Hi, been awhile since I posted, I took a 2 year break after I finally found the real cause of my diaper/AB addiction, I had denied childhood trauma and when I finally accepted it diapers no longer had there draw for me. But like most binge purge cycles I had small desires here and there, till I finally broke down on the anniversary of a day I had a TBI that changed my life. I finally gave in a week ago and have been diapered 24/7 pretty much since last Thursday. Weird things I've noticed, I haven't slept well in like well 2 years, not Im going to bed at a more decent time, and Im waking up in the morning, (Im watching cartoons all day or morning and looking at many adult baby or little videos on youtube. I was diagnosed with CPTSD, I see a therapist that had encouraged me to embrace the "self care" of diapering, during my abstinence.
I see my therapist again for the first time since my "little" side returned, on Monday I think. I have thought about going 24/7 again, I have in the past, Im retired due to injury, still fighting for disability.
I just wanted to share as therapy really helped me, I liked discovering why I like diapers, after so many years, the reason made me sad, but now I am more accepting of who I am, I think. My therapist does hypnoses therapy and past life regression, I've thought about asking her to put me under and give me the suggestion to enjoy my little side more when I am diapered at home and safe. I kinda just want a hug and to cry and have someone tell me its all gonna me ok.
I've made up new excuse for wearing diapers like its safer than using a public restroom due to covid and the fecal spray of toilets being flushed, (seriously), I have had a few close calls trying to hold my bladder. Thankfully my bowels are very regular and I almost never have to poop after my morning movement. I have no problems with using a diaper for its intended purpose, even the gross stuff.
For a while I was a bedwetter after my injury, and would pee in my sleep and wore diapers for 6 years after my injury, every single night, and I needed too, it took some training to regain nighttime control, which I feel like giving up on now. I feel like maybe I just need to wear diapers for the rest of my life, I wish I was fully incontinent, although I know that fantasy is also a nightmare, it just gives some peace to me when I feel like a freak in a diaper, having a legitimate need is more understandable.
Many of my friends know I wear diapers, they think I need them at night.
A lot has changed since I first got into this, I am 43, been into this since I was potty trained to be honest, it was my first real coping mechanism. Ive seen diapers go from ugly green thin devices to full on adult baby diapers with prints and its so crazy these days, there are youtube channels with diapered littles and adults, its almost like we are becoming an accepted community, I still see lots of cringe factor on bigger productions and stuff like the news.
Guess I am feeling lonely today and felt like reaching out, need to go do some adult crap now, hope you are all well and happy babies, or big kids.
