Anxiety disorder affecting public affection

MrGnome

Est. Contributor
Messages
240
Age
31
Role
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Little
I feel that my anxiety disorder effects enjoying public places with my wife. My wife likes to go out and hold hands, kiss in public, etc. However with my anxiety makes it really hard to show affection in public. She also wants to make me more babyish in public. But that's a huge no no for me. Especially with my anxiety, it would feel like a nightmare. I don't mind if she just wants me to wear a diaper under my clothing as long as I have a long shirt. All though that's also bit nerve racking. I just feel people are staring at me and my heart starts racing even, if their not. Or I worry their making fun of us. Part of me wants to let her do it and take all my worries away. But I quickly switch back my adult mind and I know that kind of life is not realistic. My wife is the opposite of me she's very loud and social. Lots times because of her aspergers she just can't stop talking and really annoys people. I even hear people make nasty comments behind her back. "That girl just wont shut the hell up", or "that girls really weird". I have to pull her away from conversations sometimes because I can tell the person is getting annoyed. I have better sense when people are getting tired or annoyed. So I try help her with this. I'm more antisocial and like to keep affection at home. I do like going hiking and going outside but only if there's not many people around. But if one my neighbors are outside I basically run back inside to avoid talking to them. But I feel like my disorder is hurting our relationship. And feel my wife does have right to want feel a bit loved in public. Sometimes she says she thinks I'm of ashamed her and don't love her. But it's NOT that at all. It's just my stupid anxiety making me like that. I just wish I could get rid that heart racing paralyzing stomach feeling, I get. So I could actually enjoy being with her public, not be such a scaredy cat. Anyone have similar situations? Or have similar feelings with SAD?
 

Rooky

Est. Contributor
Messages
145
Role
Adult Baby, Babyfur, Little
I don't think there's a quick fix for all of this. A decent therapist goes a long way.
 

stareegirl

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Other
Talking to your wife about everything that's happening to her to you and between the two of you will help greatly. Perhaps you can try some compromises. Talk to your wife about paying more attention to social cues, if she'll listen. Ask that the two of you spend less time in social situations so you can calm down and think. Try to be a little more affectionate but not to the point it causes serious anxiety. Don't look for a quick fix because anxiety never actually goes away. Meds and therapy can help but it's not for everyone.
 

Punku

Est. Contributor
Messages
46
Role
Adult Baby, Little
Time, repetition and medication helped me. Perhaps associate pda's with the fact you're doing something good for her. Maybe even have a reward to help motivate you? She knows you struggle with anxiety so just the act of trying goes a long way. Baby steps, it's tough but each step eventually gets easier.

Get some medication and therapy, practice mindfulness and if you want, smoke CBD oils. They have no thc so you won't pop on a drug test.
 

MrGnome

Est. Contributor
Messages
240
Age
31
Role
Adult Baby, Diaper Lover, Little
Thanks guys for the input good advice! I don't want her to think I don't love her. I don't know what I'd do without her! So I need to make some change to how improve how deal with anxiety. I know lots of my problem is avoidance behavior, I have all these nightmare scenarios in my head that gonna say something stupid and like end of the world feeling. But sometimes when I just force myself to talk to people usually it goes really good. I'm honestly not much for medication. They have prescribed me clonazepam and benzos. I did try it for a bit but I was very scared about the side effects and how addicting it is. My best friend was prescribed benzos and got hooked. He describes the withdrawals as basically like hell. They say it can take 2 years to fully withdraw from it. If you take it, it's basically for life. The shame is did really help but I feel the side effects at least for me is worse than my illness. But I have nothing against therapist which I will admit I never got the courage to talk to one. I also do agree with CBT because I heard helps rewire your brain that certain situation really aren't the end of the world. And yes I do have plenty of CBD but haven't been using it much. I need start taking it again.
 
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