Another ? If You Were an AB/DL Parent

[Pramrider]

How would you handle your child bringing up the subject on their own? For example, he/she might come home from school one day and say, "Weirdest thing I saw....this other kid stooped down to tie a shoelace and I saw the top of a diaper showing above his pants. Really strange, eh?" How would you handle that? Just pretty much blow it away, "Yeah, that was...umm...interesting"? Or, would you feel comfortable enough to then take a little time and explain a few basic facts about infantilism and why the other kid might have been wearing? Not infantilism from A to Z, but a brief discussion in hopes of helping your son/daughter to at least be understanding of other people who are part of the community.

I had a similar experience myself early in this year. I picked up my son at work one day and he started telling me about these two teens in the store, and that one had a urine smell that pretty much followed him around. His pants weren't wet, so my son was thinking *wet diaper* and couldn't understand why a teen would be wearing one. In that instance, I took some time while we rode home to give a brief explanation of why some people do wear diapers even though beyond toddler age. I spoke from both the medical and psychological standpoint. Tried to give him just enough info so he'd be understanding if he ever came across any ABs or DLs in his lifetime. Didn't allude to myself in any way being one, but only discussed the experience he had at the store to encourage him to be tolerant of others. After our discussion, he seemed to be more understanding as to why the customer could have been wearing and didn't react in any negative way, so I felt I had accomplished my goal in talking with him.

~Pramrider

 

[Verscha]

I think it's quite important to teach a child tolerance no matter what the subject matter is. At school, kids will most likely bear witness to countless instances of intolerance, so it's important that the parent (along with educators etc) act as a sort of counterbalance to that.

 

[Ultima]

I have to agree completely, tolerance is something that isn't seen/shown a lot in society nowadays. If you explain to your kid the multiple reasons why someone other than a baby/toddler wears diapers, they'll be more understanding to peoples' situations in general. I think that goes for EVERYTHING too, not just infantilism. It will get your kids to understand that no matter what it is, people have reasons behind what they do, not that they are just freaks or weirdos.

 

[Trevor]

I don't think I'd start off with a discussion of infantilism in the case you described simply because it's not the most likely explanation for someone wearing a diaper. Maybe I'd be missing a golden opportunity to try to spread understanding and tolerance, but it just seems like a bit of a leap, and it's not up to me to "out" someone else.

Now if there was something to the story that made it sound like incontinence wasn't the reason, I'd still start there, and then work into other explanations. I'd keep it pretty light, though, as in, "Some people like to wear diapers even when they might not need them." I'd really want to avoid giving more information on that then was desired, same as with any other strange human behavior.

 

[Takashi]

Yeah I think I would do that.

 

[Ryan_d]

It sounds to me like he did not just explain the part of AB/DL but also incontinent... and other reasons. Which I think was a good way to do it.

I agree though, Don't start out about AB/DL especially if you don't want your child to think you are one XP

 

[Grutzvalt]

"So, do you want to wear diapers, too?"

 

[Pramrider]

It sounds to me like he did not just explain the part of AB/DL but also incontinent... and other reasons. Which I think was a good way to do it.

I agree though, Don't start out about AB/DL especially if you don't want your child to think you are one XP

Yeah, I didn't go into the sexual side of diaper wearing at all, or into any other AB activities, or bring up the term "infantilism". There wasn't any need, and I'd feel very uncomfortable going there myself. I just wanted to give him a couple simple reasons for why the guy in the store may have been wearing, the simplest being incontinence. Then I mentioned some people have had events in their lives while growing up which caused a good deal of insecurity to be felt. They relate the diaper wearing to the comfort and security they once had as a very young child, so it fills an important psychological need with them to have one on. He was completely OK with those brief explanations, and that's where I let the conversation rest. He's never brought the subject up again and neither have I.

~Pramrider

 

[ArcticFluffy]

Teach him that they are freaks and need to be killed like gays,no whites, and other religions then mine.

Seriously though

lightly Smack him up side the head and tell him Not to be rude and if He starts spreading roomers(even if it is true) his ass is going to be on fire that night and maybe the next day too. I'm going to be a mean parent. Nice but "mean" in the eyes of my child.

I'd teach him/her tolerance though. But I believe in corporal punishment. I kn ow if my parents did not beat my ass every time i fucked up big time I'd be way worse.

 

[FullMetal]

How would you handle your child bringing up the subject on their own? For example, he/she might come home from school one day and say, "Weirdest thing I saw....this other kid stooped down to tie a shoelace and I saw the top of a diaper showing above his pants. Really strange, eh?" How would you handle that?

~Pramrider

I would be like "GTFO, wahat a fucking weirdo!!!"

