An open letter to give your partner who just discovered your ABDL side

shollyknox

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So, I've been following the events over on this thread about @diaperedwife4life's struggles when her spouse found her ABDL shopping history. It made me sad. I know she's not the first to have a spouse freak out when they discovered they have a little or DL on their hands.

I decided to try to write an introduction to our lifestyle that members here could use to help diffuse the "WTF" moments that usually follow a surprise discovery by a spouse or partner.

I realize that it contains some broad generalizations and doesn't cover every nuance and aspect of our lifestyle. I was shooting for a top-level introduction designed to get a shocked spouse to back down from the edge of doing something precipitous in a heated moment. Obviously, the reader will need to dig deeper to fully understand our community and its multifaceted, diverse inhabitants.

I'd welcome your thoughts and input on it.

Cheers,
holly
 

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legonia

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This is incredible. I love how succinctly you put it. I absolutely LOVED how you said "Despite what you may be thinking to the contrary, your partner is the exact same person now as they were the day before you found out about this secret. Nothing has changed about them."

Wow, just outstanding. Really love the attention and care that went into this!
 
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SoftMichel

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Thank you for this excellent document. I can honestly say this is very informative for me too. Lots of good information. The eternal question, why do I have these urges? I have asked myself this like forever. Yes, I am the exact same person. All my characteristics, traits, that is the ABDL me. Again, thank you. Thank you so much for your support.
 
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littlemoosey

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shollyknox said:
So, I've been following the events over on this thread about @diaperedwife4life's struggles when her spouse found her ABDL shopping history. It made me sad. I know she's not the first to have a spouse freak out when they discovered they have a little or DL on their hands.

I decided to try to write an introduction to our lifestyle that members here could use to help diffuse the "WTF" moments that usually follow a surprise discovery by a spouse or partner.

I realize that it contains some broad generalizations and doesn't cover every nuance and aspect of our lifestyle. I was shooting for a top-level introduction designed to get a shocked spouse to back down from the edge of doing something precipitous in a heated moment. Obviously, the reader will need to dig deeper to fully understand our community and its multifaceted, diverse inhabitants.

I'd welcome your thoughts and input on it.

Cheers,
holly
I just read this, it is awesome a well put together letter to a prospective AB/DL partner. It probably wont turn every body around but I know it will truly help some. Thank you so much for thinking this through and taking the time to write this down.

LM
 
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diaperedwife4life

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Like I mentioned before in another thread, this letter helped / helping my situation of being discovered by my husband, I did make some changes to customize to me and my husband but the fat that @shollyknox put This together, the time , energy, and frankl love and support that went into this letter is astounding.
 
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shollyknox

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diaperedwife4life said:
Like I mentioned before in another thread, this letter helped / helping my situation of being discovered by my husband, I did make some changes to customize to me and my husband but the fat that @shollyknox put This together, the time , energy, and frankl love and support that went into this letter is astounding.
I'm glad you found it helpful! Fingers crossed it does some good for you!

And thank you to everyone else for the kind words! I appreciate them.

Hugs,
holly
 

littlemoosey

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diaperedwife4life said:
Like I mentioned before in another thread, this letter helped / helping my situation of being discovered by my husband, I did make some changes to customize to me and my husband but the fat that @shollyknox put This together, the time , energy, and frankl love and support that went into this letter is astounding.
Outstanding Dw4l!! I am so glad that this has already helped. When I read it, I could not help but think, "if you could only get your husband to read this!" it would have to help.

I think that it was so well done, good for you having the courage to give it to him.
 
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diaperedwife4life

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littlemoosey said:
Outstanding Dw4l!! I am so glad that this has already helped. When I read it, I could not help but think, "if you could only get your husband to read this!" it would have to help.

I think that it was so well done, good for you having the courage to give it to him.
It was terrifying, and I actually did it through our bathroom door lol after about half way through he said he needed to tell me some things about himself that he felt the letter could provide a map of sorts on how to discuss
 
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DPLuvAB

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@shollyknox, this is an amazing letter and something I wish I had when I came out to my girlfriend. Even though I told her and she didn't 'find out' by accident, you've put so much thought and info into this letter it would have been amazing to read to her to clear things up when I was too emotional to explain things well.

A few thoughts I have;
*How and where can this get stickied so it doesn't get buried?
*Why isn't there a section on the site for relationship advice? I've seen so many threads about relationships and coming out that get lost in the depths of the many spaces here, would be nice to have a specific area for these discussions since the search function isn't always the most helpful. (I realize this point and the one above aren't about the contents of the letter, just general thoughts I had while reading it.)
*Second to last paragraph there's a typo in the second sentence: 'board' should be 'broad'.
*Your use of the Oxford comma and double space after punctuation makes me happy!

Thank you again for taking the time to write this up!
 
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shollyknox

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DPLuvAB said:
@shollyknox, this is an amazing letter and something I wish I had when I came out to my girlfriend. Even though I told her and she didn't 'find out' by accident, you've put so much thought and info into this letter it would have been amazing to read to her to clear things up when I was too emotional to explain things well.

A few thoughts I have;
*How and where can this get stickied so it doesn't get buried?
*Why isn't there a section on the site for relationship advice? I've seen so many threads about relationships and coming out that get lost in the depths of the many spaces here, would be nice to have a specific area for these discussions since the search function isn't always the most helpful. (I realize this point and the one above aren't about the contents of the letter, just general thoughts I had while reading it.)
*Second to last paragraph there's a typo in the second sentence: 'board' should be 'broad'.
*Your use of the Oxford comma and double space after punctuation makes me happy!

Thank you again for taking the time to write this up!
Thanks you for the kind words @DPLuvAB!

Re: Getting stickied and a relationship advice section. I second your opinion on the need for a Relationship Advice subforum. That would probably make a things easier for people to find. As for the stickying, I have no idea, but @Turfy would probably know. I'm just gratified that you think it worthy of such.

Re: the typo: Dang it! Now I have to go sit in the corner! But I tried really hard!

Re: the Oxford comma and space: Oh yes. That's absolutely the proper way. I don't care what anyone at MLA has to say about it.
 
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pdiapered

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This is great even though I'm not married!!
 
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Ian16545

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Well planned, Holly. May not change everybody's minds right quick, but it's a step in the right direction.
 
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