Advice please: wife and diapers

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couchesstevenboy

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Hi everyone!
I would please like your advices about the following Subject:

So my wife knows I wear diapers and that I actually enjoy very much wearing them even though she still don't get why and she is still not really ok about it.

I have wear them In front of her several times (just diapers and t-shirt this last summer), I've put them on while she is in the room, sleeping just with a diaper or diaper with onesie and she even have diapered me and remove the diaper a couple of times cause I broke my shoulder some months ago and I couldn't get dressed
So yeah In that sense I consider myself lucky :)

The thing is; whenever I wear one and she noticed it (maybe the crinkle noise, while I'm diapering up. or she touched me while we cuddle in bed)
She always gives me a remark like *-Sight- * " I don't like when you were diapers"
"don't expect me to hug you during the night"
"I'm tired of your diapers"

Or like last night: : did you plastified your Bum? I don't like when you wear them, the noise the make when you walk....sounds just like a elder /senior" "plus the smell of your wet diaper in the morning under the sheets is not nice"
"the loud sound of your plastic diapers reminds me the old people I used to work with "(she is a nurse and one summer she worked for a retirement house)


So for this last part about that i sound like a grandpa, I replied " "I'm not a grandpa, I'm a baby" and she replied " yeah but still. Plus babies when they walk or move they don't make that much noise" "your diapers crinkle a lot"

What do you think I should reply whenever she gives me these remarks? Specially when she says "I don't like/I hate when you wear diapers"
I never know what to reply, normally I just say "I know", then I change the subject (I stay diapered of course)

What do you suggest me to say and reply?

Thank you in advance.
Hugs
 

foxkits

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So you need to talk it out .
I see she see's you as an old man she want's her prince some times.
She is telling you how she feel's but your not hearing.
We need more back ground on how long married when and what you told her about your diapers.
Do you have kids?
Ok i see your incontinent

Then me and others can be fare on both sides.
Most times it's a compromise being married
You say that she doesn't understand it well have you given her stuff to explain it more so she understands.

If you both talk it out and decide what your countenance issues are and see if we can work out a compromise maybe diapers that aren't so crinkly may help changing in the morning when you first notice it so that the smells don't get to her.
I can see from what you typed that she doesn't feel romantic with you when you're wearing your diaper it's kind of a turnoff for her.
Nurse's aren't typically thrilled changing diapers and if she was in a nursing home for year it was not fun she had do it all the time.
So you're wearing reminder of the unpleasantness of the job and the smells smell certain smells really drive people crazy.

I wish you luck but step back a little look though her eye's too mabey see her side too.
 

Rob110

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If you don't need your diapers for a medical issue why not wear juring the day under your cloths and not wear at night. This way you and your wife can cuddle with out the diaper in the way. I think your wife is really hinting she is not happy and remember the main rule a happy wife is a happy life :)
 

couchesstevenboy

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Hi!! Thank ya'll three for your posts :)
So here it goes more about us: we have 29years old, being married for two years and a half now and we still don't have kids.


Ok so I was a heavy bedwetting when I was a kid and kept having accidents every once in a while and still have at the present time specially when I'm way too tired, stressed (as well if I take anxiety pills which is like once every two weeks)

Im now in treatment for overactive bladder and is working sort of well. Since I've always have overactive bladder I always needed diapers every now and then specially for trips, flight, long working hours, concerts or anything else where I would find a bathroom near by.

When we moved in together she noticed that I was going to pee often and had small leaks in my underwear so it didn't took long to me telling her that diapers where hardy from time to time and she was sort of ok, specially cause I wouldnt wake her up 3 times per night whenever I was getting up to the toilet.
And then I told her that I actually enjoy wearing them and that in some way they relax me and help me to sleep better.

We got married and everything and one like one year and a half after she convinced me to finally go to a urologist and I agreed and at the same time I told her that I was afraid I wasn't going to be allowed to wear diapers later on and she told me something like, "one step at the time don't worry about that now"
Meanwhile I slowly added some baby items to our life's, like I bought some onesies (regular plein colors), some footed pijamas which I also bought for her cause it gets cold here so we both like those (cozy and comfy)


So now the pills have been improving my life quality and they are working from like 16 pees per day to like 7 or 8 which is good.

Earlier this year I was a bit sad and she saw me and we spoked. I told her that there was one secret I was keeping her and I sort of explain her the fact that I actually enjoyed wearing diapers and i've always been since I was a kid, I told her it was a part of me, part of my nature and I wast sure if it was just a fetish or not and also I might mentioned some other things from the document here in the website about accepting you like diapers and infantilism, I don't showed her that document I just used my own words and improvised but everything I said was with honesty.

