Am I a loser?

[diaperedteenager]

Okay, my parents were asking and urging me to go out and do something tonight, my response...Sitting on the computer is free. This is my routine on a saturday night...

1.Work on my website
2. Play some video games
3. More coding

It has been atleast 3 months since I hung out with a friend on a weekend. I am 17 and have NEVER been on a date, or hung out with a girl, ever! I don't go out anywhere much, because it costs too much, hence why I work on my website, to earn me money. So, my question is this., do you all think I am a loser or loner for acting the way I act?

 

[Takashi]

I think you should go out and enjoy life alittle more but your doing what makes you happy.

 

[Boogeyman]

You are if you have to ask. You already know the answer.

 

[Alex888]

Ugh.

No one is a loser who's doing something that is productive and makes him happy.

God forbid you don't completely conform to social mores.

Not everyone derives enjoyment from hanging out with a group of people on a Friday night.

You're just an introvert. The world is predominantly extroverted, and people think that there's something "wrong" with introverts. There's not. You're just different.

 

[LaramFox]

My Mon - Fri Routine: Sleep Or Computer, School, 1/2 Hour Ride Home On The Bus, Computer, Off At 10:30, Sleep / Watch TV, Then Sleep.

Fri Night - Sunday: Up ALL Night On The Computer, Sleep All Day, Up All Night On The Computer, Sleep All Day, On The Computer Till 10:30, Watch TV Till I Fall Asleep.

I Think I'm Worse?

-200th Post.

 

[diaperedwolfcub]

Absolutely not! Dude... pretty much your kind like doing your priorities... but remember you can be to stingy...

So what I am saying is your definitely not a loser, but you are asking this question... so it seems to be that you want to go out on the weekends. If you don't and your asking out of peer pressure well shame on the people who make you feel that way.

Of course being too stingy (spending wise) is not good either. You have to live your life sometime. What is the point in just making money if you are never going to use it. I mean yes you can work your ass off so you can make money to afford a house and means of living... but seriously you got to have fun too.

Although your fun might be enjoying coding and working on websites and playing video games. Well all the more power to you. There are some people out there who just love to be to themselves. They don't like going out and they are not social. What makes them happy is being alone and doing what they like to do best. So if this is what it is then so be it... it does not make you a loser!

Also though if you have that feeling about you that you are a loser ( because you want to go out, but afraid of rejection) well you need to get out then!!! Worst thing you can do is sit back and not do something when you want to. Yes you might be rejected at first, but you will find you spot in things.

It is like dating... starting out is so difficult because you have no idea where to start. After a few dates you get the hang of it and become more relaxed and it becomes easier. Also if you never do these things it will be some what harder because you will by shy and timid most likely. You just need to get out and do things. If you really want to get social get involved with volunteer programs (that is an excellent way to meet people... and even meet dates ) Make sure you volunteer for something you like though.

Like I use to volunteer at the animal shelter... it was like jackpot central... a ton of hott girls... plus they all thought it was great for what I was doing. Then volunteers had get together nights and everyone had a great time. There is just a lot of places you could volunteer for... get out there and find them if you want to be social. You will meet a lot of people. (and most of the time they are really friendly.) Get out and have fun. Be yourself and take it easy. If someone is a jerk... then obviously you don't want them as a friend anyways. So that it just a good way to meet different people and get involved with different things.

So what it comes down to is what you want to do.

If you enjoy being alone at home and just coding and enjoying games by all means DO THAT... it makes you happy! Not a loser!

But if you feel that you want to get out... try and get out.

As long as your happy that what counts...

So BE HAPPY is what this whole thing says.

lol sorry for the long short story.

Best of luck!

diaperedwolfcub.

 

[ShippoFox]

No. I don't think you're a loser. Your life is for you. You don't have to conform to everything "normal" according to society. Just do what you like to do.

 

[Silikon]

I only go out when people ask me. I'm kinda split I hang out with people somewhat often I guess. Honestly, most Fridays and weekends i'll get texts from people but I usually turn down their offers to hang out because I just prefer to be alone and do my own thing.

If I do hang out with people its always been on Fridays I think. I like weekends to be me time.



Eh...I wouldn't say you're a LOSER, but definitely by social norms you're in the "no life" category. Not always a bad thing at least you're doing something fairly productive.

 

[Pojo]

If you have to ask, then yes. But it's for you to decide. Do you think you are a loser, or do you think that society thinks that you are a loser. That's what it all goes down to. What does a loser really mean. The social world seems to classify it in many ways, but that doesn't mean it's the right definition. Look at it this way: do you enjoy how you spend your day, or do you feel that you could be doing more with your time. You're the only one who can change your ways, so instead of trying to define yourself, try to see why you think you are a loser. It's not good to think negatively about yourself like that.

I typed all of that on my iPod. It was a pain in the ass.

 

[Butterfly Mage]

I think that if you're 17 and you've already figured out a way to have an income stream, you are NOT a loser. When I was 17, my average Saturday night also involved working a job in order to earn some money.

 

[g6s]

I have to disagree with everyone. Yeah, you need to get out there. Its people that don't "follow social norms" that say its okay to not "follow social norms." We are a friendly people, and as such, you need to be out enjoying adventures. You're life is too short and precious to waste away on a computer. Go do something. Something real.

 

[Alex888]

I have to disagree with everyone. Yeah, you need to get out there. Its people that don't "follow social norms" that say its okay to not "follow social norms." We are a friendly people, and as such, you need to be out enjoying adventures. You're life is too short and precious to waste away on a computer. Go do something. Something real.

What you consider "wasting away" might make him happy. Stop trying to pressure him to suppress or deny his introversion. He enjoys it and it's harming no one.

