Any trans people just want to be themselves and just fade into the background?

[KittyninjaW]

I am asked this because I just want to be trans and fade into the background, but it feels like everyone who I have seen who is trans wants to fight for civil rights. Me personally, I just want to just be in the background and be me and not worry about that stuff. Am I the only one who feels that way?

 

[BabyHailey1977]

Yes!!! I know that if and when I decide to transition I will get a lot of stares, head shakes and nasty comments. I just want to be an everyday woman who goes on unnoticed.

 

[KittyninjaW]

Yes!!! I know that if and when I decide to transition I will get a lot of stares, head shakes and nasty comments. I just want to be an everyday woman who goes on unnoticed.

Yes, this!

 

[Anemone]

I think most people want to not have to worry about their human rights being respected.

That is what people feel the need to advocate for. No one wants powerful interests to be engaged in stripping vulnerable groups of safety and dignity but acquiescence is not a solution.

 

[littledinogoesrawr]

I think is a human right to live without worries and be respected no matter what.

Of course you want and deserve to be unoticed like I am, and pretty much everybody is, actually is quite sad cause you are not asking for too much.

 

[Shilohsaurus]

Pretty sure that's what we all want as trans people.

But as long as this culture war against us exists, I'm fighting like hell.

 

[LaLoneDigi]

This is something bigots don't seem to understand. They always claim trans people are shoving stuff down their throats (they are obsessed with this analogy for some reason), but really most trans people just want to quietly live their lives. They DON'T WANT to interact with assholes in a bid to justify existing- They HAVE TO.

Most of my trans friends don't put themselves out there. They donate money in the right places, and are more than willing to have discussions if people have questions, but really they just want to live their lives and be left alone. They are beaten, tired, and scared. I hate it so much.

I'm not trans, but I fight because trans rights are human rights. I will always fight on behalf of human rights. 💪

 

[SheenaLuvs]

I'm a 6'3" transwoman who would love nothing more than to just blend in.... but I don't, I'm too tall, so I just own it instead. No one cares, no one says anything and I'm treated like the woman I am. Also, I avoid politics like the plague. Everyone assumes I'm a lefty, but I'm not. I'm centered and happy that way!

 

[SheenaLuvs]

Yes!!! I know that if and when I decide to transition I will get a lot of stares, head shakes and nasty comments.

That's what I thought before transitioned....
Once i transitioned I realized it was all in my head

 

[AnalogRTO]

This is something bigots don't seem to understand. They always claim trans people are shoving stuff down their throats (they are obsessed with this analogy for some reason), but really most trans people just want to quietly live their lives. They DON'T WANT to interact with assholes in a bid to justify existing- They HAVE TO.

Most of my trans friends don't put themselves out there. They donate money in the right places, and are more than willing to have discussions if people have questions, but really they just want to live their lives and be left alone. They are beaten, tired, and scared. I hate it so much.

I'm not trans, but I fight because trans rights are human rights. I will always fight on behalf of human rights. 💪

The whole act bigots have is coming from the politicians trying to score political points as well. I don't know how many times I have seen them throw around "groomer" or "pedophile" in their descriptions. If they were truly worried about somebody being one of those two things, they would be shutting down major religions instead of going after trans people!

I'm not trans. I have children who are non-binary and trans, I have friends who are trans, gay, bi, whatever, I don't care, they're good people! That's all that matters to me. While not actively out protesting, I do try to stop the idiotic rhetoric when it comes up. A trans person assaulting someone when they get let in a bathroom different than what they were listed as on their birth certificate? Yeah, that maybe happened once or twice in our country last year, more women were raped walking down the wrong street yesterday. Trying to convince kids to be something other than the gender on that same piece of paper? No, they're not.

It's just like the arguments with Roe v. Wade, it's never that we want to hurt people, we just want to protect those who can't protect themselves. OK, without Roe w. Wade my stepmother might be dead from ectopic pregnancies. "Oh, those are OK for an abortion to be done because it will kill the mother otherwise..." Except that doctors are waiting to perform those abortions until later on because they are worried that doing it too early will get them prosecuted since the mother's life wasn't in danger YET.