She thanked me for trusting her and for have shared that to her and she told me that she was going to love me no matter what, (she also reminds me this whenever I'm sad or we had a fight it something and I know she always will.

Then some months have passed and sometimes I've wear them even if I don't need them at that moment, and she has see me in just diapers and t-shirt or with clothes, etc.
And since the medicine have been working kinda ok I don't have to wear them that much so whenever I wear them just for fun, sometimes she is ok with it and a lot of times she is not.... She doesn't go really angry more like she express some frustration I guess and tells me that diapers for her are not her thing and definitely not a "turn on" plus she reminds me that I'm almost 30 and is not normal for someone like me wearing diapers and that I should talk about it with my new psychologist (I have one cause I'm adhd and she guides me about it )

And then ofcourse the story that I mentioned on my first post which it was some nights ago.

I also have to tell you that I openly sleep with a pacifier some nights they actually do calm me down a bit help me with my insomnia and stop my snoring and ofcourse, because I love it :p :) and about that she understands and don't mine, even says sometimes I look cute.
But I think she accepts it because all the good things they do to me as a therapy. (but not really the part that I also love to be a baby....)

So yeah, I think that whenever it had something to do with my well-being/ therapy, etc. She is kind of ok with the whole stuff. But she still has a lot of trouble accepting my abdl side just for fun.

I also would like to say that what I like the most about wearing diapers or being childish is doing it with her/ being able to do it/ wear them with her by side, being silly and playful with her. Is an important part of my life that I would like to share with here even ofcourse if she won't participate and that's fine with me.

So I don't know what to say really, I don't find my words when she gets me off-guard and she asks me why.

About the diaper I wear are: I'd slip and molicares (both cloth-cover and plastic ones ), crinklz, my diaper night(cool German ones), I've wear cushies, some adult pull ups and maybe some other brand I don't recall right now. All these she has seen me on with.


Thank you once again for your advices and the upcoming ones :)
I appreciate a Lot!!
Hugs
 

dogboy

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I have several thoughts, and they may be in conflict with one another. Since your wife knew you were incontinent before you got married, it seems to me that she should be a little more accepting concerning your diapers, even if you are experiencing more urinary control. But I can understand how she might feel uncomfortable. So if you want her to be more accepting, somehow you need to find ways where she will feel better about your diaper wearing.

Perhaps you need to change the type of diapers you wear. There are some brands which are better with odor control. I wear cloth diapers, and they really do smell by the morning. Now I wear an Ex L Goodnight under the cloth diaper because it will hold most of the urine and they have excellent odor control. I wear very soft, Leakmaster plastic pants over the diaper so it doesn't make hardly any noise. I think you just need to find some middle ground where your wife will be more comfortable.

I'm lucky in that my wife accepts me. She's bought me my plushies, onsies and footed jammies, so I am in a better position than many such as yourself. I wish you the best in this, because like most of us here, I enjoy wearing and using my diaper, especially at night.
 

couchesstevenboy

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Hi dogboy.
Thank you very much for your words and suggestions, I will find middle ground and will try not to be that exposed while I'm wearing and I will also try to wear the cloth like that are less noisie to see how it goes. I remember a moth ago I wore one to bed and she didn't really mind, she even put her hand on it (not sexual speaking just you know when you cuddle, hold hands and fall asleep) So I'll see and I also think I need to control the strength of my desire of wearing try to cool down a bit I guess.
About reducing the noise, what do you think about cotton all in one clothe diapers as "diaper cover" (wearing them over the disposable) Im thinking about the dependenco cottton AIO. What do you think?
 

couchesstevenboy

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Hi foxkits. Thank you so much for your advices, everything makes sense. I do need to step back a little and try to understand her more. I definitely need to talk to her more about it.
Im her price most of the times, I like to cook her give her flowers take het out etc. So pretty much the turn off is just when I'm wearing and is not every day nor night, let's say 1 night every week and a half? And daytime almost every day but she doesn't sees it, she might see me wearing daytime maybe once every two weeks....

