramps and boom I feel it in my diaper my IBS is still very painful and I've learned to just let it happen and gently push as it makes it less painful and hurt for a way shorter time. But this has led to some embarrassing situations but it is what it is ... I don't really care anymore I'm not going to try and hold it and be in pain... don't care who is around .....I'm sick of the pain and it was so bad at one point I was seriously planning to off myself as I couldn't cope ..... Luckily I finnally found a Dr that really listen and I am finally getting some answers unfortunately I have also found there is way more at play than I would of ever imagined and some of it is really bad .....as in life threatening but that's how the cookie crumbles after what I've been through I'm not easily embarrassed anymore