 

[PinkyJujubean]

The reason we have to fight for our rights is because some people won't allow us to blend in. It's our time to finally claim our place and fading into the background isn't an option.

 

[Edgewater]

This could be a nightmare or may just fit someplace in the center.

I am a 24/7, U-IC and have been that way for near 5 decades, and I am what seems to be called here; a vanilla - whatever that is.

But, I am very late to understanding Trans and all of its 'pronouns' or whatever that is.

From the far outside, the discord regarding Trans, seem to be the fight with the long hard work that Women have worked hard to achieve in areas that males and females should not complete. My granddaughter was a track runner and good at it. But, she had to step away because she found herself competing again males. Connect that with confirmed efforts to introduce sex "Take Care a Hot Button Word Is About To Be Used" to children and that sets off Fires. As a result dialog dies and walls are set tall and strong.

But that fight is not where the vast majority of you are! From what I have learned here, the vast majority of you want what everyone else wants, to simply be yourself and flow in and with everyone else. As a big shock, that is were a majority of us vanilla's are.

Long ago, I found that wearing diapers 24/7 was accepted as I traveled nationally and internationally and it was near always a question from employers, clients, etc. There are many Threads as part of ADISC in which individuals want to wear diapers when out and about and seem to be surprised when they do just how little they are notice and without comment. Some will point to staged (with camera crew) occurrences and the question is asked and the statement made, it's legal, so it should not be a problem. Well, that is where even this community has a split as social dress norms do play into the discussion.

If you're Trans and want to dress in your chosen Female or Male self, please do. And, as long as you do not push social dress norms, you will be fine. Trans and crossdressers have been out there for a longtime without issue.

 

[KittyninjaW]

I don't know how many times I have seen them throw around "groomer" or "pedophile" in their descriptions. If they were truly worried about somebody being one of those two things, they would be shutting down major religions instead of going after trans people!

I am torn on this one, one part of me just want people to get along because I am religious. Another part of me wants to agree with you because not everyone who is religious is a bad person.

I'm not trans. I have children who are non-binary and trans, I have friends who are trans, gay, bi, whatever, I don't care, they're good people! That's all that matters to me. While not actively out protesting, I do try to stop the idiotic rhetoric when it comes up. A trans person assaulting someone when they get let in a bathroom different than what they were listed as on their birth certificate? Yeah, that maybe happened once or twice in our country last year, more women were raped walking down the wrong street yesterday. Trying to convince kids to be something other than the gender on that same piece of paper? No, they're not.

As I said, I am religious myself and I try to be a nice person to everyone. And I do think that you do have a fair point there but it isn't easy to deal with people who won't listen. Also, there are good and bad in every group. Pointing out the bad things just doesn't excuse the good things and visa-virsa.

 

[todderhr]

I'm a 6'3" transwoman who would love nothing more than to just blend in.... but I don't, I'm too tall, so I just own it instead. No one cares, no one says anything and I'm treated like the woman I am. Also, I avoid politics like the plague. Everyone assumes I'm a lefty, but I'm not. I'm centered and happy that way!

I want to transition. Your post is helpful.

 

[blaincorrous]

Most famously misquoted by Dale Carnegie to illustrate how NOT to deal with people are these lines from Samuel Butler’s 17th century poem, Hudibras:

He that complies against his will
Is of his own opinion still
Which he may adhere to, yet disown,
For reasons to himself best known

At best, an opinion changed with hostility is ineffective or temporary. Force yourself upon a person you know is not ready to see you in full resplendent regalia, and they will not see the real you. They will feel pressured, not persuaded. And they will be driven back to the places they forged their bigotry to harden it more.

This is why people rarely change their minds from arguments, and it’s not a hard leap to say that being forced to experience a lifestyle they aren’t familiar with and receiving the message hey should just get over it and get with the times… results in abject obstruction and violence.