I think, like you said, I need to talk to her and tell her that I understand she might not appreciate diapers since she worked with old people and that Maybe see me as a baby.
Thank you for the lucks :)
 

foxkits

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Hi foxkits. Thank you so much for your advices, everything makes sense. I do need to step back a little and try to understand her more. I definitely need to talk to her more about it.
Im her price most of the times, I like to cook her give her flowers take het out etc. So pretty much the turn off is just when I'm wearing and is not every day nor night, let's say 1 night every week and a half? And daytime almost every day but she doesn't sees it, she might see me wearing daytime maybe once every two weeks....

I think, like you said, I need to talk to her and tell her that I understand she might not appreciate diapers since she worked with old people and that Maybe see me as a baby.
Thank you for the lucks :)
Some time it's hard for someone to understand we are littles inside.
My gf say's Im a grown up and she dosent get the little part of me.
Oh i can wear my little stuff and diapers but not realy let my little self out.
She's IC so the diapers are ok .
Some times being submissive as I'm my need's are not met.
It's the best I have found.
The abuse I got in life kind of messed some stuff up.
Can never have a real sexual relationship.
We all do the best we can with what we got.
Take care.
 

couchesstevenboy

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Some time it's hard for someone to understand we are littles inside.
My gf say's Im a grown up and she dosent get the little part of me.

Yeah is actually strange cause she likes when I'm childish and cuddle like that, she is ok if I sleep sometimes with a pacifier though she is not ok if I have the pacifier in the leaving room, she is ok that i have bodies as underwear or pijamas, I have two baby bottles and she knows it and my diapers stand inside the closest were you can clearly sees it. So I think that all those things separately she don't mind, I think is all the things together at once that make her react I guess.
I'll start by wearing cloth like disposable diapers with her to see how that goes and maybe put some "scent" in my night diapers so they can smell different.

Thanks for all :)

Steven
 

couchesstevenboy

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Hello hello!!

Good news, things are going smooth.
I followed your recommendation and I spoked to her for a bit again while we were in bed while being calm, not embarrassed like you suggested (thanks!!
I also told her that I was going to try to be more discreet about it and like try to do it more naturally without forcing it. So I've been doing g that, more, naturally.
Also the other night I wore a more silent and cloth.cover like diapers and she was like she would Mind. She cuddle and everything. Also when I talked to her.she thanked me after :)

Let's see how it goes tonight

Thanks a lot!
 

dogboy

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I'm glad to hear that things are working better. So many members on this site have good ideas on making all of this work on the home front. It doesn't always work, but when it does we all feel good.
 

ozbub

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I'm glad to hear that things are working better. So many members on this site have good ideas on making all of this work on the home front. It doesn't always work, but when it does we all feel good.

Ditto dogboy...
 

couchesstevenboy

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Yes thank you so many good ideas and I can say that thanks to all the comments and other post I've read, I've been learning more about myself, my little self, my diaper wearing etc. I've been getting more confident of who am I really.
This site is the best I've ever been. :)
 

Littlebabaprince

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Wow sorry your in this predicament. hope things work out. I might add it did take me a while to decifer the text due to spelling etc eg "did you plastified your Bum?" :-/ saying that, your second message was much easier to read xx
 

SpAzpieSweeTot

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I have an idea. Would you be into a diaper that was super cute, but made a different sound, or no sound at all, and felt different? If so, try cloth. Not clothlike-backed disposable. Real cloth. Take on washing duty yourself, or risk making her angrier.
 

zackiepooh1992

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That does happen.


- - - Updated - - -

That does happen.

I can second this my ex fiance diapered me for weeks when we were together. Long story short i broke up with her and got back with her years later well she told me that the only reason why she diapered me was because she thought she could accept me but could not i miss her to this day
 

Barnboy

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From my experience with my wife, woman more often it seems, generally just don't see a diaper as a way to be a comforting thing, let alone any kind of turn on for the DL's of us out there. Several years ago, my wife was willing to occasionally diaper me. I even got her to try wearing one a few times, after much pressure and persuading. She had a tuff time using it, but the one time she did and slept with it on, she ended up getting an infection down there. That was the last time for her. Now, it has become more of secret for me to wear, requiring much planning on my part with her schedule so the timing can allow me to enjoy overnight (my preferred choice). The topic comes up occasionally, but never for long. I kind of get a "free pass" when it's that time of the month for her. Otherwise, she sees it as a substitute for her. That is why when in a relationship, you must be attentive to your partners needs. If not, the diaper becomes the source of much anxiety and will ultimately lead to arguing and potentially a lost relationship. Compromise, Communication and Compassion for each other's needs (three C's) should be the pillars that the relationship is supported by. A strong foundation goes a long way to prevent a total collapse.
 
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