 

[teddy564339]

I think that if you're 17 and you've already figured out a way to have an income stream, you are NOT a loser. When I was 17, my average Saturday night also involved working a job in order to earn some money.

This is a really good point because here's the thing...there are some people out there who in high school may not socially be labeled as "losers". They may go out and party and all of that, but they may have no work ethic or responsibility when it comes to work and money. Sometimes these people still end up living with their parents into their late 20's because they can't get a job and keep it. In my opinion, this type of person is more of a loser than someone who would rather spend time to themselves but can support themselves.

Its people that don't "follow social norms" that say its okay to not "follow social norms."

This may be true to a degree, but certainly not across the board. That's like saying that because I don't prefer to go out to parties and get drunk that I think everyone who does that is wrong. I have friends who do and friends who don't. Just because it isn't for me doesn't mean that I think anyone who does it is wrong.

The same can be true from the other direction...someone who is the a big social person may understand that not everyone is like them and can be happy doing things in a different way.

We are a friendly people, and as such, you need to be out enjoying adventures. You're life is too short and precious to waste away on a computer. Go do something. Something real.

This is interesting to me because I agree with this....but only in a certain way. I honestly think life comes down to whatever makes you happy (while not harming other people). I do think that it's important to TRY new and different things sometimes because there may be something out there that you would really enjoy and love if you tried it.

However, if you try something and know that you don't like it (or if you can get a really good idea that you wouldn't like something before trying it) then there's no point in doing it. Why should everyone have to go out and have adventures? If someone absolutely hates doing it, then to me that's a bigger waste of time than doing something they enjoy.

I've heard people say "in 20 years you're not going to remember watching TV or playing video games...but you will remember the things you went out and did". I agree a little bit with the sentiment, but honestly...that's not true for me personally. I CAN remember certain times when I played certain video games or watched certain movies and they're really good memories to me...because I was happy. I can say the same for certain times with friends and certain outdoor activities too. But to me, it's ALL important.


So basically, like other people have said...you've got to find what makes you happy and do it. If you're lonely and not enjoying spending time by yourself, then yes, you should work on doing something about it to make your life mean more to you. But if you're perfectly content doing what you're doing and don't see any opportunities to do other things to make you happier, then don't let what other people think dictate what you do....because that will leave you even less happy.

 

[diaperedteenager]

This is my take on life right now. We are in a recession heading into depression. This is not time for fun, it is all hands on deck. I work VERY hard on my business to make me money, b/c the next day my parents may not have jobs, so then where will my next meal come from if there is no money?

I have thought of working as a volenteer, but I really hate the idea of working for no pay. I am a little bit of a Capitalistic Extremist. I cringe at the very idea of free labor. IT amazes me that animal shelters, etc aren't closing their dorrs b/c of these hard times.

So, I skip out on hanging out with people for a few reasons...

1.No one ever asks me to do anything
2. When I ask people no one wants to do something with me
3.Recession---> Depression, where might my next meal come from with no money?
4. I want to make something of myself in life, maybe making $100,000,000 per year

 

[Chillhouse]

Dude, if don't have a social life, then make one. Join some clubs or something. Get a job. Go to some tai chi, yoga, or karate classes. And learn to play the guitar. Chicks dig that. If you can't afford guitar lessons, then just carry the guitar around on your back wherever you go. Chicks dig that too.

I'll be the first to admit that I don't go out much durring the winter. I become stagnent and I vegitate in my house a whole lot. It's because I'm so outdoors oriented and in the winter there isn't much to do outside except drop 50$ driving out to the ski hill for the day. If it wasn't for my school's weight room, I'd probably never get excercise during winter.

The point is, you need to get out more. No, I'm not pressuring you to "supress your introversion". Humans need interaction with other humans. It's a fact. Babies need to be touched in their early years so they can form a healthy psyche. It's also true for adults.
You need to have fun. You need to step back from the comp and live your life. You need to stop worrying about making money.

Otherwise, one day, you'll wake up rich and old and wonder where your life went.

 

[link]

I've done the same thing for most of my life, but now I've met a group of kids that really like me. Most of them want me to go out with them, but I don't want to go out with anyone. So now I have to give most of my weekends to them, but occasionaly I get to stay home. Those are good times.

 

[Jewbacca]

So, my question is this., do you all think I am a loser or loner for acting the way I act?

Loser, might not, loner, definitely, but it doesn't really matter if you plan on doing a job that doesn't involve much in the way of social skills.

4. I want to make something of myself in life, maybe making $100,000,000 per year

well, this may present itself to be a problem, with your current social habits. Most of the people in the world who make that much money are charismatic. even if you make a great product, you have to be able to sell it. the usual personality of those people is akin to con-men. With the type of work that you appear to be heading towards, expect to earn 3 digits less + or - 40k.

 

[Butterfly Mage]

I would say you could probably make $100,000/year with some very underdeveloped social skills. For instance, engineers, tax accountants, corporate lawyers all make good money but few would say they constitute the "life of the party".

And just because you're a teen doesn't mean you *have* to go out partying. There are other social things you might enjoy more. For me, I have a religious group and a RPG group that are a lot of fun.

When I was your age, I had very few friend my own age. I think because I was already in a job, most of my friends were older than me.

 

[Silikon]

What you consider "wasting away" might make him happy. Stop trying to pressure him to suppress or deny his introversion. He enjoys it and it's harming no one.

Not everyone here is going to agree with your opinion. He asked for what everyone thinks and handfulofoats counts as everyone. That's the joy of a forum.

 

[diaperedteenager]

idea, On the contrary...When it comes down to selling something like selling a product or idea, I have remarkable social skills, it is just for the teenage norm, where i lack and can't stand it.