No, I joke. Listen, I feel that my fetish is my personal thing. It is the same to me as someones fetish of S&M and I do not think they would tell their kid about that. So I would just play it off as "I am sure you were just seeing things" or "maybe he has a medical condition" or something along those lines. I mean, I wouldn't go and tell my son "You know why that man is wearing a collar? Well, son, some people like to be tied up and even some like to be hit with other guys cocks while in bondage! But...everyone has their kinks! *Sarah Palin Wink*" Yea...no.

I really think that I would not tell my kid of something like that...I mean I wouldn't even feel it necessary. And I know that I will be a father and something might change, but that is how I fell now.

FullMetal

 

[Squigma]

It's questions like this that make me a bit glad I never plan to be a parent.

Without a doubt I'd want to teach my child tolerance, but I'm not sure how the best way would be to go about that. I could just sort of blow it off, and say something along the lines of "I'm sure they had their reasons for doing it, and it's not for you to judge".

Or I could discuss what some of those reasons might be. I think that would be a better way to teach my child to be tolerant, but I wouldn't really want to bring up *b/dl or anything - it would be really awkward and I think they should find out about things like that for themselves, if at all.

Like I said, I'm glad I don't plan to be a parent...

 

[Jewbacca]

Step 1: I'd ask them if they found a problem that the other person was wearing a diaper.
if they did
I'd probably mention how it may be possibility of a medical condition causing them to need to wear them.

if the child managed to rule out that possibility:
I'd mention how the child may have security issues and may need diapers to solve those security problems, much like how some children carry around a security blanket all the time.

then I'd probably tell my kid if he has anymore questions about it we can go to a psychologist, who would probably know a lot more about this subject than I would, and he can ask all the questions he wants.

if my child didn't find a problem with it, I'd just drop the subject.

 

[daria7483]

I think I'd explain to my kids first that some people have bladder control problems, that this could have been caused by an accident or an illness or it could just be temporary, and that while incontinence is most common in the elderly, it can affect people of all ages and there are probably some kids at his/her school who also are incontinent.

I think it's important not to make an issue where there is one. If the kid is merely curious, then there's no need to launch into a speech about tolerance and diversity. However, if my child said "ewww, that's gross," I would remind them that incontinence is a physical disability and it's no more okay to make fun of an incontinent person than a person in a wheelchair.

As for bringing up infantilism and diaper fetishes...maybe if my kid was a teen, but I'd feel really awkward going down that route. It's hard to explain about something that describes you without letting on that it describes you, or feeling really really uncomfortable. Sort of like how some closeted gay people act very intolerant of homosexuality because they don't want anyone to guess that they're gay. I wouldn't want to teach my child intolerance of diaper fetishes, but I also wouldn't really feel comfortable discussing it.

 

[Eclipse]

I think you handled it very well from what you told us Pram. I would have done the same thing by stating out that there are many reasons why could have been wearing a diaper. Starting out with medical reasons, and then ending with exactly what you said about the security, without giving him any real defining words like infantilism or ab or dl. Also do what hypnotoad said and make sure there was no hard feelings against people like that. I would want to treat my kid tolerance, and would not feel weird talking to them about this at all, as long as I am not telling them about me, it would not bother me.

Fullmetal, I really did not agree with your response. If your their parent, your the only one there to teach them litterally everything excluding academics, and even sometimes assisting in that. They do not know it, but they depend on you to show them the way. Just because you describe this stuff to them does not mean they have to know about you and does not mean you have to go into great detail. If you just brushed the subject off like you described your kid is very likely to be the one to laugh and point and make fun of that kid/person, because they do not understand it, cause you failed to help them understand. Just think about it, how would you feel if a kid laughed at you for your diapers? I am sure you would not be too happy about that, and that can all be prevented by a role model they look up to (prefably a parent) explaining it to them so they don't make fun of it or look down upon it.

 

[wetatnight]

I would start out explaing that some people need to wear diapers for medical reasons and maybe not discuss the ab/dl possibility unless you feel your child would be able to understand what that is.
some people also wear diapers for convenience also.:smile1:

 

[Charlie]

It's hard to imagine myself as a parent, but if I'd be anything like I am now, my child would probably find me to be really strange anyway, so giving them a short speech on the many reasons why somebody would wear a nappy probably wouldn't be usual.
I guess it depends on how old the child is, I'd be more explanative yet humorous with a teen, but I wouldn't mention anything other than incontinence with a younger person, and I'd be dead serious when discussing it.

 

[Pramrider]

Age is certainly a big factor to consider with this kind of situation. My son was 18 at the time, so I figured he could handle and needed more than a one-liner response. At his age there was a likelihood, however remote, of actually coming across a *B/DL, and I didn't want him to freak out over it if he ever did. Hope he will now respond in an understanding way. If he had been a pre-teen, say, I would have just stopped at the possible medical need for wearing one, and encourage him not to mention what he saw to the person, or to others, as it could cause hurt feelings and embarrassment. That would have been sufficient for his age.

~Pramrider