Anyone Else Encountered This?

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A little while back, I was sent a message by someone living relatively close by explaining that he was a 19 year old AB who need a "mentor." I chose not to respond. I don't trust people's ages online, and regardless, I wasn't going to "mentor" anyone. Yet I felt bad for him. Clearly he was lost with his feelings.

Anyone ever been asked to be a mentor or asked someone else? What did you do?
 

Ryan_d

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I send people messages like that..... But not the mentoring part, just saying I live nearby and am bored...

I'm sure some of them peg me as a freak but I don't care, I have met at least one good friend that way.
 

Grutzvalt

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I send people messages like that..... But not the mentoring part, just saying I live nearby and am bored...

I'm sure some of them peg me as a freak but I don't care, I have met at least one good friend that way.

*cough* Yes you have :)
 

Trevor

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I haven't received one of those, but it would definitely creep me out. Now if someone just wants to talk and see if there's a basis for a friendship, that's fine and dandy. I just don't like it when someone seems to have preconceived notions about the relationship before we've even talked. I don't want someone who's figuratively looking at their watch while we're talking and wondering why the relationship isn't progressing as quickly as it should toward their personally determined destination.
 
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I didn't mean to imply that I find the use of the internet as a tool for meeting to people to be creepy. I do that as well. But it was opening the conversation with a plea for me to teach the how to be an AB, if such a thing is possible, that I found disconcerting. It seemed along the lines of an "are you wet" kind of message. This person needed someone to talk to, but his understanding of what that talk was a kind creeper.
 

Charlie

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Where did you get the message?
Some sites have weird people on them... Like aby.com... my profile there claims to be under a metre tall, and says I have blue hair, and weigh 624lbs. Yet I still have a few messages. I listed one of my hobbies as "jogging" (I typed random words, "fire" was another one :p) and already have had requests for going jogging diapered!!

So depending on the site, I'd ignore it...
 
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It was MySpace. I never responded, but there were follow-up mssgs sent. Ignored those too.
 

Peachy

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MySpace is probably 95% liars, so ignore it.

Personally, I don't mind that type of messages, provided they have a reason. A simple "I live near you" isn't good enough - I could probably figure that out simply by looking at someone's profile information. So there's gotta be more to it than that, and more than a "let's meet and diaper each other"-suggestion!

Peachy
 

fifigal

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Be afraid, very afraid. You did the right thing, just ignore the messages.
 

timmywimmy

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It's difficult, though, isn't it? People who've found themselves with these strange desires tend to need a little reassuring (or let's face it, a lot!). On the other hand it would be pretty sad if ADISC turned into an AB/DL singles bar ... it would be useful to have a form of words indicating to such pushy types that ADISC is about support; that if friendships naturally grow out of online chat that's a different matter; take your time and get acquainted.

I think it wouldn't hurt to have a kindly worded outline somewhere - on a forum sticky maybe - about what is and isn't appropriate here. Maybe there is already! I haven't explored every nook and cranny ...
 

Mesmerale

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Yeah, it was kind of creepy to get that message, I'm sure.

But I don't think ignoring him was the right thing. I'm not saying you should meet him, but if he's getting the sense that "talking" with people about AB stuff is like what you guys are describing, then someone needs to actually talk to him and set him straight. Why can't it be you?

I mean, when I first got into TBDL stuff, I felt really lost. Hell, I still feel lost. At this moment, I'm feeling as if I'm about to lose someone who I thought/think was/is a really good friend of mine, and a really good babysitter. I'm well into the TBDL scene, and I'm well into this community, but I still feel like crap right now.

Imagining how he must feel without all this good stuff...
 

mizzycub

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I think Mes has a really good point, perhaps you could become a mentor to him, but not in the way he is thinking. If it hasn't been so long since he contacted you I would send him an email with the following points.

  • You would not wish to meet him, but explain why. Go over the fact you don't know him well enough and you want to be safe on the internet.
  • Nextly, try to explain to him, in kind words, why you found his getting in contact with you creepy. You don't want to be insulting, but it needs to show why you aren't willing to meet him in more detail.
  • Then you go on to showing how some ABDLs obviously aren't telling the truth if you look at it seriously. Make him realise that the fantasies etc are just that. This leads into...
  • Explain you views; how you want to be an adult first and have the baby stuff seperate, you want to have more than 1 dimension etc. (or whatever it is for you)
  • Reiterate your points and say you hope they were helpful.

If he is genuine you might really help him not to become one of those diaper obsessed types that we feel give us a bad name. It'll probably help him operate better with this in the real world and make him go about this in a more mature and responsible manner.

If he isn't genuine, nothing lost, and he will hopefully realise there is no more point talking to you.


Well, that is what I would do at any rate.
 

dogboy

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I didn't mean to imply that I find the use of the internet as a tool for meeting to people to be creepy. I do that as well. But it was opening the conversation with a plea for me to teach the how to be an AB, if such a thing is possible, that I found disconcerting. It seemed along the lines of an "are you wet" kind of message. This person needed someone to talk to, but his understanding of what that talk was a kind creeper.

You were smart to ignore it as it was a sexual come on. It's a variation of one of the oldest lines in the book. When I was young and desirable, guys would pull up along side me in their car and ask for directions. This would be while I was walking. They wanted me to get into their car and show them how to get to some lame obvious place. I'd just laugh. It's like who doesn't know how to pee a diaper and act like a baby! The post didn't deserve a reply.
 
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