EDIT: and I want to be clear, in case it’s not… it’s not your job to moderate your image for the masses. And it’s their responsibility to not be violent with people they disagree with. I’m presenting the above for anyone who thinks being as out and loud as possible is moving anything toward greater acceptance. I’m happy to be an ally and help build bridges so we can all understand one another. But I’d like to actually see something that makes a difference, not something that causes people to dig in deeper.

 

[AnalogRTO]

I am torn on this one, one part of me just want people to get along because I am religious. Another part of me wants to agree with you because not everyone who is religious is a bad person.

I'm not going to complain about the people who come forward and say they are religious and do not consider trans people to be 'pedophiles' or 'groomers'. I have some friends who are truly religious and live that way every day. Guess what? They don't call out the trans people as being sinful or an issue. They are friends with people who are gay, bi, trans, etc. and love them like they do everyone else. Unfortunately there is a known issue with those who run organized religions either abusing children or sweeping evidence of it under the rug. Drag queens are responsible for far less abuse of minors than Catholic priests.

If you can actively call out that abuse and reject the hatred spewed towards the LGBTQIA+ community, you are someone I consider to be more religious than thousands of others. My wife has family that have turned their backs on our children because of their gender and orientation, all because they consider themselves 'religious'.

As I said, I am religious myself and I try to be a nice person to everyone. And I do think that you do have a fair point there but it isn't easy to deal with people who won't listen. Also, there are good and bad in every group. Pointing out the bad things just doesn't excuse the good things and visa-virsa.

As you say, there are good and bad in every group. The difference comes down to excusing the bad in the group you identify with while condemning the ones in the other group.

Here's a moral dilemma to ponder: you can feed 100 people who say they are hungry and haven't eaten in days. Would you withhold doing so if it turned out 99 of them were lying and you were truly only helping one? Or would you withhold doing so if it turned out that one of them was lying and the other 99 were not? Do you let 99 people go hungry to ensure that the one who doesn't need it does not get a free meal? Or would you give out 99 free meals just to ensure the one does not go hungry?

 

[Edgewater]

I'm not going to complain about the people who come forward and say they are religious and do not consider trans people to be 'pedophiles' or 'groomers'. I have some friends who are truly religious and live that way every day. Guess what? They don't call out the trans people as being sinful or an issue. They are friends with people who are gay, bi, trans, etc. and love them like they do everyone else. Unfortunately there is a known issue with those who run organized religions either abusing children or sweeping evidence of it under the rug. Drag queens are responsible for far less abuse of minors than Catholic priests.

If you can actively call out that abuse and reject the hatred spewed towards the LGBTQIA+ community, you are someone I consider to be more religious than thousands of others. My wife has family that have turned their backs on our children because of their gender and orientation, all because they consider themselves 'religious'.

As you say, there are good and bad in every group. The difference comes down to excusing the bad in the group you identify with while condemning the ones in the other group.

Here's a moral dilemma to ponder: you can feed 100 people who say they are hungry and haven't eaten in days. Would you withhold doing so if it turned out 99 of them were lying and you were truly only helping one? Or would you withhold doing so if it turned out that one of them was lying and the other 99 were not? Do you let 99 people go hungry to ensure that the one who doesn't need it does not get a free meal? Or would you give out 99 free meals just to ensure the one does not go hungry?

I maybe wrong, but I recall that someone has a sore spot for those who profess a religious bent.
You have taken this discussion far from its subject and with hope it stops here.

 

[todderhr]

I maybe wrong, but I recall that someone has a sore spot for those who profess a religious bent.
You have taken this discussion far from its subject and with hope it stops here.

I'm religious, AB, sissy, gay, likely trans (guess that would make me straight)... It's certainly not all religious people.

I've certainly had experiences with pedos from child sexual abuse, neither of them identified as LGBT.

 

[KittyninjaW]

I maybe wrong, but I recall that someone has a sore spot for those who profess a religious bent.
You have taken this discussion far from its subject and with hope it stops here.

Agreed it kinda strayed a bit away from subject. I hope it stops here.

 

[BabyHailey1977]

That's what I thought before transitioned....
Once i transitioned I realized it was all in my head

I really do hope so.